Are the Toxic Ten Stealing Your Dreams? – Here’s How to Break Free
- Brainz Magazine
- Jun 3
- 6 min read
Written by Kerdu Lenear, Athlete Transition Coach
Kerdu Lenear is a former pro basketball player, Athlete Transition Coach, keynote speaker, and Certified Neuroencoding Specialist. Through her Mindset Fitness™ methodology, she helps elite athletes train the part of themselves no one ever coached, so they can step into their identity, confidence, and purpose, on and beyond the game.
Behind every high performer, whether an athlete, entrepreneur, or leader, there’s often an internal battle no one sees. In my last Brainz article, I explored self-handicapping, how fear of failure (or success) quietly drives people to delay, avoid, or shrink in key moments. I’ve seen this not only in my private coaching but also in my research.
Because the truth is, even the most driven people can get stuck.
Not because of a lack of talent, but because of the emotional state they’re operating from.
And that’s where what I call The Toxic Ten comes in.
The toxic ten hidden habits that steal our dreams
The Toxic Ten are emotional patterns that quietly chip away at momentum and confidence. They sound logical, even responsible. But in reality, they block boldness, consistency, and action.
They include:
Procrastination: Delaying what matters most
Hesitation: Getting stuck in indecision
Fear of failure: Avoiding effort to avoid falling short
Fear of success: Holding back to avoid pressure or exposure
Self-doubt: Questioning your own value, even with evidence
Self-loathing: Feeling undeserving of growth or recognition
Impostor syndrome: Believing you don’t deserve what you’ve earned
Stress: Operating from tension, not trust
Overwhelm: Shutting down from trying to do it all
Fear of rejection: Avoiding visibility to avoid a “no”
These habits aren't character flaws. They're emotional defaults. And most people don't even realize they’re running them, until progress stalls and frustration takes over.
Why we fall short: The F word
In my MBA thesis, I explored what causes high performers to plateau emotionally and mentally. The answer was almost always the same:
Fear.
Not loud, dramatic fear. The quiet kind that shows up as “I’m not ready yet” or “What if it goes wrong?”
Fear is a survival mechanism, but most people live in it for far too long.
It's not about whether you feel fear. It's about how long you stay there and whether you know how to shift out.
False evidence appearing real
Fear hijacks the nervous system. As neuroscientist Kay Tye notes, fear isn’t just an emotion; it’s a neurochemical state that changes your breathing, posture, focus, and decision-making.
That’s why people freeze.
A founder avoids launching because she fears the attention success might bring. An athlete disappears mid-game, not due to lack of training, but fear of letting people down.
Fear feels real, but often, it’s just False Evidence Appearing Real.
Recognizing that is the first step. But transformation begins when we know how to shift our emotional state in the moment.
As I think, so I feel. As I feel, so I do
One of the most powerful frameworks I teach is this:
As I think, so I feel.
As I feel, so I do.
As I do, so I have.
Thoughts drive emotions. Emotions shape actions. Actions create outcomes.
And yet, most people try to change results by changing actions without addressing how they think or feel.
That’s where the shift really happens.
My turning point: A new way to shift faster
I first discovered this approach while volunteering at Unleash the Power Within, a Tony Robbins event. I was part of the crew when I saw Joseph McClendon III step onto the stage. Joseph is a world-renowned neuropsychologist, widely known as The Ultimate Performance Specialist. He’s coached Olympic athletes, Fortune 100 CEOs, Academy Award winners, and has shared stages with Tony Robbins and Les Brown. He is the creator of the Neuroencoding™ method and founder of the Neuroencoding Institute.
Within minutes, he helped people move emotionally, physically, and mentally.
That moment planted a seed.
I started training under Joseph and became a Certified Neuroencoding Specialist. Today, I’m honored to call him my mentor.
What stood out most to me wasn’t just his success; it was how practical, grounded, and science-based his work was. These were tools you could use, not just learn.
And that matters to me. Because I don’t teach theory. I teach what I’ve implemented myself.
Neuroencoding™ became the structure that helped me solidify the mental training I was already doing, both for myself and the athletes and teams I serve.
What is neuroencoding™?
Neuroencoding™ is a science-backed process that helps you retrain your nervous system to automatically respond with the emotions, thoughts, and behaviors that support your best behaviour, especially under pressure.
In simple terms, it’s about breaking negative patterns and teaching your brain and body to default to your best self, calm, focused, and confident, no matter the situation.
That’s what changes performance.
It brings together powerful tools from neuroscience, NLP, hypnotherapy, neuroassociative conditioning, and emotional performance coaching, all in one proven system and creates rapid results in any human being.
What it looks like in practice
Gerd Kanter, Estonia’s Olympic gold medalist and Chair of the European Olympic Committees Athletes' Commission, worked with me in his current leadership role. After a 10-day training, he shared: “The experience taught me to control my state in challenging moments and turn it into my strength.”
As the Mental Performance Coach for the Estonian women’s national soccer team, I use these same tools to help players shift from anxiety to focus, and from tension to trust. When their minds are prepared, their bodies perform.
These aren’t motivational tips. They’re integrated training tools that help people shift their emotional state not someday, but in the moment.
The power of interrupting the pattern
What you practice becomes who you are.
And most people are unintentionally rehearsing stress, self-doubt, or perfectionism. But just like you learned those patterns, you can learn new ones, on purpose.
This is what I help clients do: interrupt the emotional loop. Whether it’s through movement, language, breath, or state shifts, you train your brain to respond differently.
In other words, when you’re in fear, do something simple, physical, and immediate:
Stand up. Shake your body
Smile. Yes, even when you don’t feel like it.
Celebrate. Clap. Pat yourself on the back. Say out loud: “I just snapped out of it.”
That might sound small, but it’s how we rewire the nervous system.
It’s called a pattern interrupt and it works.
When you do it repeatedly, your brain starts to link that new action to safety, optimism, and forward motion. You learn confidence the same way you learned doubt: through repetition.
Everything you’re good at, you practiced. This is no different.
You don’t change by thinking harder. You change by feeling different and acting from there, again and again.
Why I do this work
As a former professional basketball player, I didn’t know how to train my mind and that’s exactly why I created Mindset Fitness™. I saw too many elite athletes and high achievers plateau not because they lacked talent, but because they were stuck in mental patterns they didn’t know how to shift.
They were trapped in the Toxic Ten repeating cycles of fear, doubt, and hesitation. They didn’t need more hustle or motivation. They needed fast and sustainable processes that work.
That’s why I now work one-on-one with elite athletes, entrepreneurs, and founders to uncover the emotional blocks that most don’t even realize are there. Through a structured 5-step process and the Mindset Fitness™ method, I help them retrain the part of themselves no one ever coached so they can move forward with clarity, confidence, and direction.
I don’t keep this work behind closed doors. As a keynote speaker, I bring it to stages, boardrooms, and training environments, guiding teams and audiences to recognize how fear, whether of failure or success, can quietly shape their choices.
Because you don’t break free from fear, you learn to spend less time in it. And that’s how you begin to win from within.
I help professional athletes train the part of themselves no one ever coached so they can rise with identity, confidence, and purpose, on and beyond the game.
Now is your time.
Read more from Kerdu Lenear
Kerdu Lenear, Athlete Transition Coach
Kerdu Lenear is a former pro basketball player turned Athlete Transition Coach, keynote speaker, and Certified Neuroencoding Specialist. As the founder of the Mindset Fitness™ methodology, she helps elite athletes train the part of themselves no one ever coached—their identity, confidence, and purpose. After navigating her own identity shift post-retirement, Kerdu is now building her Inner Game™ coaching experience and leading the emerging Athletepreneurs™ movement. Her mission: Empower pro athletes to thrive on and beyond the game.
