Written by: Anna Krzysztoszek, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Usually, we don’t apply for a new job every week or month. So for the majority, it may be an unfamiliar and uncomfortable feeling to receive a rejection from a potential employer, especially if the job description seems to be appealing. Salespeople eat “no” for breakfast because they are trained to do so. From this perspective, managing refusal is a skill that can be trained and learned.
1. Treat a “no” as feedback, not as an assessment of your worth as a human
A refusal is negative feedback and has nothing to do with how good, kind, or intelligent we are. Employers look for a specific combination of hard and personal skills. Taking a refusal personally may be our first reaction but it does not mean we have to stay in this internal valley of self-doubt. Take a step back and let go of feelings of disappointment and doubts before you go to the next, mentioned below second point.
2. Ask for feedback and make a growth experience out of it
Yes, ask for more specific feedback linked to the refusal as it might be the beginning of a new professional growth experience. The best way to ask for it is to express full acceptance of the company’s decision first and make clear we just would like to know what skills are currently still missing in our resume, so we can work on them in the future. A sentence like the following one could work well and provide more helpful details: “Thank you for your message. I am continuously working on improving my hard and personal skills, so your feedback related to what you missed in my resume would be a great help.”
Additionally, asking yourself questions like the following once makes every recruiting process worth the energy you invested in it, even if your application got rejected:
Is this skill a particular employer missed in my resume something specific for this particular company or is the majority of companies requesting this kind of expertise?
How can I achieve this specific skill which I am currently missing in my profile?
Where can I find a budget-friendly training or workshop?
Do I need a certificate or is a confirmation of participation good enough?
Etc.
3. Treat yourself as your best friend
Treat yourself as your best friend ‒ don’t sugarcoat, be honest with yourself but do not beat yourself up. Be as supportive of yourself as you can. Especially after a long break from recruiting processes, it can happen that senior candidates, who received non to very few rejections so far, may take refusals personally. Keep all such factors in the back of your mind to create a positive inner dialogue with yourself that is more supportive and uplifting than discouraging.
Last but not least – relax. The fact that the job description appeared attractive does not mean it is surely the best possible position for you. Because of this reason, the probation period was implemented in the past. In some countries such as Germany, the probation period takes a long time – even 6 months. In some of us, a “no” or any kind of refusal or rejection may trigger idealizing a person, a job, or a company that expressed a refusal. The reality is, we cannot know if a job is suitable for us unless we start doing the work. It is one more reason why beating ourselves up because of a refusal is more linked to our self-worth than to the real dynamics of the labor market – it is worth keeping that in mind.
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Anna Krzysztoszek, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Anna Krzysztoszek has more than 20 years of international experience in business ‒ from large corporations to start-ups. She is the owner of Green Butterfly ‒ Coaching & Recruiting. The completion of her German and Dutch studies, her pedagogical education, the certificate of a Psychological Advisor and various business degrees, such as Master of Business Administration (MBA), reflect Anna's main focus and passion: combining her economical expertise with the always present interest in people and the art of making the best of our lives. This especially applies to professional matters ‒ after all, we spend a third of our life at our workplace.
