The 13 Paradoxes of Life and A Guide to Dancing with Life’s Contradictions
- Brainz Magazine
- Jan 24
- 6 min read
Written by Pritesh Lohar, Executive Contributor
Dr. Pritesh Lohar, MD, FACP, is a Board Certified Medical Oncologist. He is also a Mindvalley certified life coach and a six-phase meditation trainer. He is the Founder and CEO of the School of Mindset Coaching.
Life is strange. Just when you think you've cracked the code, life hits you with a paradox so baffling that you’re left scratching your head like a first-time Sudoku player. But instead of resisting these contradictions, maybe it’s time we embraced them. After all, life’s paradoxes are like spicy food—uncomfortable at first, but ultimately, they add flavor to the experience.
Let’s dive into the 13 paradoxes of life and explore their truths with a mix of humor, insight, and maybe a few head-tilts of disbelief.
1. The more you want something, the less likely you are to have it
Ah, desire. The seductive, needy toddler inside us screaming, “I want that!” But here’s the kicker: the harder you grip onto that dream job, love interest, or parking spot near the entrance, the more it seems to wriggle away.
Why? Because desperation is not a good look. Want that dream job? Show it you’re cool and chill. Want that special someone? Stop acting like you’ll propose during your first coffee date. The universe has its own timeline, and it rewards those who loosen the leash.
Lesson: Want it, but don’t suffocate it.
2. The less you care about others, the less you care about yourself
Self-care is trendy these days. Spa days, bubble baths, and avocado toast seem to be the solution to everything. But here’s the paradox: if you neglect others in the pursuit of “me time,” you start to feel oddly… empty. Why? Because humans are wired to connect.
Caring for others isn’t just an act of kindness; it’s an act of self-preservation. Helping someone else unlocks a part of you that reminds you of your own humanity. So yes, care about others, but don’t forget to share your avocado toast.
Lesson: Self-care and other care go hand in hand, like yin and yang or Netflix and snacks.
3. The more you fear a negative, the less likely it is that the positive will manifest
Fear has the power to turn a sunny day into a thunderstorm of worry. Ever tried skiing and been so terrified of falling that you fell? That’s fear playing its cruel little game. It’s like the universe hears your thoughts and goes, “Oh, you don’t want to trip? Watch this.”
Fear is a magnet for the things you’re trying to avoid. But if you shift your mindset, focusing on what could go right, you suddenly become a magnet for success instead of disaster.
Lesson: Fear less, manifest more. And if you fall while skiing, laugh it off. At least you tried.
4. The more concerned you are about a problem, the less connected you become to the solution
Picture this: You’re frantically trying to untangle your earbuds, and the more you yank, the worse it gets. That’s life’s way of saying, “Chill out, buddy.” Obsessing over a problem blinds you to creative solutions.
Take a breath, step back, and let the solution reveal itself. Sometimes, the answer isn’t in the frantic pulling; it’s in the gentle unraveling.
Lesson: Don’t wrestle with the problem, waltz with it instead.
5. The less you trust something, the more untrustworthy it becomes
Suspicion is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Imagine you don’t trust your partner, so you start snooping through their texts. This makes them feel uneasy, which leads to tension, which leads to… well, you get the picture. Trust is like Jenga: pull out one piece, and the whole tower collapses.
On the flip side, trusting something (or someone) fosters reliability. Trust breeds trust, while suspicion breeds chaos.
Lesson: Trust is the foundation of stability. Don’t let paranoia bulldoze it.
6. The more you learn, the more you realize how little you know
This one’s for all the overachievers out there. Remember when you thought you’d “mastered” life at age 18? Then you learned more and realized, “Oh no, I know absolutely nothing.” Welcome to the club.
True wisdom lies in humility. The more you dive into knowledge, the bigger the ocean seems. But hey, at least you’ve got a cool little boat now.
Lesson: Embrace the endless learning curve. Life is one big, messy pop quiz.
7. The more complete you feel through someone or something, the less complete you feel within
Relationships, careers, and possessions are great, but relying on them for your sense of worth? That’s a slippery slope. It’s like trying to fill a leaky bucket with water—no matter how much you pour in, it’ll never feel full.
Completeness comes from within. So yes, love your partner and enjoy your job, but don’t forget to build your own inner foundation. You’re the cake; they’re just the frosting.
Lesson: Frosting is great, but don’t forget to bake the cake first.
8. The more you’re afraid to fail, the more likely you are to fail
Fear of failure is like a giant stop sign in your brain. It paralyzes you, making you overthink every move until you’re standing still, accomplishing nothing. Ironically, the best way to avoid failure is to embrace it.
Failure is the unpaid intern of success. It teaches you things you’d never learn otherwise. So go ahead, mess up. You’re in good company.
Lesson: Fail fast, fail often, and keep moving forward.
9. Gaining control lies in your ability to let go of it
This one sounds like it came straight out of a Zen master’s playbook. But it’s true: the harder you try to control every detail, the more out of control life feels.
Letting go doesn’t mean giving up. It means trusting the process, the people around you, and yourself. Ironically, that’s when you gain real control – the kind that comes from peace, not panic.
Lesson: Sometimes, you have to lose the reins to steer the carriage.
10. The more you try to impress people, the less impressed they’ll be
Ah, the social paradox. The harder you try to be cool, the less cool you appear. It’s like showing up to a casual BBQ in a tuxedo – completely over the top, my friend.
Genuine confidence is magnetic. People aren’t impressed by flashy shoes or rehearsed jokes. They’re impressed by authenticity, so stop trying so hard and just be you.
Lesson: Authenticity is the ultimate flex.
11. The more available something is, the less you will want it
Scarcity is the secret sauce of desire. Think about it: why are limited-edition sneakers and sold-out concerts so appealing? Because they’re hard to get.
Abundance, on the other hand, breeds indifference. It’s why no one gets excited about air or tap water until they’re gone. Appreciate what’s abundant while it’s there.
Lesson: Gratitude turns the ordinary into the extraordinary.
12. The only certainty is that nothing is ever certain
If life were a board game, it’d be “Snakes and Ladders.” Just when you think you’re climbing up, boom, a snake sends you sliding down. Certainty is an illusion, and that’s what makes life exciting.
Embrace uncertainty. It’s the spice of life, the plot twist that keeps things interesting. Sure, it’s scary, but it’s also what makes every day an adventure.
Lesson: Stop seeking certainty; start seeking adaptability.
13. The only constant is change
If you’re waiting for life to “settle down,” I have bad news: it never will. Change is the only constant, the river that never stops flowing. But here’s the good news, you’re built to adapt.
Instead of fighting change, learn to ride the wave. Every ending is a new beginning in disguise, and every twist in the road leads to new opportunities.
Lesson: Change is inevitable; surf it, don’t sink in it.
Final thoughts: Embrace the dance of paradoxes
The 13 paradoxes of life aren’t meant to frustrate you; they’re meant to free you. They remind us that life isn’t black and white, it’s a messy, colorful masterpiece of contradictions. And maybe that’s the point. Maybe the beauty of life lies not in solving its paradoxes but in living them.
So, the next time life throws you a curveball, don’t duck. Swing for the fences. Embrace the contradictions, laugh at the absurdities, and remember: the paradoxes of life aren’t here to confuse you; they’re here to complete you.
Pritesh Lohar, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Dr. Pritesh Lohar, MD, FACP, is a Board Certified Medical Oncologist. He is also a Mindvalley certified life coach and a six-phase meditation trainer. He is the Founder and CEO of the School of Mindset Coaching. His goal is to impact as many lives positively as he can by imparting his life experience and coaching skills to others.
