Coping In The Aftermath
- Feb 25, 2022
- 5 min read
Updated: Feb 27, 2022
Written by: Valerie Biehl, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
We face countless storms in our lives, both literal and figurative. Whether the storm is a pandemic, loss of a loved one, divorce, job loss, tornado, hurricane, or another tumultuous event, we typically experience tremendous bursts of action, stress, and anxiety leading up to and during the apex of the storm.
When all we could do has been done, and the most severe waves of the storm have passed, we typically find ourselves awash in the aftermath—yet still facing many of the persistent conditions and aftershocks of the event. Mentally and physically depleted and still struggling, we wonder why things happened the way they did and are unsure how to move forward. We often feel we lack the bandwidth and purpose to start again, withdraw into ourselves, and wonder whether anything is worth doing.
Re-grounding
It may not seem like it, but our brain is trying to help us in these aftermath times. It is trying to start a re-grounding and recovery process. Like after a natural storm, we need to tend to our immediate physical needs, assess the state of our surroundings, and come to terms with our new reality before moving purposefully forward. After a symbolic storm, the withdrawal into ourselves helps us reflect on and accept all that has transpired and assess what is worthwhile to carry forward and what would be helpful to change. This turning inward also helps us tend to our immediate physical needs and connect with our values.
While it is helpful to begin the re-grounding process from a place of reflection, acceptance, tending to our immediate physical needs, and connecting to our values, we need to reconnect to one another to regain our bandwidth and our purpose.
In connecting meaningfully and authentically with others, we realize that our efforts and contributions to the world are needed. And not only needed but desperately needed. When we opt-in, we become part of a community, part of a whole, and part of the collective effort to improve the conditions in which we find ourselves. We find meaning and support. We fuel our purpose. And we gain the bandwidth we need to move beyond what we thought possible. Whatever your gift, your unique contribution is essential to the collective stability, systems, creativity, innovation, empathy, and emotional support the world needs to survive and thrive.
Rebuilding
We are often taught, and we ourselves often believe, that working harder and longer will enable us to reach our goal faster. However, a balanced approach that supports our individual and collective needs and goals are ideal. We are at our best in the rebuilding process when we consistently care for our minds and bodies.
We relieve our mental burden by exploring our interests outside of work, supporting one another, engaging in meaningful conversation, and spending time in nature. When we build a consistent recovery practice, we refresh our creativity, improve our problem-solving capabilities, and enhance our ability to make deliberate and optimal choices that lead to the best outcomes. In addition, we reduce the time, effort, and resources required to reach our goals. Further, we have the physical bandwidth, mental agility, and emotional capacity to find and implement more innovative, strategic, and sustainable solutions.
Neglecting our bodies is all too easy. And only when we properly care for and fuel our bodies do we realize how important and helpful it is to do this work. If nothing else, get the sleep you need. I believe many of our struggles could be solved through more sleep alone, as this enables everything else. Next, get the exercise you need to burn off stress, help pull you out of the cognitive burden of the aftermath, and help you sleep better. Finally, fuel your body with the water and nutrients it needs to feel the way you want to feel and support the goals you create for yourself.
Transcending
You are not the weather. You are the sky. ‒ Eric Barker
To conserve our bandwidth and be most intentional with our efforts, we should be deliberate about how we engage with the world and what we choose to take on. Over the past two years, people have been under a significant amount of stress; while the strain has not been acute in most cases, it has been remarkably persistent. Be exceedingly kind to yourself and others. Choose not what is accurate but what is helpful to say. Act when necessary, drop everything else. Manage yourself and let others do the same. Let others take responsibility for themselves and give them the space, patients, and compassion they need to fail and learn. Give yourself the same.
It's dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you're feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them.
I was so preposterously serious in those days... Lightly, lightly ‒ it's the best advice ever given to me...
So throw away your baggage and go forward. There are quick sands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That's why you must walk so lightly. Lightly my darling... completely unencumbered. ‒ Aldous Huxley, Island
Be agile in your thoughts and the way you move through the world. Life does not happen according to the plans we make. It has its own goals and lessons to teach. Take time to craft your values and goals; tap into these regularly. Be present and mindful. Choose the best path forward at each decision point. Learn from the past and define the future in every moment. Have the courage to sit in the discomfort and do the things you need to do, and learn the lessons you need to learn. Do not get attached to anyone outcome or path to success, as tunnel vision often leads to squandering the very resources and opportunities necessary for our success. Instead, be flexible, resilient, and resourceful. Commit to the process of becoming, and you will surely succeed.
All the best and be well.
Valerie Biehl, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Valerie Biehl, Leadership & Team Coach of Thrive Purpose, enables those committed to growth to take leaps toward their potential. She believes new ways of thinking, co-creating, and collaboration are necessary to rise to the level of change and challenge we now face. Her passion and unique coach approach arise from her life-long dedication to harnessing the mind, developing personal strengths, and facilitating the collective power of teams.
Valerie earned her MBA from Michigan State University. She enjoys binge-watching TED Talks, playing guitar, and designing knitted garments in her free time.
