Written by: Jennie Patricia, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
For many of us, we’re always looking at how we can be better than we were the day before. To rise up to the ‘next level you’ and step into our best and higher self but for a lot of us, it can seem that it’s just easier for some than it is for others.
For a long time, this was my thought process. Others just have it easier at reaching new heights.
Oh, how wrong I was. The only thing that makes them different from you, is the systems they have in place. The daily habits that help them grow and the habits they avoid that do them no good.
Today we’ll cover both.
I’ve started with what I think, is the most difficult one. Mastering self-discipline is hard but I’ve yet to meet a successful person that doesn’t have discipline as a habit of theirs. It is at the heart of what they do. If you want anything in life, you need to have the discipline to go after it and keep going no matter how long it takes.
My top tip here is to practice and nurture it. Start calling yourself out on your bulls**t when needs are. It’ll take time to really develop it but that’s fine. We’re in it for the long game.
Self-discipline is basically the ability to control your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, emotions, and actions. Nothing has the power to control you UNLESS you let it. That’s why I start here, it might be the most difficult one on the list but you’re going to need this discipline to keep up those other habits.
If you ask me, this is one of the highest forms of self-love. When you have a handle on your self-discipline, you’re able to stay motivated and achieve any goals you set.
2. Mindset Work
You need to spend time working on your mindset. It might be a monthly thing you do, weekly or even daily but find time to set the habit of growing your mindset. Your old ways of looking at yourself and the world might but holding you back from you being able to step into your best & highest self.
So often people think that once they change their job, get a haircut, new make-up, lose some weight they’ll be happy but true happiness comes from within.
A great tool I use with my clients to help them see where their mindset needs adjusting is to write down a goal they are working towards. Then sit down and be quiet. Listen to the inner critic that comes and tells them all the reasons why this goal isn’t achievable. This is feedback from your soul, letting you know what your need to work on to fully release and move higher.
Asking yourself ‘how would my best self-react to this’ ‘how does my best self-respond to this’ gets you into a state of thinking life your best self. Even if you don’t take the action, you’re re-training your brain to think like your highest self
Setting the habit of working on your mindset will only have a positive effect on your life.
This is such a powerful habit to set in place. Do not underestimate the power of being grateful for what you already have in your life.
So often we’re looking for what’s next. What goal do we want to achieve that we sometimes forget to stop and look around and be grateful for what we already have.
There’s a saying “when you focus on the good, it gets better” and sometimes I feel this was written about gratitude. It’s just logical, if you are reminding yourself daily what you are thankful for, you’ll see more things to be thankful for.
Comparison is something we all easily fall into and practicing grateful helps to bring the focus back into yourself and the amazing things you have in your life. Personally, I find writing down what I’m grateful for the most powerful way but just saying it is good enough. It’s just about bringing attention to what you already have in your life.
And yes, you do have things to be grateful for. Running water? Food in the fridge? We can sometimes take these things for granted. I also like to carry a rock around with me (stay with me, it’ll all make sense) on the days or weeks that I feel the comparison set it. Every time I reach into my pocket and touch it, I have to think of something I’m grateful for. So powerful.
Lastly, I would say do it at the same time every day. Mornings or evenings work best for most people, but find what works for you and have the SELF-DISCIPLINE to consistently do it.
4. Have a routine in place
I don’t want to say morning routine as not everyone is a morning person and it can put some people into a state of thinking that if they don’t get up early and do it, they can’t do it at all.
In fact, when my daughter was really small, I used to do everything in the evening once she was down as she already woke early enough and I sure as hell wasn’t going to wake any earlier than I needed to!
So, we say set a routine in place. Make it consistent and make it so it helps you grow. The other 3 steps I talked about should all be put into the step. The self-discipline to make sure you’re doing it every day. The mindset set, whatever that looks like for the day. Meditation, A walk in nature, yoga, running, journaling, and writing down what you are grateful for.
Your routine (or ritual as I like to actually call it) should work for you. If it feels like a chore, as yourself why and see how you can change it up. This step is all about helping you grow and allowing yourself some time alone. To work through whatever needs to be worked through.
This routine will help you achieve more, think more clearly, and work through things that actually matter. For me, it helps me feel like a have some control over my day instead of feeling like I’m always playing catch-up.
Other things I like to add to my routine are affirmations, looking at my vision board and a quick podcast to boost my mood and give me some inspiration.
Next comes the part that we so often overlook. As important as it is to look at what habits your need to put in place to become your best self, it’s time to REALLY look at the habits that might be holding you back. The ones that we are doing daily are keeping us small.
1. Making excuses
This is one of the most destructive things we can do to ourselves and a habit a lot of us have picked up along the way.
Instead of doing something about the situation we find ourselves in, it’s easier to just make excuses. To blame someone, or the situation itself.
You are the architect of your own life and when you make excuses you take away your power. It’s time to drop this habit and take back your power.
This is probably the most addictive habit out of the 3 of them. It’s something we all suffer from and a habit we can’t seem to beat…and I don’t think we fully should.
I do actually think that some comparison is good, it helps you raise your own bar and it can help you define yourself and even motivate you. But, on the flip side, it can be very self-destructive and have a huge psychological effect on you, and lower your self-esteem.
What I say here is to really work on your self-awareness. Understand when you might be spiralling into a comparison headspace and practice gratitude. Celebrate people and if you find that hard, it’s time to turn inwards. If you feel yourself getting jealous of someone, ask yourself “why” what is triggering you here, what do you need to feel to heal?
This was a big one for me, I would procrastinate over almost everything. It was a really hard habit for me to kick.
First, I had to learn when I truly was procrastinating. I would lie to myself that I was being productive or ‘taking a break’ when really I wasn’t. I was procrastinating and when I started to look into it, it was all coming from a place of fear. It was my way of not having to take responsibility and I was self-sabotaging.
This is where your self-discipline and having a routine in place will really help you overcome this bad habit.
So, there they are my 4 habits to start and my 3 habits to kick. Start small, try not to do all these things at once. My advice is to start with self-awareness and look at what your bad habits might be. Where might you be tricking yourself into thinking something is a good habit for you when in reality, it’s really not doing you any good, even if it used to.
Take your time, slowly add habits in and take ones out. The best way to add in a new habit is to sandwich it into the daily habits you already do. If you always make your bed as soon as you wake up and then make a cup of tea, add in some gratitude after you’ve made your bed before you have your tea. This system will help you make the habit stick and remember, you’ve got this.
Jennie Patricia, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Jennie Patricia is a leader and expert in her field of mindset, self-worth, and transformation.
After hiring her own coach and going through her own transformation, Jennie knew this was the path she was meant to be on and at the beginning of 2020 become a certified coach and opened the doors for Jennie Patricia Coaching
Jennie is a transformation life coach and is on a mission to empower as many women as possible to step into their 'best self' and start living a life they feel truly aligned with, through free online trainings and her 1:1 personal coaching programme: A Life Transformed