Finding Strength in Vulnerability and Discovering Why You Do Not Need All the Answers
- 12 hours ago
- 5 min read
Written by Oliver Dolby, The Soul Doctor
Oliver Dolby is a London-based healer and teacher of the Egyptian Lineage of Isis of Light. Creator of the Etheric Trauma Release Method, he helps clients release emotional blockages, restore balance, and awaken their inner vitality through energy and spiritual practice.
Learn why not having all the answers can deepen trust, strengthen connection, and support personal healing and growth.
Author’s note
I’m still learning this. Vulnerability is not something I’ve mastered or completed. It’s something I practise, moment by moment. There are times when silence still feels uncomfortable. Times when not knowing asks more of me than having an answer ever did. This piece is not written from a place of perfection. It’s written from presence. If anything here resonated, know that you’re not behind. You’re simply human. - Oliver
Finding strength in vulnerability
Vulnerability is often misunderstood. It is not collapse. It is not uncontained emotional exposure.
For a long time, I believed strength meant steadiness, being the one who could hold the space, the one with clarity, the one with answers. Over the years, I have frequently been described as a deeply experienced practitioner. Someone once referred to me as a “master” of my profession. Experienced. Grounded. Almost untouchable.
The comment was offered kindly, yet it stopped me in my tracks, because untouchable was never the goal.
What I have come to understand is this: true strength is profoundly human. And vulnerability is part of that humanity.
What vulnerability really is
Vulnerability is not something we perform. It is something we allow. It begins internally before words form, before explanations arise, before guidance is offered.
For me, vulnerability began with noticing how often I appeared composed on the surface while something very different was happening underneath: a tightening in the body, an impulse to remain polished, a subtle pressure to stay certain.
Vulnerability is the moment we stop overriding that inner experience. It is presence without armour. Truth without the need to appear definitive.
When vulnerability is embodied, the body responds. Breath deepens. Energy settles. Nothing dramatic occurs, yet something profound shifts. Often, clarity arrives not through intensity, but through stillness.
The quiet work of self-honesty
Before vulnerability can be shared, it must first be felt.
This required learning to be honest with myself, to recognise when I was speaking from habit rather than truth, when I was holding the role more tightly than the moment required.
Self-honesty is subtle. It does not announce itself; it simply notices. When inner experience is acknowledged rather than suppressed, energy realigns. There is less strain. Less effort. Less need to uphold an image. And with that softening comes coherence.
Vulnerability is not exposure
There is a common misconception that vulnerability requires revealing everything or dissolving boundaries. It does not.
For a long time, I worried that allowing vulnerability would weaken trust, that being seen as human might undermine the authority I had spent years building. What I discovered was the opposite.
Vulnerability, when regulated, strengthens trust. It includes choice. It includes timing. It includes boundaries. Boundaries are not the opposite of vulnerability. They are what allow it to be safe and grounded.
Why vulnerability feels uncomfortable
Vulnerability disrupts old protection patterns.
Many of us learned early to manage ourselves well, to remain composed, to stay capable, to keep moving. I recognise this deeply.
When a client asked a question I could not immediately answer, there was often a strong internal pull to continue speaking, to fill the silence. The quiet felt charged, as though something needed correcting.
Yet that impulse was not about wisdom. It was about discomfort. The nervous system prioritises safety over truth. If silence once felt risky, the body remembers. Vulnerability asks the system to soften where it once braced.
That softening can feel unfamiliar. Exposed. Uncertain. Safety must come first. Without it, vulnerability feels overwhelming rather than supportive.
When not knowing becomes strength
One of the most transformative lessons I have learned is this: It is acceptable not to know.
Saying “I don’t know” initially felt deeply uncomfortable. It challenged an old belief that certainty was required in order to be trusted.
What surprised me was what happened when I allowed the silence to remain. The space softened. The energy shifted. Clients relaxed. I relaxed. Often, insight emerged naturally, sometimes from the client themselves, sometimes later, once the body had integrated.
When inner truth aligns with outer expression, energy flows. There is less strain and more presence. Wisdom no longer needs to be forced.
Vulnerability and authority
Being regarded as experienced carries weight. It can create reassurance and distance.
I began to realise that by always appearing steady, I may have unintentionally reinforced the idea that I no longer encountered uncertainty, that I had somehow moved beyond the human experience of not knowing.
That simply is not true.
Mastery does not mean being beyond vulnerability. It means being at ease with it. Not centring it. Not hiding it. Allowing it to exist when it is authentic. Authority does not disappear when vulnerability is present. It becomes grounded.
Vulnerability in healing and relationship
Healing occurs when resistance ends. Vulnerability allows the system to stop bracing. It creates space for integration rather than analysis.
When I allow myself to remain human in the room, something shifts. The space becomes relational rather than performative. Shared rather than hierarchical.
The nervous system mirrors safety. Conversation slows. Listening deepens. Trust forms not through perfection, but through presence.
Living vulnerability daily
Vulnerability is not a singular decision. It is a daily practice.
It lives in small moments: Pausing before responding. Allowing a breath to complete. Sitting with silence rather than filling it.
There are still times when old habits surface, when speaking feels easier than feeling. Each time I notice, I return. To the body. To the breath. To what is genuinely present. And each time, the work deepens.
A closing reflection
If vulnerability feels uncomfortable, you are not failing. You are touching something honest.
You do not need all the answers. You do not need to fill every silence. You do not need to perform your worth. Being deeply experienced does not require being untouchable.
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can offer is your humanity and the courage to remain present within it.
Read more from Oliver Dolby
Oliver Dolby, The Soul Doctor
For over 25 years, Oliver Dolby has guided others through profound journeys of healing and awakening. Creator of the Etheric Trauma Release Method and teacher of the Egyptian Lineage of Isis of Light and Magick Series, he helps people reconnect with their vitality, peace, and inner power. His work bridges ancient wisdom with modern transformation.
