Written by Carole Stizza, Executive Leadership Coach
Carole Stizza, PCC is an expert on the leadership ripple effect and resiliency. She is an executive leadership coach, speaker, author, and military spouse who has been able to study military and corporate leadership in real-time.
Leadership is a subjective word, conjuring up images of the past successes of the great, failures of the fallen, and everything in between. We hear a lot about leadership the longer we talk about work. So how do current and rising leaders identify what works now, especially as AI emerges as an intellectual resource? The question is both how and when AI will require leaders to differentiate themselves as human beings to lead more effectively with the talent they need to remain competitive. This is where coaching provides a secret weapon and thinking partnership that few utilize before challenges emerge.
People matter
I grew up hearing the quote, “showing up is 90% of success”. Many have misquoted Woody Allen. When researching whether this quote existed, I found that he was quoted as saying 70% or 80%. Regardless of the percentage, perhaps the secret to this quote’s success is the other part of Allen’s point, “the other percentage depends on what you’re showing up for.” From water skiing to now, I have found that showing up for people matters.
Make waves
I always wanted to make waves for positive change. It started at the age of 6 when I learned how to water ski. Floating in the water and looking at the calm water, the waves I would make would be mine alone. That was an empowering thought for me. Our mother had just died in a car accident and the family was suffering in silent ways, separating from each other in hopes of healing in isolation, which rarely works.
The effort to learn something new was a welcomed distraction and when I finally made it up out of the water, everyone in the boat cheered. I reveled in the waves my little water skis made as I bobbed on the end of the ski rope. Galvanizing everyone in the boat to cheer was a sign of hope that doing things together is more meaningful than alone.
Showing up for family is still one of my greatest daily achievements. As a military family serving the US Air Force, we moved often, reacclimated to schools and communities, made fantastic friends, and now have a network of people we consider extended family wherever we land. Our two kids, now grown, have friends all over the world and have a larger viewpoint of our nation than I did growing up in one small town all my life. While it was never the easiest lifestyle, it does bring us unique stories to share with those we meet.
Now retired from active duty my husband still works in the wonderful and mysterious world of space launch, exposing me to another level of leadership outside of the typical corporate or military settings. The kids are launched and have started families of their own and we are blessed with grand pets and 2 amazing young grandchildren.
I continue to water ski to this day, hosted by wonderful friends who have boats on lakes, in exchange for us hosting them to play in the snow in the winter. The cheer we all send up when anyone rises out of the water, clears a snow mound, or enjoys whatever activity we are in, reminds me again that being together means more than being apart.
The seed of my coaching
I took that love of connecting people into my career. As a military family, my different roles from each relocation culminated within the current Human Resources (HR) industry. Regardless of my position, I was the person most often sent to handle conflict.
We all have gifts, and one of mine is bringing calm when conflict arises. My understanding of human psychology steers the conflict from personal conflict to a more objective conversation. This allows people to understand how to show up for one another for personal and organizational success more quickly than sitting in a conversation of blame.
The theme of ‘showing up for people’ has helped me galvanize volunteers, teams, and entire organizational divisions when change is needed. I was introduced to the industry of coaching by clients who preferred working with me to their current coaches. Now, communicating how integral people are to each other’s success is an idea I keep present when working with leaders, especially as leaders are asked to embrace hybrid and remote work methods.
Relevant insight is unique
When coaching, I quickly gain the trust of leaders. I come at their challenges with the added view of what their people need from them to help with their success. This makes our conversations multilayered as I bring forth perspectives many leaders forget to consider.
For example, I was hired to coach a rising executive. The challenge was his old habits of working longer and harder than everyone else, was now working against him. As a director positioned to be welcomed into the C-suite, the CEO felt he was mismanaging his time, under-developing his people, setting the wrong impression of what was expected, and shying away from speaking publicly in front of the organization. My client was perplexed at the criticism as he didn’t see his performance with the same lens.
By asking him to view himself from his people’s perspective, he recognized where he had growth opportunities in service to them, not despite them. We changed his thinking from ‘delegating to get rid of work’ to ‘developing his people with work needed for their growth’. He started understanding why his people needed to see him making presentations, to feel represented and seen by the other divisions. He also recognized what his family needed from him at home, and that by keeping more reasonable hours, his people would understand that working longer and later was not part of the culture. We were given 6 months to work together. He was promoted within just 4 months of working together.
Perceptions of how people see you can open you up to growth faster than if you stay mired in your inner judgments. Perception shifts can feel small, and yet lead to big life-changing decisions.
Big decisions are often quiet
We all have pivotal moments that lead us to big decisions. Big decisions do not have to have a banner, blow horns, or a celebration. More often, they are done in the quiet moments of reflection, revelation, and clarity. My personal big decision came in the quiet drive home after hearing, “You’re cured.”
Until then, I hadn’t realized I’d been metaphorically holding my breath. The time required to go through a surprise stage 3 uterine cancer diagnosis, along with the surgery, treatment, and years of waiting, just to make sure all my health markers were going in the right direction back to health, had left me in limbo. Now I breathed freely and deeply.
I had not been idle during those years of waiting. At the time of my diagnosis, I had just been hired by a consulting firm I adored and started a master’s program. I let go of the consulting firm position to heal and took 1 semester off from my master’s. I completed my master’s in Industrial-Organizational Psychology just 2 years after treatment ended.
A master’s in Industrial-Organizational Psychology is the study, research, and application of how to influence and measure what is implemented when elevating people to work better together.
During those same years, I continued to water ski, travel, snow ski, and road bike as those activities were a touchstone to staying alive. I had friends and family who rallied around me and yet it was the clients I had worked with in prior assignments that gave oxygen to the idea of working differently as I looked to the future.
On that drive home, I decided that I would not go back to work for anyone who limited vacation time. Life is too short to be limited when we need to travel, visit, or spend time with the people who matter. Don’t laugh, you know where this is going, I went into business for myself. Knowing that people want to grow to be relevant; Relevant Insight was born.
Results are loud
I now coach executives and leaders who know that to be relevant, they need to influence positive performance with those they lead and not at the expense of those they employ.
I’ve been honored to coach some of the smartest minds in tech, defense, finance, government, retail, federal law, software, and healthcare.
Coaches are as unique as their clients. I share that the word ‘Coach’ is very similar to the word ‘seasoning.’ When you open your cabinet, you select the right seasoning for the right dish. Pick your coach wisely - for you.
I am the coach who helps leaders make a difference in the crucial relationships they need to succeed. I am honored to work with motivated leaders who seek to be someone their people brag about and want to follow. To do that, I literally ask my clients, “What do you want people to brag about when you’re not in the room?” Neuroscience offers that we get what we focus upon, and the answer to this question is worth your clarity.
If I could wave a magic wand
If I could change one thing about the coaching industry, especially in leadership coaching, it would be to help incorporate coaching into the workplace as a benefit. Coaching has been proven to help match, elevate, and retain the right talent for all organizations to thrive. While this may feel like a major decision for organizations to make, it has a positive influence on their culture. And it is very helpful with hybrid and remote work outcomes.
I often get asked, “How do we galvanize people who are separated?” Much like ‘how do you eat an elephant = one bite at a time’. You galvanize groups of people, one leader at a time. The faster change hits the market, the need to engage and galvanize teams to higher performance is imperative. Coaching is a vital tool to employ for leaders.
New development for leaders
One area I am keen to solve for leaders is the lack of a pipeline-style leadership development program, for all levels of leaders, that helps create a healthy culture of leadership behaviors back in the organization.
This is an area where employees are left to explore their learning outside of the organization. Leadership programs abound but few are designed to be used as a continual resource, built into the norm for an entire organization.
I’ve been conducting Market Research Conversations with leaders across the U.S. to hear what they want and need. Due to my time coaching, there were few surprises. The one surprise remained the need to use a pipeline-designed program to build a growing leadership culture for long-term consistency.
Thus, the program I am launching now includes:
An assessment to identify who is ready for leadership learning,
an assessment to reveal individual strengths,
a virtual program that fits geographically for each attendee/organization,
a group coaching atmosphere to learn from one another and broaden networking,
individual coaching time included for handling personal challenges with material,
40+ years of research in leadership with textbooks and materials
Individual goals to take back into their organization to measure growth internally
And regular experiments to bring their learning back into their teams.
Leaders want tangible results when investing in their existing and future leaders. This is a wonderful challenge for Relevant Insight as it brings people together, helps them see how they matter, and helps them become part of the village of leaders who achieve extraordinary results.
Carole Stizza, Executive Leadership Coach
Carole's first awareness of any type of ripple effect came after she experienced the loss of several family members from a reckless driver, only to see her father never regain his love of life, his spark, or his ability to lead as he once had. The ripple effect was profound. Equally profound was experiencing brilliant leadership via several employment roles. Taking note of the ripple effect of each type of leadership now allows Carole to coach clients to recognize the ROI.
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