How to Recover Your Self After a Hard Life Transition
- Brainz Magazine
- Jun 19
- 9 min read
Updated: Jun 20
Diana Cantu Kawas is a psychologist, holistic coach, and spiritual leader known for blending ancient healing practices with neuroscience and psychology to help others transform fear into passion and power. She helps creative leaders unlock deeper layers of their true self-identity for success.
In embracing my fears, anger, pain, doubts, and guilt, I learned to turn them into fuel for growth. For some time now, I’ve been using the very things that were supposed to hold me back to propel myself forward. There comes a moment in life when one decides that enough is enough, that it’s time to stop suffering, feeling lost, and forcing oneself into something that's no longer the best fit. It is in this moment of cathartic clarity and genuine conviction when you find yourself in the depths of the darkest hole you unwillingly chose to fall into, after being knocked down repeatedly, that you deliberately decide to step out of the victim role to once again take control of your life. It’s do-or-die trying.
What is a life transition?
When a period of significant change or transformation shows up to disrupt an individual’s life routine, identity, or sense of stability, it is known as a life transition. These changes can be voluntary (like starting a new job, moving to a new country, or becoming a parent) or involuntary (such as divorce, job loss, illness, or the death of a loved one). According to a press release from the American Psychiatric Association (APA), "In 2024, 43% of adults reported feeling more anxious than the previous year. When asked about a list of lifestyle factors potentially impacting mental health, adults most commonly say stress (53%) and sleep (40%) have the biggest impact on their mental health."
Life transitions go beyond simple events; they represent complex psychological journeys. These periods typically bring emotional, cognitive, and even spiritual shifts that influence how individuals perceive themselves and their roles in the world. From a holistic standpoint, such transitions affect the mind, body, and spirit, all of which require nurturing and alignment to support meaningful healing and integration.
What have you been silencing or keeping in the dark about your life
Most of us have endured profound loss and grief throughout our lives, just as we have other emotions, and these experiences have forced us to become a stronger version of ourselves, the hard way, whether by inherited beliefs or by our own unconscious choices.
We live in a world where silencing what happens to us is valued as a strength, so much so that we've forgotten what a loss represents, how to identify emotions when we feel them, and how to be more empathetic with others when they’re facing challenging times.
Luckily, the current trend has urged us to take healthier measures to finally stop running away from ourselves, to reconnect with those dark parts of the Self, those discomforts, sufferings, and fears we've carried for generations, unless we want to reiterate history. In my opinion, vulnerability is a tough choice, yet it always leads to reclaiming your power, and this is exactly why I choose it every day. Now, I’ll take the first step, so you don’t have to.
Not long ago, my divorce marked one of the most challenging chapters for me, a huge life transition. For three long years, I struggled with the loss of my identity, feeling as though my entire life was falling apart and that I was losing more and more control over my own destiny. At that time, I was still newly arrived in Canada: facing the daily challenges of job hunting, living off my savings, trying to relaunch my business (in a foreign country), and salvaging a relationship in crisis, yet nothing seemed to work. My mental health deteriorated as I fell into depression and battled daily anxiety, and even my physical well-being began to suffer. I had come from a mental space where success and ease were my norm for a long time, so this constant struggle felt like an unending series of misfortunes that made me believe less and less in my capacity to move forward.
Accepting the hardest truth to move forward
The hardest truth I was faced with wasn't that my marriage had failed and I had to move on, but rather the self-deception and the fact that I forced myself to hang on to a relationship that wasn't working, even when my entire being was screaming at me to leave.
Facing such daunting circumstances in any life transition can be challenging for anyone, but it's essential to stop running and accept where you are so you don't get stuck in the lie of a person, a project, or a life that stopped working. When you do so, you'll be able to clearly see the options that appear before your eyes.
Foundations for navigating life transitions
In my experience, navigating difficult life transitions often comes down to four pillars: the tools and resources at your disposal, the quality of your support network (friends and family), your past wins, and the successful models of reference you collected throughout the years; but, most importantly, your spirituality (not necessarily religion).
A while back, I shared my standpoint with a colleague and friend who works at an addiction center located in the city of Calgary, Alberta, as I realized that these pillars also apply to those who struggle with various addictions, for whom these areas may be found absent or shaky.
As hard as it may be, I can assure you that as human beings, each of us has the capacity to create the resources we need and to set our ego aside so we can ask for or accept help from others.
In my specific case, I was determined to stay afloat, so I turned to my usual toolbox: meditation, journaling, breathing techniques, yoga, and exercise. I am no stranger to these disciplines; they had been part of my lifestyle for years, but this time, nothing seemed to work. When everything in my life was on fire, I soon felt overwhelmed and exhausted. I understood that facing one challenge at a time was essential to avoid sinking into despair. Being compassionate with myself, taking things slowly, focusing on one step at a time, and trusting my healing capacity became my beacon, yet still, nothing improved.
Steps to reclaim your power
The turning point came for me when a mentor described my behavior in a way that sparked powerful insight in me. At that moment, I decided: “That’s enough! I am not this person. I will not drown in fear or depression because they don’t define me.” And with that declaration, I took the first step toward reclaiming my power. Identifying your turning point can be a powerful foundation, but I would also like to share some steps that have been essential for me and my clients on the path to recovering your self:
1. Interrupt negative mental loops through mind-body integration
Breaking free from the mental prison begins with making intentional choices that lead to different outcomes, all while maintaining a determined mindset. In my experience, initiating change at the bodily level facilitates transformation, as mindful movement fosters a physiological sense of well-being, alleviates stress, and stabilizes the nervous system.
Engaging in practices such as fitness, yin yoga, dancing, or somatic movement, focusing on the internal experience of movement rather than external results, can be a powerful starting point.
In my journey, I chose a simple yet transformative path: committing to daily gym sessions with no excuses. I adopted a more mindful approach to exercise, consciously and consistently cultivating self-awareness by encouraging my body to discover what felt right. There were days I found myself in tears at the gym, but I understood that rescuing myself was solely my responsibility. No one else could do it for me. Each morning, my alarm went off at 5:30 a.m., and despite days when motivation was missing or I felt completely drained, self-discipline played a decisive role. Without letting doubt or my mind take over, I would leap out of bed and, on my way to the bathroom, repeat my power phrase: “I am deserving and ready to receive my new blessings.” Soon, this small act of discipline became the cornerstone of my transformation.
2. Establish healthy boundaries that express respect for yourself
You must understand something: no one will give you what you don’t give to yourself. Until you choose to respect yourself, listening, loving, prioritizing, and keeping promises to yourself, others will continue to treat you as they please, take what they want from you, and you will never be a priority for them. Setting boundaries communicates to both yourself and others what you deserve, how they should behave, and how far they may go, all in a friendly yet firm way that preserves peace and balance.
As I was still sharing the same space with my ex-partner, I decided to set firm boundaries with him. When they say the body speaks, it’s no lie. My body was sending clear signals of rejection, signaling that his presence caused me anxiety and made me feel constantly watched. The moment I did this, I began to feel freer and safer in my own body, helping to regulate my nervous system.
3. Navigate your emotions with professional support
Dealing with so many emotions at once can be extremely overwhelming and harmful to your mental and emotional health. It’s always best to seek professional help since friends’ and family’s ears have limits. Consider that everyone already has their own challenges, and adding yours to their load can be stressful and depressing for them.
In my case, I saw a psychologist for some time and then continued working on myself with my own tools. In embracing my fears, anger, pain, doubts, and guilt, I learned to turn them into fuel for growth. I discovered how to transform my pain and fear into passion and power. In that process, I realized I truly had the strength to become my own heroine.
4. Seek the support of a community
We all need others. What we most seek as human beings is to feel connected and understood, but sadly, we’re not always surrounded by those who help us rise. Your immediate community consists of the people who are part of your life, including family, friends, and close ones. However, it’s helpful to learn to discern whom you can truly count on, and if the answer is no one, to seek a separate support group that can sustain you in your process.
In Canada, I had no close family, so my process was a bit more complicated, as I had nowhere safe to turn except my group of friends, whom I am eternally grateful for their love and support at the time. Nevertheless, I decided to join a one-month professional program for immigrants that, unexpectedly, gave me a fresh start. Being a stranger among supportive peers allowed me to feel safe to be myself, receiving daily encouragement and that sense of community I so desperately needed.
It's an ongoing process
Today, I know that every practice, every power phrase repeated at dawn, and every act of self-care from the self-compassion that reminded me I deserve kindness to the simple act of conscious breathing is a testament to my capacity to be reborn. This journey does not end with this article but continues every day with the question “What do I need today?” and the decision to honor my worth with compassion and courage. Whether you’re a professional in a leadership position or an entrepreneur, I invite you to join this life initiative whenever life transitions make an appearance: make your own power declarations, connect with your body, establish boundaries, and seek the support professional, familial, or communal that holds you when you need it.
Ready to start your path toward self-discovery and personal empowerment? Schedule a coaching session today. Together, we’ll unlock deeper layers of your true self-identity to improve your success and authenticity.
Read more from Diana Cantu Kawas
Diana Cantu Kawas, Holistic Coach, Psychologist & Spiritual Leader
Diana Cantu Kawas is a psychologist, holistic coach, and spiritual leader known for blending ancient healing practices with neuroscience and psychology to help others transform fear into passion and power. She works with creative leaders to unlock deeper layers of their true self-identity for success. Before embracing this path, Diana forged a successful career as an editorial director, fashion stylist, and marketing professional. She founded OMphalos Coaching over a decade ago and is known for catalyzing transformative change, helping clients break free from self-doubt, self-sabotage, and perfectionism through her retreats and bespoke programs, including Navigating Inner Self, Self-Expansion, and the proprietary Energetic Cartography method.
