Tips to Build Meaningful Connections That Truly Last, and Faster Than You Think
- 4 days ago
- 5 min read
Updated: 3 days ago
Written by Georgina Smith, Founder of Share-A-Table
Georgina, Founder, Share-A-Table.com, is a global adventurer, experience designer, and firm believer that the right conversation at the right moment can change your life. Share-A-Table is my way of making those moments happen for you.
In today's bustling cities, making new friends, finding new professional contacts (through coworking spaces), or finding an intimate partner in cities where everyone seems so terribly busy has become incredibly daunting. Knowing where and how to start is tricky, choosing where to start is a game in itself. It's also backed by our own preconceived ideas: What does this say about me?
What's more, in January 2025, the FT reported that there is a global recession in relationships. A global one. And as you can imagine, the FT did a superb job, as it's backed by tremendous amounts of global data. So, it’s fair to say it's a pretty robust conclusion.
What’s driving this downward trend? There is one leading, resounding, and deafening trend: smartphones, increased use of social media, and the upward advancement of female empowerment. These are all contributing to the deep global recession in intimate relationships. We can't blame men nor women; it’s a combined effort. Our shared withdrawal from community life is quietly unraveling the social fabric that holds us together.
So, you've decided you want to expand your social or work circle, and perhaps you wish to speed it up, gamify it a little, to guarantee your time and effort pay off.
Yet, this is how it's currently working:
You are constantly switching between deciding whether it's going to be alcohol-led, sports-led, work-led, through dates, through other friends, a workshop, or via a new (undetermined) hobby…
Meaning your efforts are scattered and fragmented, and you feel you're having very little success at creating new and meaningful connections that lead to quality acquaintances, friendships, and/or relationships…
You return to your safer routines and safer habits, keeping your world small.
Yet, whatever activity you choose, understanding how you can get better at building deeper connections (faster) ensures your efforts pay off... far quicker.
We’ve therefore researched some tips for you. They are, of course, backed by scientific and world-class research, and we would like to acknowledge and thank Dr. Marisa G. Franco and all her hard work. Without her years of dedication and research around this very topic, we simply would not have the scientific insight into what you or I need to do better to create lasting and meaningful relationships (and improve your success once you find people that you genuinely want to bring into your circle).
Below, we have summarized some of her advice and insights for you.
First of all, let's understand the science and why having a thriving social network is as important as a balanced diet, a robust fitness regime, and a healthy bank account.
What the science states is that creating a diverse, socially integrated network will not only bring quality relationships into your life, it will make you far happier and healthier. Those with a large social network and sense of community reduce their mortality risk by 45%! So, it needs real work to keep it alive and thriving, yet the benefits are always guaranteed to pay off.
You are not alone in thinking you're the 'only one'
What’s more, we are all individually swimming against a changing tide: compared to 30 years ago, friendship networks have actually decreased four times for women and five times for men. So, believe us when we say, it's not an "individual personality thing" or a "poor me" thing.
At the moment, our cities and our work-life structures are not designed to help you actively build or top up your social network.
In recent years, as we all know, our normal institutional structures have changed: marriage, work structures (remote/hybrid work and frequent job changes), family structures, etc. Housing, with the change in the mix of long-term homeowners and renters, in global cities, has been switched up with Airbnb models. The digitalization of our lives, from shopping to the gym, has also contributed. The super-flexible ClassPass you enjoy, giving you access to thousands of places across the city, will in fact reduce your chances of connecting, as your chances of seeing the same people regularly are now fractionalized.
These structural changes combine and directly impact how we organically and naturally build, nurture, and refresh our social networks. We are all swimming against the tide, so to speak, making it harder for everyone. Yet, there’s help on hand.
Follow these 10 tips to build meaningful connections faster and more successfully
First of all, if you believe friendships should happen without effort and organically, you'll, in fact, be far lonelier in five years' time. Friendships take effort (and vulnerability is key, sharing equally our human messiness makes you more human and likable!)
Forget this myth: you either click or you don't. It's nonsense. Sure, chemistry between people is important, yet it can also lead you astray. What we're trying to do is help you create a broad and integrated social network so there is a deeper network of support, laughter, new adventures, and possibilities that are right for you.
The liking gap: people underestimate how much others, even strangers, actually like them. Assume people like you more than you think (this will help you connect and also re-connect).
Be aware of your rejection sensitivity: when we think we may be rejected (by someone), we in fact increase our chances of being rejected, as we end up subconsciously rejecting people (see below as to why).
Acceptance prophecy: assume people will like you. This helps you come across as more approachable, friendlier, warmer, and open to an exchange.
Overt/covert avoidance: meaning YES! simply accept that initially, there will be social awkwardness in most new situations, AND when you're with people, SHOW UP! Don’t check out by being distracted by your phone or being half-engaged in a conversation...
The beautiful mess effect: it doesn't mean creating drama wherever you go; it means being open to share your deeper thoughts and vulnerabilities, connecting on a more meaningful level. It helps build trust and understanding.
Exposure: meeting someone once is not enough. Meeting many times means new people become more familiar to us, and this increases "likeness and familiarity" on both sides.
Try something for 2-3 months before switching. You also need to get used to a new environment. You need to become comfortable, and that takes time. Going once to an event and not returning increases your failure rate and will impact your self-esteem and confidence.
Affection predicts friendships: how you treat people pays off, giving compliments, affirmations, listening, turning up in key moments (for the highs and the lows), initiating contact, and making them feel they matter. All of this will have a huge impact on the quality of your friendships (and relationships) you'll bring into your life.
Just remember, these tips and tiny changes can change the course of your life. New connections and new friends promise to bring you new possibilities and different paths (and you for them, of course!).
Read more from Georgina Smith
Georgina Smith, Founder of Share-A-Table
From Melbourne to Amsterdam, Georgina Smith has lived, traveled, and designed unforgettable event experiences across the globe. She knows firsthand that one serendipitous connection can change everything. That's the magic she's bottling with Share-A-Table, a platform built on being in the right place, at the right time, with the right people.
