Written by April Wazny, LCPC, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor April Wazny specializes in trauma-informed, evidence-based therapy. Passionate about helping others heal, she works alongside individuals and families to process generational trauma and build lasting emotional resilience. Every family carries stories. Some are told often, stories about immigration, sacrifice, resilience, or the struggles that shaped a family’s identity. These stories help define where we come from and what values guide our lives. But there are also other stories in families. The ones that are rarely spoken about. These are the stories that live in subtle ways: in the quiet tension when certain topics arise, in the emotional distance between family members, or in patterns that seem to repeat across generations without a clear explanation. Many families carry experiences that were too painful, too complex, or too overwhelming to fully process at the time they occurred. During my recent research on generational trauma, I found myself returning again and again to a central question: How does the past continue to shape families long after the original events have passed? The answer, it turns out, is more complex and more hopeful than many people realize. Generational trauma, sometimes referred to as intergenerational trauma, helps explain how the emotional impact of traumatic experiences can extend beyond the individuals who originally lived through them. Instead, trauma can influence family systems, emotional patterns, and coping strategies in ways that quietly ripple through generations. Understanding this process can help individuals make sense of family patterns and, importantly, open the door to healing. When the past quietly shapes the present Many people recognize generational patterns in their families, even if they do not immediately have language to describe them. You might notice that emotional expression was limited in your household growing up. Perhaps difficult topics were avoided, or certain feelings like anger, sadness, or fear were discouraged. In other families, there may be a strong emphasis on self-reliance and endurance, with little space to acknowledge vulnerability. These patterns often develop for a reason. Families adapt to difficult circumstances in ways that help them survive. A generation that experienced war, poverty, discrimination, abuse, or displacement may develop coping strategies that prioritize protection and stability. Emotional suppression, hypervigilance, or strict family roles may have originally functioned as ways to manage overwhelming stress. However, the strategies that help one generation survive a traumatic context do not always translate smoothly to the next. Children raised within these family systems learn the emotional rules of their environment. They observe how adults respond to stress, how conflicts are handled, and which emotions are acceptable to express. Over time, these patterns become internalized and can shape how individuals regulate their emotions, navigate relationships, and understand themselves. In this way, trauma can influence families even when the next generation never directly experienced the original traumatic event. Research in family psychology has long noted that unresolved trauma can shape parenting behaviors, attachment patterns, and emotional communication within family systems.[1] The unspoken language of silence One of the most powerful themes that emerged in my research was the role of silence in generational trauma. In many families, painful experiences are intentionally left unspoken. Parents or grandparents may avoid discussing traumatic events in an attempt to protect younger generations from distress. Sometimes this silence comes from love, a desire to shield children from suffering. But silence can have unintended consequences. Children are often remarkably perceptive when it comes to emotional dynamics. Even when adults do not explicitly discuss traumatic experiences, children may still sense underlying tension, grief, or fear. Without clear explanations, they may try to make sense of these emotional cues on their own. This can lead to confusion, anxiety, or the internalization of emotional burdens that were never meant to be theirs. Silence, therefore, becomes its own form of communication. It sends subtle messages about what can and cannot be expressed within a family. Over time, these patterns may shape how future generations approach difficult emotions or conversations. Family systems researchers have noted that unspoken trauma can create “emotional legacies,” where unresolved experiences influence family relationships and communication patterns across generations.[2] Trauma and the brain: Why experiences leave a lasting impact Advances in trauma research and neuroscience have helped illuminate why traumatic experiences can have such enduring effects. When individuals experience trauma, especially chronic or prolonged trauma, the brain and body adapt in ways that prioritize survival. The nervous system becomes highly sensitive to potential threats, and stress response systems may remain activated long after the immediate danger has passed. These adaptations can influence emotional regulation, attention, and the perception of safety in relationships. Researchers have also begun exploring how trauma may influence epigenetic processes, which involve changes in how genes are expressed in response to environmental experiences. Some emerging research suggests that severe stress may influence biological systems connected to stress regulation across generations.[3] While this field continues to evolve, these findings highlight how deeply experiences can shape the systems responsible for emotional regulation and stress responses. Importantly, generational trauma is not determined solely by biology. Instead, it reflects a dynamic interaction between biological processes, family relationships, environmental conditions, and cultural context. When trauma is shared by communities While generational trauma is often discussed within families, it also exists on a broader social level. Entire communities may carry the psychological and emotional impact of historical events such as colonization, forced displacement, systemic racism, war, or cultural erasure. These experiences can shape collective identities, cultural narratives, and patterns of resilience. This phenomenon is sometimes referred to as historical or collective trauma. Communities affected by collective trauma often develop shared coping strategies and cultural practices that help preserve identity and support healing. Scholars studying historical trauma emphasize that these experiences influence both community narratives and psychological well-being across generations.[4] Importantly, research consistently shows that alongside trauma, communities also pass down resilience, cultural knowledge, and survival strategies. Breaking generational patterns One of the most hopeful insights from generational trauma research is that patterns can change. Although trauma can influence family systems, it does not permanently determine the future of those systems. Awareness is often the first step toward transformation. When individuals begin reflecting on family histories, emotional patterns, and inherited beliefs, they gain the opportunity to make more intentional choices. This process may involve asking questions about the past, exploring emotions that were previously unacknowledged, or developing new ways of communicating within relationships. Therapeutic work can play an important role in this process. Many trauma-informed approaches emphasize the importance of emotional awareness, nervous system regulation, and supportive relationships in healing trauma-related patterns.[5] Breaking generational cycles does not mean rejecting one’s family or history. In many cases, it involves developing a deeper understanding of the challenges previous generations faced. Many behaviors that seem confusing or painful in the present may have originated as survival strategies in difficult circumstances. Recognizing this context can foster compassion for both ourselves and those who came before us. The stories we carry forward Every family inherits stories. Some of those stories are about hardship and survival. Others are about resilience, courage, and transformation. Most families carry a complicated mix of all of these elements. Understanding generational trauma does not mean viewing the past solely through the lens of suffering. Rather, it encourages us to approach family histories with curiosity and compassion. The past shapes us in ways we may not fully realize. But it does not have to define the future. When individuals begin exploring the emotional patterns within their families, they often discover something empowering: the recognition that change is possible. We cannot rewrite the experiences of previous generations. But we can decide how those stories continue. And sometimes, the most powerful step toward healing generational trauma is simply beginning to talk about it. Visit my website  for more info! Read more from  April Wazny, LCPC April Wazny, LCPC, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor April Wazny is a trauma-informed therapist and founder of Winora’s Hope Counseling. She’s passionate about walking alongside those who are hurting, helping individuals and families heal from generational trauma and reclaim their wholeness. Currently pursuing a Ph.D. in Social Psychology at Liberty University, April’s work explores the lasting impact of inherited trauma and the power of safe, compassionate connection in the healing process. Through both her writing and clinical work, she creates space for people to feel seen, supported, and empowered in their journey. References: [4] Brave Heart, M. Y. H. (2003). The historical trauma response among Native peoples and its relationship with substance abuse: A Lakota illustration. Journal of Psychoactive Drugs, 35(1), 7–13. [1] Danieli, Y. (1998). International handbook of multigenerational legacies of trauma. Springer. [2] Kellermann, N. P. F. (2001). Transmission of Holocaust trauma—An integrative view. Psychiatry: Interpersonal and Biological Processes, 64(3), 256–267. [5] van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking. [3] Yehuda, R., & Lehrner, A. (2018). Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects: Putative role of epigenetic mechanisms. World Psychiatry, 17(3), 243–257.

DJ Jesse Hudson is a cognitive health advocate, media creator, and founder of CTEFight.com. Living with the long-term effects of brain injury, he uses storytelling and lived experience to raise global awareness around cognitive health and recovery. Through The Rabbit Hole , he explores how AI, media, and community can support resilience, continuity, and human dignity. His work bridges advocacy, innovation, and culture to make complex brain health conversations accessible and real. DJ Jesse Hudson, AI-Driven Cognitive Health Advocate Who is DJ Jesse Hudson? DJ Jesse Hudson is a DJ, media creator, and brain-health advocate who uses music, storytelling, and technology to raise awareness about neurological injury. Known on stage as DjR WarDrums, Jesse built a global presence in electronic music and live-streaming communities while also documenting his own journey living with the long-term effects of head injuries. Through his media platform therabbithole.ca , Jesse explores the intersection of creativity, technology, and neurological recovery. His work translates complex medical realities into conversations people can understand. At the center of that effort is CTEFight.com, an initiative dedicated to raising awareness about chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE) and the broader consequences of repeated head trauma. What inspired you to start CTE Fight? CTE Fight grew directly from lived experience. After dealing with the long-term effects of head injuries, Jesse began researching what might actually be happening neurologically. That research led him to the reality of chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE). CTE cannot currently be definitively diagnosed until after death through brain tissue examination. There is no cure and no direct treatment for the disease itself. That reality leaves many people living with symptoms that resemble CTE while never receiving a definitive diagnosis. CTEFight.com was created to help bring awareness to that gap — supporting research, increasing public understanding, and helping people facing neurological challenges know they are not alone. What common misconceptions about CTE do you encounter? One of the biggest misconceptions is that CTE only affects professional athletes. While professional sports helped bring attention to the issue, repeated head trauma can occur in many environments, such as sports, accidents, military service, workplace injuries, and everyday impacts over time. Another misconception is that we fully understand the condition today. The reality is that research is still evolving, and many questions remain about how the disease progresses and how earlier diagnosis might eventually become possible. Education and storytelling are powerful tools for addressing these misconceptions. When people hear real experiences alongside scientific information, the issue becomes easier to understand. What results or impacts have you seen from your work? One of the most meaningful areas of work has been exploring a concept called Backup Intelligence² (BI²). BI² looks at how intelligent technology, particularly AI systems, can support people living with neurological challenges by assisting with organization, recall, communication, and decision-making. Brain injuries often affect memory, concentration, emotional regulation, and information processing. Backup Intelligence² explores how technology can help fill those gaps. The goal is not to replace human thinking but to support it, helping people maintain independence and continue contributing creatively and professionally. What should someone do if they suspect a head injury? The first step is to take head injuries seriously and seek medical evaluation. For decades, people were told to “walk it off.” That mindset is no longer acceptable. A head injury cannot be walked off. Symptoms such as headaches, dizziness, confusion, memory problems, mood changes, or sensitivity to light and sound should be treated as warning signals that the brain needs care and recovery time. Documenting symptoms over time can also help healthcare professionals better understand what is happening. Equally important is building a support system. Brain injuries affect families and communities as well as individuals, and having people around who understand the situation can make a significant difference. What future goals excite you most for CTE Fight? A major focus for CTEFight.com is supporting organizations leading research into brain injury and chronic traumatic encephalopathy. Institutions such as Brain Canada and Boston University’s UNITE Brain Bank are conducting critical research that will help us better understand the disease and eventually improve diagnosis and treatment. Prevention is equally important. Initiatives such as PlaySafe promote better education and access to protective equipment so children and communities can better protect developing brains. Many children grow up playing in environments where surfaces are hard and protective equipment may not always be accessible. Making helmets and protective gear more affordable and available can help reduce risk and protect the next generation. Support the mission Readers who would like to support awareness and research efforts connected to CTEFight.com can learn more through the fundraiser initiatives below. LinkedIn Event Facebook Event Fundraiser Campaign The fundraiser will culminate in a 24-hour livestream event on March 29th, bringing DJs, artists, and supporters from around the world together to raise awareness about brain injuries and chronic traumatic encephalopathy. Every conversation, every share, and every contribution helps move awareness forward. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website  for more info! Read more from DJ Jesse Hudson

Written by Jingying Xu, Founder of Meditate Into Prosperity Jingying Xu, Ph.D., is the founder of Meditate Into Prosperity, guiding professionals and leaders to transform inner power into outward presence through meditation, energy healing, and personal growth coaching. A former Research Scientist at the University of Oxford, she blends scientific rigor with Eastern wisdom for lasting transformation. Not long ago, a female client shared something with me after a meditation session. She works in an intense industry in a megacity, the kind of environment where long hours, constant decisions, and quiet competition are simply part of daily life. After the session, she sat in silence for a while. Then tears came. Finally, she said something that stayed with me, “I feel like I’m chasing success while slowly flattening myself in the process.” Her career was rising. Her income was increasing. Her influence was expanding. But she, the person behind all of it, felt as though she was becoming smaller. Not physically smaller. But existentially smaller. She had begun speaking more cautiously. Expressing herself more strategically. Regulating her emotions more carefully. Softening her edges. In many ways, she had become “more professional.” But she had also become less present. The moment she said it, I realised something. This is not an isolated experience. It is a pattern many women in leadership quietly live with. The invisible skill many women learn: Self-compression Many successful women learn a skill that is rarely written in leadership manuals. They learn how to compress themselves. Without anyone explicitly teaching it, women often become experts at: Softening their intuition Toning down their sharpness Filtering their real thoughts Regulating their emotional expression Ignoring the signals from their own bodies And they tell themselves, “It’s fine. I can handle it.” But self-compression does not remain subtle forever. If it continues long enough, it begins to show itself sometimes as exhaustion, sometimes as emotional numbness, sometimes as strained relationships, and sometimes as physical symptoms that the body can no longer ignore. Many women seek support only when the pressure becomes unbearable. Not because they are weak. But because they have been strong for too long while shrinking inside. Why do women shrink? While writing this article, a friend shared a quote with me: “She had this weird habit of being herself all the time. That’s why not everyone liked her. – Unknown” I could not stop giggling. Because in many ways, this captures the quiet tension women leaders often live with. Authenticity can still feel slightly “inconvenient.” Many of us were trained early in life not formally, but culturally. Girls grow up hearing subtle expectations, such as: Be humble. Be considerate. Be agreeable. Be a good girl. Alongside these messages come the warnings: Don’t be too strong. Don’t be too emotional. Don’t be too demanding. Don’t take up too much space. Over time, we learn to calibrate ourselves. To become just visible enough. Just powerful enough. Just confident enough. But never too much. The difficulty is that leadership has never been about being “just enough.” Leadership, by its nature, takes space. And taking space is not the same as being egotistical. It simply means allowing one's full presence, intelligence, and humanity to exist without unnecessary shrinking. Success is not meant to fit you into a smaller box Many women unconsciously assume that professionalism requires becoming a version of themselves that has: No body No emotions No personal needs No vulnerability In other words, a person who functions well in every role but rarely appears fully as herself. This pattern does not only appear in corporate environments. It often extends across life roles. A woman may be a respected professional, a devoted mother, a supportive partner, and a reliable friend, performing each role with impressive competence. Yet somewhere along the way, the person herself begins to disappear behind the roles she fulfils. The system works. But the self becomes compressed. Over time, something subtle but important begins to contract. Intuition shrinks Creative energy shrinks Emotional aliveness shrinks Personal desire shrinks Presence shrinks From the outside, everything still looks successful. But inside, life no longer expands through the person, it simply moves through a highly functional structure. Not shrinking is not the same as becoming self-centred Let’s be clear. Leading without shrinking does not  mean becoming self-absorbed or insensitive. It simply means: Allowing yourself to take up space Respecting the limits of your body No longer shrinking in order to be liked No longer silencing yourself in order to belong It means leading with your whole self, instead of a carefully edited version. And paradoxically, when leaders stop shrinking, they often become more stabilising for others. Authenticity is grounding. Presence is regulating. People can feel when someone is fully there. The next evolution of female leadership For many years, conversations around women in leadership focused on questions such as: How can women become stronger? How can women compete more effectively? How can women succeed in male-dominated environments? These were necessary questions at a particular stage of social development. But perhaps the next evolution of female leadership asks a different question. Not how women can become tougher. But how women can become less compressed. True leadership does not require women to: Become harsher Become more aggressive Suppress emotion Imitate masculine leadership models Instead, many of the most powerful leaders embody something quieter. They are less driven by external validation Their presence stabilises the room Their decisions arise from clarity rather than pressure Their boundaries are respected without force Their leadership does not cost them their humanity They lead without abandoning themselves. Wholeness: The missing dimension At its core, this conversation is not only about gender. It is about wholeness. Leadership that requires the fragmentation of the self eventually becomes unsustainable. Conscious growth invites something different. It invites individuals to integrate rather than divide themselves. To allow strength and sensitivity, clarity and intuition, authority and humanity to coexist. In this sense, the future of leadership may depend less on domination and more on integration. Wholeness is not perfection. It is the courage to be real. A question for this International Women’s Day Perhaps the real question is no longer, “Can women succeed?” Women have already answered that question. The deeper question now may be, “Can women succeed without losing themselves in the process?” Because the next stage of leadership evolution may not be about power. It may be about wholeness. The courage not to shrink. Not to compress. Not to squeeze oneself into whatever shape success is supposed to look like. True leadership is not about becoming smaller. It is about allowing life to stand more fully through you. A practical pathway If this perspective resonates, begin simply. Sometimes the first step toward leading without shrinking is reconnecting with your own inner stability. A free library of short guided meditations is available here . Even a few minutes of consistent practice can help cultivate clarity, emotional balance, and a deeper connection with oneself. From that place, leadership becomes less about performance and more about presence. Working with Jingying Xu, PhD Jingying Xu works with women, parents, and leaders who carry responsibility in families, organisations, and communities, and who wish to cultivate steadiness and clarity from within. Her work integrates meditation, embodied awareness, and consciousness-based development to support: Grounded presence in daily life Emotional regulation and clarity Intuitive discernment in decision-making Leadership rooted in calm authority rather than force She offers: Guided Meditation Programmes for Presence & Inner Governance 1-to-1 Mentoring for Women, Parents & Leaders A Weekly Newsletter on Meditation & Conscious Development Follow her on Facebook , LinkedIn and visit her website for more info! Read more from Jingying Xu Jingying Xu, Founder of Meditate Into Prosperity Jingying Xu (Ph.D., DipBSoM) is the founder of Meditate Into Prosperity, guiding professionals and leaders to transform inner power into outward presence through meditation, energy healing, and personal growth coaching. A certified Level-3 Meditation Teacher with the British School of Meditation and former Research Scientist at the University of Oxford, she combines scientific rigor with 18 years of practice. Blending Eastern wisdom with Western science, Jingying empowers clients to realign within, expand clarity and presence, and lead with authentic impact.

Written by Debi Wimberley, Medical Cannabis Educator Debi Wimberley is a TEDx speaker, author, Medical Cannabis educator, and quality health advocate redefining the conversation around wellness. She empowers others through science-backed insights, lived experience, and bold conversations that challenge the status quo. In Discovering What's Right for You Through Personalized Healing,  you learned something radical: your body knows what's just right. You learned to listen to its whispers, to trust that the standard approach might not be your approach. Now that you have awakened your inner knowing, the next step is crucial. But here's what happens next. You start listening. You hear your body. And then a question rises up from somewhere deep inside you. A question you've been too afraid to ask. A question that feels almost dangerous. What approaches are available beyond what doctors have been trained to see? What if my body isn't broken, just misunderstood? What if the side effects I'm experiencing are actually information? What if my "anxiety" is my nervous system trying to protect me? What if the answers I need aren't in their textbooks? What if I'm not "too much," I'm just more attuned?   A tale of curiosity Lewis Carroll wrote about a young girl who followed a white rabbit down a hole and tumbled into Wonderland. A place where nothing made sense. Where cats disappeared, leaving only grins. Where caterpillars asked impossible questions. Where queens demanded impossible things. Most people remember Wonderland as a place of nonsense and confusion. Here's another takeaway from the story: Alice survived Wonderland because she never stopped asking questions. She questioned the mad rules. She questioned the strange characters. She questioned everything, even when it made others uncomfortable. And in the end, her curiosity was what brought her safely home, transformed by what she'd discovered. The original story was about a girl who fell by accident. This story is about you choosing to jump.    Choosing to explore In the Wonderland story, Alice was young, but the truth is, the curious one lives inside all of us, regardless of age, gender, or background. The one who notices. The one who questions. The one who follows curiosity. In the world most of us grow up in, when it comes to health, someone else has the answers. Someone else writes the prescriptions. Someone else decides what's wrong with you. It’s all orderly, predictable, and completely unsatisfying. “It would be so nice if something made sense for a change!” You may have noticed that the answers you are given didn't match what you experienced. You may notice gaps in the explanations. You might pick up that when you ask certain questions, people get uncomfortable and change the subject. So most of you learned to stop noticing. You learned to accept the answers you were given and ignore the whispers of doubt. If your issues weren't resolved, you probably had more questions than answers. And one day, a rabbit hole appeared. Everyone else walked past it. Some pretended it wasn't there. Others warned you to stay away. "That's not for you," they said. "You don't need to go there. Trust the experts. Stay where it's safe." But something was stirring. A pull. A knowing. What if there's a part of me I've never been told existed or taught to explore? You don't fall. You jump. And what you’ll discover changes everything.   Going down the rabbit hole of Wiserland When you fall into your own Wiserland, you discover a world that operates by completely different rules. Things that seemed impossible before are simply normal here. Plants can heal. Bodies can communicate. Ancient wisdom dances alongside modern science. And there is a system, inside you, that holds the key to answers you've been searching for. Your Endocannabinoid System, your ECS. This is what curiosity reveals when you're brave enough to ask. The ECS isn't some fringe theory or alternative medicine fantasy. It's a biological system that exists in every mammal on Earth. Scientists identified it in the 1990s, though your body has been using it since before you were born. It regulates your sleep, your mood, your pain response, your immune function, your appetite, your stress response. It's the master conductor of your internal orchestra. It's been working to keep you balanced your entire life. And here's what makes this discovery so important: almost no one told you about it. Not because it's secret. But because it exists beyond what most healthcare providers were trained to see. And curiosity is what bridges that gap. Like Alice following the white rabbit, your curiosity leads you exactly where you need to go.   Becoming your own researcher Now is your chance to discover the ECS. You run experiments. You track patterns. You ask questions and test answers. You become acquainted with your own body in ways you've never been taught. This is what curiosity looks like in practice. You start noticing connections you missed before. That afternoon slump that hits every day at 3 p.m. Is it food? Sleep? Stress? Something else entirely? You get curious instead of frustrated. You observe instead of judge. You pay attention to what you eat, how you sleep, what stresses you, and what soothes you. Maybe you keep a journal. Maybe you use an app. Maybe you record voice memos. However you do it, capture it somewhere. Your body changes as you age, and so does your ECS. What worked five years ago might not work today. What you document becomes the guide that helps you understand your evolving system and sparks tomorrow's discovery. Patterns emerge that no one else could see because no one else lives in your body. You question the labels you've been given. Maybe "anxiety" is actually your nervous system responding intelligently to something real. Maybe "insomnia" is your body trying to tell you something specific. Maybe "chronic pain" has information embedded in it that you've never been invited to decode. You test things. Carefully. Mindfully. One variable at a time. Not recklessly, but playfully. Like a scientist who's genuinely curious about results, whatever they turn out to be. This is curiosity as a healing practice.   Listening to your body’s rhythm This new information changes how you understand everything: your ECS has been communicating with you your entire life. Every craving. Every sense of unease. Every moment when something felt "off," even though you couldn't explain why. These aren't random glitches. They're messages. Your body plays a rhythm. The ECS is its conductor. But no one taught you how to listen. No one helped you recognize the patterns. So the signals came through, and you had no idea what they meant. Curiosity is how you learn this rhythm. You start paying attention to what your body does when you analyze certain inputs. How does it respond to different foods? Different movement? Different sleep patterns? Different environments? Different people? You stop assuming that you already know. You ask your body questions, not with words, but with experiments. "What happens if I try this?" And then you listen. Really listen. To the actual response, not the response you expected or hoped for. This is how you become attuned to your body's rhythm. This is where your body's whispers become conversations you can actually understand. And here's something beautiful: when you become attuned to your own rhythm, you start to recognize the notes that don't belong. When you know your own rhythm, you stop being a patient, you become a partner in the dance.   Curiosity not criticizing Here's the beauty: something important to understand. When you start asking, "What is beyond what they've been trained to see?" you're not attacking anyone. You're not blaming your doctors. You're not rejecting modern medicine. Your healthcare providers did the best they could with what they knew. Most of them genuinely wanted to help you. The problem wasn't bad intentions. The problem was incomplete information. You're simply getting curious about what else might exist. There's a difference between criticism and curiosity. Criticism closes doors. Curiosity opens them. When you approach your health with curiosity instead of criticism, everything shifts. You stop looking for someone to blame and start looking for possibilities to explore. You stop feeling angry and start feeling empowered. You don't venture down this rabbit hole to prove anyone wrong. You enter because you suspected there is more to discover. And you are right. Following curiosity into possibility There's something playful about genuine curiosity. Children have it naturally. They ask "why" seventeen times in a row, not to annoy you, but because they genuinely want to understand. They experiment constantly. They test boundaries, not to break rules, but to learn where the limits are. Somewhere along the way, most of us lost that playfulness. We learned that asking too many questions was annoying. We learned that experimenting was risky. We learned to accept answers instead of seeking them. But here's the truth: most of us never really lose it. That curious child is still inside you, waiting to come out and play. What if your health journey could be an interesting quest? What if every question was a doorway? What if every step was a discovery? It means being engaged. Present. Interested in what you might discover. Your ECS responds to this energy. When you're curious and open, your nervous system recognizes safety. When you're playful instead of panicked, your body has more capacity to heal. Curiosity isn't just a mindset. It's medicine.   Learning to read the signals So, what if? All those years when you felt confused, when you didn't have answers, when you wondered why nothing worked the way it was supposed to, you weren't broken. You weren't failing. You weren't lost. You were receiving messages you hadn't learned to understand. Every frustration was a signal that something didn't fit. Every unanswered question was an invitation to dig deeper. Every moment of confusion was your inner curiosity, tugging at your sleeve, whispering, "There's more. Keep looking." The rabbit hole was always there. You just hadn't discovered it yet. And now? Now you're falling. In the best possible way. You're falling into knowledge you were never offered. Falling into understanding, you had to seek out yourself. Falling into a relationship with your own body that no one else can define for you. And in turn, you are cultivating more self-compassion along the way. This is what awakening looks like. Not a single moment of enlightenment, but a continuous unfolding of curiosity and discovery. You weren't lost. You were finding your way back to yourself.   Following your curiosity compass Goldilocks  taught you to recognize when something is "just right." Now you've learned how to find it. Curiosity is your compass. When you don't know where to go, look inward and ask a question. When you feel stuck, get curious about why. When something isn't working, wonder what else might be possible. Every question points you somewhere. Not every question leads to the answer you expected, but every question leads somewhere worth exploring. Your ECS is always responding. Your body is always speaking. The information is always available. The world has taught you to doubt yourself. The rabbit hole teaches you to trust your questioning. All you have to do is stay curious.   What comes next: The Princess who felt everything You've awakened your inner Goldilocks. You've learned to listen. Now you have curiosity as your compass to help you navigate the unknown. But curiosity often reveals something unexpected. As you start paying attention to your body, as you tune into its signals, you might discover that you feel more than you realized. That your sensitivity, the thing you've been told is too much, is actually something else entirely. In Article 4, you'll meet a princess who could feel a pea under twenty mattresses. Everyone called her too sensitive. But she knew something they didn't. Her sensitivity wasn't a flaw. It was her superpower. And yours might be, too.   Ready to jump? You've read the article. Perhaps you've felt the stirring. Now comes the part where you actually jump. Start small. Ask one question you've been afraid to ask. Notice one thing you've been ignoring. Get curious about one pattern in your body. Your compass is pointing. Will you follow it? For the truly curious explorer Join the Waitlist for Your HealthStory Book . Get exclusive access to behind-the-scenes insights, sneak peeks, and invitations to interactive mini-explorations you won't find anywhere else. Come see what happens when you follow curiosity into the unknown. Follow my personal journey on Instagram  for curiosity-sparking questions, pattern-noticing prompts, and permission to ask what no one else is asking. Discover how questions become your inner guide. Subscribe to the  Effective Cannabis Newsletter,  where fairy tales meet the magic of real-life science, and every issue plants seeds of possibility in minds ready to grow. The rabbit hole awaits. This is your invitation to explore. Join the Waitlist . Because curiosity isn't just a trait. It's a compass. And yours is pointing somewhere worth exploring.   Follow me on Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Debi Wimberley Debi Wimberley, Medical Cannabis Educator Debi Wimberley is a trailblazer in the Medical Cannabis space, blending lived experience with clinical insight. After surviving decades of chronic pain and lung disease, she transformed her journey into a mission to educate and empower. With a background in medical technology and oncology and certifications in Cannabis applications and patient care, she brings science and compassion together with a focus on health and improving quality of life. As founder of Effective Cannabis and the global EC Newsletter, Debi unites certified educators, coaches, and professionals to deliver fact-based, stigma-free education that inspires real change.

Written by Fabio da Silva Fernandes, Resilience, Mindfulness, and Reiki Enthusiast Fabio da Silva Fernandes knows what it's like to stumble. In 2021, he left his long career in the fintech industry to start his own wellness practice focused on mindfulness and Reiki, and now he explores the complex topic of resilience on his inspiring podcast called The Stumbling Spirit. Time and again, I have heard guests of my podcast say that connection is important in building resilience. In other words, cultivating a healthy connection to oneself and others that is based on compassion, where we feel supported and are better able to navigate the adversities of life. But what does it mean to have healthy connections? And when should we set boundaries with those we love? In this article, I broadly examine the basic principles of forming and maintaining sound connections. The connection paradox In my living memory, we have never been more connected through technology, yet never more divided as a society. This is the paradox of our times. Political discourse in this post-pandemic world of economic uncertainty and neo-nationalist movements has driven an ideological wedge between people. This climate has precipitated a landscape laden with eggshells and trigger warnings, which has mushroomed into an avoidant culture that is afraid of, or intolerant to, exchanging ideas and discussing issues at the risk of censorship and repercussions. To be clear, I am not suggesting that we had it better in the good old days. However, in this chasm of opposing ideologies coupled with avoidance, it might seem like an impossible task to foster greater connection. Adding to the mix, most of us are perpetually distracted by our handheld devices, which ironically could be one of the main reasons we are being kept apart. We cling to our smartphones and doom-scroll on social media for entertainment and to get the latest news in the form of short clips of micro-journalism. Technology has infiltrated every facet of our lives, and it seems as though we cannot get away from it. We are wired together by, and dependent on, technology but, in my opinion, it will never replace our human need for genuine connection. In her book Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age , MIT Professor Sherry Turkle argues that face-to-face conversation is the answer to sustaining healthy connections between people and enhancing our capacity for personal development. In terms of our relationship with technology itself, Turkle posits that we use it to try to solve our problem with loneliness. Turkle believes that our fear of being alone drives us to rely on our social media followers for validation and a sense of self-worth, but our facility for empathy and forming real relationships ends up suffering. Related article: Sci-Fi, Reality and The Search For Truth Chosen family, stale relationships If we are lucky, our chosen family might include our actual family members, but this term most often relates to dear friends who have ascended to the status of loved ones. These are the ride-or-die friends who are ready and willing to listen, offer advice, and lend support whenever needed. These are the friends we can count on at a moment’s notice, and who we would invite over for Christmas dinner without giving it a second thought. They are also the ones we have formed many cherished memories with. That said, relationships can change over time. Certain quirks that were once endearing might now be annoying. Also, boundaries can become blurred in relationships that have lasted decades. What was once considered caring behavior might now seem overbearing and possessive. Mi cancel es su cancel Perhaps this is an extension of cancel culture, but there is an increasing societal trend of cutting off friends and family as a means of resolving ongoing conflicts. While this decision might be necessary in extreme cases of psychological, emotional, and physical duress, it should not be taken lightly. Despite this phenomenon and the divisive sociopolitical zeitgeist, there appears to be a general yearning to bring people back together. Case in point: More in Common is an organization that was founded on the principle of bringing people together after UK Member of Parliament Jo Cox was killed for her personal beliefs in 2016. The ethos of More in Common is to understand what is driving divisiveness across the globe and to help promote social cohesion. In its 2026-2030 strategy document , More in Common outlines four priorities: producing insights and thought leadership to understand public attitudes, accompanying partners and leaders to deliver hard truths and provide actionable frameworks, joining and building networks and ecosystems to bring people together and share information, and expanding its reach to other jurisdictions around the world. In an ironic twist of fate, MP Jo Cox once said, “We are far more united and have more in common than that which divides us.” Boundaries The University of Rochester Medical Center says that “According to the American Psychological Association, a boundary (noun) is a psychological demarcation that protects the integrity of an individual or group, or that helps the person or group set realistic limits on participation in a relationship or activity. In other words, boundaries are expectations and needs that help people feel comfortable in their relationships and interests. Boundaries are a form of communication and help define what behaviors are acceptable to each individual.” Regardless of the proximity of a given relationship, it is important to set boundaries with everyone in our sphere. Sometimes it is just about understanding what and how much to share with specific people. It is also about discerning how involved we want to be in someone’s life and vice versa. It is essential to recalibrate relationships, especially when there is inconsistency in behavior. So much can be said for loved ones with the sensibility to bear witness to our journey in steady support. Conversely, individuals with possessive tendencies often project their own fears and wants onto others. While it might be couched as a demonstration of love and support, it is actually a bet against our autonomy and personal success. This is where boundary setting is essential, otherwise, we might build up resentment to the point of cutting off such relationships for good. Remember that setting boundaries is important for our own mental health, so there is no need to feel guilty about it. This is supported by the Mental Health Center , which says that “Many of us are taught to be people-pleasers, to put others’ needs before our own, or to ignore our personal limits in favor of productivity. Unfortunately, this comes at the cost of our mental health. Research shows that without clear boundaries, we risk burnout, anxiety, and emotional exhaustion.” If a boundary has been crossed that produces a strain in a relationship, then allow for a gap of time and distance away from that person to reassess the relationship and determine if you even want them back in your life. If possible, keep the door open to allow estranged family and friends to re-enter your life. After all, they might have reached a new stage of personal growth that could yield a healthier dynamic between you. And you might have grown as well. That said, not everyone deserves direct access to you. Ultimately, you get to decide who you want in your life, who has your phone number, and who you connect with online. Expectation vs. reciprocity It is crucial to form relationships that are in mutual reception. To illustrate this idea, let us explore the difference between expectation and reciprocity. According to Dictionary.com, expectation is defined in part as “the act or state of looking forward or anticipating,” and “something looked forward to, whether feared or hoped for.” A particularly harmful dimension of expectation is when people hold something against those they have helped. It is a premeditated or unconscious debt that they have decided will never be repaid to an acceptable standard. Invariably, this kind of debt is masked as guilt. In fact, in some families, the very fact of being born into the world puts a child in the red for their entire lifetime. Those with such unreasonable expectations might make a mental list of what they have done and for whom, and they bank on the fact that they will never get a return on investment. On the other hand, reciprocal relationships are balanced relationships that are mutually compensatory. Some people might describe it as a give and take, but I see it as a harmonious flow of energy between people. This exchange of energy can include expressions of gratitude and thanks, being physically and emotionally present, performing small acts of kindness, and gift-giving. Dictionary.com simply defines reciprocity as “a mutual exchange,” while Merriam-Webster says that it is “the quality or state of being reciprocal: mutual dependence, action, or influence,” and Cambridge Dictionary defines reciprocity as “behavior in which two people or groups of people give each other help and advantages.” From my perspective, reciprocity is not a like-for-like exchange in monetary value, it is about balance in the giving and receiving of energy between people, based on trust, respect, kindness, and understanding. Patterns of behavior There are patterns of behavior that we each exhibit towards one another that are healthy and unhealthy. While no one is perfect, it is important to have some level of consistency in how we behave in our relationships. For example, when a person is hot and cold and inserts passive-aggressive jabs on a regular basis, it is destabilizing and does not nurture an atmosphere of trust and safety in the relationship. It is also energetically depleting. In fact, this kind of dynamic can chip away at us and build up resentment to the point of not wanting to spend any time with someone with this tendency, resulting in slowly or abruptly pushing them away. This is why reciprocity is critical in maintaining healthy relationships. The gossip clue Gossip is pervasive in our society. We consume it online with headlines of the latest celebrity scandal. We have heard it from our friends and family, and yes, we have even spewed it ourselves from time to time. I think we can all agree that gossip is toxic. For clarity, I am not talking about venting to a friend about a personal situation. I am talking about the kind of unsubstantiated gossip that has no relevance to a conversation and can cause reputational damage to the individual in question, who is not present to defend themselves. In spotting this toxicity, we will be equipped to respond effectively to the person doing the gossiping by shutting the conversation down or simply walking away. This behavior is a clear red flag and indicator that the gossiper may not be trustworthy. Chances are that if they are dishing about others when they are not around, they will likely do the same to us when we are not in the room. Exercise caution. Forgiveness does not equal unawareness Forgiveness is key to unburdening ourselves of suffering, either due to something we did that we are not particularly proud of, or an action that someone took that inflicted pain upon us. It serves a double purpose: setting us free from the trap of rumination over a specific situation, and it is also deeply healing. That said, forgiveness does not equal unawareness . In the case of forgiving a friend or family member, it does not necessarily mean that things will revert back to ‘normal.’ Rather, it could be a catalyst to set up healthy boundaries that will facilitate a new kind of relationship to emerge. Alternatively, it could also be the straw that breaks the camel’s back, leading to both of you going your separate ways. Whatever decision is made, it does not have to be done in a dramatic or malicious fashion. Whether you choose to continue a relationship or not, the decision should come from a place of love and compassion. Is a relationship worth keeping? In order to know if a connection is worth sustaining, it is essential to ask some hard questions about the relationship itself, especially if it is on life support. Is there harmony or disharmony in the relationship? How do you feel before, during, and after interactions with this person? Is your perception of this person real, or have you told yourself a story about them that is not true? How have you contributed to this unhealthy dynamic? Is the relationship rooted in trust, respect, kindness, and understanding? Have you communicated your concerns with the person in question? Is this individual self-aware enough to take on feedback and adapt? Is the relationship worth salvaging? How do you foresee the dynamics changing? Is it time to set up new boundaries? Answering these questions might give you the clarity needed to know your next steps in handling a troubled relationship. 10 tips to navigate relationships Below are some tips on building healthier relationships: 1. Connection to self The most important relationship is the one we have with ourselves. It is from this place that all other connections emerge. In other words, having a healthy connection with oneself, including a positive self-image, self-confidence, love, and compassion, will permeate throughout our entire constellation of friends and family. If we have a poor self-image, we might compensate as a people-pleaser and get ourselves into toxic relationships. Practices such as mindfulness, physical fitness, and creativity can help build a healthier relationship with ourselves. Related article: What We've Gotten Wrong About Resilience 2. Connection to nature and other sources of spirituality When we connect with the natural world, there is something that happens to the spirit that revitalizes it and helps us understand and appreciate our connection to all things. This is the kind of mindful awareness that people experience in meditation and in states of contemplative prayer. Related article: The Miracles That Power Resilience 3. Most people are good people I truly believe that most people are good people, even if they are not your cup of tea. This does not mean that you have to treat them badly. Within a constellation of relationships, there are different orbits. We get to decide which orbit each person moves within in our lives. While we are all part of the same solar system, we get to choose everyone’s planetary placements in relation to ourselves. 4. Connect in-person, whenever possible As mentioned earlier, research shows that in-person interactions enhances relationships and also improves our capacity for empathy and compassion, whereas technology causes physical and emotional distance between people, and can create tension along ideological lines. 5. Be open to dialogue and listen They say that listening is the key to effective communication. However, in this era of sports team politics and cancel culture, dialogue is now rife with avoidance, dogma, and self-censorship. I describe it as collective passive aggression. It is an unsustainable situation. If you reflect on the divisions sown within families, between friends, and in our community, it is the kind of divisiveness that has produced stalemates and, in some cases, irreparable damage to relationships. What can be done to bridge the gap? We can listen more, really listen, and try to arrive at a place where we can exchange ideas without attempting to convince one another of our righteousness. Listen, be open, and ask questions. Perhaps we can start the conversation off by saying, “In my current awareness, I see this situation in this light… how do you see it?” Related article: The Gifts of the Beginner's Mind 6. The importance of acceptance Accept people as they are and, at the same time, speak your truth and call out ambiguous or inconsiderate behavior. The only things we can control are our decisions and responses to the people around us, including whether we want to have a connection with them at all. It is also important to accept ourselves in relation to where we are in our journey of personal development. Acceptance is a fundamental attribute of mindful self-compassion. 7. Think beyond yourself In the rat race of life, we might feel like a cog in the wheel of a societal system that imposes structures and routines in our lives, making it hard for us to think about anyone else but ourselves. This might be due to our preoccupation with affording the lifestyle we have created for ourselves, including the homes, the cars, the trips, and weekend activities that are meant to inject some semblance of normalcy. The reality might be quite the opposite. Additionally, the image we desire to attain and sustain for ourselves can trigger insecurities and lead to unhealthy competition when we compare ourselves with our neighbors. Unfortunately, many people do not take stock of what is important in life until they lose a loved one or come face-to-face with their own mortality. Life is more than wealth acquisition and crossing goals off a checklist. It is about connection. 8. Allyship Part of thinking beyond ourselves is showing up for the people in our community. We have seen this in action with the recent events in Minneapolis, where American citizens protested against US federal officers in their crackdown on undocumented workers and immigrants. In this standoff between law enforcement and the general public, we witnessed the best and worst of humanity. 9. Be compassionate and help people When we help family, friends, neighbors, and strangers, we are working toward making this world a better place. This can be achieved through physical presence, offering emotional support, and cheering the successes of those around us. We can also volunteer our time and expertise at a local non-profit organization. 10. Throw a party When was the last time you hosted a party or planned a gathering? If it has been a while, this might be an opportunity to bring friends and family together in a shared moment of celebration and fun. The key is to create an opportunity for connection, conversation and closeness with those we care about and love. It is also a chance to form new bonds with neighbours in your community. Connect through the heart The path to connection is through the heart, and that is the root from which healthy relationships blossom. We should not wait for a death of a loved one or a natural disaster to drive us to come together. As I mentioned earlier, while there are worst-case scenarios for severing relationships, this decision ought to be the exception, not the rule. Unless it is an irreconcilable difference, it is important to have grace because no one wants to be judged based on a bad day. I am generally not a fan of the saying, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” It really depends on the breach and pattern of behavior. I think it is important to have compassion because we are not always going to be the best version of ourselves at every given moment. As best-selling author, Pia Mailhot-Leichter, recently said on my podcast, “No matter what might happen to you in this world, no matter what experiences might be thrown your way, don’t allow them to change who you really are. When someone does you harm, we might feel tempted to do harm back to that person, but, for me, real resilience is not allowing an experience to change the nature of who you are, in a beautiful way. As I get older, resilience is not only tough sharp edges and a good one-two punch. Resilience to me is actually staying soft and loving and kind. Soft round corners, not sharp edges, in the face of uncertainty, in the face of strange cruelty, in the face of people’s fears. Not allowing that to make you harden.” To learn more, book me for a talk and consultation today . To listen to The Stumbling Spirit Podcast, click here, or you can find my show on your favorite podcast streaming platform. Follow me on Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Fabio da Silva Fernandes Fabio da Silva Fernandes, Resilience, Mindfulness, and Reiki Enthusiast For most of his professional career, Fabio da Silva Fernandes worked in the tech industry as a customer support leader. About a decade ago, Fabio began his mindfulness journey, incorporating the practice of presence into his life on a regular basis. In his pursuit of personal wellness, Fabio attained several mindfulness certifications and, in 2018, delved into the world of energy work and started his Reiki training. Fabio is now a certified Reiki Master and Reiki Master Teacher. In 2021, Fabio left his career in fintech to launch his own wellness business called Resting Bell Wellness Inc., which is now branded under the name of his resilience podcast, The Stumbling Spirit.

Written by Shardia O’Connor, Cultural Consultant Shardia O’Connor explores identity, power, leadership, and social conditioning through a values-led, critical lens. Humanity is messy. Beautiful, yes, but chaotic, emotionally volatile, and often unconsciously harmful. Across workplaces, social circles, family systems, and even online spaces, dysfunction is normalised. We call it "humanity," but what our bodies feel is chronic stress. The nervous system reacts to threats, real or perceived, long before the mind can rationalise. Passive-aggressive colleagues, manipulative leadership, draining friendships, and family dynamics that repeat dysfunction, all of it triggers fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. Over time, constant exposure trains the nervous system to operate in survival mode. Burnout, anxiety, fatigue, and emotional exhaustion are not weaknesses, they are biological responses to sustained dysregulation.[1] [2]   Toxic environments are everywhere Stress is often framed as an individual issue, yet environmental factors, especially leadership and culture, play a central role. The Health and Safety Executive reported 776,000 UK workers experienced work-related stress, depression, or anxiety in 2023/24, resulting in 16.4 million lost working days.[3]   Leadership sets the emotional tone. Toxic leaders, those who manipulate, intimidate, or lack empathy, create workplaces where survival, not creativity, governs behaviour.[4] [5] When psychological safety is absent, employees' nervous systems remain in overdrive. Emotional contagion ensures that dysregulated leaders infect entire teams with anxiety and tension.[6]   Women are often disproportionately affected. Social conditioning encourages endurance, supporting harmony, absorbing emotional labour, and tolerating dysfunction at home or work. Research shows that nearly one in four UK jobholders feels unable to cope with stress and pressure in their jobs.[7] Tolerating constant strain often leads to burnout, emotional exhaustion, and a quiet hardening of the spirit.   When home and work both fail Many rely on one environment as a safety net. A stressful job feels manageable if home offers emotional support. Family strain may feel easier if work is stable and affirming. But when both systems are toxic, the nervous system rarely rests. Prolonged exposure to conflict, criticism, or manipulation across multiple life areas triggers chronic physiological stress, disrupting sleep, immune function, and cognition.[1] The result? Individuals internalise dysfunction, normalise harmful behaviour, and may replicate it elsewhere.[8] Toxicity becomes cyclical, not only harming the individual but also eroding social and professional systems over time. Communities, workplaces, and families all pay the price when dysfunction is treated as "normal."   What others tolerate is not your standard Women often tolerate environments that erode well-being because endurance is praised over awareness. But what others put up with is not what you must accept. Nervous system sensitivity is not weakness, it is intelligence. Self-regulation requires recognising when something is misaligned with your mind, body, or soul, and having the courage to respond accordingly. Women who step away from toxic relationships or workplaces are not fragile. They are self-aware. They prevent burnout, preserve energy, and support clarity. They understand that ignoring physiological and emotional warning signs eventually comes at a steep cost. Self-regulation allows women to act from a sense of stability rather than from survival, interrupting cycles of dysfunction passed down through culture, family, and professional systems.   The science behind regulation Polyvagal theory explains how the nervous system constantly scans for safety or threat cues.[9] Supportive relationships and psychologically safe workplaces allow the nervous system to relax, improving decision-making, creativity, and resilience. When environments are hostile or emotionally unstable, the nervous system remains in a state of hyper-vigilance, impairing performance and well-being.[1]   Chronic stress elevates cortisol, increases cardiovascular risk, and contributes to anxiety and depression.[2] Emotional labour and gendered expectations amplify these effects in women, particularly when cultural norms pressure them to absorb conflict or support harmony at personal cost.[10]   Self-regulation as quiet power Choosing awareness over endurance is revolutionary in a culture that glorifies survival. Women who regulate their nervous system, set boundaries, and step away from toxic dynamics are exercising intelligence and strength, not avoidance. Protecting your mind, body, and soul interrupts unhealthy cultural cycles and safeguards wellbeing for the wider community. Healthy leadership, organisational culture, and social dynamics begin with individuals who refuse to normalise dysfunction. By recognising when an environment is harmful and acting accordingly, women create ripples that extend into families, workplaces, and society.   Closing reflection In a world where dysfunction is normalised and endurance mistaken for resilience, self-regulation becomes an act of clarity. Not everyone will understand it. Some people will continue tolerating environments that slowly exhaust them, professionally, personally, and emotionally. But awareness changes everything. Women who step away from toxic dynamics are not weak, they are listening to their bodies, protecting their minds, and acting with wisdom. Because protecting your nervous system is not avoidance, it is strength. And in a culture that rewards survival over awareness, that strength may be one of the most revolutionary acts a woman can perform. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Shardia O’Connor Shardia O’Connor, Cultural Consultant Shardia O'Connor is an expert in her field of mental well-being. Her passion for creative expression was influenced by her early childhood. Born and raised in Birmingham, West Midlands, and coming from a disadvantaged background, Shardia's early life experiences built her character by teaching her empathy and compassion, which led her to a career in the social sciences. She is an award-winning columnist and the founder and host of her online media platform, Shades Of Reality. Shardia is on a global mission to empower, encourage, and educate the masses! References (Harvard style): [8] Bandura, A. (1977). Social Learning Theory. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall. [5] Edmondson, A. (1999) 'Psychological safety and learning behaviour in work teams', Administrative Science Quarterly, 44(2), pp. 350–383. [6] Hatfield, E., Cacioppo, J.T., and Rapson, R.L. (1994). Emotional contagion. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. [3] Health and Safety Executive (2024). W ork-related stress, anxiety, or depression statistics in Great Britain . [10] Hochschild, A.R. (1983). The Managed Heart: Commercialisation of Human Feeling. Berkeley: University of California Press. [1] McEwen, B.S. (2004) 'Protection and damage from acute and chronic stress', Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1032, pp. 1-7. [ 7] Mental Health UK (2023) Running on Empty: Workplace stress statistics. [2] NHS (2023) Stress and its effects on your body. [9] Porges, S.W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. New York: W.W. Norton & Company. [4] Schmidt, A.A. (2008). Development and validation of the Toxic Leadership Scale. Maryland: University of Maryland. W orld Health Organisation (2019) .  Burn-out: an occupational phenomenon.

Written by Katrina Batey, Anxious Children Parent Coach Katrina Batey specialises in how parents can support their children with anxiety. She is a trained S.P.A.C.E. anxiety treatment provider and mental health coach, working with parents across the UK and internationally to help their anxious children overcome anxiety and build confidence. As a parent, seeing your child anxious can be heartbreaking, and your instinct is often to make it better by reassuring or avoiding triggers. However, this well-intentioned approach can inadvertently reinforce anxiety over time. In this article, we explore how the pattern of "anxiety accommodation" can be harmful and offer practical strategies to help your child build confidence, tolerance for distress, and emotional resilience. Helping your child face their fears can empower them to thrive despite anxiety. Are you accidentally reinforcing your child’s anxiety? When your child is anxious, your instinct is simple, make it better. You reassure. You adjust plans. You speak for them. You avoid the situation that upset them last time. It feels loving, protective, and responsible. But here’s the uncomfortable truth about childhood anxiety: Sometimes the very things we do to reduce our child’s anxiety are the things that keep it growing. This pattern has a name in psychology, 'anxiety accommodation', when parents change their own behaviour to prevent or reduce a child’s distress. And while it comes from love, it can quietly fuel avoidance and make anxiety in children stronger over time. What is anxiety accommodation? Anxiety accommodation happens when we modify routines, environments, or expectations to help our anxious child avoid discomfort. This might look like: Staying at every birthday party instead of encouraging independence Sleeping next to them every night to prevent separation anxiety Speaking for them in social situations Letting them skip school due to school anxiety Avoiding restaurants, clubs, or new places because they might get upset In the short term, accommodation works. Your child calms down. The meltdown stops. Everyone feels relieved. But that relief is exactly what strengthens the anxiety cycle. Why preventing anxiety makes it worse Anxiety grows through avoidance. When a child avoids something that feels scary, their nervous system learns, “That situation really was dangerous. Good thing we escaped.” The next time the situation appears, the fear comes back stronger. Over time: The feared situations increase The child’s confidence decreases Their world becomes smaller This is how childhood anxiety quietly expands. The problem isn’t that your child feels anxious. The problem is that they never get to discover that they can survive feeling anxious. The relief trap parents get caught in If you’re parenting an anxious child, the chances are you're probably accommodating because it’s natural. And it’s important to note that accommodations don’t cause a child’s anxiety, they are a reaction to a child’s anxiety. You’re not to blame, and your child’s anxiety isn’t your fault. You ’re also not accommodating because you’re weak. You ’re accommodating because: You hate seeing your child distressed You feel responsible for preventing suffering You’re exhausted by daily battles You worry that pushing will cause harm And here’s the part no one talks about: accommodation reduces your anxiety too. When you let them avoid the sleepover, the tears stop. When you stay home, there’s no meltdown. When you answer for them, the awkward silence disappears. Your nervous system gets relief. So the pattern repeats. Without realising it, the whole family becomes organised around preventing anxiety rather than building tolerance for it. What actually helps an anxious child? Helping a child with anxiety doesn’t mean removing fear. It means helping them learn, “I can feel scared and still cope.” That shift changes everything. Instead of preventing anxiety, we gradually reduce accommodation and support brave behaviour in manageable steps. For younger children, this might look like: Sitting at the edge of the birthday party instead of staying fully involved Walking them to the classroom door instead of into the classroom Encouraging them to order their own food while you stand beside them Staying present during bedtime anxiety, but not lying down with them This approach builds what anxious children truly need: distress tolerance. But won’t this make my child more anxious? Yes, temporarily. When you first stop accommodating, anxiety often increases. This is called an extinction burst, when a behaviour briefly intensifies before it decreases. If you’ve always stayed at parties and suddenly you don’t, your child’s protest may get louder before it settles. This doesn’t mean you’re damaging them. It means their nervous system is adjusting. When you stay calm, warm, and consistent through that discomfort, your child learns something powerful: “I didn’t like that, but I survived.” And survival builds confidence. The difference between support and accommodation The goal isn’t to become cold or rigid. Children with anxiety need empathy and connection more than ever. The difference is this : Accommodation says, “I’ll remove the fear so you don’t feel anxious.” Support says, “I believe you can handle this feeling, and I’ll stay with you while you do.” That subtle shift changes the long-term outcome dramatically. What overcoming childhood anxiety really looks like Overcoming childhood anxiety doesn’t mean your child stops feeling afraid. It means: They go to the party even though they feel nervous. They speak even though their voice shakes. They sleep in their own bed even if they call out once. Confidence isn’t built by eliminating fear. It ’s built by moving forward with fear present. And that only happens when we stop organising family life around preventing anxiety and start building our child’s ability to tolerate it. If you’re stuck in the accommodation cycle If you recognise yourself in this article, please know this: You are not causing your child’s anxiety. You are responding to it the best way you know how. But if anxiety is running your household, if you’re walking on eggshells, constantly adjusting plans, or feeling trapped by your child’s fears, it may be time for a different approach. Because your child doesn’t need a world with no anxiety. They need the skills and support to handle it. And with the right guidance, that is absolutely possible. Follow me on Instagram  for more info! Read more from Katrina Batey Katrina Batey, Anxious Children Parent Coach Katrina Batey understands childhood anxiety not just professionally, but personally, as she has been on this journey herself. It can feel bewildering, isolating, and overwhelming. This led her to train in effective and evidence-based techniques that parents can use to support their child to overcome childhood anxiety. She has seen firsthand the transformative role parents can play in easing anxiety and building resilience. Katrina is passionate about reframing the narrative around parenting and anxiety because parents are not the problem, but they can be the solution.

Written by Tricia Brouk, Founder of The Big Talk Academy Tricia Brouk helps high-performing professionals transform into industry thought leaders through the power of authentic storytelling. With her experience as an award-winning director, producer, sought-after speaker, and mentor to countless thought-leaders, Tricia has put thousands of speakers onto big stages globally. Being able to support speakers in using their voices for impact is a privilege, and I had the pleasure of sitting down with Dr. Lia Roth, a distinguished psychoanalyst and bestselling author, to discuss why shame is not our enemy. Dr. Roth shares her powerful perspective on why shame should not be viewed as the enemy but as a vital signal of personal growth. Together, we delve into how embracing shame can unlock new levels of transformation, self-awareness, and belonging. Born in Argentina and based in St. Louis, Dr. Lia A. Roth is a psychoanalyst, keynote speaker, and bestselling author whose groundbreaking work on shame and betrayal has changed how we love, lead, and belong. She’s written more than ten books, including the bestseller, "Get In or Get Out, But Don’t Stay in the Freakn’ Middle", and the Routledge-published "Psychoanalytic Perspectives on Gaze, Body Image, Shame, Judgment and Maternal Function". Her research has been shared on academic stages across three continents. Dr. Roth is known for her passion and sharp insight, without the drama. Dr. Roth, you say shame is not our enemy. That is a pretty bold statement. Where did you come to this? When I say shame is not the enemy, I mean it is a signal at the edge of growth. Most people, though, use the word shame referring to something else, a concern about inadequacy. For me, shame is early. Primary shame begins in the mother-baby dyad, in those brief regulating moments with a “good enough” mother. That is our first experience of belonging, and shame shows up along its way. We grow up believing the world is divided. Safe or dangerous, inside or outside, belonging or outcast. We build what I call a comfort zone—a psychological field where we know how we are seen. Inside it, we move with some certainty. We know what to expect. Even if we don’t like it, we can prepare for it. But growth doesn’t happen there. The moment we step toward the unknown, a new role, a new relationship, a new level of visibility, shame shows up. Not because there is something inherently wrong with us, but because we are crossing a boundary, and that requires something else from us. Beyond that boundary there is a new logic. It requires capacity for holding frustration, delaying gratification, and for adaptation. New effort. New coordination between who we were and who we are becoming. Most people interpret that sensation as proof they shouldn’t move forward. I interpret it as preparation. Sartre said shame is self-awareness. I agree, but not as exposure or humiliation. I see shame as a sort of alarm system. Shame is not the enemy. It is the nervous system announcing you are about to expand. You also talk about how shame is the most underdiagnosed condition When I say shame is underdiagnosed, I also mean we constantly misname it. Shame has to do with belonging as survival, not connection as preference. If we matter to anyone, odds are we’ll make it. So we perform the roles given to us. We become the child-grown-adult ticking the to-do list of who we’re supposed to be, even when it doesn’t feel like us. Or we refuse to play at all. Then we see avoidant structures. They are built on a deep expectation of not being received. The person doesn’t avoid because they are fragile. They avoid because they anticipate exclusion. That’s why I ask every patient about friendships and whether they wish they had more. Hypersensitivity to criticism, fear of negative evaluation, and social inhibition are symptoms of avoidant personality disorder. The person often longs for connection. They want friends. They want intimacy. But they hold back. Not because they don’t care, but because they expect rejection. So, they enact their fear and keep distance, while engaged in their fantasy. This is what I mean by underdiagnosed. These patients show up in clinical settings, but shame is rarely named as the organizing logic. We treat the anxiety, the depression, the withdrawal, and yet we don’t always ask the deeper question. Did this person learn that belonging must be earned? Do they believe autonomy risks expulsion? Once we understand shame, and primary shame, we can see that the root of many struggles is not the humiliation of inadequacy. It’s the fear of falling out of the field that lets us exist. By the way, this is what I’m writing about in my next book, "Not Anymore". Because when we take on a script, perform a role, and stay inside the comfort zone of what we can anticipate, we become vulnerable to betrayal. One day you wake up and realize you don’t actually know who is next to you—the person you built so much of your sense of self around. That’s why shame and betrayal are relatives. I wrote about this in my previous book, the bestseller "Get In or Get Out, But Don’t Stay in the Freakn’ Middle". How do we so often confuse shame with criticism based on our feelings of inadequacy? Most people think shame is what we feel when someone criticizes us. When we are judged or feel exposed in our weakness, defect, or forbidden desires. But let’s slow it down, like a cinematic scene. Imagine you’ve been invited to a rooftop party in New York. Hours before the gathering, you start anticipating. Who will be there? What the conversations will be like? You idealize the Other. And you start preparing. You need the right hairstyle, the right shoes. Remember last time? Clothes spread across the floor while you pump up the good vibes and hide whatever feels uncertain. Then you arrive. At the door, you feel a cold rush running through your spine. As Sartre would say, you become self-aware. And for a soft electric instant, you feel the eagerness of hope. The hope of being received and welcomed. When you step into the room, you do not walk in neutral. You sense the field immediately. You scan faces. You read tone. In seconds, you build an image of how this is supposed to go. Once again, you adjust how you look, what you say, how you appear, in order to belong. And if that image cracks, you stumble. The qualities you placed “out there” come rushing back as criticism. I was too much. I am not enough. That collision feels unbearable. We call that shame, but that feeling is not shame. That is the collapse of idealization inside a relational field. We organized our performance for belonging around a fantasy, and now it returns as a pinprick, the return of projection. Shame? Shame was that soft second at the door. The bodily alert at the edge between the comfort zone and the unknown. What is your personal story of shame, and why did you start studying shame? I started studying shame after skin cancer. There was a tiny dot above my mouth. After Mohs surgery, it became a 50-stitch scar. Suddenly, my whole life took a stance. I felt marked. As if I were carrying a stigma. As if I might quietly drop off the map. People began telling me stories. An aunt. A godmother. Someone who “had something like that” and was never quite seen the same way again. It was subtle, the social disappearance. At the same time, I was working with my editor. I noticed she kept her hands under the table. One day I asked why. She told me that when she was in her 20s, a little kid said she had “witch-looking hands.” She had been hiding them ever since. That’s when it clicked. It wasn’t about stitches. It wasn’t about skin. It was about the body as a site of belonging. About how quickly we internalize a message that something about us disqualifies us from being fully seen. I realized I had a choice. I could hide away, or I could study the mechanism. I chose to study it. And that decision changed everything. Can you share a little bit about your “Cracked Mirror” concept? Cracked Mirror was the name of a research project I began with a simple prompt: Have you ever been praised or criticized about your body, or any part of it? Three things strike me. First, all the experiences shared except for one were negative. I even tweaked the prompt during the pilot section. Still. Only one participant recalled winning an award at school for her “beautiful eyes” when she was five. It sounded positive. But as she reflected, she connected that moment to later experiences of feeling constrained as a woman in professional spaces. The second thing was the depth and length. Most people shared decades of suffering. Something that happened during adolescent times, a message that was left in them. At times it was not even clear if the message was aimed at them, like the case of Dr. Dillon (not his real name) who took his shirt off at 14, and someone who was not looking at him, said, “I would be ashamed if I have a belly like that.” He rides his bicycle every day to keep trim. The third thing was an unexpected finding. Those that had their part surgically repaired continued to deal with that part of their body as if present. I called this the shadow body part. Almost everyone described managing the criticized part of their body—adjusting clothing, posture, hairstyle, making jokes such as “This is no banana, this is my nose,” as Jimmy Durante. Goffman’s conceal, disclose, and distract measures to avoid social rejection were evident. It isn’t limited to bodies. It extends to education, intelligence, from speech tempo to pronunciation, from vocabulary to perceived vulgarity. These traits are not just personal attributes we feel the need to address to fit in. They function as social hierarchy markers. We are constantly signaling. A few months ago, I was at a coffee shop I frequent. The barista had a new tattoo, a small rainbow. He told me he wanted people to know it was “safe to talk.” Even that is a signal. An attempt to regulate the relational field before a word is even expressed. We display parts of ourselves. We edit others. We follow scripts for belonging. We invest upward, in authority figures who withhold love. We desire sideways, partners who remain partially unavailable. We perform relentlessly, hoping effort will convert into recognition. And we postpone autonomy, because stepping out means losing the relational field that regulates us. This is developmental inertia. Many times we grow older without fully growing up. What can we do today to face our shame, and why is this important? You are looking for the shame vaccine? Yes! Why not? So important, because shame does not only make us feel bad, it makes us small. We keep quiet in rooms where we could grow, we become people pleasers, we take on a role. Today, what you can do is practice relativism. Next time you feel like really bad, the “I am such an idiot” moment, breathe, ground yourself, and remember, it is not that bad. The vaccine? That is pretty much what I talk about in "Not Anymore", the book I am working on. The vaccine is not a hack. It’s a stance with two key ingredients. First, belonging is not about being accepted. It’s about showing up in a way that makes space for others too. True belonging is an offering. This is clear when you travel abroad, and you see less individualistic societies are often more welcoming. Second, autonomy. Belonging is a key element of our survival. Now, we are no longer babies in need of a mother. At this stage, survival is not physical and real. It is symbolic. The survival of our ego. If we matter to someone, if we are something to someone, we exist. In belonging, there is mirroring. This is so important that at times this dynamic is followed by guilt, and a need to repair. That’s us sending a gift, a card, an “I’m sorry.” Most of us grow older, but we don’t automatically grow out of the need to be authorized by someone else. Some people deny dependency. They say, “I don’t need anyone.” They don’t ask. They don’t wait. They don’t show the need. But they still hesitate. They still scan faces. They still live on the question, “What are they thinking of me?” Others take the rebel route. They do the opposite of what’s expected. They reject approval on purpose. But that’s still approval running the show, just in reverse. Whether we deny it, chase it, or fight it, we’re still orbiting the same center. The other person gets to decide if we are okay. We need to stop outsourcing that job. Autonomy is not isolation, not cold independence, and definitely not about control. Autonomy is when you can be with yourself without falling apart. When you can reflect on yourself without needing someone else to stamp you as “good.” Craving connection without needing it to rescue your worth. That is why, what most people call shame is a leash. It keeps brilliant people small. It keeps leaders performing instead of leading. It keeps love stuck in roles, Martyr and Magnet, Chaser and Avoider, Scorekeeper and Fixer. When autonomy grows, and you become the one who can smile first, open-hearted, offering belonging, shame loses its grip. And you don’t have to keep proving you deserve to exist. Next time you are at that soft second by the door, choose to show up as yourself. For more info, follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website ! Read more from Tricia Brouk Tricia Brouk, Founder of The Big Talk Academy Tricia Brouk helps high-performing professionals transform into industry thought leaders through the power of authentic storytelling. With her experience as an award-winning director, producer, sought after speaker, and mentor to countless thought-leaders, Tricia has put thousands of speakers onto big stages globally. She produced TEDxLincolnSquare in New York City and is the founder of The Big Talk Academy. Tricia’s book, The Influential Voice: Saying What You Mean for Lasting Legacy, was a 1 New Release on Amazon in December 2020. Big Stages, the documentary featuring her work with speakers premiered at the Chelsea Film Festival in October of 2023 and her most recent love is the new publishing house she founded, The Big Talk Press.

Written by Justin H. Briggs, Writer Justin H. Briggs is the author of "Insanity Comes To Mind: A Memoir on Mental Health," which was published on May 1st, 2020. He is a good writer working at being great. “Psychology is bullshit!” I told myself this for 25-odd years. Psychology was originally just a European philosophical practice, but boy, oh, boy, can you make some money off of the thing! Trauma, abandonment issues, diagnoses, it can never end, the psychological rabbit hole. Upon my first psychological session, I met a bearded, balding, bespectacled counselor who told me little and let me talk too much, like they do. Someone more important than me was in the car, and I did not want to be telling this man a god damned thing.   I would rather have spent the session with the person in my car. She had her own problems at the time, and I can still recall how she just wanted to “tag along” to my appointment as an excuse to get away from her own life for a minute.   In the session I attempted to cover 26 years of life in under an hour not a good approach, but the bespectacled therapist, or counselor, or whatever he may have been was clearly inundated with patients concerns other than mine, out of touch with the reality of mental illness as a lived experience, and at least overwhelmed by my presence if not my dialogue.   I was just diagnosed weeks before as having bipolar disorder, and was arguing with this man that marijuana seems safer than alcohol or pills. But my pills are necessary, he said, and alcohol is both legal and socially acceptable, so cut it with the weed bullshit. We were both confounded.   He delved into the booze: why quit drinking, he asked. It is a depressant, I replied, and I think I come from a long line of alcoholics, and I started drinking with my grandfather at the age of five. I thought this line of dialogue was a personal “breakthrough”, in the psychological sense, and that if I just quit drinking, maybe I could manage better. He said it was a nice thought.   The session ended, we scheduled out, and he told me to take my “big ideas” to my car and my supposed girlfriend. Maybe she would help. I was anxious to get away from this person and back to my car.   When I got back to the car and told my new girlfriend what my first therapy session was like, we both agreed that he seemed inadequate for the role. She and I moved on from each other in life, but in that time of mine, she was my North Star, and her compass will guide me forever, but that is trauma, right? I clung to her as a drowning man grips the rope on the side of a life raft. After a few months of my abuse of my medications, narcotics, alcohol, and ourselves emotionally, we drifted apart after I let go.   Alcohol then continued to play a recurring role in my life, with my next “counselor” telling me after a few evaluations that I was not an alcoholic, that I alone was not responsible for the damage done to our relationship by my drinking, and I seemed to be “surrounded by bad people”. That is bullshit in hindsight. I was afraid of myself, and so was everyone else. And so, I left my girlfriend, our life, and all hope for myself behind.   Pharmaceuticals, alcohol, and self-medicating trials and errors, after errors, after several further errors later, a declaration to my parents that “I feel like I need to kill myself and everyone else!”, and I then awoke in my first stay in a mental institution. Counseling “on the inside” mostly consisted of group therapy, literally coloring inside the lines with crayons like a child, and karaoke.   I was released within days on a technicality and left back to whatever psychiatry I could find and my own devices in terms of managing what was then diagnosed as mere bipolar disorder. A few institutions later, the loss of my 2 nd  amendment, and every relationship I have ever had, and I am now considered schizo-affective, bipolar-type. This means that, even with medications, I see things, hear things, and go through mood swings.   Judges have legally ordered me to take pills and talk to paid people about my problems. And I have been broke, financially, the whole time. I had not even been charged with a crime.   My next therapist, a bespectacled woman, claimed I had “incredible survival skills”. I asked her how I could thrive. We made daily, weekly, and further, bigger goals for me. I met them all on my deadline. But I am still alive and crazier than ever. But we were convinced then, or she was at least that, due to my traumatic birth, youth, and family life, that, for me, “money is love” and “I am attracted to chaos, or I create it out of habit.” Great frame of mind to put a human being into.   We continued our sessions for years, weekly or more frequently, via telehealth and across state lines. In our work together, I learned much about myself, the practice of psychology, and much more about the world at large. But the framework stuck.   I chased money with love and created chaos in every situation, no thought of seeking peace within. I abused myself as much as anyone thinks of any number of people. This counselling relationship ended like every other relationship I have had, yet poorly.   Moving on in counseling from the border-crossed, telehealth chaos to an in-person, fresh-faced therapist made a fresh start feel necessary. I was beginning another relationship, with a girlfriend, I mean, and my new partner helped me find services and paid for them herself. She literally saved my life with regard to a potential brain tumor, which, after three months, turned out to be a glandular problem.   My “third eye”, or penial gland, which regulates testosterone in men and allows humans to imagine, conceive ideas, visualize thoughts, and dream, was run through worse than any dive bar bathroom I have yet had the luxury to frequent. I was dying fast, and my girlfriend saved my life. Just took half a million of her dollars, or so, over six months of our time together, or so. But my new therapist was young, enthusiastic, and seemed generally interested in my problems, which, act or not, was a new tone to therapy for me. They seemed as dedicated as I was, at least, to “fix the problem”.   I recently cut ties with this therapist as well, however, for legal reasons at least. The things these people get paid to convince us to believe about ourselves, with or without their sympathy, have benefits and drawbacks, like anything else. Try to focus on the positive if that is possible. Follow me on LinkedIn and visit my website for more info! Read more from Justin H. Briggs Justin H. Briggs, Writer Justin H. Briggs is a writer located in Manhattan, Kansas, USA. He is more than his diagnosis and less than his potential for success, in his opinion, but he is working on that. His diagnosis of schizoaffective bipolar disorder manifests symptoms of depression, mania, delusions, paranoia, and hallucinations. He is in no way medically certified beyond the occasional CPR certification, but he has been there and done that, so to speak.

Written by Adam Markel, Author & Wellness Expert Bestselling author, keynote speaker, workplace expert, and resilience researcher Adam Markel inspires leaders to master the challenges of massive disruption in his new book. Across industries, I keep seeing the same thing happen. Leaders with impressive résumés are watching engagement drop, innovation stall, and good people quietly walk out the door. The old belief that “if I’m great at my job, people will follow” doesn’t hold up anymore. Competence is expected. Trust is what actually earns commitment. I first learned that lesson sitting on a lifeguard stand. If you said you’d watch a section of the water, you watched it. If you were exhausted, you told someone so the team could adjust. There wasn’t room for pretending. People relied on each other, and that created a got-your-back culture instead of watch-your-back. That same clarity still defines effective leadership today, especially in a hybrid world where uncertainty is constant.   From skill-based to trust-based leadership There was a time when being the most knowledgeable person in the room automatically positioned you as the leader. But today’s challenges move too fast and span too many specialties for any one person to carry that role alone. Teams don’t need a hero. They need someone steady. Someone who creates the right environment for good decisions to happen. Trust-based leadership shifts the focus from having answers to building conditions. It means being honest quickly, sharing context openly, and being willing to rethink decisions in public. When leaders model that, people stop waiting for direction and start contributing judgment. The team moves from compliance to ownership.   Why skepticism is rising Employees have been through a lot of organizational whiplash in recent years. Promises about flexibility changed. Structures shifted. Confident forecasts didn’t materialize. The signals people once used to judge stability aren’t as reliable anymore. So now they look for something else. They want to know where the organization is heading and why. They want transparency in how decisions are made and shared. And they want to feel like their well-being isn’t just another efficiency variable. Ironically, saying “we don’t know yet” often builds more credibility than offering a polished answer that avoids the truth. These days, clarity, consistency, and visible care matter more than perfect messaging.   Psychological safety is the engine Trust feeds psychological safety, and psychological safety drives performance. When people believe they can raise concerns, question assumptions, or admit uncertainty without punishment, the quality of thinking improves almost immediately. Problems surface sooner. Teams learn faster. Politics shrinks because people aren’t spending energy protecting themselves. You can usually spot a safe team by small behaviors. Leaders explain their reasoning out loud. Dissent is welcomed before decisions are locked in. Misses are reviewed for lessons rather than blame. As safety rises, ownership tends to rise with it.   Micro-behaviors that build or break trust Trust isn’t built in big strategy sessions. It’s built in small, repeatable moments. Starting meetings on time. Following through on commitments. Giving credit in public and critique in private. Explaining changes instead of pivoting without context. Asking someone how they’re doing and pausing long enough to hear the real answer. The opposite is just as powerful. Missed follow-through, unclear decisions, performative listening, or surprise changes chip away at trust quietly but steadily. Over time, those small withdrawals add up.   Trust, retention, and the cost of turnover People often say employees leave companies, but most of the time, they leave managers who make them feel unseen, unsafe, or uncertain. Hybrid work amplifies this dynamic. Without casual interactions or hallway conversations, even small disappointments can feel larger and linger longer. A single broken promise carries more weight when there’s less informal contact to offset it. But the reverse is also true. When leaders extend trust visibly through autonomy with clear guardrails, reasonable workloads, and humane expectations, people tend to stay. Not because of perks, but because the environment allows them to do meaningful work without sacrificing their health or dignity. Retention follows trust far more reliably than incentives do.   Trust and innovation in uncertainty Innovation needs both pressure and permission. Enough pressure to care about results, and enough permission to experiment without fear. Trust provides that permission. Teams that feel trusted run smaller, faster tests. They learn quickly and adjust openly. Mistakes become data rather than reputational risks. When trust is low, the opposite happens. Ideas get softened into consensus. Timelines stretch as people hedge. Energy shifts from solving problems to avoiding blame. In uncertain markets, that’s the slowest path to staying competitive.   What modern trust-building looks like in hybrid work Hybrid work broke many of the old signals we used to measure productivity and engagement. Presence alone no longer tells you much. What works better now is clarity and rhythm. Define outcomes early. Be explicit about decision ownership. Share what you know, what you don’t, and when updates will come. Make work more visible. Recaps, roadmaps, and reasoning shouldn’t live in private threads. Feedback loops should be short and regular. Replace status updates with learning reviews that ask what was tried, what surprised us, and what we’ll change next. Mentorship also matters more than ever. Not as a special program, but as a steady cadence of short conversations that build judgment over time. The shift is from micromanaging tasks to micro-mentoring people. Five practices you can implement this week Tell the truth faster. When conditions change, explain what shifted, why, and when the next update will come. People handle pivots better than spin. Tighten your promises. Make fewer commitments and keep them all. If one slips, acknowledge it quickly and reset. Narrate decisions. Before finalizing a call, explain what options were considered and what trade-offs shaped the outcome. It teaches the team how to think, not just what to do. Celebrate thoughtful attempts that didn’t work. Recognizing a smart experiment signals that learning matters as much as results. Protect energy in visible ways. Block time for deep work and recovery on your own calendar. When leaders model boundaries, teams believe they’re real. Leaders go first Trust spreads, but someone has to start it. That responsibility sits with leadership. You won’t always have the answer, and that’s no longer the standard. The standard now is creating conditions where the best answers can surface from the team. In a world that’s hybrid, fast-changing, and unpredictable, skill is still necessary. But trust is what turns skill into momentum. And it’s built one honest conversation, one kept promise, and one got-your-back moment at a time. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website  for more info! Read more from Adam Markel Adam Markel, Author & Wellness Expert Bestselling author, keynote speaker, workplace expert, and resilience researcher Adam Markel inspires leaders to master the challenges of massive disruption in his new book, “Change Proof – Leveraging the Power of Uncertainty to Build Long-Term Resilience” (McGraw-Hill, Feb. 22, 2022). Adam is the author of the 1 Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Los Angeles Times, and Publishers Weekly bestseller, “Pivot: The Art & Science of Reinventing Your Career and Life.”

Written by Arlana Tanner-Sibelle, Interspecies Connection & Wellness Coach | Author Certified holistic animal wellness and behavior consultant, speaker, facilitator, intuitive, and author of Moving Beyond Words. She blends five-element insight with holistic wellness tools to help guardians create calmer, healthier relationships with their companions. Many everyday cleaning products and home fragrances release chemicals that linger long after we use them. Indoor environments play a larger role in our health than most of us realize, especially for children and pets. Here’s how to create a safer, more supportive home. We often think of health as something influenced by diet, exercise, and stress levels. Yet one of the most powerful influences on our well-being and the well-being of our animals is much closer to home. Quite literally. The air we breathe indoors, the surfaces we clean, the furnishings we bring into our homes, and even the scents we use to “freshen” a space all contribute to our daily exposure. Indoor air quality matters more than many people realize. According to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, indoor air can be two to five times more polluted than outdoor air, and sometimes even higher. This pollution often comes not from dramatic sources, but from everyday household products and materials. These exposures are usually low-level and gradual, which makes them easy to overlook. Yet over time, they can influence respiratory health, immune resilience, and overall nervous system balance. Children and pets are particularly sensitive. Why children and pets are more vulnerable Animals experience the world through heightened senses. A dog’s sense of smell can be tens of thousands of times stronger than ours. Cats groom themselves meticulously, ingesting residues that settle on their fur. Both dogs and cats walk across freshly cleaned floors, absorbing traces through their paw pads and later licking them off. Children are also more susceptible due to their developing systems, smaller body mass, and proximity to floors and surfaces where residues accumulate. What may seem like a mild exposure for an adult can have a greater impact on smaller, more sensitive bodies, inside and out. “Wellness isn’t created in isolation, it’s shaped by the environments we share.” Everyday sources of indoor exposure Cleaning products Many conventional cleaners contain ingredients such as ammonia, chlorine bleach, synthetic fragrances, and phthalates. Some of these substances release volatile organic compounds (VOCs), which contribute to indoor air pollution and may irritate the respiratory system. Air fresheners and fragrances Air fresheners are designed to mask odors rather than remove their source. Research has shown that many fragranced products emit VOCs, including compounds such as formaldehyde and benzene, even when marketed as “green” or “natural.” For animals, whose sense of smell is highly developed, strong synthetic scents can be particularly overwhelming. While it may seem unrelated, it can affect behavior as well as create physical symptoms. Furniture and building materials Certain pressed wood products, finishes, and synthetic materials can emit formaldehyde over time. Formaldehyde is classified as a known human carcinogen and is one of the more common indoor air contaminants in newer or poorly ventilated homes. Not every piece of furniture poses concern, but awareness of materials and ventilation is important, especially in newly renovated or furnished spaces. The wellness connection Our homes are shared ecosystems. Air quality, chemical exposure, lighting, and sensory stimulation all influence how our bodies regulate and restore. When environments are less chemically burdened and more naturally balanced, both people and animals tend to settle more easily. Reducing environmental stressors may support: Easier breathing Fewer skin irritations More balanced energy A calmer shared atmosphere This isn’t about fear. It’s about informed stewardship. Creating a safer home, one step at a time The encouraging news is that safer alternatives are both accessible and effective. Simple options include: White vinegar for cutting grease and dissolving mineral buildup Baking soda for deodorizing and gentle scrubbing Castile soap is a mild, all-purpose cleanser Hydrogen peroxide for disinfecting surfaces Fragrance-free or low-toxin commercial products verified by independent guides such as the Environmental Working Group If using essential oils, always research pet safety carefully. Some oils, particularly around cats, require extra caution, proper dilution, and ventilation. Even small shifts, replacing one product at a time, increasing ventilation, and choosing solid wood over pressed wood when possible, can meaningfully reduce cumulative exposure. A broader perspective Choosing safer products isn’t about perfection. It’s about awareness. Our animals and children rely on us to create environments that support their health. When we understand how deeply our surroundings influence well-being, our daily choices take on new meaning. A “clean” home should not come at the cost of long-term wellness. These principles of environment, stewardship, and interspecies care are explored more deeply in my book, Moving Beyond Words: Our Shared Journey, where I examine how subtle shifts in awareness can transform the relationships we share with our animal companions. For more holistic wellness insights supporting people, pets, and the planet, explore the WE Wellness resource library here . Because when we create safer homes, we don’t just protect health. We nurture safety, trust, and connection. Contact: arlana.wewellness@gmail.com Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Arlana Tanner-Sibelle Arlana Tanner-Sibelle, Interspecies Connection & Wellness Coach | Author Arlana Tanner-Sibelle is the founder of We Wellness Solutions and the author of Moving Beyond Words: A Transformational Guide for Animal Guardians and Their Companions. With over 25 years of experience in holistic wellness and a lifetime of working with animals, she blends intuitive insight with integrative healing modalities to support both people and their companions. Arlana helps animal guardians create happier, healthier, and more harmonious relationships by guiding them from stress and frustration into calm, trust, and a deeper connection. References: Environmental Protection Agency (EPA). Volatile Organic Compounds’ Impact on Indoor Air Quality. Environmental Working Group (EWG). Guide to Healthy Cleaning. American Lung Association. Indoor Air Quality and Household Cleaners.ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center. Toxic and Non-Toxic Household Products. Beyond Pesticides. Health Effects of Household Cleaning Products.

Written by Tiffany Ludwicki, Health Coach Tiffany Ludwicki is well-known when it comes to Snoring and sleep issues. She is the founder of Mind Body Mouth and the Stop Snoring Solution (an online and virtual program) When parents hear the words “sleep apnea,” it can feel alarming. Images of sleep studies, medical equipment, and restless nights often come to mind. But for most children, airway concerns do not appear suddenly overnight. Rather, they develop gradually, shaped by everyday habits such as how a child breathes while watching television, how they rest their tongue, and how they sleep at night. Many parents first notice something small: a slightly open mouth while reading, soft snoring drifting down the hallway, or a child who seems tired despite an early bedtime. These observations are not causes for panic. They are simply pieces of information, signs that their child’s breathing patterns may need some support. The good news is that children’s bodies are adaptable. With awareness and early intervention, many functional patterns can be supported long before costly medical equipment becomes necessary. Understanding airway development in children A child’s airway is dynamic. It grows and adapts alongside facial development, muscle function, and breathing habits. Consistent nasal breathing, proper tongue posture against the palate, and balanced muscle coordination all contribute to healthy airway growth. When these functional patterns are disrupted (for example, through chronic mouth breathing, low tongue posture, forward head posture, or prolonged pacifier or thumb use), the airway may not develop as effectively. Over time, these habits can worsen sleep quality and impact a child’s breathing stability. Early awareness allows parents to support proper development rather than waiting for the symptoms to worsen. Early signs for parents Early intervention is often paramount in mitigating medical issues before they progress, allowing less invasive treatment. When the body’s signals that something isn’t developing optimally are noticed early, the issue can be addressed before it evolves into a more complex one. To ensure the potential signs are not missed, here are some common early indicators that assessment should be considered: Habitual mouth breathing during the day Open-mouth posture at rest Snoring or noisy breathing during sleep Restless sleep, frequent waking, or bedwetting Teeth grinding Baby teeth that are not spaced out Dark circles under the eyes despite adequate sleep time Difficulty focusing or daytime fatigue Prolonged thumb sucking or pacifier use beyond early toddler years These signs do not automatically indicate sleep apnea. They simply suggest that breathing or oral function may benefit from being evaluated and supported. If a child exhibits these traits, a consultation with a myofunctional therapist, pediatrician, sleep specialist, or airway-focused ENT or dentist is appropriate. Prevention through function, not fear It is important to emphasize that not every child who mouth-breathes will develop sleep apnea. The purpose of early intervention is not to predict disease, but to support healthy growth patterns while they are still adaptable. Children’s bodies are remarkably responsive. Small changes in breathing habits and muscle function can influence long-term development. Addressing concerns early often reduces the likelihood of more complex interventions later. How myofunctional therapy supports healthy development Myofunctional therapy focuses on guiding proper oral and facial muscle function through gentle, age-appropriate exercises and habit retraining. In children, therapy is designed to be supportive and educational rather than corrective or intensive. Goals of pediatric myofunctional therapy often include: Encouraging consistent nasal breathing Establishing appropriate tongue-to-palate resting posture Promoting lip seal at rest Improving muscle coordination for chewing and swallowing Supporting balanced facial growth By strengthening and coordinating these foundational patterns, myofunctional therapy helps create an environment in which the airway can develop more optimally. Myofunctional therapy works best as part of a collaborative care approach when needed. Early support does not replace medical evaluation; it complements it by focusing on functional foundations. A reassuring perspective for parents Parents do not need to feel anxious to be proactive. Paying attention to how your child breathes, rests, and sleeps is often enough to begin. Supporting healthy airway development is about nurturing strong, balanced foundations while growth is still flexible. Myofunctional therapy offers a gentle, non-invasive way to guide those foundations. Its focus is on encouraging nasal breathing and proper oral posture in a way that feels supportive rather than stressful. With early awareness and collaborative care when needed, many families can help reduce the likelihood of future sleep-related breathing challenges. What to expect at a first myofunctional therapy visit For many families, the first visit is simply a conversation. Parents are invited to share what they have noticed, the sleep patterns, breathing habits, feeding history, or any concerns about focus or daytime energy in their child. There is no pressure and no immediate intervention. Children are typically guided through a gentle, age-appropriate assessment, which includes photos, videos, and measurements. This may include observing how they breathe at rest, their standing posture, how their tongue rests and moves in the mouth, how their lips come together, and how they swallow. The process is interactive and often feels more like coaching than testing. If therapy is recommended, exercises are introduced gradually and in a way that feels achievable. For children, this often means short, playful activities designed to build awareness and coordination rather than intensity. Parents are shown how to support practice at home in simple, manageable ways. The overall goal of the first visit is clarity and reassurance. Families leave understanding their child’s breathing patterns and knowing whether supportive therapy could be beneficial before more costly and intrusive methods are required. Working with a trained myofunctional therapist can provide clarity, structure, and a sustainable path forward. You may not have access to a practitioner near you, but many are offering virtual care to support your needs. Here are some quick links to help you get started: Download a free guide to discover why you may snore or have sleep apnea: 5 Steps to Help Tired Adults Discover Why They Snore… And How to Get a Healthy Night’s Sleep without Disturbing Their Loved Ones . Book a free consult or snoring assessment call with a professional myofunctional therapist . Visit Mind Body Mouth for more information. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Tiffany Ludwicki Tiffany Ludwicki, Health Coach Tiffany Ludwicki is a leader in sleep performance. A history of snoring and memory loss, combined with a child born with airway issues, Tiffany created strategies to dramatically improve their sleep quality. She has since dedicated her life to helping others unleash the snoring beast within to find peace throughout the night and optimize their potential throughout the day. She is the founder of Mind Body Mouth and the Stop Snoring Solution, an online program with virtual group coaching to assist others in stopping snoring and reducing sleep apnea events. Her mission is to spread awareness of the dangers of snoring and, through snoring cessation, improve people's energy and reduce their risk for chronic disease and divorce. This article reflects current interdisciplinary perspectives on obstructive sleep apnea, oral function, and airway stability, informed by clinical education and research-based resources, including MindBodyMouth.net .