The To-Be List – How One List Can Shape Your Entire Life Without Adding a Single Task

Written by Andie Simon, Breathwork Coach

Andie Simon is known for one outcome: quieting mental noise, so focus, clear decisions, and sustainable performance become natural again. Only using the breath as a tool applied exactly when performance, recovery, and longevity matter, she works online or at in-person events & retreats in Europe.

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Most people don't repeat the same year because they lack motivation. They repeat it because they keep trying to change their actions without changing their identity. You can write the perfect plan, set ambitious goals, and still fall back into the same patterns the moment pressure rises. If you've ever felt that familiar frustration, the issue isn't your willpower. It's your baseline. In this article, I'll show you why traditional planning often gets lost under stress, why a To-Be list is more powerful than a to-do list, and how one simple shift in approach can shape your entire life without adding a single task to your schedule.

A 60-second reset before you read

Before you keep reading, you can try a short breathing exercise so this article doesn't become another tab you forget.

Inhale through the nose for 4 seconds. Exhale through the mouth for 6 seconds. Repeat for six to eight breaths.

A stressed brain scrolls. A calm brain learns. Now that the noise has settled slightly, let's look at why most planning doesn't last.

Why to-do lists cost you more than they give

Most planning happens after stress. A hard project. A health scare. A season of overwhelm. You sit down and promise yourself: never again. So you do what we've all been trained to do. You make a new list.

But here's what that list actually costs you: more unfocused energy scattered across tasks, more exhaustion from doing things that don't move the needle. And the worst part, when pressure rises, the list disappears anyway. You cannot build a consistent life on a nervous system that lives in survival mode. Most people try anyway. They force themselves into new habits, new goals, and new routines, and then blame themselves when they can't sustain them.

The truth is, if your baseline is self-doubt, you hesitate. If your baseline is people-pleasing, you say yes when you mean no. The list didn't fail you. Your internal state did. So the smarter question isn't "How do I do more?", it's "What state do I need to live in, so I stop repeating the same year?" That is why, instead of creating yet another to-do list, we should start building our To-Be list.

What a To-Be list is and why it works

A To-Be list flips the whole approach. Instead of asking “What do I need to do next?”, you ask “Who do I want to become?”

It's not affirmations. It's not a vision board. It's a short list of internal standards you choose to live from, especially when things get hard. Three to five qualities that define the person you want to be, in any situation. Your brain is wired to act in line with how you see yourself.

Change the story, and the behavior follows. This matters more than you think. When you keep living from your old identity, it doesn't just affect your productivity. It affects your relationships. Your peace. The example you set for the people watching you. Every day you stay the same is a day you teach yourself that change isn't possible. And that belief has a cost you'll feel for years.

Why I stopped chasing to-dos

I used to think the answer was better goals. Clearer plans. Filling my day with more tasks. But no matter how many lists I made, I kept falling back into the same patterns. Stressed.

Reactive. Saying yes when I meant no. Back when I was employed as a team lead in a big company, I wanted to show up differently.

Be a better leader. So I sat with that. I had already started with breathwork back then and decided to do a breathwork session to let go of all the noise and finally get clear on who I wanted to become. I imagined the version of me who already was that new leader. I wrote down three words: confident, clear, inspiring.

That became my To-Be list. Instead of forcing new tasks, I started practicing my day through the lens of this identity. Short breathing techniques helped me whenever I noticed I would fall back into my old patterns. It could be a few conscious breaths before a meeting or a quick box-breathing reset when I felt triggered. The more I practiced reacting differently than my old self, the easier it became to step into my new role. This shift from doing to being became the foundation of how I work with clients today.

Why clarity comes when you slow down

Your brain has different speeds. When you're stressed, rushed, or overthinking, your brain runs fast. When your inner critic is loud, you doubt yourself. You react instead of respond.

I spent years in that state. Always planning, always pushing, always in my head. I thought clarity would come from doing more. It didn't. Breathwork helps you slow down. Not a few deep breaths. A full hour of intentional breathing.

I remember sitting there, eyes closed, the room quiet. At first, my mind was loud, jumping from thought to thought. But somewhere around the thirty-minute mark, something shifted. It suddenly became very quiet in my mind, like someone slowly turning down the volume. And in that stillness, I could finally hear myself.

During such a session, your body begins to use more oxygen than usual. Your nervous system shifts. Your brain moves from that fast, stressed state into slower theta brainwaves (similar to hypnosis). That's the state where your inner critic finally shuts up. Now imagine what outstanding ideas can finally get your full attention, once the noise is gone: your next big move, your real priorities, your future self, ready to finally be heard.

That's what happened to me. I wasn't trying to figure anything out. I just gave my mind room to settle. And when it did, the clarity was already there. You're not just breathing to relax.

You're breathing to think clearly. To choose intentionally. To become who you want to be.

How to create your own To-Be list

Here are the steps that make this simple and practical.

Step 1: Meet your future self

Close your eyes and picture the version of yourself you want to become. Not someday. This year. How does that person carry themselves? How do they respond when things get hard? How do they make decisions?

Now imagine standing face to face with that future self, one year from now. This version of you has stopped repeating old patterns. They respond differently under pressure. They trust themselves. They've changed not what they do, but how they show up.

Step 2: Name who you want to be

What three to five words describe that person? Write them down. Not goals. Not achievements. Traits. Maybe it's grounded, clear, kind, focused, or brave. These are your To-Be qualities.

Now ask yourself: what's the gap between who I am today and who I want to be? That gap is your work. No more tasks. Just closing the distance between your current self and your future self, one moment at a time.

Step 3: Breathe into your new self

The old you shows up in familiar moments. When you're rushed. Stressed. Triggered. When someone pushes a button. When pressure rises, and your body wants to react the old way.

This is exactly when you practice being the new you. When you feel that pull toward old patterns, take a minute before you react. Inhale through the nose for 4 counts. Exhale through the mouth for 6 counts. Repeat three times.

Then ask yourself: how would my future self respond right now?

Let the breath create space between the trigger and your reaction. That space acts like a reminder that this is not you anymore. There is another you now that acts differently. The more you practice, the more your new self becomes your default self.

Why one list can shape your entire life

A To-Be list becomes your filter. Your brain naturally filters for what you've decided matters. When you define who you want to be, you start noticing opportunities to be that person.

Before you commit to anything, you check if it fits your new identity. Before you say yes, you see if it feels aligned with your new future. Before you push harder, you examine first if it brings you closer to your goal. This reduces decision fatigue because you stop negotiating with yourself all day.

You are not relying on motivation, you are relying on identity. And this creates alignment across work and life because the same internal standards guide your decisions everywhere.

One list can shape your entire life because it changes your starting state. If you want to explore this further, check out my upcoming events.

A breathing reset to lock in your To-Be list

Inhale through the nose for 4 seconds. Hold your breath for a count of 6. Exhale through the mouth for 8 seconds. Repeat for one to two minutes.

While breathing, read your To-Be list slowly. Let your body associate calm and clarity with those words. Every time you do this, you rewire your brain with new neurological pathways to associate your To-Be list with calm instead of anxiety.

Start your journey today

You don't need another list of things to do. You need a different starting state. If you're ready to stop planning under pressure and start living from clarity, you can start with a free 6-minute guide that helps you gain clarity before any decision. So, who are you becoming today?

Follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info!

Read more from Andie Simon

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Andie Simon, Breathwork Coach

Andie Simon works at the intersection of mental performance & longevity. Instead of adding more techniques or mindset strategies, she focuses on the most direct lever we have, the breath. Her work helps entrepreneurs, executives, and performance-driven individuals quiet mental noise, think clearly, recover faster, and protect their performance over time, not just in the moment. Her mission: make mental clarity and longevity practical, sustainable, and immediately usable.