Master Your Emotional Intelligence In Coaching
- Oct 14, 2021
- 4 min read
Updated: Dec 13, 2021
Written by: Adelina Stefan, Senior Level Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Emotional intelligence involves the ability to become self-aware and self-regulate our emotions and actions to interact effectively with those around us. There are several versions of emotional intelligence EI, along with many different definitions and attributes.
Individuals with high level of EI recognize unspoken emotions in others as well as groups, and teams. They demonstrate empathy and strong interpersonal skills. They can acknowledge their own strengths and limitations and are open to new learnings, experiences, and interactions. These individuals are aware of their own emotions and can regulate them as well. This does not mean they hide their true feelings or not be themselves, but rather they act at the right time and express their emotions appropriately, managing disruptive impulses, avoiding judgments, and thinking before acting.
Emotionally intelligent people are more likely to adapt to change, modifying their own behaviour to achieve certain goals when difficulties arise. They are also able to work in various situations with different groups and people, adapting their own approach given the situations at hand. On the other hand, people with low EI may face difficulties in self-controlling their emotions, especially in challenging situations.
How to cultivate EI in coaching?
In a coaching relationship, both parties involved, i.e., the coach and the coachee, can develop emotional intelligence. The coach with a high level of EI will be able to build a strong rapport with the coachees, helping them build awareness so that they can ultimately act on their goals. The person being coached will also be able to develop EI and improve behaviour.
As pointed by Neale, Spenser-Arnell & Liz Wilson in their book “Emotional Intelligence Coaching”, EI plays a crucial role in coaching especially if you have high regard for yourself and others. At the same time, having high EI does not mean that coaches cannot experience emotions, and judgments during the coaching process. As described by Neale, Spenser-Arnell & Liz Wilson, the EI coaches are more “tuned in to their own intuitions and feelings, using them to understand their coachees better while managing any strong emotions they feel themselves during coaching.”
Acing your EI in coaching
Here are some tips to encourage your clients to build self-awareness and self-regulate their emotions:
Use 360 assessments to evaluate individuals’ EI such as ESCI-360 to assess the EI leadership competencies. Debrief the client to identify their desired areas for growth. Support the clients in developing competencies aligned with their goals and objectives. As a leader, encourage employees to engage in conversations with team members, asking soft questions such as: What areas I could improve to be a more cooperative teammate?
Support your client in fostering self-awareness by inquiring into the client’s beliefs and assumptions. Invite them to envision how the ideal future might look like for them and how they would feel in that ideal future. When the client has a negative attitude, help them get back on track and perceive the “failure” as a lesson and opportunity to grow, reframing their attitude with questions such as: “What could you do to successfully (fill in the blank)?”
Resist from giving advice and sole problems. Trying to identify who is responsible for a problem is a waste of time. Rather, use ‘what if’ questions to help the client reflect from a different angle and help them shift in their thinking. By developing emotional self-awareness, your client would be able to recognise their emotional drivers and limitations and be able to move forward.
Invite the client to explore progress, notice their progress and help them designing actions, inquiring about the support they would need and how they will be accountable.
Inspire reflection by asking questions and facilitating an open discussion, whether you are a coach or a leader. Listen for understanding, knowing when and whom to ask in order to carry out a purpose. As stated by the Agile Manifesto, “Value individuals and interactions” by communicating clearly, embracing change, and creating and nurturing truly collaborative interactions.
How Ignite Global’s Professional Coaching Mastery Certification (PCMC) uses EI?
Professional Coaching Mastery Certification Program (PCMC) is a training program designed by Ignite Global to prepare the coach for a paradigm shift and engaging experience.
Ignite Global's PCMC journey is all about enabling the coaches to become highly emotional intelligent coaches. The core of the program evolves around how we can develop our own self-awareness as well as awareness of others to be able to apply emotional intelligence in our coaching engagements.
“Coaching is all about emotions. Before I started my coaching journey, I had a fair understanding of emotional intelligence; however, when I started my learning journey as a Coach with Ignite Global, I was really amazed by how being a Coach meant having the ability to intuitively tap into our clients’ emotions and being extremely perceptive to how they feel after. This understanding has enhanced every area of my life and I have personally benefited from being able to capture emotional intelligence essence through this process.” (Aurawan Sachaphornskul, Ignite Global Graduate)
If you would like to learn more about Ignite Global’s PCMC training, please find more details here: Professional Coaching Mastery Certification
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Adelina Stefan, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Adelina Stefan is a Professional Certified Coach & Intercultural Facilitator specialized in Career Development, with a deep expertise in international HR recruitment and selection and Training and Development. Having worked for 10+ years across cultures, Adelina seeks to catalyze individuals’ potential, helping them create and implement their unique career blueprint and, at the same time, achieve a healthy work-life balance. She specializes in working with expats and mid-to senior-level executives dealing with challenging work environments that can affect both their performance and well-being. She supports organizations in building a corporate coaching culture by highlighting individuals’ maximum potential and engagement so that they become dedicated and highly successful employees. Her practice includes Career, Life, Executive, and Agile Coaching for individuals, as well as developing and implementing corporate Human Resources practices for improving intercultural relations.
