Written by: Andrée Funnell, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
In 1995, psychologist and science journalist Daniel Goleman published a book introducing the concept of Emotional Intelligence. EI, as it is known, is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions while understanding the emotions, feelings and behaviors in others. Being Emotionally Intelligent increases our ability to influence others to a greater degree, develop sustainable relationships, become authentic and achieve success.
Below are 12 actions/behaviors that illustrate how emotional intelligence appears in the real world.
1. You think about feelings.
Emotional intelligence begins with what is called self- and social awareness, the ability to recognize emotions (and their impact) in both yourself and others. That awareness starts with your ability to self-reflect and ask questions like:
What are my emotional strengths? What are my weaknesses?
How does my current mood affect my thoughts and decision making?
What's going on under the surface that influences what others say or do?
2. Think before you speak – take a pause
The ability to pause and think about what you will say and the actions you will display is important. However, this is difficult to do due to the fact that when we are in a high state of emotion, we don't think, we do. Pausing can help save you from embarrassing moments or from making commitments too quickly. In other words, pausing helps you refrain from making a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion.
3. You strive to control your thoughts.
You don't have much control over the emotion you experience in a given moment. But you can control your reaction to those emotions-by focusing on your thoughts. By striving to control your thoughts, you resist becoming a slave to your emotions, allowing yourself to live in a way that's in harmony with your goals and values.
4. You benefit from constructive feedback
Nobody enjoys negative feedback. But you know that constructive feedback, sometimes delivered as criticism, is a chance to learn. Even if you believe it’s unfounded, it gives you insight into how others think and feel about you. When you receive negative feedback, you keep your emotions in check and ask yourself: What can I do to improve myself?
5. You show authenticity.
Authenticity doesn't mean sharing everything about yourself, to everyone, all of the time. It does mean saying what you mean, meaning what you say, and sticking to your values and principles above all else. It means being true to yourself and genuine.
6. You demonstrate empathy.
The ability to show empathy includes understanding others' thoughts and feelings, helps you connect with them. Empathy is about being able to put yourself in other people's shoes and being able to see something from their perspective. It doesn't mean agreeing with the other person's point of view. It's about understanding their viewpoint.
7. You recognize others' contributions
All of us crave acknowledgment and appreciation. When you give praise and feedback to others, you satisfy that innate craving and this builds trust and deeper relationships.
8. You apologize
It takes strength and courage to be able to say you're sorry and avoid appealing to your ego. But doing so demonstrates humility, a quality that will naturally draw others to you. Apologizing does not necessarily mean that you are wrong; it just means that you value the relationship more than stroking your ego.
Hanging on to resentment is bad for your relationships and health. If you continue to hold on to the resentment, you never give yourself a chance to heal and move on. Not allowing yourself to let go means that your emotions are holding you hostage.
10. Honour your commitments
How many times do you find yourself being let down by others and how frustrating can it be? Being authentic and true to your values means that you are more likely to honor your commitments for the sake of your relationship(s) and helps build a strong reputation for being trustworthy and reliable and a true friend/colleague.
11. Take time out to help others
One of the greatest ways to positively impact the emotions of others is to help them. When we are at our busiest, that’s often the time that others ask you to help them. If you value the relationship, then take time out of your busy schedule to listen or help them.
It’s been a surreal 2020 with many of you working from home. Perhaps you have had more time on your hands than usual. If that is the case, take some quality time out to think about your life and those around you. If you want to be more ‘Emotionally Intelligent’ then it’s not to late to take action to change the way you think feel and behave.
Live life to the full. Tomorrow is a new day. What’s stopping you from becoming more Emotionally Intelligent, live authentically and be fulfilled, successful and happy in your future life.
Call me today and book yourself a 30 minute ‘Breakthrough Discovery session’ to find out how to become Emotionally Intelligent. My contact details are below.
Andrée Funnell, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Andrée is a multi- award winning Coach, Learning & Development consultant, best-selling author and speaker, who is the founder and driving force behind the success of Aspiring Future Competence (AFC). Since its inception in 2002, AFC has helped clients across a wide range of business sectors to get visible, get heard and get ahead by applying inspirational ways to bring about positive change and empowerment. She has over 20 years HR & training experience working in corporate organisations and a further 18 years delivering development solutions that make a difference to people’s careers and lives. She is a qualified coach, professional trainer and NLP Practitioner. She discovered that Authenticity is the key to happiness, fulfillment and success and is keen to get the message out there to others. ‘Behind the Mask’ is Andrée’s literary debut about ‘Authenticity’. It’s an essential interactive step by step guide to turning your life around and achieving the kind of life you deserve by living authentically.