Using Influence to Decrease Conflict
Written by: Eva Medilek, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise
Everywhere you look, people are trying to influence you with their views and opinions on everything from politics, to COVID-19, to racism and more. But all that is being seen and heard are accusations, defensiveness, divisiveness and conflict. No one seems to be willing to open themselves up to listening and learning. We want to be right and righteous about where we stand on any given subject or issue. When so many of us are convinced that we are right, there is bound to be conflict. And, where there is conflict, there is a lack of influence.
As a result, all we are left with is anger, frustration, disappointment and broken relationships. In our attempt to come closer together, we are actually drifting further and further apart. Neither side is willing to consider a different perspective. It’s more important to be right than to be happy. So, if you want the people in your life to see things from your perspective, you’ve got to learn the skill of influence.
How can you be immediately more influential at home, at work and in your communities?
The world’s most successful people are incredibly influential. Influential people tend to have these things in common in the way they influence the people around them.
They Influence How We Think
Great influencers share how they think about certain topics. Notice that I used the word how and not what. These influencers are well versed in sharing how to think about problems and opportunities alike. Their articulation of sharing how they think influences us in a way that inspires us to follow them and believe in them.
They Challenge Us to Stretch
One way someone can influence us is by challenging us. I think we can all agree that we have had some significant events thus far in 2020. Even those of us who are normally quiet and complacent have had our attention and energies mobilized by the challenges we are facing in the pandemic and racial unrest. We’ve had to stretch our knowledge, increase our skills (ZOOM anyone?), and raise our abilities to meet these new demands in our lives. Mobilizing people to rise to the challenge is a skill of influence.
They Become Role Models
The know, like and trust factor plays a huge part in your ability to influence. Who you are, how you show up in life, and your actions must be congruent and in integrity to your words, values and principles. Simply put, people are watching you, even when you think they are not. How you react or respond to challenges, your resilience, your compassion and authenticity, have a huge impact on those you mean to influence. What all that’s going on in the world today, we see more conflict than influence. The behaviors being modeled by our leaders, are inciting more conflicts than resolutions.
What can you do when the world is so big, and you are a small part of it? You have the ability to cause a ripple effect from your little corner of this world.
Be Better. Do Better. So that we all can HAVE Better.
Learn how to have those intimate, meaningful conversations in a way that is open to listening, learning and feeling heard. It all starts with WHO you are being in your communication. HOW you are listening in your conversations. WHAT actions are you demonstrating in integrity to your values.
Influence is like little droplets in your life. First, you get to be clear in your intention. Second, be in committed action. Third, have the courage to stand up for yourself and others. And last, learn how to communicate in a way that fosters connection so that you can have greater influence.
Eva Medilek, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Eva Medilek is a Certified High-Performance Coach and a Relationship Success Coach. She has coached both men and women in the areas of personal development, leadership and mastering habits for success. She specializes in helping powerful, successful women have happier, healthier, more intimate connections in their relationships without giving up their power. Eva knows firsthand how a driven personality type can leave you feeling lonely, disappointed, frustrated and resentful. You can achieve higher levels of success without sacrificing your health, well-being and relationships. She uses her personal experiences along with her leadership, transformational and high performance training to teach you the pillars of high performance as well as showing you how to communicate in a way that fosters intimacy, influence and connection in your personal and professional life. High performance is succeeding consistently over the long term while maintaining a healthy life full of positive emotions and relationships.