Do You Need Complete Self-Confidence to Lead Others?
- Nov 17, 2025
- 3 min read
Written by Marie-Louise Gessner, Life Coach
Marie Gessner, a powerful ACC coach, is working to support you in finding your answers in life's areas. She brings my listening, and together we explore your answers.
Do you really need to be totally self-confident to maintain your authority when leading others, whether in working life, family, or other contexts? This is a question many leaders and people in positions of responsibility ask themselves. In a world where it is often emphasised that a leader must be unwavering, confident, and always know what is right, it can feel as though uncertainty is equivalent to weakness. But is it really that simple?
The myth of total self-confidence
Demonstrating self-confidence can absolutely contribute to building trust and respect. However, total self-confidence is not a requirement for being a good leader. On the contrary, humility, self-reflection, and the ability to show vulnerability can create a deeper connection with those you lead. The Swedish saying “No one is perfect” is highly relevant, even leaders have the right to doubt themselves from time to time. Authority is more about being genuine, attentive, and consistent than about never showing uncertainty. Daring to say “I don’t know, but I’ll find out” can, in many cases, strengthen your credibility.
“Self-confidence is something you’re born with.” No, it’s something you challenge and build over time.
“Self-confident people are never nervous.” Not true. The difference is that they act in spite of their nerves.
“If I just wait until I feel ready, self-confidence will come, right?” No. This passivity challenges those who are unprepared anyway.
Questions that strengthen your authority and self-awareness
Instead of chasing complete self-confidence, it may be wiser to ask yourself questions that help you develop both your leadership style and your self-awareness. Here are some examples of questions that can support you:
What do I stand for as a leader, and how do I show it in everyday life?
What values do I want my leadership to reflect?
How do I react when I make mistakes, and what do I learn from them?
How can I better listen to those I lead?
What situations make me doubt myself, and why?
What do I need to feel more secure in my role?
By regularly reflecting on such questions, you increase your own awareness and can lead with greater presence and credibility. As the saying goes, “Self-awareness is the key to good leadership.”
Why the human encounter wins over chatbots
In today’s digital society, it is easy to turn to a chatbot or AI for quick advice and feedback. But why is personal coaching still preferable when it comes to developing your leadership and self-confidence?
Individual adaptation: A coach can ask follow-up questions, read between the lines, and adapt the conversation to your unique needs and feelings. A chatbot works from predetermined algorithms and lacks the ability to interpret nuances in the same way.
Empathy and presence: The human encounter contains empathy, understanding, and sometimes silence, things that cannot be fully programmed. A coach can see and acknowledge you as a person, which often leads to deeper insights.
Challenging conversations: A coach dares to challenge you, hold you accountable, and help you see your blind spots. It is more difficult for a chatbot to create the same kind of developmental dialogue.
Relationship and trust: In a coaching relationship, trust is built over time. This is something that cannot be replaced by digital tools, no matter how advanced they are.
Developing as a leader is a journey, sometimes with a tailwind, sometimes against the wind. It takes courage to be both confident and vulnerable. By asking yourself the right questions and choosing personal coaching when you want to take the next step, you give yourself the best conditions to lead with both your mind and your heart.
“To fail is human, but it is unwise not to develop.”
Marie-Louise Gessner, Life Coach
Marie’s mission is to see others rise and live the life they want. With coaching as a method, Marie helps individuals and groups find clarity, overcome obstacles, set plans, and develop potential and personal growth. Through powerful dialogues in listening, she brings you the supportive tools, and you decide if you will take action on your own answers between the sessions. You do the work, and she is behind you for support.
