The Organisation That Learned to Pause – How Silence Shapes Smarter Leadership Across Cultures
- Brainz Magazine
- Oct 10
- 6 min read
Updated: 6 days ago
Written by Lindy Lelij, Founder of Mpowerme Coaching
Lindy Lelij is the founder of Mpowerme Coaching. With more than 30 years of leadership and international experience, she helps people navigate migration, cultural transitions, and identity to thrive personally and professionally.
In a fast-paced world where communication often centers on speed and volume, the power of silence is frequently overlooked. Yet, when understood and intentionally used, silence can become one of the most potent tools in leadership and cross-cultural communication. In this article, Lindy Lelij, Personal Performance Coach and Mentor, delves into the transformative role silence plays in fostering clarity, connection, and emotional intelligence, especially within diverse cultural contexts. Discover how embracing silence can enhance decision-making, collaboration, and leadership across borders.
Understanding the hidden power of silence
In coaching, leadership, and everyday communication, silence is often misunderstood. For some, it signals uncertainty or disengagement, for others, it communicates respect, reflection, or emotional depth. Yet, across cultures and workplaces, silence can be one of the most potent, and least used, tools for connection and clarity.
In my work as a Personal Performance Coach, I see silence emerge in almost every session. Often, clients are surprised to discover how their pauses, or those of their colleagues, carry meaning far beyond words. Recognising these differences and learning how to work with them can transform communication, relationships, and decision-making at every level of an organisation.
Silence across cultures
Across cultures, the meaning of silence shifts in subtle but significant ways.
You might say that silence, like any language, has “dialects.” In some East Asian contexts, for example, a thoughtful pause reflects wisdom and respect, a signal that the listener is deeply considering what has been said. In many Western or Latin cultures, however, silence may feel uncomfortable, interpreted as hesitation or as a lack of engagement.
Then there are the hybrid contexts, for example, in multicultural workplaces and virtual teams, where these dialects meet. What one person interprets as reflection, another experiences as withdrawal. What feels like respectful space to one may feel like an uncomfortable void to another.
For anyone working in multicultural settings, developing fluency in this non-verbal language can mean the difference between miscommunication and mutual respect.
Silence as an opportunity for presence
The principles I use with clients, noticing, naming, and normalising silence, are just as powerful in organisational environments as they are in one-on-one coaching. When leaders learn to hold space intentionally, they begin to see silence not as an absence but as an opportunity for presence.
Noticing silence
Noticing silence starts with awareness, of both self and others.
What happens in your body when a conversation pauses? Do you tense up, lean back, or rush to fill the gap? And what do you observe in others? A quiet moment accompanied by relaxed posture and steady eye contact might indicate reflection, while folded arms or downward glances might suggest discomfort or disagreement.
By learning to notice these subtleties, the energy of a pause, not just its duration, leaders can begin to read the emotional climate of a room. This attunement forms the foundation of cultural and emotional intelligence.
Naming silence
Naming silence is the act of bringing it into awareness. Rather than avoiding it, we acknowledge it, gently and without judgment.
In coaching, I might say, “I notice there’s a stillness here, what’s happening for you right now?” In leadership meetings, it could sound like, “Let’s take a moment before responding,” or “I sense we’re reflecting, let’s give this some space.”
By naming silence, we make the unspoken visible. It reassures those who find silence uncomfortable and honours those who need time to think. It also communicates confidence, that you can hold a moment without rushing to fill it.
Normalising silence
Normalising silence is where true transformation happens. When teams and leaders learn that pauses are not mistakes but moments of presence, they begin to relax into them. Discussions deepen. Ideas are more thoughtfully considered. Over time, silence becomes part of the group’s rhythm, a shared, trusted space for thinking rather than tension.
The organisation that learned to pause
In The Netherlands, I once worked with an executive leadership team from a global company in the wellness industry known for its hierarchical structure and fast-paced attitude. Their meetings were efficient but intense, quick decisions, strong opinions, minimal reflection.
During a four-day leadership retreat in Jamaica, we held workshops with a diverse team representing Europe, North America, Canada, and the Caribbean. However, communication styles sometimes clashed. Quieter members hesitated to contribute ideas, while more vocal participants dominated discussions. The result, decisions were being made rapidly, but not always wisely.
Until we introduced a simple experiment, “the reflective minute.” After any key presentation or proposal, the teams would observe a minute of collective silence before responding. No phones, no side conversations, just stillness.
At first, it felt awkward. Some glanced at their watches, others fidgeted or smiled nervously. But gradually, something shifted. People began to settle. The silence allowed ideas to breathe. When the discussion resumed, contributions were more balanced and thoughtful because, when silence was understood as a language with many dialects, it became a tool of connection rather than confusion.
And then, gradually, the teams noticed remarkable changes.
Decision quality improved: fewer reactive choices, more strategic thinking.
Participation widened: quieter members spoke up more frequently.
Tension eased: meetings felt calmer and more collaborative.
What started as an experiment became a leadership habit. The team adopted the reflective minute at the start and end of key meetings, using it to ground themselves and clarify intent. One senior executive reflected, “We didn’t lose time, we gained perspective.”
That one minute of collective silence became a cultural anchor, a visible sign of respect, inclusion, and mindfulness in action.
The cross-cultural lens
What made this practice powerful wasn’t the pause itself, but its shared understanding. For leaders from cultures where silence was already valued, it felt natural. For others used to fast dialogue, it became an intentional discipline.
By naming and normalising silence, the team created a bridge between communication styles. Instead of silence being a source of confusion or discomfort, it became a unifying language, a neutral ground where everyone had time to think and be heard.
This is what cross-cultural coaching aims to cultivate, not sameness, but awareness. When people understand the meaning behind each other’s communication patterns, verbal or silent, collaboration deepens.
The takeaway
Silence, when consciously used, is not the opposite of communication, it’s part of it. It invites reflection, signals respect, and allows emotional intelligence to flourish. For coaches, it’s a mirror that reveals what’s unspoken. For leaders, it’s a strategic tool that builds clarity and trust. In a world that rewards noise and speed, silence may seem counterintuitive. But those who can hold a pause, and read what’s within it, often lead with greater wisdom.
When we learn to notice, name, and normalise silence, we create the conditions for deeper dialogue, cultural understanding, and better decision-making. And perhaps, most importantly, we remind ourselves that leadership isn’t only about having the right answers, it’s also very much about creating the space where the best answers can emerge.
In a world where voices compete to be heard, learning to understand silence might be one of the most powerful leadership skills of all. When we pause long enough to truly listen, to ourselves, to others, and to what remains unspoken, we create space for clarity, empathy, and authentic connection across cultures.
I invite you to connect with me here.
Together, we can uncover the deeper conversations that lead to real change, one mindful pause at a time.
Read more from Lindy Lelij
Lindy Lelij, Founder of Mpowerme Coaching
With Māori and European heritage, Lindy knows firsthand what it means to live between cultures. She spent over four decades abroad before returning “home” to Aotearoa New Zealand.
Today, as founder of Mpowerme Coaching, Lindy helps people navigate migration, cultural transition, and identity. Through positive psychology, deep journaling, energetic tuning, and narrative reframing, Lindy offers clients practical tools for growth and resilience.
Backed by more than 30 years of leadership, governance and business experience across Health, governance and international trade, she brings both professional expertise and lived wisdom to her work.
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