Written by   Sam Mishra, The Medical Massage Lady Sam Mishra (The Medical Massage Lady) is a multi-award winning massage therapist, aromatherapist, accredited course tutor, oncology and lymphatic practitioner, trauma practitioner, breathwork facilitator, reiki and intuitive energy healer, transformational and spiritual coach, and hypnotherapist. I recently spent some time trying to support someone who, as the result of severe trauma, became addicted to alcohol. This period of time has been probably the second most difficult time in my life, next to losing my children. I didn't have much experience with addiction and I still have much to learn. As much as I wish, at times, that I could have just walked away, it's not really in me to abandon someone who is vulnerable, particularly when I care so much about them as a person. Actually, despite having felt intense pain at being witness to his destruction, this time was also one of the most rewarding stages in my life, that has taught me so much more about myself, my boundaries, and about love and what it really means for me. But it also got me thinking about why so many people do turn their back on those they love who are suffering with addiction. Addiction is often called a family disease, not because it's hereditary, but because its effects ripple outward, touching everyone in an addict's orbit. Yet despite growing awareness that addiction is a medical condition rather than a moral failing, people frequently distance themselves from addicted loved ones. This withdrawal, emotional, physical, or both, occurs across all relationships, parents step back from children, siblings stop answering calls, friends fade away, and romantic partners leave. Understanding why people turn their backs on addicts requires examining a complex interplay of psychological defence mechanisms, societal stigma, emotional exhaustion, and the deeply human need for self-preservation. The persistence of moral stigma Despite decades of research establishing addiction as a chronic brain disease, public perception remains stubbornly rooted in moral judgment.[12] The National Institute on Drug Abuse has repeatedly emphasized that addiction involves changes to brain circuits involved in reward, stress, and self-control, yet surveys consistently show that many people still view addiction primarily as a character flaw or lack of willpower.[1] This moral framing creates a psychological permission structure for abandonment. When we view addiction through a moral lens, the addict becomes someone who is "choosing" their behaviour, repeatedly making the "wrong" choice despite consequences. This framework allows friends and family members to recast their withdrawal not as abandonment of someone who is suffering, but as a reasonable response to someone who refuses to help themselves. The language people use reveals this mindset, "I've done everything I can, but they just won't change" or "They need to hit rock bottom before they'll get help." Research by Corrigan et al. (2009) on mental health stigma demonstrates that when conditions are perceived as controllable, public attitudes harden significantly.[5] Their work shows that unlike diseases viewed as purely biological, conditions attributed to personal choice trigger anger rather than sympathy, and blame rather than offers of help. This stigma operates even among healthcare professionals, with studies showing that medical staff often provide lower quality care to patients with substance use disorders compared to those with other chronic conditions.[11] The trauma of loving an addict Beyond societal stigma lies the raw, personal trauma experienced by those close to addicts. Living with or loving someone with active addiction often means enduring cycles of hope and disappointment, truth and deception, promises and betrayals. Each cycle inflicts fresh wounds, and over time, many people find themselves suffering from symptoms that mirror post-traumatic stress disorder. Family members and close friends of addicts frequently experience what researchers call "secondary traumatic stress" or "compassion fatigue".[4] They remain hypervigilant, constantly scanning for signs of intoxication, relapse, or danger. They experience intrusive thoughts about worst-case scenarios, imagining their loved one overdosing, being arrested, or dying. Sleep becomes difficult. Anxiety becomes chronic. The emotional toll is measurable and significant. Financial betrayal compounds this trauma. Stories of stolen jewellery, emptied bank accounts, forged checks, and maxed-out credit cards are common in addiction narratives. When trust is violated at this fundamental level, when someone steals from their own mother or raids their child's college fund, the relationship sustains damage that can be irreparable. The betrayal isn't just about money, it's about the revelation that the addiction has become more important than the relationship itself. Moreover, many people close to addicts find themselves drawn into enabling behaviours that conflict with their own values and judgment. They lie to employers to cover absences, pay rent to prevent homelessness, or bail their loved one out of jail repeatedly. Each enabling action creates cognitive dissonance, a disconnect between what they believe they should do and what they're actually doing. Over time, this dissonance becomes unbearable, and distancing becomes a way to escape the impossible situation.[9] The unpredictability and chaos Addiction thrives on chaos, and chaos is exhausting. One of the most draining aspects of loving an addict is the fundamental unpredictability. Plans are cancelled. Crises erupt without warning. Behaviour swings from apologetic to aggressive. This unpredictability makes it nearly impossible to maintain normal life rhythms. For family members, especially those with children or demanding careers, this chaos becomes unsustainable. A parent cannot simultaneously manage their own children's needs and continually respond to an addicted adult child's emergencies. A spouse cannot maintain employment while managing constant crises at home. At some point, the arithmetic of life demands a choice, and many people choose stability for themselves and their dependents over continued engagement with the addicted person. Research on caregiver burden in other chronic conditions provides insight here. Studies of family members caring for loved ones with dementia, schizophrenia, or severe physical illness show that unpredictability and behavioural symptoms predict caregiver burnout more strongly than the severity of the condition itself.[10] The same principle applies to addiction, it's not just the severity of the substance use, but the chaos it generates that drives people away. The illusion of control and the fantasy of "Tough love" Many people distance themselves from addicts while believing they're employing "tough love", a concept suggesting that withdrawal of support will motivate change. This idea has deep roots in American culture and in certain addiction treatment philosophies, particularly those emphasizing the need for addicts to "hit rock bottom" before recovery becomes possible. The tough love framework provides psychological comfort to those stepping back. It reframes abandonment as intervention, withdrawal as strategy. "I'm not giving up on them," the thinking goes, "I'm giving them the space to face consequences and choose recovery." This narrative allows people to maintain a positive self-image as caring individuals while simultaneously protecting themselves from further pain. However, research on addiction treatment increasingly challenges the rock bottom myth. Studies show that people can and do recover at various stages of addiction severity, and that earlier intervention generally predicts better outcomes.[13] The notion that addicts must lose everything before they can recover lacks empirical support and may actually increase mortality risk by delaying treatment. Moreover, the tough love approach often reflects a desire for control in an uncontrollable situation. People cannot force someone else into sustained recovery, but they can control their own behaviour, including the decision to step back. This creates an illusion of agency in a situation characterized by powerlessness, which provides psychological relief even if it doesn't actually help the addicted person. Grief for the person who was Another powerful factor in turning away from addicts involves grief. Family members and friends often describe feeling that the person they loved has "disappeared" or been "replaced" by the addiction. They mourn the loss of personality traits, shared interests, inside jokes, and the essential qualities that made their relationship meaningful. This phenomenon resembles "ambiguous loss," a term coined by psychologist Pauline Boss (1999) to describe situations where a loved one is physically present but psychologically absent, or vice versa.[3] With addiction, the person is often still alive and occasionally present, but fundamentally changed. This type of loss is particularly difficult to process because it lacks the closure and social recognition that comes with death. The grief can be profound. Parents mourn the child who was curious and affectionate. Siblings mourn the brother or sister who was their closest ally. Spouses mourn the partner with whom they built dreams. Over time, this grief can calcify into a protective detachment. People create emotional distance to stop the continuous reopening of the wound each time they see what their loved one has become. Doka (2002) discusses "disenfranchised grief", grief that isn't socially recognized or validated.[6] Grieving someone who is still alive but changed by addiction often falls into this category, leaving people feeling isolated in their loss and less likely to seek support. This isolation can accelerate the process of turning away, as people lack the community scaffolding that might help them maintain connection despite the pain. Self-preservation and boundary setting At its core, the decision to distance from an addict often represents self-preservation. Mental health professionals working with families of addicts frequently emphasize the importance of boundaries, recognizing what you can and cannot control, protecting your own wellbeing, and detaching with love when necessary.[2] These boundaries aren't inherently about abandonment, they're about survival. When someone's mental health deteriorates from the stress of the relationship, when their own substance use increases as a coping mechanism, when their physical safety is threatened, or when their other relationships suffer, stepping back becomes necessary for health. Research on co-dependency and family dynamics in addiction shows that enmeshment with an addicted person can be genuinely dangerous to one's wellbeing. Studies document elevated rates of depression, anxiety, and stress-related physical illness among family members of people with substance use disorders.[8] The decision to create distance, while painful, can represent appropriate self-care rather than callousness. However, the line between healthy boundaries and harmful abandonment isn't always clear. One person's necessary self-protection might be experienced by the addict as rejection at their most vulnerable moment. This ambiguity creates moral complexity that haunts many people who step back, leaving them with guilt that persists even when their decision was justified. The role of exhaustion and burnout Perhaps the simplest explanation for why people turn their backs on addicts is sheer exhaustion. Addiction is a chronic, relapsing condition. Watching someone cycle through treatment, relapse, recovery, and relapse again, sometimes over decades, depletes emotional reserves. Each relapse after a period of sobriety brings crushing disappointment. Each broken promise erodes hope a little more. Each crisis demands resources, emotional, financial, temporal, that people have in finite supply. Eventually, for many, there's simply nothing left to give. Research on compassion fatigue among professional caregivers shows that even trained, compensated professionals experience burnout when repeatedly exposed to others' suffering without adequate recovery time.[7] For family members and friends who lack professional training, support systems, or time off from the relationship, burnout arrives even faster. This exhaustion isn't weakness, it's biology. The human stress response system wasn't designed for chronic, unrelenting activation. When someone spends years in a state of heightened anxiety about a loved one's wellbeing, their capacity for empathy and engagement genuinely diminishes. The turning away that results isn't always a choice as much as a collapse, the organism protecting itself from further damage. Conclusion Understanding why people turn their backs on addicts requires holding space for multiple truths simultaneously. Addiction is a disease that deserves compassion, and yet loving someone with addiction can be traumatic and unsustainable. Society's moral stigma toward addiction is unjust and unscientific, and yet individual people's need to protect themselves from chaos and harm is valid. Recovery is always possible and worth supporting, and yet not everyone has the resources to stand by someone through repeated relapses. The people who distance themselves from addicts are not uniformly callous or lacking in love. Many are themselves traumatized, exhausted, and grieving. They've often spent years trying to help, sacrificing their own wellbeing in the process, before finally stepping back. Their withdrawal frequently represents the culmination of a long process of erosion rather than a single moment of abandonment. What remains crucial is to recognize that both the person with addiction and those around them are suffering, and both deserve compassion. Creating systems that provide better support for families, reducing stigma that makes it harder to seek help, and developing more effective treatments might reduce the impossible choices people currently face between their own wellbeing and their love for someone in the grip of addiction. Follow me on  Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website  for more info! Read more from Sam Mishra Sam Mishra, The Medical Massage Lady Sam Mishra (The Medical Massage Lady), is a multi-award winning massage therapist, aromatherapist, accredited course tutor, oncology and lymphatic practitioner, trauma practitioner, breathwork facilitator, reiki and intuitive energy healer, transformational and spiritual coach and hypnotherapist. Her medical background as a nurse and a midwife, combined with her own experiences of childhood disability and abuse, have resulted in a diverse and specialised service, but she is mostly known for her trauma work. She is motivated by the adversity she has faced, using it as a driving force in her charity work and in offering the vulnerable a means of support. Her aim is to educate about medical conditions using easily understood language, to avoid inappropriate treatments being carried out, and for health promotion purposes in the general public. She is also becoming known for challenging the stigmas in our society and pushing through the boundaries that have been set by such stigmas within the massage industry. References: [1] Barry, C. L., McGinty, E. E., Pescosolido, B. A., & Goldman, H. H. (2014). Stigma, discrimination, treatment effectiveness, and policy: Public views about drug addiction and mental illness. Psychiatric Services, 65(10), 1269-1272. [2] Beattie, M. (1986). Codependent no more: How to stop controlling others and start caring for yourself. Hazelden. [3] Boss, P. (1999). Ambiguous loss: Learning to live with unresolved grief. Harvard University Press. [4] Bride, B. E. (2007). Prevalence of secondary traumatic stress among social workers. Social Work, 52(1), 63-70. [5] Corrigan, P. W., Markowitz, F. E., Watson, A., Rowan, D., & Kubiak, M. A. (2009). An attribution model of public discrimination towards persons with mental illness. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 44(2), 162-179. [6] Doka, K. J. (2002). Disenfranchised grief: New directions, challenges, and strategies for practice. Research Press. [7] Figley, C. R. (1995). Compassion fatigue as secondary traumatic stress disorder: An overview. In C. R. Figley (Ed.), Compassion fatigue: Coping with secondary traumatic stress disorder in those who treat the traumatized (pp. 1-20). Brunner/Mazel. [8] Orford, J., Velleman, R., Natera, G., Templeton, L., & Copello, A. (2013). Addiction in the family is a major but neglected contributor to the global burden of adult ill-health. Social Science & Medicine, 78, 70-77. [9] Rotunda, R. J., Doman, K., & Tugrul, K. C. (2004). Enabling behavior in a clinical sample of alcohol-dependent clients and their partners. Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment, 26(4), 269-276. [10] Schulz, R., & Sherwood, P. R. (2008). Physical and mental health effects of family caregiving. The American Journal of Nursing, 108(9), 23-27. [11] van Boekel, L. C., Brouwers, E. P., van Weeghel, J., & Garretsen, H. F. (2013). Stigma among health professionals towards patients with substance use disorders and its consequences for healthcare delivery: Systematic review. Drug and Alcohol Dependence, 131(1-2), 23-35. [12] Volkow, N. D., Koob, G. F., & McLellan, A. T. (2016). Neurobiologic advances from the brain disease model of addiction. New England Journal of Medicine, 374(4), 363-371. [13] White, W. L., & Kelly, J. F. (2011). Recovery management: What if we really believed that addiction was a chronic disorder? In J. F. Kelly & W. L. White (Eds.), Addiction recovery management: Theory, research and practice (pp. 67-84). Humana Press.

Written by Dr. Hanna Lind, Breathwork Therapist Dr Hanna Lind is a trauma-informed practitioner and Neurodynamic Breathwork® facilitator supporting nervous system regulation, emotional healing, and embodiment. Her work bridges science, somatics, and consciousness. For many therapy-savvy people, insight is not the problem. They can name patterns, track emotional triggers, and explain with precision why they feel anxious, overwhelmed , or stuck. They understand their childhood, their attachment style, and their coping strategies. They have language for their inner world. And yet, their bodies remain tense, reactive, fatigued, or chronically stressed. Despite years of personal work, something still doesn’t shift This experience is especially common among high-functioning, self-aware individuals who have invested deeply in psychological growth. Talk therapy excels at helping us understand why we feel the way we do. It brings coherence to our stories and compassion to our histories. But understanding alone doesn’t always translate into calm, regulation, or embodied safety. The nervous system does not automatically relax simply because the mind has made sense of the narrative. Talk therapy has been deeply valuable in my own life. It gave me awareness, insight, and emotional vocabulary. Yet I began to notice a disconnect. When anxiety surfaced, my body didn’t respond to insight alone. Even when I knew I was safe, my breath would constrict, my chest would tighten, and my system would brace as if a threat were still present. Knowing why I felt overwhelmed did not automatically create ease or regulation in my body. This gap between insight and embodiment is where many people quietly struggle Both Gabor Maté and Bessel van der Kolk offer powerful frameworks for understanding why this happens. In When the Body Says No, Maté explores how chronic stress, emotional suppression, and the persistent overriding of one’s own needs can accumulate in the body over time. When emotions are repeatedly ignored, often in the service of adaptation, caregiving, or belonging, the body carries the cost. Symptoms and illness become the body’s final communication when earlier signals were not met. Van der Kolk, in The Body Keeps the Score, deepens this understanding by showing how traumatic and overwhelming experiences are stored not primarily as conscious memories, but as physiological patterns. Long after an event has passed, the body may continue to respond as though it is still happening. Muscles tighten, breath shortens, digestion falters, and the nervous system remains vigilant. This is not a failure of insight, it is the intelligence of a body designed to survive. From this perspective, it becomes clear why talk therapy alone sometimes reaches its limits. Stress, trauma, and emotional suppression live in the nervous system, the breath, and the tissues, not just in thoughts. We cannot think our way out of patterns that are held physiologically. This is where somatic approaches become essential complements to traditional therapy Somatic work invites the body into the healing process rather than asking the mind to do all the work. By working directly with sensation, breath, movement, and nervous system regulation, we begin to address the level at which stress is actually stored. Healing shifts from understanding what happened to allowing the body to experience safety in the present moment. As a Neurodynamic Breathwork facilitator, I work with breath as a bridge between the conscious and unconscious, the cognitive and the physiological. Breath is one of the few systems that we can influence both voluntarily and involuntarily. When guided intentionally, it can help release long-held tension, support emotional processing, and increase nervous system flexibility. Insight is no longer something we know, it becomes something we feel. This approach aligns closely with what both Maté and van der Kolk emphasize: healing happens when the body is included. When emotions are allowed to move rather than remain stored, the body no longer needs to speak through symptoms. Regulation replaces suppression. Presence replaces bracing. Importantly, this is not about replacing talk therapy. Insight, meaning-making, and relational understanding remain foundational. Rather, it is about expanding the therapeutic field. When the body is included, anxiety becomes more workable, overwhelm less consuming, and change more sustainable. Healing becomes embodied rather than purely conceptual. For those who feel they have “done everything right” in therapy yet still feel dysregulated, exhausted, or disconnected, this is not a failure. It is often an invitation. The next layer of healing may not require more analysis, but more attunement to the body’s language. When the body is finally allowed to participate, healing becomes less about fixing and more about restoring balance. The nervous system learns, gradually and safely, that it no longer needs to hold the past in the present. And from that place, genuine ease and vitality can emerge. If you are curious about integrating somatic therapy and breathwork alongside talk therapy, you are invited to explore Neurodynamic Breathwork. Learn more here and explore current offerings designed to support embodied, sustainable change. Follow me on Facebook and Instagram for more info! Read more from Dr. Hanna Lind Dr. Hanna Lind, Breathwork Therapist Dr Hanna Lind is a Neurodynamic Breathwork® facilitator and trauma-informed practitioner working at the intersection of nervous system regulation, emotional release, and conscious leadership. Breathwork supports leaders to lead with presence, integrity, and clarity.

Written by Nadine Bell, Equine Assisted Professional Coach Nadine Bell is an equine-assisted professional coach and a pioneer in Argentina and across Latin America, fostering emotional growth and human potential through her two signature programs: Nadine Bell Coaching with Horses, designed for corporate environments, and Horses for Humanity, dedicated to supporting vulnerable populations. Equine-assisted coaching has emerged as a powerful, experiential approach to emotional healing, resilience, and personal growth for vulnerable populations worldwide. By working alongside horses in a non-judgmental, body-based environment, individuals are offered a unique opportunity to develop self-awareness, rebuild confidence, and regulate emotional responses. This approach reaches people in ways traditional interventions often cannot, creating meaningful and lasting transformation across diverse communities and cultural contexts. What are vulnerable sectors of society? Vulnerable sectors include populations at higher risk of social, economic, and emotional exclusion, such as refugees, immigrants, and individuals living in poverty. Social vulnerability is shaped by unstable living conditions, limited access to resources, and prolonged exposure to stress and adversity. These factors influence not only financial security but also emotional well-being, mental health, and self-perception, laying the groundwork for the emotional challenges explored below. Research and field experience consistently show that individuals living in vulnerable conditions are more likely to experience diminished self-worth, marginalization, chronic stress, anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress symptoms. Without adequate emotional support systems, these challenges can perpetuate cycles of exclusion and disempowerment.   The emotional impact of vulnerability Living under prolonged stress alters how individuals experience themselves and engage with the world around them. Many develop negative self-perceptions, low self-esteem, and a persistent sense of hopelessness. Social stigma and marginalization often deepen feelings of isolation and shame, while chronic uncertainty can lead to anxiety, depression, or trauma-related responses. In some cases, individuals turn to substance abuse as a coping mechanism, and in extreme situations, vulnerability may increase the risk of suicidal ideation. Addressing emotional health is therefore not a secondary need but a fundamental pillar for long-term personal and social transformation.   Why traditional interventions are not always enough While talk-based therapies and social programs play an important role, they may not always reach individuals who struggle with verbal expression, trust, or emotional awareness. Trauma, cultural barriers, and deeply ingrained survival patterns can limit the effectiveness of purely cognitive or verbal approaches. This is where experiential and body-based methodologies offer a meaningful alternative to insight-based approaches by engaging the body in the change process.   How equine-assisted coaching creates real transformation Equine-assisted coaching offers a non-traditional, experiential approach to emotional and personal development. Horses are highly sensitive, intuitive animals that naturally respond to human emotional states. They do not judge, analyze, or label. Instead, they mirror what is present, offering immediate and honest feedback through their behavior. This unique interaction allows participants to become aware of their emotional patterns, internal states, and behavioral responses in a safe and grounded environment.   Key benefits of equine-assisted coaching One of the most significant outcomes of working with horses is emotional awareness. Participants begin to recognize their own emotional states through the horse’s responses, often accessing insights that are difficult to reach through words alone. Because horses rely primarily on body language, participants naturally develop non-verbal communication skills and learn to read subtle cues. This strengthens emotional intelligence and empathy, skills that translate directly into healthier relationships and improved social integration. Equine-assisted coaching also supports individuals in identifying and releasing limiting beliefs by creating a non-judgmental space where fears, insecurities, and self-imposed barriers can emerge without fear or judgment. As participants experience successful interaction with the horse, confidence and self-trust naturally increase. Spending time with horses in natural environments has been shown to reduce stress and promote emotional regulation. Many participants report feeling calmer, more grounded, and more present after sessions. Over time, these experiences foster resilience, leadership skills, assertiveness, and a renewed sense of personal agency.   How the sessions work Sessions take place in a corral or open field alongside a group of calm, trained horses. No riding is involved, and no prior experience with horses is required. Under the guidance of a trained coach, participants observe and interact with the horses, reflecting on their responses, movements, and behaviors. Through carefully designed experiential exercises, participants gain insights into their emotional patterns, communication styles, and internal beliefs. The process encourages self-awareness, emotional responsibility, and conscious choice-making. These programs are adaptable and can be implemented globally wherever equine facilities are available, making them accessible to diverse communities and cultural contexts.   A program designed for impact and inclusion Horses for Humanity was founded to support vulnerable populations by addressing emotional health at its root through meaningful, experiential learning. Equine-assisted coaching is a stand-alone intervention that provides a powerful pathway to self-connection and growth. While it does not replace traditional mental health treatment in severe clinical cases, it serves as a highly effective complementary approach for emotional development and resilience-building.   My journey with equine-assisted coaching My connection with horses began in childhood, inspired by my grandfather, Alec Bell, a renowned polo player and breeder in Argentina. From an early age, I was immersed in horse care and handling, which eventually led me into therapeutic riding and equine-assisted interventions. In 2000, I founded Argentina’s first Equine Therapy Center, followed by the creation of a Mobile Equine Therapy initiative that brought therapeutic programs to underserved communities. Over the years, I have collaborated with NGOs, supported individuals with disabilities, worked in addiction recovery, coached elite athletes and CEOs, and facilitated programs across Latin America and the Caribbean. Becoming an EAGALA Certified Coach deepened my understanding of the profound emotional intelligence of horses and their ability to catalyze transformation. Today, my work continues internationally, guided by a deep commitment to serving vulnerable communities and fostering emotional empowerment through horses.   Transforming lives through connection and awareness Equine-assisted coaching offers more than personal insight by engaging individuals in an embodied, relational process that fosters dignity, self-awareness, and emotional restoration. For those living in vulnerable circumstances, being seen, felt, and responded to without judgment can be life-changing. When emotional well-being is supported, individuals are better equipped to rebuild confidence, make empowered choices, and move toward sustainable change.   Ready to learn more? If you are interested in equine-assisted coaching for vulnerable communities, organizations, or individuals, I welcome the opportunity to explore how this approach can support your specific needs. To learn more, visit here  or reach out to explore how this work can support meaningful, human-centered transformation. Follow me on Instagram and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Nadine Bell Nadine Bell, Equine Assisted Professional Coach Nadine Bell is the CEO of Nadine Bell Coaching with Horses and Horses for Humanity, and a pioneer in Argentina and Latin America as an equine-assisted professional coach applying experiential methods to leadership development and organizational performance. With certifications under NARHA, NAAEPAD, and EAGALA and early horsemanship training influenced by her grandfather, polo player Alec Bell, she combines equine interaction with emotional intelligence and communication effectiveness. She delivers leadership, team cohesion, and wellbeing programs for corporate groups across Argentina, Colombia, Puerto Rico, and the Dominican Republic, while Horses for Humanity extends her impact through socially inclusive emotional-wellbeing initiatives.

Written by Sarah Dessert, Founder, French Instructor, Coach Sarah Dessert, a native French educator and founder of Sweet French Learning, helps English-speaking adults master French with confidence and joy. With 14+ years of experience in France and Canada, she combines immersive teaching with confidence-building strategies to support authentic, fearless communication. Perfectionism is often praised in professional and learning environments. It is associated with discipline, motivation, and high standards. Yet in many adults, perfectionism is not a strength. It is a stress response to wearing a professional mask. I have seen this pattern repeatedly in learning contexts, workplaces, and coaching conversations. People work harder, prepare more, and demand more of themselves, yet feel increasingly anxious, exhausted, or stuck. Progress slows. Confidence shrinks. Learning becomes tense. This pattern is not a lack of ability or commitment. It is something deeper. I call it the “Good Student Syndrome” (GSS). What good student syndrome really is GSS is not a mindset problem, a lack of motivation, or a character flaw. It is a conditioned identity and survival strategy that develops when a person learns, usually early in life, that being competent, compliant, or “doing things right” is the safest way to receive approval, love, or belonging. At its core, the unspoken belief sounds like this, “If I perform well, if I don’t make mistakes, if I meet expectations, then I am safe, worthy, and accepted.” This belief does not usually form because someone was told it directly. It emerges through repeated experiences, family dynamics, school systems, and cultural expectations, where praise, attention, or emotional safety were tied to performance rather than presence. In that context, becoming “the good student” is not a choice. It is an intelligent adaptation. Over time, this strategy becomes internalized. External expectations turn into an internal pressure system. The person no longer needs authority figures to demand excellence. The demand now lives inside. Common internal rules begin to form, such as: “I shouldn’t rest unless I’ve earned it.” “Mistakes mean I didn’t try hard enough.” “If I slow down, I’ll fall behind.” “What others think matters more than what I feel.” In adulthood, GSS often shows up not as a visible struggle, but as high-functioning tension. People may appear disciplined, reliable, and capable, while privately feeling anxious, exhausted, or never quite “enough.” They may overthink, people please, or hold themselves to standards they would never impose on others. What once served as a way to stay safe quietly becomes a system that limits flexibility, confidence, and self-trust. How it shows up in learning In learning environments, GSS often looks like rigidity rather than curiosity. People may overprepare, avoid speaking until they feel “ready,” or struggle to experiment. Mistakes are experienced not as information, but as evidence of failure. Learning becomes something to perform rather than something to explore. Very common thoughts and beliefs are: “I’ll speak once I’m more confident.” “I need to review everything first before I try.” “I’m not ready yet, I’ll start when I feel more prepared.” “If I can’t say it correctly, I’d rather not say it at all.” “I don’t want to practice until I know I won’t make mistakes.” “Making mistakes means I’m bad at this.” “If I get this wrong, it proves I’m not cut out for languages.” “Others will think I’m incompetent if I make errors.” “Everyone else seems to get it, why don’t I?” “If I can’t do it properly, there’s no point doing it.” Ironically, this blocks progress. Learning requires approximation, feedback, and adjustment. When perfection is the goal, confidence cannot grow because confidence is built through repetition, not flawlessness. How it shows up in feedback and authority dynamics Feedback is another area where this pattern becomes highly visible. A common response is the inability to take in positive feedback. Praise is dismissed or minimized, while all attention goes to what needs fixing. The nervous system focuses on correcting perceived shortcomings in order to restore safety and approval. Rather than seeing feedback as a full picture, it becomes a threat assessment. What do I need to fix to remain valued? What did I do wrong? How do I make sure this does not happen again? In relationships with authority figures, managers, teachers, and leaders, this can lead to people pleasing, difficulty setting boundaries, and an overinvestment in others’ expectations at the expense of one’s own needs. Why perfection undermines confidence Perfectionism is often mistaken for discipline, but the two are not the same. Discipline is grounded in choice and consistency. Perfectionism is rooted in fear, often the fear of losing approval or belonging. Because perfection is an impossible standard, an illusion, it creates a constant sense of insufficiency. Progress becomes invisible. Effort increases, but confidence decreases. Learning, however, is inherently imperfect. No one expects a child to walk without falling. Falling is not failure; it is part of the process. Adults affected by GSS are rarely offered this same permission. Over time, the cost is high: chronic stress, burnout, avoidance, and a loss of trust in oneself. The deeper cost: Loss of self Beyond performance, learning, or productivity, GSS carries a deeper and more damaging cost, a gradual disconnection from the self. Over time, many adults develop what can be described as a constructed self, an identity shaped around expectations, approval, and external demands rather than inner truth. What begins as adaptation slowly becomes adoption. The role replaces the person. In coaching, I have heard clients say things like: “I had to become someone else because that’s what they wanted from me.” “It was the only way to please them.” “I didn’t feel like I had a choice.” These statements are not about laziness or indecision. They reflect a life built around what was expected rather than what was desired. Careers were chosen because they were “safe.” Paths followed because they pleased parents, teachers, or authority figures. Lives that look functional on the outside, yet feel misaligned on the inside. A common misunderstanding in this pattern is the confusion between people caring and people pleasing. Many individuals affected by GSS describe themselves as generous, selfless, or deeply considerate of others. But this is not about empathy. It is about over-adaptation, consistently prioritizing others’ needs, opinions, and comfort while dismissing or silencing one’s own. This is not kindness. It is self-erasure. When approval becomes the compass, boundaries dissolve. Rest feels undeserved. Saying no feels dangerous. Personal needs are postponed indefinitely. Over time, this leads to a profound internal disorientation. Simple questions such as “What do I want? What matters to me? What direction feels right?” become difficult, or impossible, to answer. Life continues, but it is lived through expectations rather than intention. For many adults, this realization is unsettling. Seeing how deeply one has adapted can be painful. Yet naming it is essential. Because what is unnamed remains unquestioned. And what remains unquestioned continues to shape a life from the shadows. A brief personal note This pattern is not theoretical for me. In 2023, I had to consciously let go of an entire belief system shaped by GSS. Releasing it created an unexpected period of disorientation. If I were no longer trying to be perfect, who was I becoming instead? That question did not signal failure, but transition. It marked the point where performance stopped being my compass, and self-trust had to take its place. Recognizing the pattern is the first step GSS is not a personal flaw. It is a survival strategy that once made sense in a specific context. But what once kept someone safe does not have to define how they live, learn, or lead as adults. Becoming aware of the pattern is the first step. Awareness creates distance. In that space, choice becomes possible, and with it, the opportunity to build a relationship with oneself that is grounded not in performance, but in trust and self-acceptance. An essential part of overcoming GSS is relearning that we are just human, imperfect by nature, and that this is enough. This is a long-term process that can be challenging, but it is absolutely possible. Rediscovering oneself may create the path to a brand new life that was secretly desired, but never intentionally built. Where we started does not determine where we will end up. And that realization, quiet and steady, is often where meaningful change begins. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website  for more info! Read more from Sarah Dessert Sarah Dessert, Founder, French Instructor, Coach Sarah Dessert is a native French educator, coach, and founder of Sweet French Learning, where she helps English-speaking adults learn French with confidence and ease. Originally from France and now based in Canada, she brings over 14 years of teaching experience. After watching many adults struggle or quit because of fear and past school experiences, she created a different approach. Her teaching blends immersion, personalized guidance, and confidence-building support. Sarah’s mission is to help learners communicate authentically and rediscover the joy of learning French.

Written by Bronwen Sciortino, International Author & Simplicity Expert Bronwen Sciortino is an International Author and Simplicity Expert who spent almost two decades as an award-winning executive before experiencing a life-changing event that forced her to stop and ask the question, ‘What if there’s a better way to live? The first few nights of a holiday rarely feel restful. You toss and turn, half-awake, your mind replaying what might be falling apart while you’re gone. Did you hand that project over properly? Will the team cope? Will the emails pile up faster than you can delete them when you’re back? It takes days, sometimes more, before your shoulders finally drop, before your body starts to believe it’s allowed to exhale. Only then do you remember what real sleep feels like, the kind that doesn’t come from exhaustion but from ease. No alarm. No responsibilities. No one needs something from you every five minutes. And for a fleeting moment, you think: This is how life should feel. But then you go home. And just like that, the version of you who breathes deeply and laughs easily disappears, replaced by the one who survives on caffeine, deadlines, and good intentions. The trap of ‘‘when I have time’’ We tell ourselves the same story every year: “I’ll start looking after myself when things calm down.” “When I’m on leave.” “When life gives me a break.” But life rarely does. And even when it does, even when we get that week in the sun, we still carry the tension with us. The guilt of switching off. The anxiety of what might be waiting when we switch back on. The truth is, we don’t have a time problem. We have a permission problem. We’ve built lives so full that slowing down feels rebellious. We treat well-being like a luxury item, something to be unwrapped on special occasions instead of lived every day. Holiday mode isn’t magic, it’s memory Here’s what most people miss: ‘‘Holiday mode’’ isn’t something that exists out there on a beach or in a mountain cabin. It’s what happens when you stop rushing long enough to meet yourself again.   When your nervous system finally stops scanning for threats, when your mind stops rehearsing the next move, and when you remember what it feels like to be fully here, not half a step ahead of your own life. That clarity, that calm, that steadiness, it’s not created by a destination. It’s revealed by stillness. And yet, we come home and abandon it like it only belongs to the version of us who wear linen and read novels. The cycle that keeps you tired If you only allow yourself to rest when the world stops demanding from you, your body learns one thing: rest is unsafe unless everything else is handled. That’s why the first few nights of a break feel so uneasy. Your system doesn’t trust that stillness won’t cost you something. So, you push, crash, recover, repeat. You come back from holidays vowing to “keep the balance this time.” But the emails creep in, the meetings multiply, and suddenly “next break” becomes the new finish line. It’s not laziness. It’s conditioning. You’ve been trained to equate your worth with your output, and as long as that belief runs the show, no amount of leave will heal the exhaustion. What actually works Start by shrinking the gap between ‘‘holiday you’’ and ‘‘everyday you.’’ Bring one thing back, not as a task, but as a truth. For example: If you love how slow mornings feel, start your day five minutes earlier and don’t touch your phone. If you eat mindfully on holidays, close your laptop when you eat at your desk. If you walk every day when you’re away, take a 10-minute lap around the block between calls. Micro-moments matter because they retrain your body to trust that care isn’t conditional, and you start to live in a way that doesn’t need rescuing. The real goal You don’t need a holiday to feel human again, you need a rhythm that honours your humanity daily. Because the truth is, the version of you who laughs freely, sleeps deeply, and feels light they aren’t only available on vacation. They’re waiting under the layers of ‘shoulds’ and schedules.   And when you stop postponing your health until the world gives you permission, something powerful happens: your life starts to feel like the break you’ve been craving. If you only feel healthy on holiday, it’s not time you’re missing, it’s permission, and permission is something you can give yourself right now.   Bronwen Sciortino is a Simplicity Expert, Professional Speaker, and internationally renowned author. You can follow her on her  website,   Facebook ,   Instagram ,  or  LinkedIn . Read more from Bronwen Sciortino Bronwen Sciortino, International Author & Simplicity Expert Bronwen Sciortino is an International Author and Simplicity Expert who spent almost two decades as an award-winning executive before experiencing a life-changing event that forced her to stop and ask the question, ‘What if there’s a better way to live?’ Embarking on a journey to answer this question, Bronwen developed a whole new way of living, one that teaches you to challenge the status quo and include the power of questions in everyday life. Gaining international critical acclaim and 5-star awards for her books and online programs, Bronwen spends every day teaching people that there is an easy, practical, and simple pathway to creating a healthy, happy, and highly successful life. Sourced globally for media comment as an expert and working with corporate programs, conference platforms, retreats, professional mentoring, and in the online environment, Bronwen teaches people how easy it is to live life very differently.

Written by Veronica Hislop, Founder of Em-Powered Pens As the founder of Em-Powered Pens, author Veronica Hislop aims to empower her readers to heal, grow, and thrive. A trained professional, she is committed to guiding her audience through a transformative journey of resilience and self-discovery, unlocking their full potential. “Can I stop you there?” the instructor asked. “I sense a heaviness around your heart. If you feel comfortable, I’d like to do some brief energy work with you right now, over the phone. Is that okay?” I was surprised. Curious. And quietly skeptical. Still, I agreed. What followed was a short process involving breath, imagery, colour, and focused attention. I couldn’t have explained exactly what she was doing, but I knew what I felt afterward. Something had shifted. I felt lighter than I had in a very long time. What struck me most was not just the physical sensation, but the question it raised. How had she known? She couldn’t see me. We had spoken only briefly. I was thousands of miles away, in another country. And yet she had accurately sensed a level of stress and emotional strain I had barely acknowledged within myself. That moment challenged the limits of how I had been trained to understand stress, pain, and healing. With years of postgraduate education as a trauma counsellor behind me, I realized something essential was missing from the purely logical, left-brain framework I had relied on. There was, quite clearly, a different way of knowing and a different way of understanding trauma and mental health that I had yet to learn. This experience occurred several years ago during an online training program led by an energy healer and business coach. Like many virtual sessions, it was structured, intellectually engaging, and grounded in professional development. Yet this moment became a quiet wake-up call, one that shifted how I understood stress, trauma, and the role of replenishment in healing. Push energy and the limits of effort Much of Western culture, including how we approach mental health, is built on what I now recognise as push energy. Push to understand. Push to explain. Push to fix. Push through discomfort. Push energy is driven by the conscious, analytical mind. It values effort, insight, and control. In many contexts, it serves us well. But when applied to trauma and chronic stress, it often reaches its limits. You cannot push your way out of a dysregulated nervous system. You cannot force the body to feel safe. And you cannot always think your way into healing. Trauma is not held solely as a narrative or memory. It is stored in the body, the nervous system, and the emotional brain. When healing relies only on effort and explanation, people often become exhausted, frustrated, resistant, or stuck, working harder without feeling better. When Western models don’t fully translate I am often reminded of the trauma teams sent to Rwanda after the 1994 genocide. Highly trained Western professionals arrived with well-established therapeutic models and a genuine desire to help survivors process unimaginable grief, trauma, and loss. Yet many of the survivors could not connect with the trauma teams and their approach. Talk therapy, based on verbal catharsis and repeated retelling of traumatic events, did not resonate with many of the Rwandans. For people whose trauma was deeply embodied, this approach intensified distress rather than relieving it. The issue was not a lack of compassion or skill. It was a mismatch of approaches. Trauma is not experienced only through words. For individuals and cultures that are more right-brain oriented, healing often begins with safety, rhythm, connection, and regulation, not explanation. Only in recent years has Western mental health begun to seriously integrate this understanding. Replenishment and the role of the right brain Where push energy seeks to override, replenishment seeks to restore. Replenishment focuses on calming the nervous system first. It creates the conditions for healing rather than demanding outcomes. This is the domain of the right brain. Right brain practices include movement, meditation, breathwork, energy work, journaling, dancing, chanting, drumming, acupuncture, Reiki, EMDR, and tapping. What these approaches share is their ability to bypass the conscious mind, bypass overthinking, and engage the body directly. They slow the system down. They reduce stress activation. They restore a sense of safety. They can help bypass resistance. Rather than demanding insight, replenishment-based practices prioritize regulation. And when the body feels safe again, clarity often follows naturally. Western mental health has slowly begun to fully acknowledge this approach as therapeutic. Somatic therapies, body-based interventions, and nonverbal modalities are now being researched, integrated, and taught. But this shift in thinking and practice is still relatively new. Tapping as a replenishment practice Among the many right-brain approaches I have explored, one stands out for its simplicity and accessibility, Emotional Freedom Technique, commonly known as tapping. EFT is based on principles from traditional Chinese medicine and can be understood as acupuncture without needles. Gentle tapping is applied to specific meridian points on the face and upper body while focusing on an emotional or physical issue. Rather than pushing to “get over” a problem, tapping works by calming the brain’s stress response while acknowledging what is present. It sends a signal of safety to the nervous system, allowing the body to release what it has been holding. Research has shown EFT to be effective in addressing anxiety, trauma, stress, phobias, addiction, and physical pain. It was first practiced with good results with Vietnam vets coping with PTSD back in the sixties. Today, we are using EFT with refugees from war-torn countries such as Gaza, Sudan, and Ukraine. It is perhaps the only weapon these people have to fight back against the atrocities they are experiencing daily. It is non-invasive, painless, and easy to learn. Most importantly, it returns agency to the individual. Rather than relying solely on external interventions, people are given a tool they can use themselves any time as necessary. This alone can be deeply empowering. In my own work, when clients become caught in a stressful narrative, I often invite them to tap while they speak. Before we analyze or explain, their bodies begin to settle. Replenishment comes first. Insight follows. Expanding how we understand healing This is not a rejection of Western psychology, science, or reason. Push energy has its place. Insight matters. Understanding matters. Motivation and goal setting are important. But healing is not achieved through effort alone. When we integrate replenishment-based, right-brain approaches into our understanding of mental health and wellbeing, we move toward a more complete, holistic model of healing, one that honours the body, the nervous system, and respects their connection and the intelligence beneath conscious thought. There is a different way of knowing and understanding trauma. There is a different pathway to healing. And for many of us, connecting more to our right brain by learning to shift from push to replenish energy is where the real change begins. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Veronica Hislop Veronica Hislop, Founder of Em-Powered Pens Veronica is a multi-genre author focused on empowering readers to navigate life’s challenges with grace and strength. Whether guiding adults through difficult conversations, supporting men in grief, or nurturing the self-worth of young girls, her work is grounded in emotional intelligence, psychological insight, and real-world application.

Written by Rich Nollen, BSN, RN, Healthcare Marketing and Strategic Growth Rich Nollen is one of the most respected healthcare business development professionals in the US and a global thinker, known for creating strategies that drive growth. As founder and CEO of Innovare HP, he specializes in demand capture and pipeline acceleration, helping healthcare brands forge meaningful connections and create lasting impact. I didn’t expect Hessel Bay to teach me anything. I thought it would just be another stop, a pretty slice of Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, some good food, a walk, a view. But this trip was already unusual for me. I broke a birthday tradition I had kept for years, celebrating overseas. Paris one year, Manila another, sometimes someplace in between. This year, I stayed close to home. And in doing so, I found something I didn’t know I was looking for. A different kind of table My first stop was the Les Cheneaux Culinary School, a nonprofit teaching kitchen and restaurant set just a couple of blocks from the water in Hessel. The menu was seasonal and thoughtful, dishes crafted by students and chefs working side by side, each plate prepared with a kind of care that makes you slow down without trying. But what stayed with me was not only the food. It was the sense of place, knowing the bay was just beyond, sunlight still finding its way into the room, conversations carrying the same unhurried rhythm as the town itself. I remember sitting there, fork in hand, realizing I had not felt that kind of ease in a long time. It was not just a meal. It was permission to breathe. Walking into “Narnia” Outside of town, locals pointed me to a trail they call “Narnia.” The name sounded whimsical, almost too much, until I stepped beneath its canopy. The world really did change there. The air cooled. Light filtered in streaks. The silence thickened, but in a way that felt alive. Every step slowed me down, not because I wanted to, but because it felt wrong to rush. It struck me how rarely I give myself that kind of space, to walk and listen without filling the silence with a text, a call, or a to-do list already waiting back home. Roads that carry more than cars Later, driving the backroads that bend around the water, I noticed the cottages. Some looked as though they had been standing for generations, their paint faded but proud. I imagined the families who filled them, the fishermen returning at dusk, kids racing barefoot toward the water. These roads were not just routes to somewhere. They felt like memory itself, reminding me that life does not have to speed by in order to matter. The lesson I took home, the power of pause When I think of Hessel Bay now, I don’t recall the exact dishes I ordered or the precise path I hiked. I remember the pause. The way time seemed to loosen its grip, the way stillness stopped being something to resist. Hessel Bay gave me more than a getaway. It gave me a recalibration. For years, I had chased new stamps in my passport as a way of marking time, as if distance equaled meaning. But Hessel Bay showed me something different. You don’t always need another country to find a new perspective. Sometimes, the place that changes you is only a few hours from home. I left reminded that slowing down is not indulgence. It is survival. It is how we return to ourselves when the world tries to pull us too far away. And maybe that is the real gift of places like Hessel Bay. They do not just change your view, they change your pace. For me, that shift came on a birthday when I expected less by staying close to home, and ended up finding more than I ever had a world away. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Rich Nollen Rich Nollen, BSN, RN, Healthcare Marketing and Strategic Growth Rich Nollen is a nurse turned entrepreneur and the driving force behind Innovare HP, a healthcare marketing agency that's transforming how providers connect with communities. After transitioning from bedside to boardroom, Rich’s journey has been nothing short of wild, fueled by a passion to spark ideas, share stories, and empower others. With a growing presence across multiple states, including Indiana, Ohio, Michigan, and California, Innovare HP is committed to making healthcare more accessible and impactful. Rich’s message, if a nurse can dream big and invest in change, so can you.

Written by Tatiana Goded, Motivational Life Coach Tatiana Goded is passionate about helping women find their life purpose and rediscover their passions. She is the CEO of Puiaki Precious, a life coaching, NLP, and mindfulness business designed to leverage women find their true selves. Tatiana is also the author of “A Trip Towards the Sunset,” a journey of self-discovery published in 2025. Since we were little, most of us have been told how important it is to give to others, sometimes at the cost of giving to ourselves. From parents, teachers, and religious authority figures, giving has been the center of many lessons shared with children. And yes, giving is important. It is our way to express who we are, to share our lessons, our feelings, and our thoughts. There is nothing better, when we are going through a hard time, than receiving an act of care and love from someone else that can completely change a moment or even an entire life. However, most of us have not been told about the consequences of giving with an empty cup. If you have not experienced it before, there is no better time to discover this truth than in parenting. Whether you are a recent parent dealing with sleep deprivation and a constantly crying baby, or trying to get through the day with your toddler, parenting challenges us to keep giving at the cost of forgetting ourselves, including our need for rest and calm, love, and understanding. And if you have a neurodivergent child, this lesson becomes even more profound. Children with neurodiversity are incredibly sensitive. They pick up our moods instantly, often more than neurotypical children. If they sense you feel angry or even slightly annoyed, they may close down, and the situation can worsen. It is not their fault if you have an empty cup or if you have abandoned yourself in order to be a parent. It is our responsibility as parents and as adults to take care of ourselves. But it is hard. Sometimes it is even hard to find time for a simple cup of tea. I know that. I have been there. But if you do not do it, nobody will. And more importantly, everyone around you will suffer the consequences of your empty cup. The empty cup syndrome: What happens when we give from depletion Research on burnout provides sobering evidence of what happens when we continuously give from an empty cup. Burnout is characterized by complete depletion of energy, including physical exhaustion, emotional exhaustion, and mental exhaustion. It occurs when stress is prolonged and excessive and exceeds our capacity to manage our lives and stressors.[4] When we give from depletion, several things happen. Studies show that burnout leads to reduced productivity, suboptimal delivery of care, and poorer outcomes, whether you are caring for patients, clients, or your own children.[6] The World Health Organization has classified burnout as an occupational phenomenon related to prolonged exposure to chronic, unsuccessfully managed workplace stress. But burnout is not just about work. It extends to every area of life, including caregiving, parenting, relationships, and identity. When we run on empty, we experience: Physical and emotional exhaustion that does not improve with rest Resentment toward the people we are caring for, even though we love them Feelings of being taken for granted or unappreciated Decreased patience and increased irritability Loss of joy in activities we once loved A sense of running on autopilot, disconnected from ourselves I experienced this myself. For years, I was told that taking care of myself should be my first priority. I tried. I remember going for walks on my lunch breaks and feeling energized, with the rest of the day going much better. But I easily forgot about myself. When I was tired, too busy at work, or too stressed, I would forget self-care, precisely on the days when I should have taken longer breaks rather than eliminating them altogether. As a good friend once told me, normally, you can manage with a 15-minute meditation. When you are stressed, you need 45 minutes. But as a working parent, I forgot these important lessons over and over again. My turning point: When self-care became non-negotiable It was not until I had no choice but to revisit my life habits that everything changed. As a single mother working full-time, without much help or support, things became really intense. Only then did I realize that those wise words I had heard for years were actually the only way to get me through the days. Finding moments to fill my cup became part of my daily life. I started to take the task seriously, thinking about how to fit in time to exercise, to meditate, and to do something that brought me joy. And I noticed something remarkable. On the days I could fit in those me times, things went more smoothly with my child. I felt more energized, happier, and motivated. But I also noticed something troubling. My cup would empty again, and I would soon need more for myself. It was as if I had given all the energy away. The little amount I had managed to bring back was quickly depleted. I did that happily, but I began to notice an unconscious resentment about my small reserve of energy being taken away. I wondered if there was another way. And then, a very wise woman told me something that changed everything, "Fill up your cup, and give from the overflow." The overflow principle: A revolutionary approach to giving That moment was magical. She explained that I needed to make sure I gave myself enough to overflow my cup, and only then was it time to give to others. This is still a work in progress for me, and I only manage it some of the time. But on the days I do manage, and even on the days I imagine it happening, something magical occurs. I realize that life is abundant. There is plenty for everyone. We simply need to manage our own serving. As Melinda Cohan writes in Sustainable Success, “When you give from the overflow, you ensure that you never have to stop to recharge. Instead of working to exhaustion and then refueling in spurts, you are consistently fueling yourself as you go.” Research supports this approach. Studies on self-care and resilience show that self-compassion and ongoing self-care practices are among the most important factors in maintaining well-being and preventing burnout. When people prioritize filling their own cup first, they actually have more energy and capacity to give to others.[5] Think of it like the airplane oxygen mask analogy. You must put on your own mask before helping others. Not because you are selfish, but because if you pass out from lack of oxygen, you cannot help anyone. What giving from the overflow looks like in practice Giving from the overflow is not about being perfect or never experiencing stress. It is about fundamentally shifting how you approach self-care and giving. The old way (giving from an empty cup) You give to everyone else first, fitting in self-care only if time permits, which it rarely does You run on fumes, feeling depleted and resentful You crash periodically and need an extended recovery time You feel guilty when you take time for yourself Your giving feels like an obligation rather than joy The new way (giving from the overflow) You prioritize filling your cup daily, making it non-negotiable You give to yourself until your cup overflows, then share from that abundance You maintain consistent energy levels rather than experiencing extreme highs and lows You understand that self-care enables better care for others Your giving comes from a place of joy and genuine generosity, not obligation It does not need to be entire weekends away from the kids. Sometimes, 30 minutes here and there are all that we need. But we need to be consistent and prioritize it. Because sometimes, the best thing we can do to be good parents, good partners, friends, caregivers, or professionals is to look after ourselves and our own serving of joy. As a good friend told me when my daughter was born, a good parent is a happy parent. I would never have imagined that it would take me a whole decade to fully understand this. The special case of neurodivergent children: Why your energy matters even more If you have a neurodivergent child, you already know this truth in your bones, they have a special radar for sensing your mood. You cannot trick them with smiles and good words. They immediately know whether their parent is in a state of openness and availability to be there for them. When you are depleted, even if you try to hide it, they sense it. Often, they respond with increased dysregulation, meltdowns, or shutdowns. Not because they are being difficult, but because your nervous system state affects theirs. They pick up on your stress, your depletion, and your barely contained overwhelm. But when you are in a state of overflow, when you have genuinely filled your cup and are operating from a place of calm and centeredness, they sense that too. And magic happens. Interactions become smoother. Connection becomes easier. They feel safe because your nervous system is communicating safety. This is not about being perfect. This is about being resourced. And you cannot be resourced if you are constantly giving from an empty cup. The transformative benefits of giving from the overflow When you take care of yourself, as a parent, as an adult, as a human being, you are more present for others. Your loved ones enjoy being with you because they feel the positive energy that emanates from you. This does not mean everything will be perfect, but you will be in a better position to deal with everyday challenges from a place of calm, centeredness, and possibility. Research confirms this. Studies show that when people establish healthy boundaries and prioritize self-care, they experience improved mental health, better relationships, increased self-esteem, and greater resilience.[7] The benefits extend to: Physical health: More energy, better sleep, a stronger immune system Emotional health: Greater patience, less resentment, more genuine joy Relationship quality: Deeper connections, less conflict, more presence Parenting effectiveness: Calmer responses, better attunement, modeling self-care Professional performance: Increased creativity, better decision-making, sustained productivity Life satisfaction: A greater sense of fulfillment, meaning, and purpose As noted in Brainz Magazine[3], prioritizing self-care and reframing it as an essential practice, not a luxury, lays the foundation for sustained empowerment. It allows you to engage regularly in activities that rejuvenate your mind, body, and spirit. How to start giving from the overflow today If this concept resonates with you but you are not sure where to begin, here is a practical guide. Assess your current state: On a scale of 0 to 10, how full is your cup right now? Be honest. If you are below a five, you are giving from depletion, not overflow. Identify your refueling activities: What genuinely fills your cup? Not what you think should fill it, but what actually does. Make a list. Include physical, emotional, mental, social, practical, and spiritual activities. Schedule non-negotiable self-care time: Put it in your calendar like any other important appointment. Protect this time fiercely. Remember, this is not selfish. This is essential to your ability to care for others well. Start small but consistent: Even 15 to 30 minutes daily can make a significant difference. The key is consistency, not duration. Daily small acts of self-care are more sustainable than occasional grand gestures. Notice the overflow: Pay attention to when your cup is not just full, but overflowing. How does it feel? What led to it? How do others respond to you when you are in this state? Use this awareness to refine your self-care practices. Give from that place: When you feel resourced, energized, and at peace, that is when you give. Notice how different it feels to give from overflow versus obligation. Notice how others receive your giving differently when it comes from this place. Refill daily: Do not wait until you are depleted to refill. Just as you would not wait until your car is out of gas to refuel, do not wait until burnout to practice self-care. Keep yourself consistently resourced. The abundance mindset: There is enough for everyone One of the most profound shifts that comes with giving from the overflow is recognizing that life is abundant. There is plenty for everyone. We have been conditioned to believe in scarcity, that if we take care of ourselves, there will not be enough left for others. That prioritizing our needs is inherently selfish. That good people sacrifice themselves for the greater good. But this is a lie that keeps us small, depleted, and resentful. The truth is this. When you fill your cup to overflowing, everyone benefits. Your children benefit from a parent who is present and calm. Your partner benefits from someone who has energy for connection. Your friends benefit from your genuine joy. Your work benefits from your creativity and focus. Your community benefits from your sustained contribution. In the same way we avoid fishing when the little ones are growing to ensure sustainable fish populations, we can only create a sustainable, positive, energetic environment, in our families, our workplaces, and our communities, by taking care of ourselves first. This is not selfishness. This is wisdom. This is sustainability. This is love, for yourself and for everyone around you. A final invitation: Make the shift today So I invite you. Stop making excuses about why you cannot prioritize yourself. Stop believing the lie that taking care of yourself takes away from others. Stop running on empty and wondering why you feel resentful, exhausted, and disconnected. Instead, make a commitment today. Fill up your cup. Not halfway. Not just enough to get by. Fill it until it overflows. And keep that state of overflow for as long as you can, refilling it daily. You will see the difference it makes in your life and in the lives of your loved ones. You will experience the joy of giving from genuine abundance rather than depleting obligation. You will discover that when you honor yourself, you actually have more, not less, to give to the people you love. And you know what? Everyone around you will sense it immediately. They will feel the shift in your energy. They will respond to your calm and presence. They will benefit from your overflow. So be there for yourself. Fill your cup. Give from the overflow. It is a win-win situation for everyone. Ready to transform how you give and receive? If you are ready to learn how to fill your cup and give from the overflow, sustainably and joyfully, I offer programs and coaching specifically designed to help you make this shift. Through my Self-Care Revolution program and one-on-one coaching, you will learn practical strategies for prioritizing yourself, setting healthy boundaries, and creating sustainable rhythms of self-care that keep your cup overflowing. Because you deserve to give from abundance, not depletion. You deserve to feel energized, joyful, and at peace. And everyone you love deserves the best version of you, which is only possible when you take care of yourself first. For more information, visit my website or contact me here . . Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , and LinkedIn  for more info! Read more from Tatiana Goded Tatiana Goded, Motivational Life Coach Tatiana is a Motivational Life Coach passionate about helping women find their life purpose and rediscover the passion in their lives. She spent many years trying to find her own life purpose and recover her childhood passion for writing, wishing someone would help her reach her goals. Her journey was full of struggles and setbacks until she discovered the key elements to success. She is now following her life purpose as a life coach, and has followed her passion for writing, publishing her first book, “A Trip Towards the Sunset,” in March 2025. Tatiana’s mission is to help women in their midlife rediscover their long-forgotten dreams and recover their true selves, bringing back joy and passion to their lives. References: [1] Change Mental Health. (2023). Boundaries and mental health. Link [2] Cohan, M. (2023). Sustainable Success: Thriving in business and performing at high levels without burning out. Wiley. [3] Kenyon, L. (2024). The empowerment revolution: Women rising together. Brainz Magazine. Link [4] Teladoc Health. (2024). Mental health tips: 8 ways to avoid burnout. Link [5] Weston, K., et al. (2025). The role of self-care and self-compassion in networks of resilience and stress among healthcare professionals. Scientific Reports, 15, 1111. Link [6] West, C. P., et al. (2023). Workplace interventions to improve well-being and reduce burnout for nurses, physicians, and allied healthcare professionals: A systematic review. BMJ Open, 13(6). Link [7] How boundaries improve your mental health

Written by Andrea Yearsley, Creative Leadership Coach Andrea Yearsley helps ambitious women break free from the chaos. With her effective system, her clients learn to establish clear limits, boost their productivity, and reignite that creative spark they thought they'd lost. In creative industries, confidence is often misunderstood. It’s mistaken for volume. For certainty. For charisma, bravado, or the ability to speak quickly without pausing to think. The most confident people in the room, we’re told, are the ones with the strongest opinions, the fastest answers, the sharpest edges. That assumption quietly undermines some of the most capable creatives. Because real confidence doesn’t announce itself. It stabilises. And when it’s missing, no amount of talent can compensate for the internal friction it creates. The confidence myth that holds creatives back Many high-level creatives believe confidence is something you either have or you don’t.   If you were confident, you wouldn’t hesitate before sending the email. You wouldn’t over-prepare for meetings you’re already qualified to be in. You wouldn’t second-guess instincts shaped by years of experience. So when confidence wobbles, the conclusion is often personal: something must be wrong. In reality, confidence is not a personality trait. It’s a state. More precisely, it’s a nervous system state that allows thinking, intuition, voice, and decision-making to work together without internal interference. When that system is under prolonged pressure scrutiny, responsibility, past failure, high stakes, confidence doesn’t disappear. It becomes inaccessible. Why highly capable people feel the least confident The clients described here are not beginners. They are experienced, intelligent, accomplished creatives: leaders responsible for teams and budgets, performers and directors under constant evaluation, writers, producers, founders, and executives whose decisions ripple outward. Their confidence hasn’t vanished. It’s buried under cognitive load. The more responsibility you carry, the more your system is trained to scan for risk. That vigilance is useful until it turns inward. At that point, thinking begins working against you. Over-analysis replaces clarity. Self-monitoring interrupts flow. Internal commentary drowns out instinct. This isn’t a mindset issue. It’s a physiological one.   Confidence is a condition, not a performance One of the least understood truths about confidence is this: you can perform well without feeling confident, and you can feel confident without performing well. Performance is an outcome. Confidence is a condition.   Many high-achieving creatives learn to deliver under pressure. The system runs on adrenaline, control, perfectionism, or fear. It works until it doesn’t. Over time, this approach narrows creativity, exhausts leadership, and strips work of ease.   True confidence creates capacity: to think clearly under pressure, to speak without rehearsal, to tolerate uncertainty without collapsing into self-doubt. That capacity makes excellence repeatable rather than accidental.   What confidence actually feels like When confidence is present, it’s rarely described as bold. More often, it’s described as quiet. There is less internal noise. Less urgency to prove. Less reactivity to opinion.   Confidence feels like access to your thinking while you speak. Trust in timing rather than force. Authority that doesn’t need to be displayed. It’s the internal position that says, "I can meet whatever happens next." Not because you’ve predicted it but because you trust your ability to respond.   Why faking confidence backfires Many creatives try to outperform the absence of confidence: scripts, techniques, affirmations, and external validation. These can help briefly. They rarely create stability. The nervous system cannot be persuaded for long. When internal state and external behaviour don’t match, fatigue, anxiety, and imposter syndrome follow. Sustainable confidence isn’t built from the outside in. It’s regulated from the inside out.   The work This work is not about teaching confidence techniques. It’s about restoring internal alignment so confidence becomes a by-product rather than a goal. The work is for high-level creatives and leaders who are outwardly successful but internally over-managing themselves. It addresses the patterns beneath the surface: internal interruption, over-functioning, unconscious bracing. When those patterns release, confidence doesn’t need to be summoned. It returns.   Confidence isn’t louder, it’s quieter The most confident creatives don’t dominate rooms. They create space. Their authority is felt rather than asserted. They are no longer negotiating with themselves every time they step into visibility. That is the work. Not becoming someone new but removing what interferes with who you already are. Follow me on LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Andrea Yearsley Andrea Yearsley, Creative Leadership Coach Andrea Yearsley is a Creative Leadership for Women. She helps ambitious women break free from the chaos. With her effective system, clients learn to establish clear limits, boost their productivity, and reignite that creative spark they thought they'd lost. Her clients go from putting out fires daily to embracing strategic leadership. They typically see a 50% increase in their team's output while slashing their hours by a third, turning overwhelmed into a well-balanced life where they can thrive at work and at home.

Written by Valerie Priester, Mindset & Strategy Catalyst for Women Entrepreneurs Valerie Priester empowers high-achieving women entrepreneurs who know they’re capable of more to break through internal barriers and scale with purpose. There is a quiet heartbreak I see in so many high-achieving women. They are capable. They are intelligent. They are deeply gifted. And yet, they are waiting. Waiting for clarity. Waiting for confidence. Waiting for life to slow down enough to finally begin. The problem is not that they lack vision. The problem is that they have been taught to believe that action should come after certainty, that confidence should arrive before movement, and that readiness is a prerequisite for progress. It is not. Waiting is not neutral. Waiting costs momentum, self-trust, and time you do not get back. The myth of “this is my year” Every January, the declarations return. “This is my year.” “I’m finally going to do it.” “I’m done playing small.” And for a moment, it feels true. But then real life shows up. Work gets busy. Family needs attention. Fear whispers that now is not the right time. And slowly, quietly, the same pattern repeats. The goal does not disappear. It simply moves to the background again. What most women do not realize is that waiting does not come from laziness or lack of ambition. It comes from self-protection. Waiting feels safer than risking disappointment, wiser than making the wrong move, and responsible when we have been taught to put everyone else first. But safety and stagnation often wear the same disguise. Why waiting keeps you stuck After years of coaching heart-centered women entrepreneurs, I can say this with clarity. The women who feel the most stuck are not unsure of what they want. They are unsure of themselves. They have learned to second-guess their instincts, over-prepare instead of act, and delay decisions until someone else validates them. Over time, this erodes self-trust. And without self-trust, even the best strategy will stall. Waiting teaches your nervous system that you cannot be trusted to move forward without guarantees. Action, even imperfect action, teaches the opposite. Action builds confidence, not the other way around Confidence is not a personality trait. It is a byproduct of action. You do not wake up one morning suddenly ready. You become ready by keeping small promises to yourself. Sending the message you have been avoiding. Raising your rate even if your voice shakes. Showing up consistently instead of restarting every few weeks. Each action becomes evidence. Each step strengthens trust. Each follow-through rewires belief. This is how confidence is built. Quietly. Repeatedly. Honestly. The cost of waiting versus the reward of movement Waiting feels harmless, but it carries a hidden cost. It costs the income you are capable of earning, the impact you are meant to make, and the version of you who knows she is meant for more. Movement, on the other hand, does not require perfection. It requires commitment. What must you be committed to? Acting before you feel ready, choosing progress over comfort, and trusting yourself enough to begin. The women who change their lives are not the most fearless. They are the most willing to move while fear is present. A different way forward If you are tired of telling yourself that this is your year, only to repeat the same patterns, consider this instead. What if this is the year you stop waiting? What if you act without full certainty? What if you decide that your desire is reason enough to begin? To make this happen, you do not need permission, more time, or to become someone else first. You need to move. Get in action. Because the life you want is not on the other side of readiness. It is on the other side of action. Ready for a stronger, simpler, more aligned new year? If you’ve been waiting long enough, I can help you reset and rise with aligned action and intention. Book a free Next Level Clarity Session with me. Together, we will map out the first aligned moves that get you out of “waiting” mode and into action that supports your life and your business. Click here to schedule your next level clarity session . Or download my free guide, Break Through Your Confidence Plateau. Rebuild self-trust. Release old stories. Step into your next level with clarity. Click here to get your guide now . Designing your victory is a choice. Start by taking one bold step today. Follow Valerie on Facebook , Instagram , and LinkedIn ,  or visit her website  for more info.  Read more from Valerie Priester Valerie Priester, Mindset & Strategy Catalyst for Women Entrepreneurs Valerie Priester empowers high-achieving women entrepreneurs who know they’re capable of more to break through internal barriers and scale with purpose. As Founder of Victorious Life Coaching LLC, Valerie blends deep mindset work with values-aligned business strategy, ensuring her clients don’t just set bold goals, they implement them with confidence and consistency.

Written by Anne Wallen, Director and Founder of MaternityWise Intl Anne Wallen is a respected figure in women’s health with over 30 years of experience and is a leading voice on global change in maternity care, particularly for those at greatest risk. Becoming a mother should be a time of celebration, healing, and transformation, not a time of risk to life. Yet every year, far too many women die from preventable complications during pregnancy, childbirth, or postpartum. Maternal mortality remains a global health crisis, and while some countries have made impressive progress, others, like the United States, are seeing troubling trends. Let’s explore the top five leading causes of maternal death, compare how the U.S. differs from other nations in both causation and care, and discuss how these deaths can often be prevented with the right support systems, clinical practices, and community care. Maternal mortality: A global snapshot Globally, approximately 287,000 women die every year due to pregnancy-related causes (WHO, 2023). The majority of these deaths occur in low- and middle-income countries, often due to limited access to skilled care. But the United States, despite its wealth and medical technology, has one of the highest maternal mortality rates among high-income nations. According to the CDC, the U.S. maternal mortality rate was 32.9 deaths per 100,000 live births in 2021, with Black women experiencing rates, on average, nearly three times higher than white women. This does not include even higher statistics in places like New York City, where the maternal mortality rate for Black women includes estimates of up to nine times higher than white women. This is a complex issue rooted in healthcare access, systemic bias, and gaps in postpartum care. Top 5 leading causes of maternal mortality Let’s take a closer look at the main causes of maternal death, many of which are preventable or manageable with timely, respectful, and equitable care. 1. Hemorrhage (severe bleeding) What it is: Uncontrolled bleeding during or after childbirth, often from uterine atony (when the uterus doesn’t contract properly), retained placenta, or surgical complications. Global context: Hemorrhage is the leading cause of maternal death worldwide, especially in countries without access to emergency obstetric care or blood transfusions. In the U.S., hemorrhage remains a major cause, particularly in cases where warning signs are missed or treatment is delayed due to systemic issues or provider bias. Prevention strategies: Active, not aggressive, management based in patience and an understanding of the normal physiological process of the third stage of labor (for example, uterotonic medications like oxytocin). Often, premature pulling of the placenta can actually cause hemorrhage that then necessitates medication Delaying cord clamping and stopping the selling of placental and cord blood and tissue products Education for families so they know their rights and can reject procedures that endanger them or increase risk, even if those procedures are standard protocol in a profit-driven hospital system Access to and funding for doulas and home birth midwives, who are able to educate, advocate, and support, as well as provide frontline, in-person evaluation after patients are discharged home Proper training in emergency response Quick access to surgical teams and blood products Careful monitoring of uterine inversion and blood loss during postpartum, not just immediately after birth Reduction in non-medically necessary inductions, because the medications used to create contractions can overwhelm brain receptors, reducing or impairing the body’s natural ability to clamp down after birth 2. Hypertensive disorders (preeclampsia and eclampsia) What they are: Conditions involving high blood pressure during pregnancy, which can lead to seizures, stroke, organ failure, or placental abruption. Global context: Preeclampsia is responsible for 10-15% of maternal deaths worldwide and is a leading cause of preterm birth. In the U.S., rates of hypertensive disorders in pregnancy have risen. Racial disparities are stark, with Black women more likely to develop preeclampsia and less likely to receive early diagnosis and timely intervention. Prevention strategies: Routine blood pressure and urine checks throughout prenatal care Providing education on warning signs and supporting a mindset of personal responsibility for one’s own healthcare Nutritional education, as a large number of poor outcomes can be prevented with proper nourishment Access to foods and supplements free from chemicals, pesticides, and other harmful agents that disrupt the body’s ability to absorb nutrients Low-dose aspirin for high-risk pregnancies Early detection and treatment with antihypertensives Timely delivery if the condition becomes life-threatening 3. Infection (sepsis) What it is: Severe infections during or after childbirth can lead to sepsis, a life-threatening inflammatory response in the body. Global context: Infections are a major cause of maternal mortality in low-resource areas, often linked to poor hygiene, unsterile environments, or untreated UTIs and wound infections. In the U.S., maternal sepsis is often preventable but can progress rapidly if symptoms are ignored or mistaken for normal postpartum discomfort. Prevention strategies: Access to and funding for home birth midwives, where patients are safe at home and not delivering in environments with unfamiliar germ profiles Proper hygiene and sterile techniques in all delivery settings Education for families on early recognition of symptoms, such as fever, chills, rapid heartbeat, and unusual discharge Prompt antibiotics and supportive care Access to effective probiotics after antibiotics are given, for long-term protection against recurring infection 4. Cardiovascular conditions What they are: Heart-related complications, including peripartum cardiomyopathy, blood clots, and pre-existing cardiac disease worsened by pregnancy. Global context: In high-income countries, cardiovascular issues are now a leading cause of maternal death, especially as more women give birth later in life or with chronic conditions. In the U.S., cardiac-related deaths make up a significant portion of maternal mortality, particularly in the postpartum period. These deaths often stem from delayed diagnosis or inadequate follow-up. Prevention strategies: Preconception screening for high-risk women Individualized birth plans for those with heart conditions Access to doulas for support, education, and follow-up care Monitoring blood pressure, shortness of breath, and fatigue postpartum Stronger collaboration between midwives, OBs, and cardiologists Reducing and working to eliminate exposure to medications, chemicals, and vaccines known to cause cardiovascular issues, especially during pregnancy 5. Mental health and suicide What it is: Suicide and drug-related deaths are growing contributors to maternal mortality in some countries, particularly the U.S. Global context: Mental health is often underrecognized in maternal health conversations. Stigma, lack of screening, and poor access to perinatal mental healthcare contribute to unnecessary deaths. In the U.S., suicide and overdose have become leading causes of maternal death, especially in the postpartum period, up to one year after birth. These deaths often go uncounted if not directly linked to pregnancy. Prevention strategies: Routine mental health screening during and after pregnancy Access to midwives for all basic prenatal care, including initial screening for home delivery, which should be the starting point for care, even if transfer to a hospital is necessary later for high-risk births Access to doulas for educational and emotional support during the transition to parenthood as preventive care Required education in trauma-conscious care for all individuals who interact with pregnant, birthing, and postpartum patients Improved record keeping and statistical studies on mental, emotional, and psychological abuse and trauma during pregnancy, birth, and immediately after Accountability for providers with a history of causing trauma Culturally appropriate therapy and psychiatric care Doula and peer support models that provide emotional safety after experiences of abuse and trauma Consistent home care or in-patient couplet care, where mothers receive care with their babies present and do not have to seek support that harms the mother-infant attachment or causes further trauma. The goal is to prevent worsening mental health issues and make care more accessible, as finding childcare for a newborn can be prohibitive Accessible substance use treatment programs tailored specifically to mothers Why the U.S. is falling behind, and how we fix it While global progress has focused on improving access to skilled birth attendants and emergency care, the U.S. continues to struggle with systemic issues such as racial bias, fragmented care, insurance barriers, and a lack of postpartum support. Some key differences: Other countries offer universal postpartum home visits, extended parental leave, and midwifery-led continuity of care In contrast, U.S. postpartum visits often occur only once at six weeks, which is far too late to catch many complications Doulas are often not covered by insurance and are therefore viewed as luxury services rather than the life-saving care that statistical evidence demonstrates Implicit bias leads to providers dismissing pain or symptoms, especially in Black, Indigenous, and other women of color Solutions that save lives Preventing maternal deaths is not just about high-tech equipment or hospital settings. It is about listening to mothers, recognizing red flags early, and providing consistent, respectful care. Here’s what works: Midwives, doulas, and culturally matched providers offering holistic, continuous care Better training in recognizing complications for all birth workers Support and sustainable financial compensation for all birth workers Universal health coverage for prenatal and postpartum care Data tracking and accountability, especially regarding racial disparities, coercion, abuse, and trauma Empowering mothers with education about their rights, their bodies, and warning signs Maternal mortality should be rare and preventable. In many countries, it already is. Every mother deserves to survive childbirth and return home with her baby in her arms, not just in body, but in mind and spirit as well. With the right systems, respectful care, and community-based support, we can change the statistics and write a different story for mothers across the U.S. and around the world. Follow me on Facebook and Instagram for more info! Read more from Anne Wallen Anne Wallen, Director and Founder of MaternityWise Intl Anne Wallen is a respected figure in women’s health with over 30 years of experience and is a leading voice on global change in maternity care, particularly for those at greatest risk. She continues to educate and empower birth professionals in more than 20 countries, contributes to a variety of curricula, and shapes the future of maternal health through her impactful role as a speaker and mentor. Anne is the Director and co-founder of MaternityWise International, and her legacy lies in inspiring generational changes around and elevating women's healthcare worldwide.

Written by Viviana Castaneda, Digital Mompreneur Viviana Castaneda, a mom of two and entrepreneur since 2017, is the founder of Digital Mompreneurs, an empowering brand helping moms bring their digital business ideas to life. With a focus on confidence, time management, and content consistency, Viviana is dedicated to empowering fellow moms in the digital world. You’ve probably heard that SEO is changing. But let’s be real, what does that actually mean when you’re a coach, a service provider, or someone running a personal brand trying to grow online? Here’s the no-fluff version. It means your one great post, your single well-optimized blog, or that Reel that “should” have gone viral… isn’t going to cut it anymore. Because search is no longer just about keywords. It’s about trust. And not just trust with your audience, but trust with the AI-driven platforms that decide what gets seen. In this article, I am going to show you how to build a content ecosystem that actually works now, not three years ago. 1. What the heck is a trust network (and why you need one) Imagine your visibility is like building referrals. If one client recommends you, great. But if five clients, two podcast hosts, and a peer in your industry all mention you? Now you’ve got momentum. That’s what a trust network looks like online. It’s when your name, your ideas, and your content are showing up in multiple places, on your feed, your website, someone else’s podcast, inside a guest expert training, in an article. It signals to AI platforms and to potential clients, “This person knows their stuff, and others trust them too.” 2. How search is changing (and why it’s not just for bloggers anymore) AI search, like Google’s new generative search or ChatGPT’s browsing tools, is changing how people find experts. People aren’t just Googling “life coach for moms” or “branding photographer near me.” They’re typing full questions like: “How do I start showing up consistently online?” “What’s the best way to repurpose content for Instagram and email?” AI isn’t just scanning websites for keywords. It’s pulling from sources it trusts. If your name or content is part of a connected ecosystem, articles, interviews, social content, or podcast features, you have a better chance of being included in the answer. This is how clients find you without you having to hustle all day in the DMs. 3. How to show up where it counts (without being everywhere) Let’s break it down into a simple three-step cycle. Step 1: Trust signals These are the little breadcrumbs that say, “I’m legit.” Think blog posts, podcast guest spots, testimonials, niche-focused Reels, even your name popping up on someone else’s story. Step 2: AI picks it up The more places you show up in a consistent way, the more AI sees you as a go-to voice. It’s like building street cred with the bots. Step 3: People engage Once someone finds you, they want to binge a bit. Read your post. Watch your video. Check your link in bio. Your ecosystem keeps them in your world long enough to build trust. 4. What this actually looks like (even if you’re a one-woman show) You don’t need to be on five platforms or have a content team. But you do need a plan that plays the long game. Start here: Pick one to three things you want to be known for. Not everything. Just the stuff you’re lit up about and can talk about all day. Turn one idea into multiple pieces. A voice note rant turns into a Reel, becomes an email tip, then turns into a blog. Say yes to being seen. Guest spots, live collabs, even sharing your take on someone else’s post equals trust points. Keep it all connected. Think of your content like puzzle pieces. They should all point back to the same message. 5. You’re not just posting, you’re building a reputation Here’s the deal. You’re not here to chase likes. You’re here to be remembered. That takes more than a viral moment. It takes showing up in ways that say, “I know my stuff, and I’m here for the long run.” The internet’s noisy. But trust cuts through. Let’s build the kind of content presence that sticks, so when someone’s finally ready to hire, they already know who to call. That’s the power of a trust network. And you don’t need to be everywhere to build one. You just need to start showing up like the expert you already are. Ready to be seen, supported, and connected? Welcome to Content Her Flow Collective, the space where women entrepreneurs come to grow on their terms. If you’re craving genuine visibility, aligned collaborations, and a content strategy that actually fits your life, this is your next move. Inside, you’ll find: A community of purpose-driven women who get it Weekly tools and trainings to help you simplify your content Opportunities to network, co-create, and grow your reach Support to help you show up confidently and consistently This is more than a group. It’s your visibility home base. Join Content Her Flow Collective on Skool , where real content, real connection, and real growth begin. Let’s make your message visible, without losing your voice. Follow me on  Facebook , Instagram , and visit my website  for more info! Read more from Viviana Castaneda Viviana Castaneda, Digital Mompreneur Viviana Castaneda has been making waves in the entrepreneurial world since 2017. With a bachelor's degree in marketing and a dedication to her role as a mother, she has seamlessly balanced her entrepreneurial journey with raising her children. As the founder of Digital Mompreneurs, she leverages her personal experiences to develop empowering tactics and strategies that assist fellow mompreneurs in regaining the confidence essential for success, delving deep into the understanding of the human brain, mind, and behavior.