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Eros And Ethics, An Unlikely Pair

Written by: Ailsa Keppie, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.


Many people would agree that our current collective worldview is grossly weighted towards greed and the desire for power. We have witnessed an alarming decline in compassionate policies, caring Governments or Just Laws.

So what is the one thing that could steer us back on track? Is this course correction even possible?

I would take the standpoint that it is indeed possible to have hope in humanity. I am an eternal optimist as far as things go, and I cannot just sit back and give up on our species or our future.

Having spent my life learning how to love and be loved, and now working in the Edgy world of Sexuality, I see the answer as being very simple.


I know this in and of itself is not a groundbreaking idea. “Love conquers all” is a saying we have all heard. The thing we are missing in that oversimplified quote is the Ethical wisdom or training that allows us to understand and even practice Love in any kind of masterful way.

We are told as children to look at others as beautiful, as worthy, as fellow humans. The idea of Ethical training around Love could begin at the same age at which we are first told that everybody is beautiful.

Even more importantly, children could be given the important training to experience beauty correctly, to understand what it really means to be beautiful, and to begin to develop the proper responses to beauty.

This seems to be precisely what Aristotle himself envisioned for the ethical training of young people when he noted that they must be raised from an early age to feel pleasure and pain at the right sorts of things —ethical training begins with the training of the passions.

And we cannot begin to speak of passion, without bringing up Eros.

Eros is a God of love and desire, son of Aphrodite, and the concept is almost overused today within the circles of Relationship and Intimacy coaching. We see Eros or the recognition of our desires and longings as the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, something to strive for in our personal growth.

This is not a bad thing, but it is only the first step in the development of our Inner Ethics. Knowing our passions and expressing our desires clearly is an important pre-requisite to honouring the passions and desires of others also.

We must balance our desires with those of others, the earth, and everything that exists. We cannot continue to want more and more to the exclusion of the rights of everything else. Our own experience of Eros must be in balance and partnership with our valuing and honouring of the wants and needs of those around us.

To this end, the discovery of pleasure and pain is not just a personal exploration, but also an opportunity to feel our connection to everything else in the universe. We should be able to feel pleasure directly through our own experience and also feel pleasure when we witness or share in others’ fulfillment.

Pain also is both a personal and collective experience.

So love can overcome everything if we can find the balance of Ethics and Eros. I have hope in Humanity and in the Universe, that we can begin to find ways to learn and master this balance. It is not just a frivolous pursuit but something that is necessary to our survival.

To sum up Eros for me, we can again use the words of Aristotle:

“Eros was at once the intellectual love that seeks the good of the soul and the sensual love of sexual desire. It is concerned with bodies as much as it is with souls. It sought education and pleasure, transcendence and intimacy.”

This is truly the treasure at the end of the road and a direction I want to steer our collective course towards. The Ethical practice of Eros could save us in the end.

Ailsa Keppie

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Ailsa Keppie, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Ailsa is a trained intimacy Educator and Somatic Therapist and has been working in hands-on bodywork, somatic coaching, and healing for over a decade. Ailsa Keppie brings aspects from her background in circus arts, physical theatre, music, dance, myofascial release, bioenergetic processes, archetypes, and spirituality to her work with clients. She is a published author of her compelling memoir entitled "By the Light of the Crescent Moon," which describes her incredible journey into Islam and polygamy and how it lead to her awakening and reclamation of her own Eros and power. Ailsa works with individuals, couples, and groups both online and in-person at her retreat center, Our Celtic Hearth, in Nova Scotia, Canada, where she resides with her current life partner.



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