Now or Never – A Laptop, Afiyah, and Me
- Mar 28
- 5 min read
Updated: Mar 31
Autism and disability support isn’t just about care, it’s about understanding, empowerment, and real-life strategies that change lives. Drawing from decades of experience as a CEO, author, and parent, I share insights and practical tools that help families, carers, and professionals navigate challenges with confidence.
This is how it all started. One weekend, it dawned on me... Now or Never! I had been sitting on this for a long time, the method I created at home to toilet train Afiyah. For those who don’t know Afiyah yet, here's a brief description of her.
Afiyah has severe/profound autism (some say level 3), ADHD, severe learning disability, epilepsy, and PICA. Just reading the list of diagnoses Afiyah has, one can only imagine how difficult things must be for her, especially when it comes to understanding her own internal signals, like going to the toilet.
The fact is, the majority of the world doesn’t even know that toilet training an autistic or disabled person is a huge challenge. It’s not a conversation anyone will start whilst chatting with family and friends over coffee or a meal. Neither will this ever be a topic in the news, and mostly parents who have children with autism or disabilities are ashamed to say their child, who is now an adult, age 25, is still in nappies. Parents often feel embarrassed about this, but in reality, it’s not their fault that there hasn’t been a method to toilet train autistic children and adults, especially those who are on the severe side of the spectrum. So, do you see now why it’s not common knowledge that it’s a genuine issue that has hardly been addressed for a long time, yet never been discussed either?
When I wanted to toilet train Afiyah, I went to several professionals, and sadly, I got no answers. Again, the same reason: no one knew how to toilet-train someone who is profoundly autistic. Hence, I decided to take matters into my own hands and created a method to toilet train Afiyah at home during the summer break.
Since I had been working at special schools, I was able to combine both my experiences as a mother and a professional to master this technique. I knew that autistic people thrive on routine, so I created a structured method, followed it rigidly, and achieved success for Afiyah by the end of the summer break.
This was back in the summer of 2017 when Afiyah was 9 years old, and until now, hand on my heart, toilet training has been the most difficult task ever. Afiyah and I have been through many ups and downs, but nothing has been as challenging as toilet training. That said, it has been equally, if not more, rewarding. Seeing your child out of nappies and independent in going to the toilet is the biggest joy for a parent of a child with special needs.
Coming back to how I wrote this book now… sorry I digressed talking about toilet training and the method, but that’s important for the readers to know too.
One weekend, it dawned on me… Now or Never. I created this method, which was successful for Afiyah and also some pupils at the special school I worked at, and now I wanted to share it with the wider world, and what better way than writing a book? It was 2023, and it had been 5 and a half years since I toilet-trained Afiyah, but the method and each step were fresh in my mind as if it were yesterday.
One Saturday, whilst I was watching Afiyah, feeding her, and making sure she’s safe, I decided to open my laptop and start typing. Words flowed, I had the heading of the next chapter ready before I finished the first one, and there was no stopping. All of this whilst I was looking after Afiyah. I was literally chasing Afiyah around the house with my laptop in one hand, typing away as and when I could, whilst meeting Afiyah’s needs. Within one weekend (yes, Saturday and Sunday), I had finished my book. I wasn’t surprised because I had this method engraved in my mind for 5 and a half years. And this is how Afiyah and I began our journey of changing the world.
When I say 'changing the world,' I am not being loose with it. Toilet training an autistic person is changing their world and their family's world, too. There’s also a huge environmental factor. When one child/adult is toilet trained, 5 nappies are saved per day (a conservative figure). Now multiply that by 365 days. That’s 1,825 nappies saved per year when one autistic/disabled person is toilet-trained. Now multiply that by the hundreds who have been trained around the globe since the launch of the book in March 2023. The numbers keep getting bigger each day, and it’s pretty phenomenal.
Even if we don’t look at any figures for now, imagine the dignity we’re giving to someone who isn’t in nappies anymore. I remember changing Afiyah’s nappy on public toilet floors, as toilets don’t have changing beds for anyone older than 3 years old.
The list of benefits of this book is endless, and I’ve got to thank Afiyah for this. If it weren’t for her, we wouldn’t have this book.
This is how it all began, and now we have a multi-award-winning Social Enterprise, the Autism Foundation C.I.C. How one book, written over a weekend whilst caring for an autistic young girl, has changed so many lives and developed into an organisation providing more support. I get goosebumps thinking about how it started and how far we have come.
The Autism Foundation has so much more to offer, especially with our next project to provide high-quality care facilities for autistic and disabled people. You can be part of this legacy by clicking here.
Stay tuned for more real-life stories and empowerment. Until next time, beautiful readers. Stay safe and stay blessed!
Read more from Faria Arsh
Faria Arsh, CEO & Founder of Autism Foundation
Faria Arsh is a multi-award-winning CEO, best-selling author, and international speaker. As Founder of The Autism Foundation, she empowers families, carers, and professionals to support autistic and disabled individuals with confidence, compassion, and real results.
Her work is shaped by personal experience as the mother of a teenage daughter with severe autism, ADHD, and profound learning difficulties. Recognised internationally, including awards in Dubai, Faria is redefining care, inclusion, and empowerment, creating a world where autistic and disabled individuals are understood, respected, and supported to thrive.
