How My Driving Test Taught Me To ‒ Lose The Fear Of Failure And Make Decisions
Written by: Giannina Carlino, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
A little win for me recently – I passed my driving test at the age of 25.
During the first consultation with my driving instructor, I was asked “Why are you choosing to learn how to drive now?”
Admittedly, the answer was because I was being teased by my family members that I am getting older, and if I don’t learn how to drive now I never will. However, I choose to be diplomatic with my response and give a people pleasing answer, which was, “By learning how to drive I would create more freedom and independency in my life.”
My instructor's response: “That’s different from hearing… Errr my mum bought me driving lessons for Christmas”. We chuckled knowing fully well our energy matched because we were both of the same mentality.
Anyway, 3 lockdowns later (cheers Boris); we stood outside the driving test centre at 7:45 am chatting, waiting for my test to begin.
“Are you nervous?” asked my instructor. “No…” I responded as I jumped up and down with excitement. I knew fully well it was divinely guided; I was taking my exam on 11 /01. I was exactly where I had to be. It was at that point when I heard myself explaining out loud why I wasn’t nervous.
“…If I’m honest with you, this is the first time ever I have come to an exam/test not feeling fearful of failure. I know if I were to fail today I am not to see my failure as shameful or as a weakness, but as a sign that I am yet to learn a lesson. I am fully aware if I do fail I am one step closer to succeeding.” It was then when I had a moment of realisation. Fear of failing was a predominant emotion that has stopped me from reaching my fullest potential.
Whilst I responded to my instructor I saw countless flashbacks of myself waiting outside examination halls, cramming in as many notes as possible before an exam, I witnessed all the times I ruined an experience because I believed, if I did not pass the exam I was a failure and not intelligent. I placed unnecessary pressure on myself that prevented me from embracing the experience, staying calm and being present.
My instructor looked at me strangely; he was most certainly wondering where the hell I came from, because I was not a normal millennial woman. However I knew my response was not me, but my guides talking through me.
Finally after 15 years of exams, on the day of my driving test, my perspective of failure, changed. I now have the awareness that failure is not fatal but just another stepping stone to success. With my new perspective, I felt ready and prepared to drive. No matter what happened there was a lesson to learn and I was willing to learn it.
My driving test will till this day be the wildest test you will ever read about, how I passed the first time will forever be a mystery to us all.
The test started well, both the examiner and I found ourselves in traffic, I thought to myself, if I can be in traffic for the next 30 minutes it would be the easiest test ever, well done universe, you heard my prayers. However, the universe had a different plan for me ‒ Nothing ever comes that easy for me. I turned right at a set of traffic lights, the examiner tells me to pull over… on a single yellow line where I would clearly be causing an obstruction. “Do what the examiner says” I heard my guides reassure me.
Interjection here – My guides talk to me always, no matter where I am. Also, I should mention that during a driving test, you will be required to check your visibility and eyesight, be requested to answer 2 “Show and Tell Me” questions and then perform 1 car manoeuvre; this does not include an emergency stop, all within 30 to 40 minutes. I had completed one question already at the test centre. Pulling over was my one car manoeuvre.
What actually happened on my driving test: I read three number plates, answered 3 “Show and Tell me” questions, performed a total of 6 car manoeuvres (4 emergency stops), almost ran 3 pedestrians over, witnessed a police car and ambulance pass me, the examiner opened the door onto a cyclist, almost scratched my driving instructors car by hitting a metal post, the examiner then showed me what “road rage” was, by getting out of the car and addressing other drivers all in the space of 1 hour and 5 minutes.
It was when the examiner instructed me to pull over after having entered a big roundabout to allow an ambulance to pass, that I had an epiphany; this test and the skill of driving was teaching me a lesson.
It was at the age of 25 where I was ready to learn my lesson on how to make decisions in times of chaos. I spent my life believing if I could prepare, work hard and connect all the pieces of a puzzle together leaving no room for error, I would be able to avoid chaos creating a clear path to success. I believed chaos showed itself to me when things never went according to plan; I would make a hasty or fearful decision. Creating these plans allowed me to feel safe, secure and confident in moving forward. However these plans never prepared me for the unexpected – and this, I know now is one of my weaknesses.
It was then I had my second moment of realisation the near misses on my driving test were signs from the universe showing me chaos/the unexpected, can strike at any moment and we must be prepared to deal with it no matter how uncomfortable it can make us feel. Planning and preparation can take you only so far. These signs taught me that fear serves no purpose when the unexpected occurs; it is a wasted emotion that bears no relevance in reality. Being calm, grounded and trusting in your own abilities will allow you to make a balanced decision when you least expect it.
As I pulled into the driving test centre, fully believing I had failed the test, I heard the forever sweet words “You passed!”.
In shock, I looked at my guide and stated, “You assured me I would be safe and not cause any accidents”. Her response was, “But there was no accident; you performed well when you least expected too.” She smiled, bowed her head and left.
Grateful, I thanked my guides, the universe, the examiner, my instructor, his car and myself.
Giannina Carlino, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Giannina has been able to communicate with spirit since childhood, after many years of suffering from a family curse, her perpetrators let their guard down and Giannina managed to break free and embody her spiritual gift. Giannina heard her calling to become a Shaman and trained as a Shamanic Practitioner. She has since quickly gained recognition for her transformational healings across the country, working alongside her parents, who are also Shamans.
During Giannina’s Shamanic ceremony, she was given the blessing of Mother Energy and draws upon Mother, to transform trauma and pain into forgiveness and love. She works closely to bring deep healing to individuals, buildings and land. – It is no surprise Giannina’s given shamanic name is Mother, as hidden within her name is GAIA.
Giannina’s passion is to help others and what better way than through her natural gift of spiritual healing? Understanding her role in this life is to leave Humanity better than how she found it; Giannina is the Founder of Humans of Humanity, where she offers Shamanic healing for all who seek it, she is also the CEO of Gentle Grow, where she sells conscious products.
