Written by Aide Roxanna Reyes, CEO & Founder, Mental Health Counselor Aide Reyes, LLC Aide Roxanna Reyes is a Licensed Mental Health Clinician, LMHC-D, MSEd. She is the Founder and CEO of Mental Health Counselor Aide Reyes, LLC. Aide Roxanna Reyes is the author of the book "I Am Who I Think I Am" and the host of the podcast Mental Health Counselor Aide Reyes. The subconscious mind influences beliefs, emotions, habits, behaviors, and mental health outcomes. As a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, one of the most common questions I hear from clients is, “Why do I keep repeating the same patterns even when I want to change?” Many individuals struggle with anxiety, low self-esteem, self-doubt, perfectionism, unhealthy relationships, emotional distress, and self-sabotaging behaviors despite genuinely wanting a different outcome. They read books, attend workshops, set goals, and make promises to themselves, yet often find themselves returning to familiar emotional and behavioral patterns. The answer is often found beneath conscious awareness. While most people focus on changing behaviors, true transformation frequently requires addressing the subconscious beliefs driving those behaviors. The subconscious mind functions like an internal operating system. It stores beliefs, emotional memories, habits, experiences, and learned patterns that influence how individuals think, feel, and behave. These internal programs often operate automatically, outside conscious awareness. From a mental health perspective, understanding the subconscious mind is essential because it plays a significant role in emotional wellness, self-esteem, resilience, coping abilities, relationships, and overall psychological functioning. When subconscious beliefs are healthy and empowering, they support confidence, emotional regulation, and personal growth. However, when they are rooted in fear, shame, criticism, rejection, trauma, or limiting beliefs, they can contribute to anxiety, depression, chronic stress, and emotional suffering. Healing often begins when individuals become aware of the subconscious narratives influencing their lives and intentionally replace them with healthier, more adaptive beliefs. What is the subconscious mind? The subconscious mind stores learned beliefs, habits, emotional experiences, and automatic responses. It refers to the portion of mental processing that operates below conscious awareness. Unlike the conscious mind, which is responsible for logic, decision making, and analytical thinking, the subconscious mind continuously processes information automatically. The subconscious mind stores learned beliefs, habits, emotional experiences, long-term memories, automatic responses, self-image, personal identity, relationship patterns, and emotional triggers. Think of the subconscious mind as the foundation of a house. Most people notice the visible structure above ground, yet the stability of the house depends upon what lies underneath. Similarly, individuals often focus on visible behaviors without recognizing the subconscious beliefs supporting those behaviors. For example, a person may consciously desire a healthy relationship while subconsciously believing, “I am not worthy of love.” A person may want career success while subconsciously believing, “I am not capable.” A person may desire confidence while subconsciously believing, “I am not good enough.” These hidden beliefs often create internal resistance that interferes with personal growth and emotional well-being. The subconscious mind learns through repetition, emotional experiences, and conditioning. Over time, repeated thoughts and experiences become familiar mental programs that influence daily life. Conscious, subconscious, and unconscious mind These three levels of mental processing influence perception, behavior, and emotional wellness. Understanding the three levels of mental processing helps explain why change sometimes feels difficult. The conscious mind The conscious mind represents active awareness. It is responsible for logic, critical thinking, planning, reasoning, decision making, and goal setting. Examples include, “I want to lose weight,” “I want to feel more confident,” “I want healthier relationships,” and “I want to stop overthinking.” The conscious mind sets intentions and goals. However, it represents only a small percentage of overall mental processing. The subconscious mind The subconscious mind stores beliefs, habits, conditioning, emotional memories, and learned behaviors. It operates automatically and influences daily decisions without requiring conscious effort. Many of the behaviors individuals engage in every day are driven by subconscious programming. Examples include automatic emotional reactions, relationship choices, self-talk patterns, habitual behaviors, and self-esteem beliefs. The subconscious mind often accepts repeated messages as truth. This is why the words individuals repeatedly tell themselves matter. The unconscious mind The unconscious mind contains deeper psychological processes, including survival instincts, automatic bodily functions, primitive emotional responses, repressed memories, and deep emotional material. From a trauma informed perspective, unconscious processes can influence emotional reactions even when individuals do not consciously understand why they are reacting. This helps explain why trauma survivors may experience strong emotional responses to situations that appear harmless to others. The nervous system remembers experiences even when the conscious mind cannot fully recall them. Neuroscience and neuroplasticity The brain can change throughout life through neuroplasticity, allowing healthier beliefs and habits to develop. Modern neuroscience has transformed our understanding of how the brain learns, adapts, and changes. For decades, researchers believed the brain became relatively fixed after childhood. Today, neuroscience has demonstrated that the brain remains adaptable throughout life through a process known as neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity refers to the brain’s ability to create new neural pathways, strengthen existing pathways, adapt to new experiences, learn new behaviors, and modify thought patterns. This discovery is profoundly hopeful from a mental health perspective. It means that individuals are not permanently defined by past experiences, unhealthy habits, limiting beliefs, or emotional struggles. The brain can change. Healing is possible. Growth is possible. Transformation is possible. Neural pathways and habit formation Neural pathways function similarly to trails through a forest. The more frequently a trail is used, the more visible it becomes. Likewise, the more frequently a thought is repeated, the stronger the neural pathway becomes. For example, the repeated thought, “I always fail,” can, over time, cause the brain to begin strengthening neural pathways associated with failure. Eventually, the thought becomes automatic. Automatic thought becomes a belief. Belief influences emotions. Emotions influence behaviors. The behaviors reinforce the belief. This cycle can continue for years unless interrupted. The encouraging reality is that healthier thoughts can also create stronger neural pathways. For example, the repeated thought, “I am capable of learning and growing,” with consistent repetition and evidence, can gradually become more automatic than negative ones. This principle forms the foundation of many evidence-based therapeutic approaches. The reticular activating system (RAS) The brain also contains a network called the reticular activating system (RAS). The RAS functions as a filter that helps determine which information receives attention. If someone believes, “I am a failure,” the brain often becomes more likely to notice evidence that supports that belief. Conversely, if someone develops the belief, “I am capable and resilient,” the brain becomes more likely to notice opportunities, strengths, and successes. This does not mean individuals should ignore reality. Rather, it highlights how beliefs influence perception. Statistics and self-talk Research supports the role of repeated thoughts and self-talk in shaping emotional and behavioral outcomes. Psychology and neuroscience research continue to demonstrate the significant influence of subconscious processes on human behavior. Research has shown that a substantial portion of daily mental processing occurs automatically outside conscious awareness. Repeated thoughts strengthen neural pathways through neuroplasticity. Negative self-talk has been associated with increased symptoms of anxiety, depression, and chronic stress. Positive self-affirmation practices have been linked to improvements in resilience, emotional regulation, and self-worth. Cognitive restructuring interventions have demonstrated effectiveness in reducing emotional distress and improving psychological well-being. Why self-talk matters Many individuals underestimate the impact of internal dialogue. The brain is constantly listening to the messages individuals tell themselves. Consider the difference between “I am a failure” and “I made a mistake, but I can learn from it.” The first statement promotes shame. The second promotes growth. Repeated self-talk gradually becomes subconscious programming. This is one reason why therapists often encourage clients to monitor their internal dialogue. The words individuals repeatedly use become familiar. What becomes familiar often becomes believed. “The subconscious mind learns through repetition. The thoughts we repeatedly think, the words we repeatedly speak, and the beliefs we repeatedly reinforce often become the reality through which we view ourselves and the world. Therefore, we are co-creators in this world.” – Aide Roxanna Reyes, LMHC-D, MSEd CBT and the subconscious mind One of the most effective evidence-based approaches for addressing limiting beliefs is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT helps identify automatic thoughts, challenge cognitive distortions, and develop healthier beliefs. CBT is based on the understanding that our thoughts influence our emotions, and our emotions influence our behaviors. Many automatic thoughts originate from subconscious beliefs that have developed over time. These beliefs often operate beneath conscious awareness and can significantly influence how individuals perceive themselves, others, and the world around them. For example, a core belief such as “I am not good enough” may create the automatic thought, “I will probably fail.” This can lead to anxiety, avoidance, missed opportunities, and reinforcement of the original belief. This cycle can continue for years unless the underlying belief is identified and challenged. CBT helps individuals recognize automatic thoughts, identify cognitive distortions, challenge inaccurate beliefs, replace negative self-talk, and develop healthier thinking patterns. Common cognitive distortions Common cognitive distortions include all-or-nothing thinking, such as “If I am not perfect, I am a failure”, catastrophizing, such as “Everything is going to go wrong”, mind reading, such as “They must think poorly of me”, personalization, such as “Everything is my fault”, and overgeneralization, such as “I failed once, therefore, I will always fail.” As individuals learn to challenge distorted thinking, they create opportunities for healthier emotional responses and behavioral choices. Research has consistently demonstrated that CBT is effective in treating anxiety, depression, trauma-related symptoms, and self-esteem difficulties. RTT and hypnotherapy RTT and hypnotherapy explore subconscious beliefs and support emotional healing and personal growth. Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) and hypnotherapy focus on accessing the subconscious mind to identify and transform limiting beliefs. Many subconscious beliefs originate during childhood, when individuals are highly impressionable. During these developmental years, children often interpret experiences without the cognitive maturity necessary to fully understand them. For example, a child who experiences repeated criticism may conclude, “I am not smart enough,” “I am not worthy,” or “I will never succeed.” These beliefs may continue influencing adulthood long after the original experiences have ended. How RTT works RTT integrates psychotherapy, cognitive reframing, neuroscience principles, guided relaxation, and subconscious exploration. The goal is to identify the origins of limiting beliefs and replace them with healthier, more adaptive perspectives. Hypnotherapy and mental health Hypnotherapy involves a focused state of attention and relaxation that can help individuals access deeper levels of awareness. Contrary to popular misconceptions, hypnotherapy is not mind control. Individuals remain aware and in control throughout the process. Clinical hypnotherapy may help support anxiety reduction, confidence building, stress management, habit change, emotional healing, and self esteem improvement. When integrated with evidence based mental health treatment, hypnotherapy can be a valuable therapeutic tool. “Many emotional struggles are not rooted in a lack of ability. They are rooted in subconscious beliefs that no longer serve us and must be changed to reprogram the subconscious mind.” – Aide Roxanna Reyes, LMHC, D, MSEd Linguistics and internal dialogue Language shapes perception, self concept, and emotional experiences. It is one of the most powerful influences on the subconscious mind. The words individuals repeatedly use shape their perceptions, beliefs, expectations, and emotional experiences. The brain listens to the language individuals use, both externally and internally. Consider the difference between “I always mess everything up” and “I made a mistake, and I can learn from it.” The first statement reinforces shame, while the second reinforces growth. The power of internal dialogue Internal dialogue influences self esteem, confidence, motivation, resilience, and emotional regulation. When negative self talk becomes repetitive, it can become subconscious programming. Examples include “I am not capable,” “I am a burden,” “I will never succeed,” and “Nobody cares about me.” Over time, these statements may become accepted as truth. Reframing language Instead of saying, “I am broken,” consider saying, “I am healing.” Instead of saying, “I cannot do this,” consider saying, “I am learning.” Instead of saying, “I always fail,” consider saying, “I am growing through this experience.” Small shifts in language can produce significant changes in emotional well being over time. Childhood programming and trauma Early experiences often contribute to lifelong beliefs and behavioral patterns. Many subconscious beliefs develop during childhood. Children learn about themselves and the world through interactions with parents, caregivers, teachers, peers, community influences, and cultural messages. Children are highly suggestible and often absorb messages without questioning them. Positive childhood programming: A child who is repeatedly told, “You are loved,” “You are capable,” and “You are important” is more likely to develop confidence and resilience. Negative childhood programming: A child who is repeatedly exposed to criticism, rejection, neglect, emotional invalidation, or bullying may develop beliefs such as “I am not good enough,” “I do not matter,” “I am unlovable,” or “The world is unsafe.” These beliefs can persist into adulthood and influence relationships, career choices, emotional health, and self worth. Trauma and the nervous system Trauma affects both the brain and the nervous system. Traumatic experiences can contribute to hypervigilance, anxiety, emotional dysregulation, relationship difficulties, and negative beliefs about oneself. The brain’s primary goal is survival. As a result, traumatic experiences may create protective beliefs that continue operating long after the danger has passed. Trauma informed therapy helps individuals identify these beliefs and develop healthier perspectives that support healing. Mental health implications Limiting beliefs can contribute to anxiety, depression, low self esteem, and relationship difficulties. Subconscious beliefs influence nearly every aspect of psychological functioning. Anxiety: Individuals who subconsciously believe, “I am not safe” or “Something bad will happen,” may experience chronic worry and hypervigilance. Depression: Individuals who believe, “I am worthless” or “Nothing will ever change,” may experience hopelessness and emotional withdrawal. Low self esteem: Individuals who internalize beliefs such as “I am not enough” or “I am not important” often struggle with confidence and self worth. Relationship challenges: Beliefs such as “People always leave” or “I cannot trust others” can create difficulties with intimacy, vulnerability, and healthy boundaries. Self sabotage: Many individuals unconsciously sabotage opportunities because success conflicts with their existing beliefs. For example, a person who subconsciously believes, “I do not deserve success,” may procrastinate, avoid opportunities, or engage in behaviors that prevent growth. The good news The encouraging reality is that beliefs can change. Through therapy, self awareness, positive self talk, mindfulness, emotional healing, CBT, RTT, hypnotherapy, and consistent practice, individuals can develop healthier beliefs that support emotional wellness and personal growth. “The subconscious mind learns through repetition. What we repeatedly think, speak, and believe often becomes the reality through which we view ourselves and the world. Therefore, we have the capacity to create our reality and the life we want for ourselves.” – Aide Roxanna Reyes, LMHC D, MSEd 15 practical ways to reprogram the subconscious mind Affirmations, mindfulness, gratitude, therapy, journaling, and repetition can support change. Reprogramming the subconscious mind is not about denying reality or pretending challenges do not exist. Instead, it involves intentionally developing healthier beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors that support emotional wellness and personal growth. Practice positive affirmations daily: Repeated affirmations can help strengthen healthier neural pathways and reinforce empowering beliefs. Monitor your self talk: Pay attention to the way you speak to yourself. Replace harsh criticism with self compassion. Challenge limiting beliefs: Ask yourself, “Is this belief true?” “What evidence supports it?” and “What evidence challenges it?” Engage in cognitive restructuring: Learn to identify and replace distorted thinking patterns. Practice gratitude: Gratitude shifts attention from scarcity to abundance and can improve emotional well being. Journal consistently: Writing can reveal subconscious beliefs and recurring emotional patterns. Use visualization: Visualize yourself successfully achieving your goals and overcoming challenges. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness helps individuals observe their thoughts without becoming overwhelmed by them. Surround yourself with positive influences: Healthy environments support healthy thinking. Read empowering material: What you repeatedly expose your mind to influences subconscious programming. Engage in therapy: Professional support can help uncover and transform limiting beliefs. Develop healthy coping skills: Learn strategies that promote emotional regulation and resilience. Establish healthy boundaries: Boundaries communicate self respect and support emotional wellness. Celebrate progress: Acknowledge growth rather than focusing exclusively on imperfections. Be consistent: The subconscious mind learns through repetition. Lasting change requires practice. “The goal is not perfection. The goal is progress and consistency in obtaining the outcome we want.” – Aide Roxanna Reyes, LMHC D, MSEd Biblical perspective Scripture emphasizes the importance of thoughts, beliefs, and words. Long before neuroscience identified the relationship between thoughts, beliefs, and behavior, Scripture emphasized the importance of the mind. Proverbs 23:7 states, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.” This verse highlights how beliefs influence identity and behavior. Romans 12:2 states, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Transformation begins with changing thought patterns. Philippians 4:8 states, “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, think about such things.” The Bible encourages an intentional focus on healthy and uplifting thoughts. Proverbs 18:21 states, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” Words influence beliefs, relationships, and emotional well being. Joshua 1:8 states, “Meditate on it day and night.” Repetition influences learning and transformation. Second Timothy 1:7 states, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” This verse reminds individuals that fear does not have to define their lives. Isaiah 26:3 states, “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast.” Mental focus influences emotional stability. From both psychological and biblical perspectives, the mind matters. Brainz expert insights Healing begins when awareness meets intentional change. “Many emotional struggles are not rooted in a lack of ability. They are rooted in subconscious beliefs that no longer serve us.” “The subconscious mind believes what it hears repeatedly. The words we consistently tell ourselves become the lens through which we view ourselves and the world.” “Healing begins when awareness meets intentional change.” “Neuroplasticity gives us hope. The brain can change, new neural pathways can develop, and healthier beliefs can be learned.” “The goal of healing is not becoming a different person. The goal is becoming the healthiest version of who you already are.” I Am Who I Think I Am A positive affirmation book promoting confidence, resilience, and healthy self belief. One of the most powerful ways to influence subconscious programming is through intentional exposure to healthy messages, affirmations, and empowering beliefs. This understanding inspired me to write I Am Who I Think I Am. This children’s affirmation book was designed to help children develop confidence, self esteem, emotional resilience, positive self talk, gratitude, and healthy beliefs about themselves. It includes positive affirmations, poems, self reflection activities, writing exercises, and confidence building messages. While written for children, many adults have also found the book meaningful as they engage in inner child healing and personal growth. The messages we repeatedly tell ourselves matter. Positive beliefs begin with positive words. Mental Health Counselor Aide Reyes, LLC Providing counseling, psychoeducation, and CBT informed and trauma informed services. At Mental Health Counselor Aide Reyes, LLC, our mission is to help individuals heal, grow, and become the healthiest versions of themselves. Services include individual counseling, anxiety treatment, trauma informed therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, emotional regulation skills, self esteem counseling, positive psychology interventions, and bilingual mental health services. We believe healing is possible. Through psychoeducation, therapy, neuroscience informed approaches, mindfulness, and emotional support, individuals can strengthen their mental health and improve their quality of life. Final closing thought The subconscious mind is one of the most powerful influences on mental health and human behavior. While many individuals attempt to change through willpower alone, lasting transformation often requires identifying and changing the beliefs operating beneath conscious awareness. The encouraging reality is that the brain can change. Thoughts can change. Beliefs can change. Habits can change. Lives can change. Through self awareness, evidence based therapeutic interventions, positive self talk, healthy coping skills, faith, and intentional practice, individuals can develop healthier beliefs that support emotional wellness, resilience, and personal growth. Your mind is listening to the story you tell yourself every day. Make sure it is a story that supports healing, hope, growth, and possibility. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Aide Roxanna Reyes Aide Roxanna Reyes, CEO & Founder, Mental Health Counselor Aide Reyes, LLC Aide Roxanna Reyes is a licensed mental health counselor who has implemented RTT in her therapy sessions to help her patients reprogram their thinking and heal their childhood traumas and adult traumas. Aide Roxanna Reyes helps her patients heal from their traumas, reprogram their thinking, and help them create their best versions of themselves by using CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy), hypnotherapy, etc.

Written by Ladys Patino, Book Reviewer and Writer Ladys Patino is a distinguished writer and book critic with a specialization in organizational behavior, management, leadership, and community dynamics. The best memoirs do more than tell a life story. They hand us a mirror and a map at the same time, showing us how one person faced injustice, fear, or their own inner demons and came out the other side with something to teach the rest of us. The five books on this list span the fight for civil rights, the front lines of hunger activism, the hidden machinery of global power, the weight of immigrant expectations, and the quiet struggle of living with a misunderstood condition. Each author turns personal pain into purpose. Whether you are looking to understand history, question the world around you, or simply find the courage to become more fully yourself, these stories will move you and stay with you. Walking with the wind A memoir of the movement by John Lewis with Michael D'Orso This award-winning national bestseller is one of the most important firsthand records we have of the American civil rights movement. In 1957, a teenager named John Lewis left an Alabama cotton farm for Nashville and threw himself into the struggle to end segregation. As chairman of the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee, he was arrested more than forty times, beaten, and nearly killed, his skull was fractured by state troopers on the Selma bridge during what became known as Bloody Sunday. Yet through it all, Lewis never abandoned his belief in nonviolence. Written with warmth and honesty, his story takes readers behind the scenes of the sit ins, the Freedom Rides, and the great marches, revealing both the triumphs and the infighting. More than a history lesson, it is a testament to what moral courage and quiet determination can accomplish. For anyone who wants to understand how ordinary people changed a nation, this is essential reading. Soup street A memoir by Food Not Bombs cofounder Keith McHenry Keith McHenry has spent his life doing something that sounds simple but has landed him in jail hundreds of times, feeding hungry people in public for free. In this vivid memoir, the cofounder of Food Not Bombs traces the journey that turned him into a lifelong activist, including a childhood spent in America's wild landscapes, life on the front lines of protest, and even surviving torture. McHenry writes with grit and grace about his outrage at injustice, the birth of a global movement, and the strength it takes to keep going in the face of police beatings and constant arrest. His story is packed with adventures, including traveling with punk bands across Mexico, speaking on the radio in Nigeria, and riding trains through the war-torn Balkans, but its heart is a steady belief that sharing food is a radical act of compassion. For activists and anyone who has ever wanted to stand up for what is right, this book is both an inspiration and a recipe for resistance. Confessions of an economic hit man Third edition by John Perkins John Perkins once had a job most people never knew existed. As a highly paid consultant, he helped convince developing nations to accept massive loans for projects that enriched American corporations and trapped entire countries in debt they could never repay. In this updated third edition of his landmark bestseller, Perkins confesses how the system works from the inside, tracing his own path from ambitious recruit to guilt-ridden whistleblower. He reveals the tactics used to bend nations to the will of a global empire, and in this new edition, he exposes how these same strategies have spread and evolved, with a hard look at China's growing use of them around the world. Part memoir, part exposé, the book is a disturbing and eye-opening account of greed, power, and corruption on a global scale. For readers who want to understand the hidden forces shaping our world, Perkins offers a rare insider's view and a call for each of us to help build something better. Desi 2.0 My family's American dream and the cost of never being enough by Sonny Garg Sonny Garg did everything the American Dream asked of him. Raised with the crushing expectations placed on many children of South Asian immigrants, he excelled, progressing from the University of Chicago and Harvard to a White House fellowship and a top executive role at a Fortune 125 company. But as his achievements piled up, so did an inner emptiness. Garg came to see achievement as an addiction, with each success becoming a desperate attempt to prove he deserved love, while his relationships and health quietly fell apart. Brutally honest and warmly funny, this memoir follows his reckoning and the hard work of dismantling his childhood programming to build what he calls his “Minimally Viable Me.” Along the way, he discovers that his worth was never something he had to earn. Desi 2.0 speaks to anyone who has felt trapped by inherited expectations or climbed the ladder of success only to wonder why the view from the top felt so hollow. It is a powerful invitation to rethink what it really means to thrive. A schizoid at Smith How overparenting leads to underachieving by Blair Sorrel For most of her life, Blair Sorrel could not understand why things that came easily to others felt impossible for her. Despite the promise she showed at Smith College, she struggled with employment, relationships, and a deep sense of isolation until a clinician finally named what she had been living with, schizoid personality disorder. In this candid and often wry memoir, Sorrel shares her journey through decades of rejection, loneliness, and hard-won self-understanding. Because so little is known about this condition, and because those who have it rarely speak out, she decided to tell her story to help other silent sufferers, along with the therapists, teachers, and families trying to understand them. Drawing a thread from her upbringing to her later struggles, she also raises hard questions about how overparenting can shape a life. Honest and illuminating, this book sheds light on an overlooked condition and makes a moving case for greater compassion toward anyone who feels different. Visit my website for more info! Read more from Ladys Patino Ladys Patino, Book Reviewer and Writer Ladys Patino is a distinguished writer and book critic with a specialization in organizational behavior, management, leadership, and community dynamics. Her expertise lies in dissecting and evaluating literature that delves into the intricacies of organizational structures, the nuances of leadership styles, and the complexities of community interactions. Patino's reviews and writings offer insightful perspectives on how these themes play out in various settings, providing valuable analysis for those interested in understanding and improving the functioning of groups, businesses, and societies.

Written by Wolfe Lanier, Communication, Public Speaking, and Voice Coach Wolfe Lanier is a public speaking and communication coach with a Master’s in Voice Studies from the Royal Central School of Speech and Drama, specializing in performance anxiety, stage fright, and vocal confidence. He helps professionals and creatives communicate with clarity, confidence, and authenticity in high-pressure situations. Have you ever walked into a networking event, a pitch meeting, or a job interview and felt yourself talking a little too fast, leaning in a little too hard, needing the room to like you? Or maybe you've done the opposite, crossed your arms, gone quiet, and kept your guard up so no one gets close enough to disappoint you. What if the way you show up at work isn't just professional instinct? What if it's your attachment style doing exactly what it does at home? Attachment theory What is attachment theory, and why is it showing up at work? Attachment theory describes the patterns we develop for staying close to and feeling safe with the people we depend on. These patterns tend to be first formed with caregivers and later replayed in adult relationships. Psychiatrist Amir Levine, coauthor of the bestselling Attached, breaks the framework down into three core styles, secure people are generally at ease with closeness, anxious people crave intimacy but worry their partner won't love them back, and avoidant people treat closeness as a threat to their independence and work to keep it at a distance.[7] What's less talked about is that these same patterns don't stay confined to romantic partnerships. Organizational psychology research is now tracking how attachment style shapes workplace friendship networks, negotiation behavior, and job performance.[1][2] The nervous system doesn't know the difference between a boardroom and a living room. It just knows whether it feels safe. How does an anxious attachment style show up in a professional setting? Picture yourself at a networking event. You want the job. You want to connect with someone you admire. You're there to generate sales, grow your list, and get noticed. So how do you show up with that need, the need to be liked, the need to be accepted? It's not so different from being with a partner who's one foot in, one foot out, chasing their desire and needing to be wanted. There's a name for this pattern in trauma research, fawning. Psychotherapist Pete Walker coined the term as the fourth trauma response, alongside fight, flight, and freeze, describing it as “a response to a threat by becoming more appealing to the threat”.[3] It's people pleasing as a survival strategy, not a personality trait. In a relationship, this might look like overextending, love bombing, or holding on too tightly. In a business context, it looks like talking fast to prove you're smart, pitching your voice higher, and leaning in with every ounce of energy you have. Does overextending yourself actually work in a professional setting? Not usually. Just like in a relationship, showing up in this anxious mode tends to push people away. Research on adult attachment confirms it, anxiously attached people fear their needs won't be met, so they cling or repeatedly seek reassurance, which reads to others as intensity rather than confidence.[4] The other person pulls back. They get overwhelmed. They tap out. How does an avoidant attachment style show up in a professional setting? Now picture the opposite. You're talking to someone with their arms crossed. Quiet. Flat expression. Maybe a little self conscious. They read as apathetic. In a relationship, this energy can make a partner anxious, asking for more or eventually saying, “I deserve better than this” (you do, by the way, always). That's avoidant energy, and it shows up in a conference room just as easily as it shows up in a living room. Studies on workplace attachment describe it plainly, avoidant individuals manage the discomfort of closeness by suppressing emotion and pursuing self reliance over support.[4] Research on organizational friendship networks has found that people higher in attachment avoidance are consistently less likely to form connections at work at all.[1] What does a secure attachment style look like in a professional setting? Then there's the person who makes you feel safe in the room. They know they have something to offer. They know they belong there. They walk in knowing they'll leave with something, a connection, a lesson, or a benefit, no matter what happens. Their body language is open, not overzealous. They speak calmly and intentionally. They hold themselves with compassion. This is where Stephen Porges's work on the nervous system meets the room. Porges coined the term “neuroception” to describe how our nervous system constantly and unconsciously scans for safety or threat in the people around us, long before we're consciously aware of it.[5] A secure person's steadiness isn't a performance. It's a nervous system that has actually settled, and that settling is what others' bodies pick up on. Their most emotionally intelligent quality isn't how they talk. It's how they listen, taking in what's said without absorbing it and growing from it instead. 3 signs your attachment style is bleeding into your work life Overexplaining yourself in meetings: If you find yourself justifying a simple opinion three different ways or apologizing before you've even finished a sentence, that's often anxious attachment looking for reassurance it hasn't received yet. Withholding your ideas until you're sure they'll land: Waiting to speak until you're certain you won't be criticized, or downplaying your own contributions before anyone else can, is a common avoidant pattern. Are you protecting yourself from disappointment by never fully showing up? Feeling drained after networking instead of energized: A secure connection tends to leave you with more capacity than you started with. If professional interactions consistently leave you depleted, it's worth asking whether you're performing safety instead of feeling it. Can you change your attachment style at work? Yes, though it isn't quick or automatic. Burnout research shows that employees with anxious or avoidant attachment styles consistently perceive workplace stress as more intense and spend more energy managing it, often at a cost to their performance.[6] Shifting this pattern usually starts the same way it does in relationships, noticing the behavior without judgment and practicing a different response in low stakes moments before trying it in high stakes ones. Why does this matter? Be attentive to your attentiveness in these spaces, both at work and at home. What we are in one, we often are in the other. For me, this has meant radically shifting my own people pleasing. I've spent the last two years working on it, deliberately and often uncomfortably. It's the same work that's been reshaping my anxiousness in relationships. Consider this your invitation. Notice what you do in a work context. Notice where it echoes what you do at home. Start finding security in yourself, wherever the room is. Follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Wolfe Lanier Wolfe Lanier, Communication, Public Speaking, and Voice Coach Wolfe Lanier is a public speaking and communication coach with a background in musical theatre, specializing in performance anxiety, stage fright, and vocal confidence. He holds a Master’s in Voice Studies from the Royal Central School of Speech and Drama, where his work focused on the voice as the center of identity and communication. He has worked with clients including Google, Goldman Sachs, and Zoom, and has supported TEDx speakers. He works with professionals, leaders, and creatives to help them speak with clarity, confidence, and authenticity in high-pressure situations. References: [1] European Journal of Work and Organizational Psychology. "That's what friends are for: anxious and avoidant attachment, workplace friendship and job performance." Taylor & Francis, 2025. [2] Current Psychology (Springer Nature). "Attachment in the workplace questionnaire: Psychometric properties and convergent validity of a new measure of adult attachment at work." 2026. [3] Walker, P. (2013). Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. Azure Coyote. [4] Baylor University, Keller Center for Research. "The Influence of Attachment Style and Competitive Personality on Workplace Aggression." 2025. [5] Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. W. W. Norton & Company. [6] Schaufeli, W. et al. "Attachment Styles and Employee Performance: The Mediating Role of Burnout." [7] Levine, A., & Heller, R. (2010). Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love. TarcherPerigee.

Life, Mindset, and Money Coach Tabitha Moore is proud to announce the release of EmpowerHER: Women Rising to Shape the Future, a powerful collaborative book featuring the stories and insights of women who are leading with courage, purpose, and authenticity. Now available for pre-order, EmpowerHER brings together inspiring voices from around the world, each sharing their unique journey of overcoming challenges, embracing change, and creating meaningful impact. Moore's chapter, When the Nest Empties and the Soul Awakens, offers a deeply personal story of transformation, showing women that life's biggest transitions can be catalysts for discovering purpose, joy, and a new beginning. "For years, I believed my identity was found in the roles I fulfilled for everyone else," said Moore. "Writing this chapter reminded me that when one chapter of life closes, another one filled with possibility begins. I hope that every woman who reads my story realizes it's never too late to rediscover herself, trust her inner voice, and create a life she truly loves." EmpowerHER: Women Rising to Shape the Future is more than a collection of stories, it's a movement that celebrates women who have transformed adversity into opportunity and uncertainty into purposeful action. Through authentic personal experiences and practical wisdom, the book explores leadership, resilience, personal growth, and the collective power of women supporting one another. Readers will discover inspiring examples of women who challenged limitations, reclaimed their voices, and chose courage over comfort. In her chapter, Moore shares her own journey from navigating the emotional challenges of becoming an empty nester and questioning her identity after more than 25 years in manufacturing, to following her intuition and becoming a certified Life, Mindset, and Money Coach. Her story demonstrates that personal transformation often begins when we dare to listen to ourselves and take the first step toward a more authentic life. "EmpowerHER reminds us that every woman and man has a story worth telling and wisdom worth sharing," Moore added. "I'm incredibly honoured to stand alongside so many remarkable women whose experiences will encourage readers to believe in themselves and embrace the future with confidence." EmpowerHER: Women Rising to Shape the Future is available for pre-order, with the official release coming soon. Readers are invited to reserve their copy and join a growing movement of women who are redefining leadership, embracing possibility, and shaping the future—one courageous choice at a time. EmpowerHER is available for pre-order July 29th, with a release on August 4th. It’s available in paperback, hardcover, and eBook on Amazon.com Book Trailer here. Amazon Presale Ebook Links for EmpowerHer: Women Rising to Shape the Future (Pre-sale from July 28 - August 3). Live release date: August 4 USA Canada United Kingdom Germany France Spain Italy Netherlands Japan Brazil Mexico Australia India About the author Tabitha Moore is a DreamBuilder, Mindset, and Money Coach and the founder of Your Best Life Amplified Coaching & Consulting. After spending more than 25 years building a successful career in manufacturing, she followed her calling to help women reconnect with themselves, build self-trust, shift limiting beliefs, and create lives filled with greater purpose, confidence, and joy. Through coaching, writing, and speaking, Moore empowers women navigating life transitions to discover what's truly possible and design lives they love living. Media contact Tabitha Moore Founder & DreamBuilder, Mindset & Money Coach Your Best Life Amplified Coaching & Consulting Email: YBL.Amplified@gmail.com Website: https://yourbestlifeamplified.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tabitha-moore-ybl-amplified

Written by Sandy Michael, Certified Clinical Sex Coach & Sexologist Sandy Michael is a Certified Clinical Sex Coach, Sexologist, and founder of Unmuted. She helps individuals and couples explore intimacy, communication, desire, and connection through honest conversation, curiosity, and shame-free self-expression. Most people have a pretty clear idea of what makes sex “good.” For some, it is passion and chemistry. For others, it is feeling desired, feeling connected, or feeling comfortable enough to be fully present with another person. But often, when we look a little deeper, there is another measurement hiding underneath it all, "Did everyone orgasm? Did both people enjoy themselves? Did I do the right thing? Did I satisfy my partner? Did I perform well?" Somewhere along the way, many of us learned to measure sex by the outcome rather than the experience. When sex becomes something we feel we have to succeed at, it can become much harder to actually experience pleasure. As a sexologist, one of the patterns I often see is that many people are not struggling because they don't want better sex. They are struggling because they have adopted a definition of good sex that leaves very little room for curiosity, communication, and individuality. Sex becomes something to achieve rather than something to experience. Where did we learn this definition of sex? Most people do not wake up one day and decide that sex should look a certain way. We absorb these messages over time through movies and media, conversations with friends, pornography, the things we were taught directly, and the things we were never taught at all. Many people grow up believing that desire should happen effortlessly, bodies should respond predictably, and orgasm should be the natural conclusion of a successful sexual experience. There is nothing wrong with wanting pleasure. There is nothing wrong with enjoying orgasm. Those can be meaningful and beautiful parts of sex. The problem happens when they become the only measurement of whether sex was good, because sex is far more complex than a performance with a predictable ending. Sex is an experience between people. When technique becomes more important than connection One of the biggest misconceptions about sexual pleasure is that there is a “right” way to create it. People search for the perfect technique, the perfect position, the perfect advice, or the perfect way to make their partner orgasm. There is something beautiful about wanting to learn. Curiosity about sexuality is healthy. Wanting to understand your partner and create pleasure together is a wonderful part of sexual connection. But technique alone cannot create a satisfying sexual experience. Why? Because people are not formulas. What feels amazing for one person may not feel the same for another. What works in one moment may not work in another. Our bodies, emotions, stress levels, relationships, and experiences all influence how we experience pleasure. A technique can be helpful, but it is not the answer. It is a conversation starter. The most important information about someone's pleasure will rarely come from a book, a video, or a checklist. It comes from listening. The pressure to perform affects everyone Performance pressure is not limited to one gender or one type of relationship. Some people feel pressure to make their partner orgasm. Others feel pressure to orgasm themselves. Some worry they are taking too long. Others worry they are not responsive enough. Some feel like they should already know what they are doing and feel embarrassed to ask questions. The common thread is that sex becomes a place where people feel evaluated. It is difficult to fully experience pleasure when you feel like you are being graded. Pleasure requires presence. It requires noticing what is happening in your own body, communicating what feels good, and staying connected to the experience rather than focusing only on the outcome. Why pleasure can start to feel selfish This is where another belief often enters the conversation, the idea that prioritizing your own pleasure is selfish. But for many people, this belief is not as obvious as it sounds. They may not consciously think, “My pleasure doesn't matter.” Instead, it shows up in smaller moments. They focus on whether their partner enjoyed themselves but rarely ask whether they did. They know exactly what their partner likes but struggle to explain what they like. They are comfortable giving pleasure but uncomfortable receiving it. Over time, they can become so focused on being a good partner that they lose connection with themselves. But healthy sexual experiences are not built on one person disappearing so the other person can feel satisfied. Both people's pleasure matters. In practice In my work with clients, I often hear people describe their sex lives as something they need to “fix.” They assume they need more confidence, better communication, or more knowledge about what they are supposed to do. Sometimes those things are helpful. But often, the first shift comes from changing the question. Instead of asking, “Am I doing this right?” a more meaningful question might be, “Are we paying attention to what is actually happening here?” Great sex is not created by two people perfectly executing a script. It is created by two people who are willing to stay curious. A different way to think about great sex Maybe great sex is not about finding the perfect technique. Maybe it is not about achieving the perfect outcome. Maybe it is not about proving that you are desirable, experienced, or skilled enough. Maybe great sex is about creating enough safety and curiosity for both people to be honest about what they want, what they enjoy, and what they need. Pleasure is not something we earn by performing well. Pleasure is something we experience when we are present enough to notice it. Continue the conversation If you have ever felt pressure to perform, struggled to communicate what you want, or wondered why sex feels more complicated than it “should,” you are not alone. Our relationship with sex is shaped by the messages we receive, the experiences we have, and the beliefs we carry into sexual experiences. Through Unmuted, I work with individuals and couples to explore the emotional, relational, and sexual factors that influence desire, pleasure, and connection. If you're ready to have a more honest conversation about your relationship with sex, desire, and pleasure, I would love to connect. Visit my website for more info! Read more from Sandy Michael Sandy Michael, Certified Clinical Sex Coach & Sexologist Sandy Michael is a Certified Clinical Sex Coach, Sexologist, and the founder of Unmuted, coaching focused on intimacy, communication, desire, and authentic self-expression. Her work helps individuals and couples navigate connection, pleasure, emotional intimacy, relationship dynamics, and the conversations many people struggle to have openly. Through a compassionate and non-judgmental approach, Sandy creates space for curiosity, confidence, and deeper connection - both with yourself and with others.

Written by Kelsey Irving, Licensed Clinical Therapist Kelsey Irving is a licensed therapist and recognized specialist in OCD and anxiety disorders. She is the founder of Steadfast Psychology Group and author of the children’s book Jacob and the Cloud. “I just have a gut feeling.” It’s a phrase I hear often in my therapy office. Sometimes it’s true. Sometimes it isn’t. The challenge is that anxiety, especially obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), can become remarkably convincing, making it difficult to tell the difference between genuine intuition and fear dressed up as certainty. People often ask me, “How do I know if this is my intuition or my anxiety?” It’s an understandable question, so let’s look at how each experience shows up. True intuition is usually quiet. It doesn’t argue its case. It doesn’t demand immediate action. It often feels like a calm knowing, a subtle sense that something deserves your attention. You may not even be able to explain why, but intuition doesn’t typically spiral into endless “what ifs.” It leaves room for uncertainty. I’ve often found that intuition feels like a gentle pull toward something. It might pull you toward a conversation you’ve been avoiding, a decision that aligns with your values, or a boundary that needs to be set. Even when it’s nudging you toward something difficult, it tends to feel grounded rather than frantic. Anxiety, on the other hand, is loud. It scans for danger, predicts worst-case scenarios, and tries to keep you safe by convincing you to prepare for every possible outcome. More often than not, anxiety feels like a push away from uncertainty, discomfort, vulnerability, or perceived risk. It urges you to escape, avoid, check, or seek reassurance right now. It often sounds like, “What if something goes wrong?” “You should probably check one more time.” “You can’t relax until you’re sure.” Anxiety mistakes possibility for probability. Just because something could happen doesn’t mean it’s likely to happen. Then there’s OCD urgency, a different experience altogether. OCD doesn’t just ask frightening questions. It insists that you answer them. It creates an overwhelming feeling that this thought is different, more important, and too risky to ignore. It tells you that certainty isn’t just preferable. It’s necessary. “Figure this out now.” “Don’t move on until you’re 100% sure.” “If you ignore this thought, something terrible could happen.” The urgency itself becomes the problem. Many people with OCD spend hours mentally reviewing conversations, replaying memories, researching online, seeking reassurance, or checking their emotional reactions, not because they’re careless, but because they care deeply. OCD tends to latch onto what matters most, your relationships, your values, your health, your children, your faith, or your identity. Ironically, the more you try to achieve certainty, the more elusive it becomes. That’s because OCD isn’t satisfied by answers. It’s fueled by the search for them. One of the biggest misconceptions is that intuition feels urgent. In reality, urgency is far more often a feature of fear than of wisdom. Imagine your smoke detector going off every time you make toast. Eventually, you realize the alarm isn’t proof that your house is burning. It means the detector has become overly sensitive. OCD works much the same way. The alarm feels real, but the intensity of the alarm isn’t reliable evidence that danger is present. So, how can you begin to tell the difference? Ask yourself: Is this thought asking me to notice something or demanding that I solve something? Do I feel calmly aware or intensely driven to find certainty? Am I being gently pulled toward something that aligns with my values or pushed away from discomfort, uncertainty, or fear? If I couldn’t answer this question today, could I still move forward with my life? These questions won’t eliminate uncertainty, and that’s okay. In fact, learning to tolerate uncertainty is one of the most powerful ways to loosen anxiety’s grip. You don’t have to prove every fear wrong before you deserve peace. Sometimes the healthiest response isn’t figuring out whether a thought is true. Sometimes it’s recognizing that not every thought deserves a trial, a debate, or an investigation. Intuition often invites you toward a life that reflects your values. Anxiety urges you away from discomfort at almost any cost. OCD goes one step further. It convinces you that you cannot move forward until you’ve eliminated every trace of uncertainty. Learning the difference isn’t about becoming perfectly certain. It’s about learning which voice is worthy of your trust. Follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Kelsey Irving Kelsey Irving, Licensed Clinical Therapist Kelsey Irving is a licensed therapist specializing in the treatment of adults with OCD and anxiety disorders. Inspired by a close family member’s diagnosis and the widespread misunderstanding of OCD, she became deeply committed to providing informed, compassionate, and effective care. Kelsey serves individuals through her private practice, Steadfast Psychology Group, and extends her impact through her children’s book, Jacob and the Cloud.

Written by Nelia Camara Pereira, Founder, Carnelian Heart™ Nelia Camara Pereira is the founder of Carnelian Heart™ and creator of the Soul-First™ philosophy. Drawing from her own journey through loss, reinvention, and personal transformation, she writes about identity, conscious leadership, authentic living, and what it means to remain human in an increasingly AI-driven world. You built an identity that worked. It kept you safe, productive, accepted, and it cost you more than you realized. This is the story of the three planners I bought before I understood what I was actually trying to fix. Three planners in After the pandemic, I made a decision. I was never going back to the life I had before it. So I bought a planner. I mapped my days, my goals, my dreams, color-coded and hour by hour, and I started ticking boxes. For a while, it worked. Then, slowly, fewer boxes got ticked. A missed day became two. Two became a pattern. I would look at the empty squares and feel something close to defeat, and instead of asking why, I pushed harder to fill them. When I couldn't bear to look at the planner anymore, I closed it and bought a new one. Three planners later, I stopped. Not because I had finally found the right system. Because I hadn't, and I couldn't keep doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome. I had been following advice that other people swore by. Use the first hour of your day, plan everything, track everything, and some of it was right. But not all of it resonated, and I had been forcing myself into a blueprint that was not mine because an achiever does not question the blueprint. She just tries harder inside it. So I went the opposite way. No schedule at all. Within weeks, I was lost in the noise of an unstructured life, frustrated all over again, just from the other direction. That was when I actually stopped. Not the planner. Me. I asked a different question. Not how do I do more, but what do I actually want? What matters to me. What is the one thing that would move my life forward if I gave it real attention and let everything else be secondary? I started small. The planner became a planner again, an ordinary tool, and if something didn't get done, I stopped treating it as failure and started asking whether it was important enough to carry into tomorrow at all. Some things weren't. I let them go. That is the moment I unlearned the achiever. Not in a single breakthrough, but in the quiet decision to stop achieving a life and start living one of my own design. The identity that kept you safe I didn't see it clearly until I watched myself buy a third planner. That was the achiever, still running, still convinced that the right system would finally make the discomfort go away. The achiever in me produced. Delivered. Set the standard, met it, and then raised it. Filled every hour with forward motion because stillness felt dangerous, and equated rest with falling behind and slowness with failure. The world loved this version of me. It gave her approval, the particular kind that comes from being reliably, impressively useful. So she kept going, because the reward confirmed the identity, and stopping would mean finding out who she was without it. Here is what I now understand as the centre of it. A survival identity is not simply something you believe about yourself. It is the identity through which you keep making choices, long after the life that required it has ended. Mine kept choosing for me through three planners before I noticed it was still steering. What a survival identity actually is A survival identity is not a weakness. This needs to be said clearly and without apology. It is an intelligent adaptation, a version of yourself constructed, often in childhood and refined through years of experience, to navigate a world that felt unsafe, unpredictable, or conditional in its acceptance of you. The cost of adapting too well does not show up while you are adapting. It shows up years later, quietly, in a life that runs perfectly and still doesn't feel like yours. The achiever survives by being indispensable. The peacekeeper survives by ensuring no conflict arises. Both are effective strategies for belonging, for safety, and for managing a world that gave early evidence that being simply yourself was not quite enough. Psychologist Christina Maslach's decades of research into chronic workplace stress found that it is often the most committed, highest-achieving people who are most vulnerable, precisely because they have built so much of their identity around performing well. But these identities are built for survival, not for living. The quiet tragedy is that most people wear their survival identity for so long they mistake it for their actual self. The guilt of stopping The discomfort of that first empty square in the planner was not really about productivity. It was guilt, arriving before I had even fully stopped. The sense that I was missing out, that somewhere something important was happening without me, that rest was a luxury I had not yet earned. What I did not understand then was that I was not missing out by resting. I was missing out by not. While I chased a version of success that came from outside me, I was missing the texture of ordinary days. Creativity that only surfaces in stillness. Relationships that deepen when you are actually present rather than moving through connection at speed on your way to the next task. I was missing myself, and I was missing it in pursuit of things that did not truly matter to me. Not at the level of soul. I was chasing what the world said success looked like, one perfectly filled planner at a time. What unlearning actually means Unlearning is not dismantling. I want to be precise about this because the word carries a weight it doesn't deserve. It sounds like destruction, like the painful removal of something essential. It is not that. The Unlearning™ is a returning. A gradual, honest, sometimes uncomfortable process of distinguishing between what is authentically yours and what was handed to you by family, by culture, by the accumulated weight of other people's expectations, before you were old enough to question it. It asks a deceptively simple question. Is this mine? Or did I inherit it? Unlearning the achiever did not mean abandoning ambition or dismantling drive. It meant examining the relationship. Asking whether I was achieving from genuine desire or from fear of what I would find if I stopped. Three planners in, I finally asked. Recognition is not the completion Seeing the identity is not the same as knowing how to stop letting it run your choices. I could name the achiever in myself and still, out of habit, reach for a fourth planner. What changed things was not the naming. It was choosing differently, again and again, until it stopped being a decision and started being how I lived. Recognition opens the door. What walks through it is a slow, repeated practice of choosing what is true over what is familiar. What remains after the unlearning Here is what I found underneath the achiever. Stillness that eventually felt like home rather than a threat. Creativity that only surfaces once the noise stops. A capacity for presence, genuine, unhurried presence, that constant motion had made impossible. Clarity about what actually mattered. Not the world's version. Mine. The survival identity had kept me safe. I am not ungrateful for it. But it was built for a version of my life that no longer existed, one defined by scarcity and the need to earn my place. I no longer live there. An invitation What are you still carrying that was built for a version of your life that no longer exists? Not as criticism. As a genuine question. What identity have you worn so long it has started to feel like skin, one built for conditions that no longer exist. You do not have to dismantle anything. You only have to look, honestly, gently, without the rush of someone who has somewhere more important to be. Because you don't. You are already here. The Unlearning™ begins here This article helps you recognise the identity you built and why it worked. The Unlearning™ helps you do what recognition alone cannot. Separate what is authentically yours from what you inherited, notice where the old identity is still steering your choices, and begin the repeated work of choosing a life of your own design instead of one built for survival. If a planner, a role, or a routine you keep abandoning and restarting sounds familiar, this book was written for you. Buy The Unlearning™ on Amazon. Join the Carnelian Heart™ community for new writing and resources delivered directly to you. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Nelia Camara Pereira Nelia Camara Pereira, Founder, Carnelian Heart™ Nelia Camara Pereira is the founder of Carnelian Heart™ and creator of the Soul-First™ philosophy. Following the death of her mother in 2017, she began a profound journey of self-discovery that would inspire her writing, teaching, and life's work. Today, she writes and speaks on identity, personal transformation, conscious leadership, and authentic living. She is the author of Seeker of Light, Soul-First™, and The Unlearning™, and is passionate about helping people reconnect with who they are beneath the roles, expectations, and survival patterns that shape their lives. Her mission is simple: to help others remember who they were before the world told them who to be.

Written by Monique Farmer, PR & Communications Consultant Monique Farmer, APR, is the founder of Avant Solutions, a PR and communication consultancy that helps nonprofit organizations, government agencies, and small businesses elevate their messaging and build stronger connections with their audiences. Founders move fast. We make decisions between meetings, answer messages in line for coffee, review proposals after dinner, and solve people, client, revenue, and strategy problems before lunch. In a small business, the pace can make reflection feel like a luxury. Who has time to sit and think when the inbox is waving both arms, the client needs an answer, and the team is waiting for direction? But here’s what I’ve learned. Reflection isn’t a luxury for leaders. It’s a navigation system. Without it, founders can spend years moving in a direction they never chose. We can confuse motion with progress. We can keep solving the same problem in different outfits. We can build a business that looks successful from the outside but feels misaligned on the inside. Experience alone does not make us wiser. If it did, every hard season would automatically produce better choices. Wisdom comes when we pause long enough to ask, What happened here? What did I learn? What needs to change? Who am I becoming as I build this? Reflection is the bridge between what happened and what becomes possible next. Reflection is not rumination Before we talk about tools, we need to make an important distinction. Reflection and rumination are not the same. Reflection is purposeful. Rumination is circular. Reflection says, “What can I learn from this?” Rumination says, “Why did I mess that up again?” Reflection creates movement. Rumination creates mental quicksand. For founders, this distinction matters because we often replay decisions in our minds. The proposal we should have priced differently. The client we should have let go sooner. The employee issue we should have addressed earlier. The opportunity we missed because we were too afraid, too distracted, or too overloaded. Without structure, that replay can become self-punishment. With structure, it can become wisdom. Experts identify reflection as more than introspection. It describes reflective practice as a deliberate examination of thoughts, feelings, actions, assumptions, and consequences in order to improve future judgment and practice. That is the key, future judgment. Reflection is not about living in the past. It is about learning from the past so you can lead better tomorrow. Use journaling to hear yourself think Journaling is one of the simplest reflection tools available, but simple does not mean shallow. For founders, journaling can create a private room for honest leadership thinking. Not performative thinking. Not polished for the team thinking. Not “let me make this sound better than it is” thinking. Honest thinking. A journal can help you name what you’re carrying before it leaks into your leadership. It can help you notice patterns in your energy, decision-making, boundaries, and fears. It can help you separate the urgent from the important. You don’t need to write pages every morning by candlelight to benefit from journaling. Start with five minutes and four prompts: What is giving me energy right now? What is draining me? What am I avoiding? What is one brave adjustment I need to make? Those questions are deceptively simple. They can reveal where your business needs attention and where you do. Conduct after-action reviews One of the most practical tools a founder can borrow from crisis, military, and organizational learning environments is the after-action review. In plain language, after something important happens, stop and examine it. After a client campaign, sales call, difficult team conversation, launch, missed deadline, or conflict. Don’t reserve debriefs for failures. Debrief success, too. Success has lessons, and founders often rush past them. A simple after-action review asks: What was supposed to happen? What actually happened? What worked? What did not work? What will we change next time? This tool is especially powerful for small teams because it turns experience into shared learning. It prevents the founder from being the only keeper of insight. It also builds a culture where improvement is normal, not shameful. In public relations and crisis communication, I've written about the importance of preparation, command centers, internal communication, and learning from difficult moments. The same principle applies to everyday business leadership. The best leaders do not just survive challenging moments. They study them. Practice double loop learning Some problems are surface problems. Others are system problems wearing surface-level clothes. Single loop learning asks, “How do we fix this?” Double loop learning asks, “What assumption, belief, or system created this problem?” Both are useful. But founders need double loop learning if they want real transformation. Let’s say your team keeps missing deadlines. Single loop learning might say, “We need a better project management tool.” That may be true. Double loop learning asks, “Are we overcommitting? Are we afraid to push back on clients? Are timelines unclear? Is the founder approving too many things too late? Do we have a culture where people are afraid to say they are at capacity?” That is a different conversation. Often, that is where the truth lives. Single-loop and double-loop learning are useful reflection concepts because they help leaders move beyond quick fixes and examine the assumptions underneath repeated patterns. For a founder, this is gold. Because if the same problem keeps showing up, it may not be a people problem. It may be a pattern problem. Patterns require reflection before policy. Invite feedback before the room goes quiet Self-reflection is powerful, but it has limits. We all have blind spots. That’s why they are called blind spots and not “things I’d definitely notice if I tried harder.” Founders need reflection, but they also need mirrors. That might be a coach, mentor, trusted colleague, peer group, advisory board, or team member with permission to tell the truth. In my own leadership journey, I once sought feedback from a trusted colleague because I wanted to be more conscious of how I was coming across to employees and peers. I gave her permission to be honest with me, and her insight helped me become a more self-aware leader. That kind of feedback takes humility. It also requires courage. Because the founder’s role can create distance, people may soften their words around you. They may protect your feelings. They may assume you are too busy, too stressed, or too attached to your own ideas to hear the truth. So you have to invite feedback. When it comes, you have to receive it without punishing the messenger. Try asking: What is one thing I do that makes your work easier? What is one thing I do that makes your work harder? Where do you see me creating clarity? Where do you see me creating confusion? What should I stop, start, or continue? Then listen. Not to defend. Not to explain. Not to prepare your closing argument. Listen to learn. The CLEAR reflection method For founders who need a simple structure, use the CLEAR method. Capture what happened: Write down the facts before your emotions rewrite the story. Listen for the emotion underneath it: Were you frustrated, embarrassed, disappointed, afraid, proud, or relieved? Examine the assumption: What belief shaped your response? Apply one lesson: What will you do differently? Repeat with honesty and grace: Reflection isn’t a one-time event. It is a leadership rhythm. This method works because it gives reflection a job. It moves you from awareness to action. Final thought A founder’s calendar can become so full of doing that there is no room left for becoming. But leadership isn’t only about what you produce. It is also about who you’re becoming while you produce it. Reflection gives you a place to meet yourself honestly. It helps you notice the drift before you’re miles away from your values. It helps you turn experience into wisdom, wisdom into decisions, and decisions into a stronger business. So, before you rush into the next meeting, the next proposal, the next launch, or the next big idea, pause long enough to ask, what is this season teaching me? What pattern is asking to be interrupted? What truth have I been too busy to hear? Your next breakthrough may not come from moving faster. It may come from getting still enough to see clearly. Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Monique Farmer Monique Farmer, PR & Communications Consultant Monique Farmer, APR, runs a PR/Communication Consultancy, Avant Solutions, and is the creator of Anvil Ready, an online communication strategy builder that aids the communication professional in creating communication plans. She teaches at the University of Texas at Austin. Farmer spent 12 years working in the federal government prior to working in corporate communications for ConAgra Foods (now ConAgra Brands), then leading communication strategy for Nebraska’s largest school district. In March 2024, she published her first book, Chart Your Path: A 9-step Method to Getting Unstuck.

Written by Dr. Shamma Lootah, Self-Leadership & Mental Wellbeing Expert Dr. Shamma shares insights on clarity, emotional resilience, and purposeful growth, helping individuals and organizations navigate personal and professional transformation. Real change is often mistaken for a change of scenery, yet new beginnings rarely erase the habits, beliefs, and emotional patterns we carry with us. This article explores why lasting transformation starts with self-awareness, and how looking inward allows us to make the most of every new chapter. We all believe in the power of a fresh start. A new city, a new job, a new relationship, a new office, a new routine, a new year. We tell ourselves, "Once I get there, everything will be different." For a while, it often is. A new environment gives us energy. It creates hope, interrupts old routines, and offers the illusion of becoming someone new. But after weeks, or sometimes months, many people find themselves facing the same frustrations they thought they had left behind. The same conflicts, the same fears, the same emotional reactions, the same self-doubt. Because while the environment changed, the patterns did not. We never arrive empty-handed Every environment we enter, we bring something with us, not just our experience or qualifications. We carry our beliefs, our emotional habits, our unresolved wounds, our expectations, and our ways of interpreting people and situations. These invisible patterns quietly shape how we respond to every new opportunity. A different workplace cannot erase a fear of failure. A new relationship cannot heal an old fear of abandonment. A promotion cannot silence an inner critic that has been speaking for years. Wherever we go, we bring ourselves with us. Why do the same patterns keep repeating? Many people believe they have bad luck. In reality, they may simply have familiar patterns. A person who struggles to trust may enter every relationship expecting disappointment. Someone who constantly seeks approval may continue saying "yes" long after it becomes unhealthy. A leader who fears losing control may unknowingly recreate stressful environments wherever they work. The setting changes. The emotional blueprint stays the same. Until it is understood. Awareness is where transformation begins Self-awareness is often misunderstood. People assume it means knowing their personality type or recognizing their strengths and weaknesses. True self-awareness goes deeper. It asks uncomfortable questions. Why does this situation affect me so strongly? Why do I repeat the same decisions? Why do certain people trigger emotions that seem bigger than the moment itself? Why do I keep arriving at the same destination through different roads? These questions shift our focus from blaming the environment to understanding ourselves. That is where meaningful change begins. The courage to look inward Looking inward is rarely comfortable. It is much easier to believe that another job, another city, another partner, or another opportunity will finally solve what feels wrong. Sometimes the environment does need to change. Healthy boundaries matter. Supportive cultures matter. Safe relationships matter. But even in the healthiest environment, we eventually meet ourselves. Our thinking. Our habits. Our emotional responses. Our stories. Transformation is not choosing between changing your environment or changing yourself. Often, it requires both. Growth is an inside-out process Real transformation does not begin with a different address. It begins with a different awareness. When we recognize the beliefs driving our choices, the emotions shaping our reactions, and the patterns influencing our relationships, we stop living on autopilot. Instead of reacting, we begin responding. Instead of repeating, we begin choosing. Instead of surviving, we begin leading ourselves. A new environment is an opportunity, not a guarantee The most successful people are not simply those who find better environments. They are those who become better within them, because they understand that every new chapter is an invitation to grow, not an escape from the previous one. The environment can open the door. But only self-awareness allows you to walk through it differently. A final thought We spend much of our lives searching for the next place that will finally change us. Perhaps the real question is not, "Where should I go next?" but rather, "Who am I bringing with me?" Because sustainable transformation does not begin the moment your surroundings change. It begins the moment you become aware of the emotional patterns you carry into every room, every relationship, and every opportunity. Self-awareness is not the destination. It is the beginning of a life you consciously choose. Follow me on Instagram and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Dr. Shamma Lootah Dr. Shamma Lootah, Self-Leadership & Mental Wellbeing Expert Dr. Shamma Lootah is a UAE-based leadership and mental well-being consultant, Partner and Director at The Holistic Culture, and an Adjunct Professor in business and leadership. With over 17 years of experience in UAE government strategy and institutional excellence, she brings a rare blend of system-level expertise and human-centered insight. Her work focuses on self-leadership, emotional clarity, and sustainable performance, helping individuals and leaders navigate pressure without losing themselves in the process.

Written by Niaby Codd, Author, Dream Weaver, and Transformational Mentor Niaby is a Dream Weaver, Transcended Master, published author, and intuitive, transformational mentor whose work serves as a bridge between the spiritual and psychological worlds. Through her transformative teachings and healing work, Niaby stands as a powerful voice for those ready to walk the path of truth and transformation. The word 'narcissist' has become one of the most commonly applied labels in contemporary culture. It appears in therapy sessions and social media threads, in conversations about exes and colleagues, in self-help books and podcasts. What was once a specific clinical term has become a catch-all diagnosis for anyone who behaves badly, withdraws emotionally, puts themselves first, or fails to take responsibility for their impact on others. When we reach for a clinical label to make sense of behaviour that is far more widespread and far more human than any single diagnosis can capture, we misunderstand both the person in front of us and the world that created them. Not all narcissists are narcissists Most of the people being labelled as narcissists today do not have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. True narcissism, in the clinical sense, is a specific and relatively rare condition. A person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder has no functional access to genuine remorse. They may mimic it when it serves them, but they do not experience it. They have no functional access to empathy, and they operate from a deeply entrenched pattern of drawing power and validation from others in ways that can become exploitative, with little regard for the impact on those around them. The modern-day narcissist, on the other hand, is a phenomenon of our times, a product of the society and culture that we have collectively created. They are people displaying narcissistic tendencies, patterns of behaviour that can sit at various points across the spectrum but that fall far short of a clinical diagnosis. Whilst a person with narcissistic tendencies can still cause real psychological damage to those around them, beneath those patterns the capacity for genuine remorse is present, even if buried. The capacity to recognise others as real and separate is there, even if it has long been obscured. Whilst their empathic capacity may be severely underdeveloped, the capacity for empathy remains. Why the label fails The same label is being applied regardless of where on that spectrum a person actually sits, including those that only display the mildest of tendencies. In doing this, we are not only misunderstanding what is actually happening across that spectrum, but we are also actively closing down the framework of understanding within which healing becomes possible. What every person on that spectrum does share, from the mildest tendency to the most entrenched clinical pattern, are patterns of behaviour rooted in emotional wounding. It is that understanding, rather than any label, that opens the door to the possibility of healing. The society we built The society that we are living in is psychologically unhealthy. A culture that prizes external appearance over inner substance, performance over authenticity, follower counts over depth of connection, and self-promotion as a fundamental survival skill is a culture that actively rewards many of the behaviours that we then pathologise. It trains people, from childhood, to seek validation from outside rather than from within. It breaks the natural relationship between a person and their own inner knowing. It creates disconnection, and from disconnection, many of the patterns that we are now labelling as narcissism begin to grow. When we are disconnected from ourselves and from each other, our capacity to feel into the experience of others begins to close down. Empathy, the ability to genuinely sense and understand what another person is experiencing, is one of the first casualties of that disconnection. Empathy can be taught. It can be modelled in the home, encouraged in schools, woven into the way that we raise children and build communities. But most of us have grown up in environments where it was neither prioritised nor demonstrated, and that has left an enormous number of people with an underdeveloped empathic capacity. Growing up without the capacity to genuinely connect with the experience of others, and with external validation as the primary measure of worth, creates the conditions in which narcissistic behaviour develops. The modern-day narcissist is simply a product of the society in which they live. Nature, nurture and past lives Those on the nature side of the debate would point to the fact that narcissistic tendencies can show from a young age as evidence that character is intrinsic rather than shaped by environment. A parent will often describe these traits as simply who that child is, a quality so intrinsic it seems to precede everything. What neither side of the debate takes into consideration is the dimension of past lives. The unhealed wounds and patterns of previous lives are held within our energy field and carried forth into each new life. They draw towards them early childhood experiences that act as opening wounds through which those patterns begin to surface. These patterns compound across lifetimes. Each life in which the healing does not take place layers the wound more deeply. The soul draws towards it the conditions in which healing could happen, and when those conditions are met without the inner work that healing requires, the patterns embed further still. What therefore appears to be nature in this life is, in many cases, the unhealed nurture of previous lives. The modern-day narcissist is therefore a product of both the society and environment of this lifetime and the accumulated conditioning of previous lives. For those at the clinical end of the spectrum, that accumulation is likely to run considerably deeper. Healing is possible Whilst it has been important to understand and identify narcissistic tendencies and behaviour in order to protect ourselves from those that display it, the assumption embedded in the label 'narcissist' is that the person it describes cannot change. Because narcissism is rooted in wounding, disconnection and a society that has modelled those very behaviours as normal, healing is entirely possible. For those with milder narcissistic tendencies, the capacity to begin that healing exists within this lifetime, should they choose it. How fully that healing unfolds will depend on how far they are willing to go. For those carrying the deepest patterns, the readiness to heal may in itself take many lifetimes, but no wound is beyond the reach of the soul's own capacity to grow. Raising the collective We are now moving through a process of collective healing, ascension and evolution that is making the conditions for that healing more available than they have ever been. The old paradigm, built on disconnection, survival and separation, is giving way to something new, and every individual who chooses to do their inner work is part of what is helping to bring that new paradigm into being. A healthier collective environment does not only benefit those who are actively seeking to grow. It raises the conditions for everyone, including those who are furthest from being ready. Those with the deepest narcissistic tendencies, and those carrying a clinical diagnosis, are often the last to be ready to turn inward. The pattern that keeps them self-referential is the same pattern that makes self-reflection difficult to access. Raising the collective environment around them, through our own self-healing, our own growth, our own willingness to hold a higher level of consciousness and to embody it fully, is the most direct contribution that we can make to their healing, even when they are nowhere near ready to receive it. Heal ourselves, heal the world A healthier collective creates a different mirror, and it is through that mirror that even the most entrenched patterns begin to shift. That shift, once it reaches a critical number of individuals, has the capacity to move through the collective as a whole. This is what is known as the hundredth monkey effect. Every conscious decision that we make to heal, to change, to grow, strengthens the collective consciousness, and as that consciousness strengthens, more and more people begin to feel the call to change. When each person heals, we contribute to the healing of society. When society heals, so does each person within it. This is not only how we help to heal the narcissist. This is how we change the world, one individual journey at a time. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Niaby Codd Niaby Codd, Author, Dream Weaver, Transformational Mentor Niaby is a gifted healer, seer, empath, and evidential medium who has spent over a decade honing her natural abilities. As a Transcended Master, she blends together these profound spiritual gifts with her deep intuitive understanding of human behaviour and trauma to help people identify the root cause of their emotional blocks and limiting beliefs. Using her unique gift as a dream weaver, she helps her clients to release deep-rooted trauma by accessing the subconscious mind through the dream state. A seer of truth, she empowers others to move beyond societal conditioning and reconnect with their authentic selves. Her mission is simple yet profound: to inspire people to be who they came here to be.

Written by Eljin Keeling-Johnson, Personal Development Coach Eljin is a transformative personal development coach from the Midlands, England, and the visionary behind the Alignment Method programme. For over 16 years, Eljin has guided people to release what’s holding them back, rediscover their purpose, and create life-changing transformation. Many people come to me saying the same three things. “I don’t have the motivation.” “I wish I had more confidence.” “I just want to be successful.” If that resonates with you, you’re not alone. But before we try to “fix” these things, we need to understand what they actually mean, because motivation, confidence, and success are not starting points. They are outcomes. Let’s start with confidence People often say, “I wish I had the confidence to do X.” But confidence doesn’t come before action. It comes from action. Psychologically, confidence is built through repeated exposure and mastery. This aligns with Albert Bandura’s concept of self-efficacy, our belief in our ability to succeed is developed through experience, not wishful thinking. You don’t become confident and then act. You act, and then confidence grows. So the real question becomes, what is stopping you from taking that first step? The motivation myth Motivation is often misunderstood as something you either have or don’t have. In reality, motivation is a by-product of taking action, seeing progress, and building belief. Research in behavioural psychology shows that action often precedes motivation, not the other way around. When you start, even imperfectly, you create momentum. That momentum fuels motivation. So if you’re waiting to “feel ready,” you may be waiting indefinitely. Success: A personal definition “I just want to be successful” sounds simple, but success is deeply personal. Without defining what success means to you, your mind has no clear direction. Without direction, it’s difficult to take meaningful action. Success requires a beginning point. That beginning point is often uncomfortable, uncertain, and imperfect. The real block: Belief At the root of most hesitation is belief. A belief about who you are, what you’re capable of, and what might happen if you try. These beliefs are often shaped by past experiences, memories that we replay and project into the future. If your mind is telling you, “This will go wrong.” “I’ll fail.” “I’m not good enough.” Then why would you move towards that? Add to that a lack of clarity, a sense that you “can’t see a way forward,” and the result is paralysis. No belief. No direction. No action. Therefore, no motivation, no confidence, no progress. You already have the resources Everyone has the resources within them. It’s rarely a case of “I can’t do that.” More often, it’s, “I haven’t yet given myself permission to learn how to do that.” What’s missing is not capability, but strategy and modelling. When you have a clear strategy to follow, someone or something to model, and the willingness to learn, you create a pathway forward. This shifts your mindset from limitation to development: From “I can’t” to “I’m learning how” From self-doubt to skill-building From stuck to progressing Change your state: Change your behaviour To break this cycle, we need to shift internal state, because your thoughts influence your emotions, and your emotions drive your behaviour. One powerful way to do this is reframing. For example: “I don’t have the confidence” to “Confidence grows through practice.” “I’ll get it wrong” to “Every mistake teaches me how to improve.” “I’ll never be as good as them” to “They’ve just been doing it longer.” “I feel overwhelmed” to “I’ll focus on one step at a time.” This is not blind positivity, it’s cognitive restructuring, a technique used in evidence-based approaches like CBT to change perception and behaviour. When you change the meaning, you change the emotional response. When you change the emotional response, you change the action. Create a path you can see Clarity reduces fear. Instead of focusing on the entire journey, break it down by asking, what is one step you can take today, and what is within your current reach? Goal-setting theory shows that clear, achievable steps increase follow-through and motivation. You don’t need to cope with everything. You just need to handle what’s in front of you now. Practical shifts that make a difference Stop trying to be perfect, perfection delays action Accept setbacks, progress is not linear Focus on learning, every mistake builds skill Surround yourself with supportive, growth-minded people Seek guidance, a coach, mentor, or support system accelerates progress Identify role models, but don’t compare, use them as evidence of what’s possible The truth most people avoid You don’t need to become someone else to begin, more confidence to start, perfect clarity, or to eliminate fear. You just need to begin. Because action builds confidence. Confidence builds motivation. Motivation fuels consistency. Consistency creates results. Results? That’s what success is built on. Final thought You are not starting from nothing. Everything you need is already within you. The question is not, “Am I ready?” The question is, “Am I willing to take the first step and learn along the way?” Follow me on Facebook and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Eljin Keeling-Johnson Eljin Keeling-Johnson, Personal Development Coach In 2005, Eljin walked into therapy battling anxiety, depression, and drug addiction. What began as a search for healing became a profound journey of self-discovery. Emerging with a renewed sense of purpose, he dedicated his life to helping others find their true selves and step into their full potential. Over the past 16 years, Eljin has delivered more than 16,000 hours of transformative coaching, blending conscious, subconscious, and unconscious work to create big, lasting change. As the visionary behind the Alignment Method programme, his mission is simple yet powerful, to help people connect, grow, and thrive.

Brainz Magazine Exclusive Interview Dr. Juliette Astor's path to medicine began early - an academic upbringing and an almost magnetic pull toward the brain and the mysteries of the mind led her to major in biology before pursuing medical school. She went on to serve as the sole physician for a rural town of 5,000 people, an experience that forged the resilience and resourcefulness she still draws on today. She later relocated to the United States, rebuilding her medical career from the ground up before completing a rigorous general surgery residency in New York City and a facial plastic surgery fellowship in Columbus, Ohio. It was in Florida, working alongside a holistic medicine physician and discovering the science of epigenetics, that Dr. Astor's philosophy of medicine began to expand - from treating disease to treating the whole person. That conviction became the foundation for The Terra Wellness, her integrative practice combining conventional medicine with regenerative, functional, and energetic approaches to healing. Today, Dr. Astor practices as both physician and guide, helping patients reconnect with their bodies, their sense of purpose, and — as her practice's name suggests — the grounding wisdom of the earth itself. Dr. Juliette Astor Looking back at your childhood and early life, which experiences shaped the person you are today, and when did you first begin to imagine a future in medicine? From a very young age, I was immersed in an elite academic environment. I still vividly remember waiting to be picked up from school at nine years old, already carrying the weight of heavy coursework. Even then, I knew I wanted to work in medicine—specifically with the brain. Anything related to the mind and higher power called to me. To pursue that path, I majored in biology, a demanding program I absolutely loved. The academic exposure from an early age, combined with my almost magnetic pull toward the brain and medicine, likely forged the curiosity, discipline, and deep sense of purpose that define me today. The real shaping force, though, was learning to hold both the scientific knowledge and the spiritual awareness without forcing them apart. That integration probably became my quiet superpower — the thing that lets me see patients as whole people, not just cases. What did your journey from medical student to practicing physician look like, and which moments along the way had the greatest influence on your understanding of health, healing, and patient care? The moment we moved from textbooks to the hospital floor was unforgettable. I felt the heavy weight of disease and the reality of life and death right in front of me. Seeing a patient pass away for the first time forced me to connect the science I loved—pathophysiology and biology—with the raw human experience. Every day I had to pause, calibrate, and first heal myself before I could absorb, memorize, and practice medicine with clarity and compassion. After graduating from medical school, I was assigned to serve as the sole physician for a town of 5,000 people in a very rural area. That experience gave me profound resilience, courage, and a deep understanding of what it truly means to practice medicine with limited resources. I was incredibly grateful for the ongoing support of my attendings from medical school, who remained available for questions during on-call nights. It reminded me that even in the most isolated settings, we were never truly alone—we were all in this together. Shortly after that, I traveled to the United States to continue my education and complete my residency. When I arrived, I quickly realized that all the knowledge and clinical experience I had gained in my home country could not be used right away. Having worked so hard, willingly and with genuine passion since childhood, losing the ability to practice what I loved felt like a profound loss and a deep grief. Although the American dream was still alive because I had the option to take the board exams and apply for residency, as a foreign medical graduate, the process was extremely intense and difficult. The first five years after migrating to the U.S. were some of the darkest moments of my entire life. And again, I was able to pass all the tests in the residency program and be a physician one more time. I could see patients again, and I was beyond grateful. However, general surgery residency in New York City is one of the toughest programs on the planet. The daily volume of trauma and gunshot wounds was extremely high, with 30-hour shifts four times a week and a total of 80 hours of work, all without breaks. It was incredibly difficult, but I kept telling myself: This is the way. However, I deeply believe the system and residency hours need to change because they simply do not make sense. If someone can stay awake for 30 hours straight, that does not necessarily make them the best physician. The best physician is the one who has had the chance to rest, study, and then practice with their whole heart and full intention to heal—not the one who can simply survive a 30-hour shift without a break. “The best physician is the one who has had the chance to rest, study, and then practice with their whole heart and full intention to heal—not the one who can simply survive a 30-hour shift without a break.” Was there a defining experience that inspired you to explore a more integrative approach that considers the body, mind, and spirit? After graduating from a facial plastic surgery fellowship in Columbus, Ohio, I moved to Florida to start my practice. I was working alongside a semi-retired plastic surgeon, and across the hall was a holistic medicine doctor who introduced me to information and frequency medicine, a whole new spectrum of ways to practice medicine effectively. Then I was introduced to the science of epigenetics — the idea that genes don't rule us, the environment does. That's where my journey into integrated, functional, and regenerative medicine truly began for me. What was happening in your life when the idea for The Terra Wellness first emerged, and what gap in the healthcare system did you feel called to address by creating your own practice? The idea for The Terra Wellness first emerged as I was introduced to powerful new ways of incorporating wellness and healing into my practice. The name “Terra,” inspired by Mother Earth healing, came to me during this time. While attending conferences and exploring other approaches to medicine, I repeatedly saw patients struggling to fully heal when relying solely on modern medicine. Modern medicine is incredibly powerful and effective — I use it every single day — but it's simply not enough. Often, it acts as a bandage rather than true healing. That realization sparked my mission to create a holistic practice that combines modern medicine with regenerative, integrative, and holistic approaches to health. The name “Terra” represents the earth, grounding, and a strong foundation. What does that idea mean to you personally, and how is your own story reflected in the philosophy and patient experience you have created? The name “Terra” represents the earth, grounding, and a strong foundation — exactly what true healing requires. What better teacher than Mother Earth herself, with her profound resilience? By simply connecting to her, we begin to heal; by learning from her and incorporating her wisdom, our healing deepens. This planet is a precious gift, and we are meant to honor it, enjoy it, and fully experience it with all five of our senses. Healing starts at the energetic level and then materializes into our physical body. That is why we must reconnect with this powerful magnetic field — with Terra herself. Dr. Juliette Astor “Healing starts at the energetic level and then materializes into our physical body.” What have been the greatest challenges, sacrifices, and lessons of that journey, and how has it changed you as a person? The greatest challenges in medicine for me were the lack of sleep and those 30-hour shifts. I never understood why that was necessary, because that specific skill doesn't make you a better physician. That was the real sacrifice I made to become the physician I am today. However, the long hours of work after a good night's rest never bothered me. I actually loved them, because I was gaining knowledge and voluntarily putting myself in difficult situations that activated parts of me that would have otherwise stayed dormant. Every new chapter of training expanded my capacity in ways I deeply appreciated. Working hard now for long-term gratification is something I truly aspire to. The most profound experience for me has been this deep spiritual pull I've felt since childhood — the longing to understand why we are here and our connection to the light of the Creator. Recently, I was introduced to a powerful theory that explains our presence in this imperfect world. It suggests that before the Big Bang, we existed as immortal souls living in complete abundance, fully receiving the Creator's light, united with our soulmates. But within us was a desire to become creators ourselves — to generate that light rather than simply receive it. That desire manifested as the Big Bang, this material world, and Mother Earth. We are born with nothing and must figure everything out. The real challenge is remembering that we are, and always will be, connected to the Creator's light. Our souls chose these difficult circumstances to earn that light, to co-create our lives, and ultimately to fully liberate and reconnect with the divine source. That is our true mission. When you look at everything you have built so far, what makes you feel most proud? What does success mean to you today, and what do you hope the next chapter of your life, business, and legacy will look like? The community I've built at Terra Wellness and the people who have trusted me to guide them on their health and wellness journey — both as their physician and life coach — make me most proud. I'm deeply honored by that trust. Looking ahead, I hope to nourish this community even further and continue to be a small but meaningful part of liberating individuals and making their lives easier and more fulfilling. As my legacy, I want to create something that's forever-lasting — something that helps people shift certain habits. For thousands of years, people have often reacted the same way in certain situations. I want to spark an awareness that truly clicks — one that lifts us into higher consciousness, dissolves fear, doubt, and limiting beliefs, and allows everyone to step into their full potential. Across these questions, a single thread emerges: healing, for this physician, was never only a clinical pursuit. It was forged in overnight hospital shifts and 30-hour calls, tested by the disorientation of rebuilding a medical career on foreign soil, and ultimately transformed by the recognition that the body cannot be separated from the mind or the spirit that inhabits it. The Terra Wellness stands as the culmination of that journey — a practice grounded, quite literally, in the belief that reconnecting patients to something larger than themselves is where real healing begins. Want to learn more about Juliette or get in touch? Head over to the website for more information or to book a consultation. You can also connect with Juliette and The Terra Wellness here: Facebook: The Terra Wellness Instagram: theterrawellness.official TikTok: drjulietteastor YouTube: The Terra Wellness LinkedIn: The Terra Wellness X (Twitter): @julietteastor Podcast: Your Wellness Guide