Father, Mother, Neither? – Challenging Gender Norms in Christian Theology
- Brainz Magazine
- Jun 25
- 6 min read
Tarrent-Arthur Henry, known by the pen name Tarrent ‘Authur’ Henry, is a devoted husband and stepfather to two exceptional young men. The founder of 'Righteous Uplifting Nourishing International, Inc.,' a 501c3 Non-Profit Organization, he passionately leads its global mission to empower individuals to achieve their dreams.
“I’m not a woman, I’m not a man. I am something that you’ll never understand.” These lyrics from Prince’s iconic I Would Die 4 U capture a sentiment that many spiritual thinkers and seekers have long wrestled with, one that directly intersects with the way we conceive of God. For centuries, Christian traditions have referred to God using male pronouns. “He,” “His,” “Father,” “Lord,” these terms saturate scripture, liturgy, music, and everyday faith language. But must God be “He”? What happens when we ask deeper questions about the language we use to describe the Divine?
This conversation is not about denying the historical roots of Christianity, nor is it about deconstructing faith. It’s about expanding understanding, making space for theological reflection, and asking: Why do Christians primarily use male pronouns for God, and is it time for a shift?
The origins of masculine God-language
To understand why Christians often refer to God as “He,” we have to go way back. The Old Testament (or Hebrew Bible) was written in a patriarchal context. Ancient Israel, like most ancient cultures, was male-dominated. Social roles, legal rights, and religious authority were overwhelmingly held by men. In this setting, God was often described in masculine terms, not because the Divine was biologically male, but because masculine imagery was culturally dominant.
God as “Father” appears frequently in both testaments of the Bible. Jesus referred to God as “Abba,” an Aramaic word that conveys intimacy, like “Papa” or “Dad.” This relational metaphor has shaped Christian thought for millennia. Additionally, the use of male pronouns in English translations of the Bible has reinforced the idea that God is “He.”
But here’s the crucial point: metaphor does not equal identity. Just because God is like a father doesn’t mean God is male.
Scripture’s surprising gender fluidity
While male imagery is prevalent, it is not the whole story. The Bible actually uses a wide array of metaphors and pronouns to describe God, many of which are feminine or neutral in nature.
In Isaiah 66:13, God says, “As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you.”
Deuteronomy 32:18 speaks of God giving birth: “You forgot the God who gave you birth.”
The Hebrew word “Ruach,” used for Spirit, is feminine in gender.
In Luke 15, Jesus compares God to a woman searching for a lost coin.
God is depicted as a mother hen, a midwife, a woman in labor, and a homemaker kneading dough. These metaphors exist in sacred text, yet they’re often sidelined or spiritualized into abstraction. Meanwhile, the “He” language remains unquestioned, institutionalized, and deeply ingrained.
What if we were to take the Bible’s full range of divine imagery seriously? What if the God of Christianity is not male or female, but transcends gender entirely?
Theological implications: God beyond gender
Christian theology, at its core, affirms that God is spirit (John 4:24). God is not a human being with a body, subject to sex or biology. Genesis 1:27 says, “So God created humankind in His image… male and female He created them.” This doesn’t mean God is male or female. It suggests that both male and female together reflect the image of God.
Early Church Fathers, such as Augustine and Gregory of Nyssa, as well as later mystics like Julian of Norwich, acknowledged the mystery of God’s being. Julian famously wrote, “As truly as God is our Father, so truly is God our Mother.”
But over time, institutional Christianity leaned heavily into the patriarchal norms of society. Church leadership became male-dominated. Masculine metaphors were normalized and even canonized. Feminine imagery was reduced to poetic license rather than theological truth.
This matters deeply. Language shapes thought. If God is always “He,” we begin to associate authority, holiness, and power exclusively with masculinity. This has ripple effects across society, affecting how we see leadership, gender roles, and even ourselves.
The human cost of a masculinized God
In faith communities where God is only ever “Father” or “Lord,” women, nonbinary individuals, and LGBTQ+ Christians can feel alienated. The lack of inclusive language reinforces a hierarchy that’s more about human power than divine truth.
For example:
Women may struggle to see themselves reflected in the divine image.
Men may internalize the pressure to mirror a God defined by dominance or control.
Nonbinary or gender-nonconforming individuals may wonder where they fit in a theology that doesn’t even recognize their existence.
Theologically speaking, limiting God to one gender contradicts the vast, boundless nature of the Divine. Spirit is not confined by chromosomes. God is not made in our image; we are made in God’s.
So why keep referring to God as “He”?
Tradition, comfort, and change
Part of the answer is tradition. For many Christians, calling God “He” or “Father” feels deeply personal and spiritually grounding. Changing that language can feel disruptive, almost like losing a beloved aspect of faith.
But spiritual maturity often involves holding a paradox. It means loving the traditions that formed us while being open to new revelations. Jesus himself challenged the religious language of his day. He didn’t discard the sacred, but he reimagined it, made it living and breathing and inclusive.
Faith grows when we let it breathe.
It’s also worth noting that many Christian denominations are already making space for more inclusive language. Progressive churches often use “Godself” instead of “Himself,” or refer to God as “Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer” instead of “Father, Son, Holy Spirit.” While these changes may seem small, they have profound theological and social implications.
They invite us to encounter God not as a projection of male dominance but as the source of all being beyond binary, beyond language, beyond limitation.
What if God were not “he”?
This question is not about political correctness. It’s about truth. It’s about healing.
What if God were not “He,” but They? Not as in multiple gods, but as in a plural unity, a divine fullness, an inclusive presence?
What if we allowed ourselves to pray to the Mothering Father, or the Holy Spirit who hovers like a mother bird over creation?
What if we stopped projecting our cultural gender norms onto the Eternal and allowed God to reveal Themselves in the fullness of divine identity?
We might begin to:
See women’s leadership in faith communities as natural, not exceptional.
Welcome gender-diverse individuals as image-bearers of God.
Reimagine power not as domination, but as nurturing, healing, creating.
In other words, we might become more whole.
Embracing mystery
In the end, perhaps the most faithful posture toward the question of God’s gender is humble mystery.
Mystics across traditions, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, have always known what theology struggles to articulate: that the Divine is beyond our categories. Every name we give to God, Father, Mother, King, Friend, Light, Fire, Shepherd, Rock, is a metaphor. It’s a window, not a wall.
When we say “God is He,” we are naming a relationship, not assigning anatomy. But when that language becomes exclusive, when it erases other equally valid expressions, it limits both God and us.
So maybe it’s time to reframe.
Maybe we can say: God is not a woman. God is not a man. God is more.
God is the Source of Life, the Breath of Being, the Sacred “I Am” who speaks through burning bushes and broken hearts alike.
And maybe, just maybe, if we learn to speak of God more fully, we might come to know God more deeply.
Toward a more expansive faith
The journey toward more inclusive God-language is not about rejection. It’s about restoration. It’s about reclaiming the fullness of God’s image reflected in all people, across all identities.
Christians don’t have to stop saying “Father,” but we do have to remember that God is also “Mother.” We don’t have to erase the past, but we must enlarge our vision.
Let’s have the courage to ask deeper questions. Let’s welcome the tension of tradition and transformation. And let’s speak of God in ways that heal, liberate, and include.
Because at the heart of the Christian faith is the belief that God is love, and love never fits in a box.
Tarrent-Arthur Henry, Mental Wellness Specialist and Advocate
Tarrent-Arthur Henry, known by the pen name Tarrent ‘Authur’ Henry, is a devoted husband and stepfather to two exceptional young men. The founder of 'Righteous Uplifting Nourishing International, Inc.,' a 501c3 Non-Profit Organization, he passionately leads its global mission to empower individuals to achieve their dreams. He is also a best-selling author and poet. Henry serves as a Pastor, Chaplain, Mental Wellness Specialist, and advocate. And holds certifications as a Coach, Speaker, Teacher, Trainer, and Facilitator with Maxwell Leadership.
