How to Recover Your Long-Forgotten Passions in 5 Steps
- Brainz Magazine
- 7 hours ago
- 10 min read
Written by Tatiana Goded, Motivational Life Coach
Tatiana Goded is passionate about helping women find their life purpose and rediscover their passions. She is the CEO of Puiaki Precious, a life coaching, NLP, and mindfulness business designed to leverage women find their true selves. Tatiana is also the author of “A Trip Towards the Sunset,” a journey of self-discovery published in 2025.
Do you remember what brought you pure joy as a child? Perhaps you loved painting, writing stories, playing an instrument, or dancing until you forgot about everything else. Those passions that once made you feel most alive, where did they go? For many women, especially in midlife, these forgotten dreams become distant memories, buried beneath years of responsibilities, practicalities, and the voices that told us we needed to be "realistic."
If you're like Claire, a 45-year-old woman with a loving family, a stable job, and a nice house who still feels unfulfilled, you're not alone. Claire remembers how she loved painting as a child, how hours would disappear as she lost herself in colors and creativity. But somewhere along the way, she abandoned it. People told her she'd never make a living from it. Life got busy. And now, despite having everything society considers success, she feels joyless and wonders what happened to that part of herself.
The good news is that those dreams are still there, like treasures we've buried in our own backyard. We know they're there, but over time, we forget exactly where we put them. In this guide, we'll explore the five essential steps to unearth those treasures and bring joy and fulfillment back into your life.
Why recovering your passions matters
Before diving into the steps, it's important to understand why this work matters. Research consistently shows that engaging in hobbies and passions has profound benefits for mental health and overall well-being. A comprehensive scoping review published in 2024 found that hobbies help reduce depression, anxiety, and stress while improving quality of life and fostering social connections.[1] Most remarkably, a 12-year longitudinal study discovered that for older adults with depression, taking up a hobby increased their odds of recovery by 272%.[2]
Furthermore, research on passion and optimal functioning shows that pursuing a passionate activity leads to high levels of psychological, physical, and relational well-being.[3] As noted in Joanne Pagett's recent Brainz Magazine article on "Redefining Success", midlife has a way of resurfacing those longings and desires, not to shame us for not pursuing them earlier, but to remind us they're still available.[4] This is the moment when suppressed creativity, purpose, and desire begin knocking louder.
Step 1: Reconnect with your forgotten dream
The first step is both the simplest and the most profound, remembering what you loved. This isn't about choosing something practical or impressive. It's about identifying what genuinely brought you a sense of being most alive.
Ask yourself these questions:
What did you love doing as a child?
What things bring you joy?
What brings you a sense of feeling most alive?
What have you been doing for hours on end, forgetting about anything else?
What have you always felt drawn to?
Don't rush this step. Sit with these questions. Journal about them. Close your eyes and let memories surface. The passion you're looking for isn't hiding, it's waiting for you to remember it. For some, it might be a creative pursuit like writing, painting, or music. For others, it could be a skill like woodworking, gardening, or cooking. What matters is not what the passion is, but how it makes you feel.
Midlife, as research shows, is actually an ideal time for this rediscovery. Contrary to popular narratives of midlife crisis, this period offers opportunities to feel productive, emotionally fulfilled, and to pursue interests aligned with our sense of self. Insecurities wane, and confidence in work and outside interests typically increase during midlife.[5]
Step 2: Understand why you abandoned your dream and define your big why
Understanding why you left your passion behind is crucial to bringing it back. This step involves two essential parts, facing the past and clarifying the future.
Part A: Learn why you abandoned your dream
Most people abandon their passions during major life transitions or due to external pressures. Perhaps you left your passion behind when you transitioned from education to career, started university, became a parent, or entered a new relationship. Maybe you believed you couldn't make a living from it, or someone close to you discouraged you, telling you it wasn't practical or achievable.
Fear plays a significant role too, fear of failure, the pressure to be a "responsible adult," and social expectations about what you "should" be doing with your time. At the heart of many abandoned dreams are limiting beliefs—those unconscious thoughts that run our lives without us being aware of them. Beliefs like "I'm not good enough," "Who am I to think I could succeed at this?" or "I don't have what it takes."
These beliefs are usually formed in early childhood, when we didn't have the mental resources to question them. As noted in Antonio Esposito's Brainz Magazine article on limiting beliefs, these beliefs become part of our identity and dictate how we think, feel, and behave throughout our lives.[6] Neuroscience research shows that once a belief is formed, the neural pathways associated with it strengthen over time, making it increasingly resistant to change. Bringing these limiting beliefs to light and transforming them into empowering beliefs is often the deepest and most transformative work you can do.
Part write down your big why
Once you've addressed why you left your passion behind, it's time to clarify why you want to bring it back. Your "big why" is the emotional, spiritual, or existential reason that drives you to reclaim your forgotten dream.
Consider these questions:
What draws you back to your passion over and over again?
Why is it so important to you?
Who are you with your dream in your life?
What does committing to this mean for you?
Your big why isn't just a nice-to-have, it's your anchor. Write it down, print it, and read it out loud daily. When obstacles appear (and they will), your big why becomes your best friend and accountability partner, the one that never lets you give up on your dream.
Step 3: Take small steps toward your dream
One of the biggest mistakes people make when trying to recover their passions is thinking they need to make dramatic, sweeping changes. The truth is, sustainable progress comes from consistent small steps.
Enter the 15-minute commitment method. This simple yet powerful approach asks you to dedicate just 15 minutes each day to your passion. That's it. Fifteen minutes feels manageable, even in the busiest of schedules. It doesn't trigger the overwhelm that often comes with bigger commitments, and it sidesteps the perfectionism that can keep us from starting at all.
What happens over time is remarkable. Those 15 minutes become a non-negotiable part of your day. They build momentum. They remind you why you loved this passion in the first place. And before you know it, you're not just spending 15 minutes, you're finding more time because you genuinely want to. But the key is to start small. Commit to those 15 minutes as if they're sacred, because they are.
Research on passion pursuit confirms that it's important to develop, explore, and experiment over time rather than tenaciously commit to a single approach.[7] This makes passion pursuit more sustainable by helping you discern who you are and what you care about.
Step 4: Make yourself accountable
Accountability is what turns good intentions into actual results. Without it, even the strongest commitment can fade when life gets busy or resistance creeps in. This step is about creating structures and relationships that support your commitment to your passion.
Create a plan for moments of resistance
Resistance is inevitable. There will be days when you don't feel like showing up for your passion, when excuses seem perfectly reasonable, or when old limiting beliefs resurface. The key is to anticipate these moments and have a plan ready. When resistance shows up, go back to your big why. Read it aloud. Remind yourself why this matters. Sometimes that's all you need to push through.
Find an accountability partner
An accountability partner can make all the difference. But not just anyone will do. Ideally, choose someone who:
Understands your passion or has one of their own to rediscover
Shares a passion with you, creating mutual understanding
Will check in regularly and hold you to your commitments with kindness and support
Having someone to share your wins and struggles with, someone who genuinely cares about your progress, transforms the journey from a solitary effort into a shared adventure.
Step 5: Sustain your rediscovered passion
Recovering your passion is one thing, sustaining it over the long term is another. This final step is about making your passion a lasting part of who you are, not just something you dabble in when time allows.
Identify yourself with your passion
There's a powerful shift that happens when you move from "I'm trying to write" to "I am a writer." When you identify yourself with your passion, you stop treating it as a hobby that can be dropped when things get hectic. It becomes part of your identity, something that's non-negotiable.
As noted in Aden Eyob's Brainz Magazine article on the Pyramid of Change, effective transformation comes from the identity level, for what you say, you eventually become. Allow yourself to claim that identity. If you paint, you're a painter. If you play music, you're a musician. This isn't about ego, it's about honoring the part of you that comes alive when you engage with your passion.
Maintain your commitment
Sustaining your passion requires ongoing commitment. Keep your 15-minute practice or expand it as feels natural. Continue checking in with your accountability partner. Revisit your big why regularly to keep your motivation strong. And be gentle with yourself on days when life gets in the way. Consistency doesn't mean perfection, it means showing up again and again, even after you've stumbled.
Connect with community
Finally, seek out others who share your passion. Whether it's an online group, a local class, or a community of like-minded individuals, being part of a community reinforces your commitment and provides inspiration, support, and fresh perspectives. Research demonstrates, that hobbies help connect people, build relationships, and foster a sense of community, all of which contribute to improved mental health and well-being.[9] You're not on this journey alone.
Bringing it all together
Recovering your long-forgotten passion isn't about adding one more thing to your already busy life. It's about reclaiming a part of yourself that brings joy, fulfillment, and a sense of being truly alive. It's about honoring the dreams you once had and giving yourself permission to pursue them again, no matter how much time has passed.
Claire, the woman we met at the beginning of this article, didn't need more time or resources to bring painting back into her life. She needed to remember why it mattered, confront the beliefs that held her back, and commit to small, consistent steps. And so do you.
These five steps, reconnecting with your forgotten dream, understanding why you abandoned it while defining your big why, taking small steps, making yourself accountable, and sustaining your passion, are your roadmap. They've worked for countless women who felt stuck and unfulfilled, and they can work for you too. As research confirms, the benefits extend far beyond the hobby itself, engaging in passions reduces stress and depression, enhances quality of life, and creates meaningful connections with others.
Take the next step
If you're ready to dive deeper into this process and want guided support every step of the way, I invite you to explore my "Recovering Your Long-Forgotten Dream" 5-week online course. Over five weeks, we'll walk through each of these steps in depth, with workbooks, live sessions, meditations, and personalized support to help you bring your passion back to life.
You'll receive five weekly live presentations (recorded if you can't attend), comprehensive workbooks for each module, bonus planning charts to track your progress, three guided meditations to keep you focused, an 800-word short story personalized for you describing your success, and a 60-minute private coaching session with me to support you in fulfilling your goal.
This course is designed for women like you who are ready to prioritize their needs, rediscover joy, and reclaim the parts of themselves they've set aside for too long. With lifetime access to all materials, you can revisit the course for any passion you want to recover.
If group work isn't your preference, I also offer private one-on-one coaching sessions tailored to your specific journey. And ihu'd like to start exploring on your own, download my free Essential Kit to Recover Your Dreams, which includes journaling prompts, meditations, inspiring stories, and the first two chapters of my novel.
For more information, contact me here.
Read more from Tatiana Goded
Tatiana Goded, Motivational Life Coach
Tatiana is a Motivational Life Coach passionate about helping women find their life purpose and rediscover the passion in their lives. She spent many years trying to find her own life purpose and recover her childhood passion for writing, wishing someone would help her reach her goals. Her journey was full of struggles and setbacks until she discovered the key elements to success. She is now following her life purpose as a life coach, and has followed her passion for writing, publishing her first book, “A Trip Towards the Sunset,” in March 2025. Tatiana’s mission is to help women in their midlife rediscover their long-forgotten dreams and recover their true selves, bringing back joy and passion to their lives.
References:
[4] Pagett, J. (2025). Redefining Success–Why Midlife Women Lose Their Identity, and How to Reclaim It. Brainz Magazine.
[6] Esposito, A. (2022). Limiting Belief–The Reason Why Your Life Sucks (Or Is Difficult!). Brainz Magazine.
[7] Berry, Z., Lucas, B. J., & Jachimowicz, J. M. (2025). Giving up on a passion. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. [8] Eyob, A. (2021). The Pyramid of Change Is Calling. Brainz Magazine.
Klemm, W. R. (2010). Atoms of Mind: The "Ghost in the Machine" Materializes. Springer.
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