Does Work Feel Like A Joy Or A Burden? – You May Want to Look Within
Debra Jane Wales is a coach, somatic and yoga movement educator who helps people live with more freedom and ease. Debbie's mission is clear as day: To help you move closer to yourself and to feeling UN-stuck, your way, the way it's supposed to be!
Here is the strange thing about our professional lives and work choices: We expect it to be a totally enjoyable experience! This idea can get harder by the day, especially in the 21st century, where we humans are now passive observers of everyone else’s life. “Everyone is having fun, making gazillions, got it all going on, got a life they love and a job they love except us!!” Ojj!
Well, that’s not true. I love mine, but it does not come without its moment, and quite frankly, I don’t expect it to. I’ve worked hard, trained hard, studied hard, took risks, lost it all and worked hard to make it work again. I’ve had misunderstandings, disappointments, missed opportunities, been disregarded, ignored, felt like a failure, and an outsider; it has not been or is not a bed of roses.
“Succeed again. Fail again. Fail better” – Samuel Beckett.
In my role helping people, it takes attunement, empathy, compassion, the ability to repair disagreements, and the ability to work messily, fluidly, and strategically. It could cause me pain and compassion fatigue, it could make me question myself and my wounds. It could sometimes make me question humanity. Clearly, it is not always easy, nor is it always ‘enjoyable’, but it gives me great fulfilment, and that is what helps me weather any storm, and this is what brings me joy.
When I say to people, ‘I believe we are here to live a life we love.’ That is never intended to mean I expect every moment to be enjoyable, or a play day. As an adult, I also have responsibility, a purpose to fulfil, and timelines to adhere to. I also want to grow and contribute to this experience we call life. I am presuming you also do.
Yet here is the thing: if the child or the wound is running the show, we expect everything to be play and perfect. Why does it have to be this hard? ‘Why can’t I just do what I love?’ Why am I just not enough as I am? And when we are really acting from our wounds, “everyone is against me,” “my boss just does not get me.”
So if your work feels like a burden, it’s time to question what’s really going on
It could be your workplace is unhealthy or toxic and if so, where do you go from here?
Your choice is to leave.
Speak to those necessary.
Do the work to change your own perception around the situation.
Whatever you decide, take responsibility for that decision
Question your own role within your work.
Are you expecting too much?
Do you expect everything to be perfect? Do you give too much/too little? Do you do too much/too little?
Do you criticise or blame others, but not examine your own beliefs/biases/triggers?
Ask yourself
Why is this so unbearable? Why does it feel like a burden?
What is in me that does not like this?
If you are really not in the right role for you, ask yourself
Why am I not doing more to discover what it is I want to do? Why am I not pursuing my dream?
Just remember, there is always a solution to every problem. We may not always like the solution, but if we’re committed to working on our inner environment, the burdens and woes are acknowledged as messages we can use to help us decide what we need to do, where to go, and how to get there.
Debra Jane Wales, Embodied Freedom and Life Coach
Debra Jane Wales is an embodied life coach, somatic movement and yoga educator who helps people dissolve the hard places or mental and cultural constructs that deter them from living a freer life. Diagnosed Autistic with ADHD and having overcome numerous horrific Traumas and a suicide attempt, Debs' mission became clear as day. To help you move closer to your True self and to feeling UN-stuck, your way. The way it's supposed to be!
