How We Try Is Hard On Our Aging
- Sep 20, 2021
- 4 min read
Written by: Cheryl Whitelaw, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
I work hard. I sit in a local diner, 7:30 am because this is when I can make time to write. To be successful in our work, in our lives, we know we have to work hard.
As an entrepreneur, I am sold with visions of making more money and working less. I know entrepreneurs that are living this dream. But this vision became true only after years of working hard, building the foundation of their business, brick by brick. We believe in the value of a work ethic as a society while we dream of being able to fast-track this investment of effort and time for success.
This idea of working hard is also a socially created habit that impacts how we age.
Imagine you are lifting a suitcase, one that you didn’t pack. You don’t know how heavy the suitcase is. You grab the handle, start to pull up. Besides lifting, you are doing 2 other things as you start the effort. You hold your breath and tighten your muscles. Before you lift, you prepare to lift. This is the trap of effort, of the belief that to succeed we need to try hard. So we prepare to try and how we prepare is to do it hard.
What else can we do?
When you lift a suitcase with just your hands and arms, the effort is localized in those parts. You grasp the handle with your hands, tighten your arm muscles and lift.
We know the phrase, “Lift with your legs.” Lifting with your legs (version 2.0) is to start the effort of lifting by pressing your feet into the ground, using the movement of your pelvis to fuel the lift. Your hands and arms are tethers from the suitcase to your body, to guide the lifting movement, not the workhorses to make it happen. This is an upgrade in body mechanics, in the way you use your body to achieve what you want.
But that’s not what I am talking about.
Rather than focusing on the details of how we lift the suitcase, I want to focus in on how we prepare to try.
When we prepare to try, we hold our breath, tighten our muscles. We harden ourselves to achieve because embedded in our preparation is the fear we will fail.
What if there is another way to achieve?
What if rather than preparing hard to achieve, you lengthened your body? Most suitcases require you to bend a little to lift them, what if you only needed enough effort in your hand and arm to keep a hold of the suitcase? Then the work of lifting comes from lengthening your body to come to standing? It is one option to do the work of lifting the suitcase without trying hard. Just doing it.
I have a client who often asks me, “Isn’t that cheating?”
One of the basic concepts I share with clients is that if someone feels pain in one part of their body, it is because they try hard with some parts of themselves, trying until it hurts to try. When a client learns to lift through length, they are using all of their parts – the trying is distributed. They can achieve with what feels like less effort. They get results with a less costly way of trying.
The trap in trying hard related to aging is a cumulative one. When we follow our habit to try hard, we wear ourselves out with our effort, a little at a time. This trying hard habit gets noticeable around middle age. Often people move less as it gets more and more difficult to try hard.
When I move with an easy way of trying, I have more energy. I can do more when I try easy, not hard. When you age and trying hard feels too costly, it is helpful to get choosier on how you try. And to get curious – how could I do this in a way that is less costly? I plan to go as far and do as much as I can squeeze out of my life. Learning to try easy, rather than hard is a key to the longevity of my passions and continuing to grow as I age. It is not cheating. It is a way to live the dream of getting more results by working less.
Cheryl Whitelaw, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Cheryl is a leader in using movement to improve brain and body performance, reversing the impacts of aging. As a child, Cheryl asked, “If we can do war, how do we do peace?” Her lifelong exploration of that question led her into embedding transformative learning technologies into adult education, coaching, inclusion, and diversity training and supporting people to recover their personal sense of wellness and wholeness after injury and trauma. A devoted practitioner of aikido, Tai Chi, and Feldenkrais, she is committed to her personal evolutionary path to integrate body, mind, and spirit in service of peace in the world. She has coached individuals in private, public, non-profit organizations, unions, and utility companies from over 12 countries around the world. She is a published author in the field of diversity and inclusion and is well regarded for her blog on how our movement can help us create a more potent and peaceful self in the world. Her mission: Move more; react less, and live more fully with no regrets.
