How to Turn Mom Burnout Into Your Biggest Blessing
- Brainz Magazine
- 4 days ago
- 9 min read
Updated: 23 hours ago
Brianna Atkins is an emerging leader in building confidence through movement and simplifying healthy habit building for women. She’s the founder of WOMANLY Health and Fitness, a former NBA dancer, Master of Social Work, and a once burned-out mom turned advocate for balance and strength – both physical and mental.
Burning out as a mom feels defeating, lonely, heartbreaking, and embarrassing, pretty much any negative adjective you can think of. As a woman, you’re conditioned to think that one of your main sources of value comes from your ability to bear children. That notion can induce anxiety, especially for women who don’t feel called to be a mom. However, once you’ve checked that box and have a child, to then admit that becoming a mom was actually too big an undertaking is hard for even the strongest woman. You feel weak because you know millions of women do it every day. You feel alone because talking to someone about it would bring the shame of admitting it out loud. You feel confused because you don’t see a way to fix it.
But the thing about mom burnout?
It’s incredibly common.
Science supports the idea that being a mom is one of the most physically and mentally taxing things a person can do.
Recognizing that you’re burning out and feeling bad about it is a sign that you are, in fact, a caring mother.
Opening up about your feelings of burnout is one of the remedies to help relieve it.
Knowing how and when to ask for help is a skill that people pay to learn, not a weakness.
If someone makes you feel guilty or ashamed for having feelings of burnout, they’re probably not who you want around you anyway.
Becoming a mom highlights deficiencies that many women and men have. Their deficiencies just aren’t manifesting in the form of mom burnout.
Doing the work to recover from your mom burnout will force you to do the work everyone needs to do but often doesn’t do out of fear.
So what exactly is mom burnout?
Mom burnout simplified
According to a study conducted at UCLouvain, mom burnout is “exhaustion as a result of being physically and emotionally overwhelmed by” your role as a mom.[1] Moms often willingly but unintentionally overextend themselves before finding themselves overwhelmed. In other words, they get a little overzealous and do a little too much, then start feeling the repercussions. Moms are then unable to see that help is available to them or they’re reluctant to ask for help.
Symptoms and signs of mom burnout include:
Pulling away emotionally from your kids
Feeling inadequate as a mom
Having the sense that you’re functioning on autopilot
Feeling self-hate
Feeling fear
Feeling shame
Feeling loneliness
Feeling guilt
Physical exhaustion
Emotional exhaustion
The role of COVID-19
Though interest in mom burnout started to increase in the scientific community around 2014,[1] for many, the COVID-19 pandemic brought the topic to the forefront of everyday conversation. During the pandemic, moms spent more time at home with their kids than ever before. Completing work tasks and housework became much more difficult, and the need to social distance enhanced feelings of isolation.[2] Seeking connection and confirmation that other moms were having similar experiences, moms began sharing their stories on social media. The funny, heartwarming, raw moments they shared captured the attention of not just other moms but the world, bringing needed attention to the vital roles that moms play, the importance of protecting moms’ mental health, and the issue of mom burnout.
But without the added stress of a global pandemic, why is mom burnout so common?
Being a modern mom is hard
Studies suggest that well over half of all moms experience symptoms of burnout. That means for every mom you know, there’s at least one other mom who has either experienced or is currently experiencing symptoms of burnout. This is not surprising considering the “public health advisory about the impact of modern stresses on parents' mental health” that the U.S. surgeon general issued last summer.[3]
But why? What’s changed about parenting in recent years?
More work, less balance
According to CBC News, more women are working full-time than ever before, but a large majority of women still take on the brunt of household tasks like cooking, cleaning, and caring for the children.[3] In addition, studies have found that parents are spending as much as double the time with their children each day compared to parents in the 60s.[3] Not only does this increase in together time create more cortisol-spiking moments, it leaves even less time for the term everyone is throwing around these days, self-care.
You might be tired of hearing about self-care, but that doesn’t make it less important. As someone who also used to feel the urge to eyeroll when the term was used, I suggest updating your definition of self-care.
Self-care can be:
Engaging in self-reflection
Spending more time with people who make you feel understood, supported, and like a priority
Removing people, activities, or routines that make you feel small, incapable, subpar, or insecure
Asking for help
Goal setting
Doing something that benefits only yourself
Doing less of something that adds to your stress, anxiety, or feelings of inadequacy
This is a great segue into the next stressor that has been added to parenting in recent years, social media.
The social media effect
While the rise of social media has encouraged global interest in topics like self-care, therapy, and physical fitness, it has also encouraged people to think that life should resemble a highlight reel, and if it doesn’t, that you should make it appear that way. The desire to reach this unattainable goal or the effort to forge a life that isn’t real wears on your psyche. Constantly comparing your life, your problems, and your wins to someone else’s carefully crafted display isn’t just impractical, it’s unhealthy. According to CBC News, “studies have linked comparing your own parenting to what you see on social networking sites with higher rates of maternal depression, higher cortisol levels, and increased envy and anxiety”.[3] And though many people have heard about the dangers associated with social media usage, a reported 5.66 billion social media accounts existed as of October 2025, and 7.8 new users are joining every single second.[4]
From activity recaps with tantrums edited out to daily routines that exclude downtime, blowups, and unfinished tasks, mom content is convincing moms that they’re failing.
So I should quit my job, take a time machine to the 60s, and get off social media? What are my options?
How to recover from mom burnout
Recovering from mom burnout is a gift to yourself, your kids, and anyone else that gets to benefit from the new and improved you. However, it can only be achieved after lots of honesty and lots of discomfort. The sooner you recognize the symptoms of mom burnout and take action to correct them, the easier your recovery journey will be. Here are 5 actionable steps to not just relieve burnout symptoms but help ensure they don’t return.
1. Set boundaries (not the kind you’re used to)
Moms think that always being available for their kids is part of the job, but that is a main reason they are burning out. You are much more than a mom, and you have to allow your life to reflect that. However, focus on boundaries for undisputed uninterrupted time rather than the time you will take alone. Choosing a specific time you can always commit to doing a specific activity with your kids, no phone, no computer, no work, allows everyone to look forward to the time, regardless of how often or how long the time is. The longer you stay committed, the more you establish trust and intention. Times you cannot be present will not feel as significant because you are not always too busy. You will have your uninterrupted quality time.
The same sort of boundary should be arranged to ensure that quality time with a partner is prioritized.
Interestingly, this is the boundary that will benefit your entire family. Why?
Connecting with your partner beyond logistics and parenting promotes emotional intimacy, which can help you navigate stress more effectively. Connecting on a deeper level with your partner also allows you to understand each other better, which can make a big difference in your ability to stick with health goals and achieve balance.
Stepping away from parenting duties, even briefly, allows for a mental and emotional reset. Resetting the clock makes it harder to reach a breaking point, also known as burnout.
Kids learn love and respect from observing how their parents interact. Seeing love and respect between their parents can set a healthy foundation for their own relationships, romantic or otherwise.
2. Prioritize realistic exercise
You know that exercising has great health benefits, but adding exercise into your already busy schedule can seem impossible. Once you accept that exercising just 10 minutes a day helps improve sleep, energy levels, mood, stress levels, heart health, and confidence, the task becomes much more realistic. An exciting bonus is that inevitably, you will start to increase the time and difficulty of your workouts. You just have to start, make it a habit, and your body will adjust.
3. Improve time management (mom edition)
Improving your time management skills is not just about doing more in less time. Often, the mom version of increasing effectiveness, efficiency, and productivity should include cutting activities and commitments that drain you, make you anxious, or provide little value, like watching TV, gossiping, and drinking alcohol, and making more time for things that energize and uplift you, like hobbies you miss, healthy habits you would like to incorporate, and people that support you.
Tip: Creating a visual of everything on your plate allows you to see how you are spending your time and how you could possibly change your routine to better suit your ideal lifestyle.
4. Incorporate mindfulness (by rebuilding identity)
Mindfulness is another term everyone is throwing around these days. It is often referenced in relation to yoga, breathwork, or meditation, which are all practices with great benefits. However, as a mom, being more present and aware of yourself should likely begin with rediscovering who you are. As moms, we often lose ourselves. We get caught up in caring for everyone else, even if that is something we enjoy doing, and fail to nurture parts of ourselves that have nothing to do with anyone but us. Do you know what you truly enjoy these days? Are the things you are thinking of what you want to enjoy or what you used to enjoy? What are your goals? What adjectives currently describe you? Attempting to write lists such as these often reveals harsh truths that inspire you to change and grow.
5. Open communication (and your mind)
Moms cite work-life balance, the pressures of parenting, and social isolation as some of their biggest problems, but often fail to communicate these problems to people in their lives who could help alleviate them. There could be many reasons for this breakdown in communication, one being that effective communication takes more than having the courage to say what is on your mind. Communicating effectively is a skill that also requires active listening, articulation, clarity, respect, gratitude, accountability, perception, focus, and solution-based thinking. Whether you are approaching a conversation with your partner, mom, or best friend:
Enter the conversation with a tangible way they could help you
Speak in a respectful tone
Share that you feel overwhelmed
Thank them for what they already do
Explain how you feel in terms of “I” and not “you”
Respect that they are allowed to disagree with you
Try to view the situation from their perspective
Stay focused on the specific thing you chose to highlight
Stay focused on solving the issue and reaching a solution rather than placing blame or being “right.”
Having open conversations about needs, expectations, and feelings can be uncomfortable, but so are anxiety, depression, and overwhelm. Having the hard conversations leads to feeling understood, supported, and capable, which means less burnout.
Turning mom burnout into your biggest blessing
So how does what once felt like the worst thing that ever happened to you become your biggest blessing? Look at what you have gained. Without feeling burned out as a mom, you may have never found the motivation to:
Lock in undisputed, uninterrupted quality time with your kids that you all look forward to
Regain a connection with your partner that strengthens your bond and teaches your kids love and respect
Improve your sleep, energy levels, mood, stress levels, heart health, and confidence through movement
Remove toxicity and add positivity to your life
Rediscover who you are without kids and a partner
Effectively communicate your needs, expectations, and feelings
Not only are you happier, your kids are happier and your partner is happier. Doing the work to recover from your mom's burnout forced you to do the work everyone needs to do but often does not do out of fear. If you are ready to become the happiest, healthiest version of you yet, join Burnout Recovery Bootcamp today.
Read more from Brianna Atkins
Brianna Atkins, Founder & Women’s Wellness Expert
Brianna Atkins is a leader in building confidence through movement, integrating skill-building into wellness routines, and making healthy living sustainable. Guided by her background in social work, a lifelong passion for dance, and the unexpected journey of nomadic motherhood, she developed strategies to efficiently transform her own mental and physical health. Today, she’s dedicated to helping women rebuild confidence, discipline, and identity through healthy, lasting habits. Brianna is the founder of WOMANLY Health and Fitness – a growing virtual wellness brand supported by a global community of empowered women. Her mission: to help women feel beautiful, strong, and confident – inside and out.
References:
[1] Hubert S and Aujoulat I (2018). Parental Burnout: When Exhausted Mothers Open Up. Front. Psychol. 9:1021. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01021
[2] Seo, J.-H., & Kim, H.-K. (2022). What Is the Burnout of Mothers with Infants and Toddlers during the COVID-19 Pandemic? In Relation to Parenting Stress, Depression, and Parenting Efficacy. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 19(7), 4291.
[3] Stechyson, N. (2023, August 26). Modern parenting is so stressful that the U.S. issued a health advisory. Parents say it's overdue. CBC News.
[4] Kemp, S. (2025, October). Global social media statistics. DataReportal.
