Are Your “I can’ts” Holding You Hostage?
- Oct 14, 2023
- 5 min read
Written by: Bronwen Sciortino, Senior Level Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Gee, I really want to do that thing because I feel like it would be really good for me … but I can’t because of ‘X, Y and Z’.
It’s a common thought process. The world takes over the things we’d really like to have and experience because we’re way too busy doing things for others and being everything to everyone around us.
We have to be ‘adults’ and dive into life with no respite – because to do otherwise would be selfish … wouldn’t it?
We have a legion of justifications at the ready for why we can’t be, have, or accomplish something in our lives, and we all have them.
Once we use these justifications, they become ingrained in our subconscious minds, and once ingrained they become the ‘rules’ by which we permit ourselves to live our lives. They serve as the foundation for the choices we make regarding what it is acceptable for us to spend our time on and what we’re no longer ‘allowed’ to do.
We stand back and watch what others are doing and judge them by the rules we’ve put in place for ourselves. It’s so simple for us to recognise the way others restrict their own lives and limit themselves because watching them distracts us from looking at our own lives.
So, when did we learn that it’s not OK for us to be as kind to ourselves as we are to everyone around us?
It’s all about the stories
From a very young age, we are taught that stories are a part of life.
When we’re young, we’re taken on wonderful journeys through listening to fairytales. The tales in these stories are full of wonder and give us a means to connect with things like love, magic, bravery, and the limitless opportunities the world has to offer.
As children, these tales ignite our imagination and provide inspiration that we take into our play, creating our own tales of miraculous feats and heroic journeys, and we amuse ourselves by letting our imaginations run amok.
Then, all of a sudden, the ‘grown-ups’ around us begin to perceive us differently – even though we are still only young, and to us the world is the same as it has always been. They exhort us to mature, to take our lives seriously, and to start working towards the future. The ‘rules’ governing what we can and cannot do in our lives shift suddenly, and our fantastical world of play, imagination and creativity dissolves.
From this point on, the stories we tell about life feature less magic and more self-control, less creativity and more ‘soldiering on’. We spend less time playing and devote more of our time to work. When someone asks us for something, we swiftly shift our own needs down the ‘to-do’ list and turn our attention to giving everything we have to the person asking for something.
‘Reality’ taints our perception of the world
The more ‘adulting’ we do, the more our stories start to focus on the everyday grind and the reasons we are no longer able to do, be, or achieve certain things, rather than magic and miracles. We become trapped in a little, boring version of ourselves.
We forget that within every “I can’t” there are a multitude of “I can’s” just waiting to be created. We forget that our imaginations are powerful and can open doorways to worlds full of incredible things. We forget that we can immerse ourselves in any version of life we want, and that playing any part is as simple as changing a hat.
When we turned away from fairytales, we forgot that we’re extraordinary individuals whose creativity can empower life. We forgot that we can weave the most incredible magic into any moment … if we just take the time to do it.
The light will always be present in the dark
Just as day turns into night and then night turns into day, the magic that fairytales weave endures in our psyche no matter how much adulting tries to drown it out. There remains within us a tiny, hidden part that longs for adventure, bravery, and the end of the dark tunnel.
No matter how tough things get, we’re always searching for the source of light that will launch us into an exhilarating, joyful life. The light that will return purpose and meaning to our lives.
And we can have it, if we remember to free ourselves from being held hostage by our “I can’ts”.
The first step in doing anything differently is allowing ourselves to gently alter our perspective of a situation. And the simplest way to do this is to ask ourselves questions that help us see things in a different light.
For example, if we believe that the greatest victories in life can only be achieved through great sacrifice, then we’re likely to create a big, long list of “I can’ts” that keep us kept firmly in place.
So, you can let the “I can’ts” win … or you can take a deep breath, and then ask yourself: ‘How can I look at this a little differently?’ in order to create a step that helps you to lessen the influence of those pesky “I can’ts”.
Applying a straightforward shift in perspective is as simple as it gets for us to let go and take that step, regardless of the course. Movement brings energy and energy creates intent.
So, will you let your “I can’ts” hold you hostage? Or will you take simple, easy and practical steps to help you cut their influence in your life today?
If you want some help getting started, there are also loads of tips and more information in the articles and videos in my FREE email series. Simply click here to start you on your way.
Bronwen Sciortino is a Simplicity Expert, Professional Speaker and an internationally renowned author. You can follow her at her website; Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn.
Bronwen Sciortino, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Bronwen Sciortino is an International Author and Simplicity Expert who spent almost two decades as an award-winning executive before experiencing a life changing event that forced her to stop and ask the question ‘What if there’s a better way to live?’
Embarking on a journey to answer this question, Bronwen developed a whole new way of living – one that teaches you to challenge the status quo and include the power of questions in everyday life.
Gaining international critical acclaim and 5-star awards for her books and online programs, Bronwen spends every day teaching people that there is an easy, practical and simple pathway to creating a healthy, happy AND highly successful life.
Sourced globally for media comment as an expert and working with corporate programs, conference platforms, retreats, professional mentoring and in the online environment, Bronwen teaches people how easy it is to live life very differently.
