Written by: Rita Hurry, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Be your Unique Self. Yes, you are your own brand! Therefore, you need to be your unique self. Being a copy of another is a waste of time. You cannot get the best out of life and all it’s opportunities if you are constantly trying to be like another. You have a life that is a gift. And you are a gift to life. You are a gift to those you encounter as well as both family and friends. There is only one you, and you are the best you that there is, so embrace this and start putting forward your unique brand. You are Awesome. Oh yes, you are! You have to embrace this notion to make your brand stand out. In business, everyone focuses on branding and trying to ensure they follow the rules of branding. But you are your own brand. No matter what colours or image you choose for your brand, you are the one that has to carry the brand when you connect with others. It is you and your personality. So, you have to embrace being your awesome self. You have to be, think and speak the brand that is the real you. You have to acknowledge that no color or image is going to do the speaking and the living for you. It’s what you say, how you act, what content you share etc. This is why being unique and shining bright goes hand in hand. Stop hiding away. If your aim is to connect with others and attract new clients or customers to your business, you have to allow yourself to shine. You have to be willing to stand out and shine and show up in the real world as your unique self. It’s so easy to work behind the scenes all the time, but life is for living both personally and professionally. Life calls for you to experience life and be willing to stand out every so often. Are you willing to do this? Are you willing to share the brand that you are with others, not just to get new clients and customers, but also to just get the best out of life? By being your brand at every moment in your life, you begin to design the life you really want. You step into your creator power and put back the power into everything you do. Be your brand and let it shine and life will open up and become so much more for you. Visit me on my Facebook, Instagram, Podcast, and website! Read more from Rita! Rita Hurry, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Rita's mission is to help individuals in the Creative Arts, Media, Music, and Film Industry, believe in their dreams and never give up on making them come true. Making the impossible - I'm Possible. She began Life Coaching in 2003 and has never looked back since. She is a great believer in Personal Development and Mindfulness work, whether it is practically or spiritually. Rita is a Subject Matter Expert in Law of Attraction & Flow Coaching, Mindfulness & Meditation, Business, and Nirvana Fitness and Energy Healing. She was awarded Best Law Of Attraction Coach in 2015. She has coached many clients across different professions. For example, CEOs and Entrepreneurs; Casting Agents; Actors; Singers; Musicians; Authors; Artists, DJs, and so many more across the globe and nationwide, including those working in the education industry. She is currently the co-founder of RIME Entertainment and co-hosts. She co-produces an online Interview Show called RIME Entertainment Showcase, where she and her co-host interview people from all over the globe who have overcome hurdles in life and are now fulfilling and living their dream.

Written by: Marilda Cutrone, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Experts acknowledge that technology is driving massive and profound changes in work models and processes. People’s behaviour around the Globe is changing at a rapid pace, and the ones who succeed are those who have already taken significant steps to become more digital. We are experiencing a scenario in which technology creates new challenges as well as new opportunities for people within this digital transformation. So, the question is “What are the “soft and digital skills” and how important is it to acquire them?” Soft Skills are mainly a combination of emotional intelligence, social skills, communication skills, personality, attitude, problem-solving, leadership and personal philosophy (or lifestyle). Digital Skills are the ability to use digital devices, apps, programs, platforms and networks to access and manage information easily, anytime, and everywhere. To make it very clear, “the soft & digital skills” are a combination of the two categories and go far beyond the technology itself, as they involve massively the emotional, social and interpersonal spheres. In short, this is an indicative map of the nine essential “soft and digital skills.” 1. Confidence using different devices: whether it is a computer or a laptop or a smartphone, moving between devices is a great advantage. Also, knowing how to use apps and programs and being able to move between different file formats and communication tools is crucial. 2. Fluency in navigating the internet: know how to distinguish genuine sources from false (or low-poor quality) sources, how to identify useful information and how to optimize your search for quick and accurate information. 3. Understanding what you are allowed to do: the Web is a gold mine, but you can't steal gold nuggets. You need to know how to take information and rewrite it in your own words, how to give credit to the author or source, how to recognize and respect licences, how to comply with GDPR. 4. Fluency in social networks: understand how the different platforms work (algorithm) and adapt your language to each of them (i.e, writing on LinkedIn is different from writing on Instagram); how to express yourself in an authentic and respectful way; how to use the tools available: comments, messages, stats, etc. 5. Building online interpersonal relationships: you need to connect to people virtually and build positive and trustworthy relationships. To do this, you need to understand people's problems and needs and to respect their timing and reactions: written messages can often be misunderstood, so you have to choose the right words and adapt them to the interlocutor. You also need to know how to accompany written messages with videos and other forms of interaction. 6. Awareness of digital trends: digital technologies are constantly changing and keeping up with the changes often requires a great deal of effort, but at least you need to know the key trends in order to make informed decisions, and change of direction. 7. Keeping an open mind: in this scenario, you need to learn by study (programs and courses) and by doing, take it as an “experimental learning,” action takers are more rewarded. You need to change and adapt your strategy and to do this you have to be receptive to new opportunities or different ways of doing things. 8. Knowing your numbers: automations and apps provide us with a lot of data and statistics, of whatever kind and for whatever purpose. And knowing how to interpret these numbers is crucial to use them to your advantage. 9. Ability to connect emotionally. Empathy is the most important soft skill combined with today's technologies and digital skills. The digital dimension prevents us from having a physical and direct contact with people, and for this reason, you must develop as much as possible your ability to understand people, their needs, their feelings, their doubts in order to provide the right solution to their problems. Data from the World Economic Forum shows that nearly 1.4 million people will lose their jobs due to technological change by 2026 - i.e. in five years' time. All those who can close the “digital skills gap” will thrive in this new era. That is why it is vital to acquire the “soft and digital skills.” Education and economy are clearly linked and the key point is to learn with an open mind and transform the new challenge into an opportunity. Failing in doing this will, unfortunately, double the risk to be left behind. To put it into the positive perspective, thanks to the on-demand and online trainings, resources such as time, location and cost are no longer barriers to learning. It depends mainly on the willingness to do it, or not to do it, as the information are always accessible and usually affordable. Besides, where the technology and AI take over jobs, humans can focus on more meaningful activities and use the emotional intelligence as their advantage. Robots cannot show emotion and empathy like humans. Therefore, emotional intelligence and other good soft skills, combined with automation and technology are crucial to be successful. No matter if you are a small business owner, a company or an employee, this is what you need to understand to thrive (both financially and personally). AI has improved systems, but to do business (and ultimately, to live), we need to communicate effectively now more than ever to make meaningful connections with each other. For this reason, blending soft and digital skills makes sense and is now a must. To sum up, technology is driving us to change. Resisting change is dangerous for ourselves and pointless. As in previous industrial revolutions, those who survived were those who could learn, take up the challenge and turn it into an opportunity, and who avoided being left behind. Similarly, in 2021, we must stop considering 'soft and digital skills' as a passing fad or a social whim, and instead, we need to acquire and develop them for success in work and private life. Follow Marilda on Instagram, find her on Facebook, or visit her website to learn more about the programs. You can also subscribe to her YouTube-channel! Read more from Marilda! Marilda Cutrone, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Marilda walked away from a successful 20-year career as Senior Project Manager. For many years, she felt unfulfilled: she was continuously struggling to juggle her career and family. And eventually found herself drained and depressed. Marilda massively changed her life in 2019 when she realized that developing a new set of skills in the current economy is necessary. And here is why: over $2.5 trillion per year is being spent on retail purchases online and, over the last few months, there's been a 25% increase in online sales. Marilda created her own business – Living My Digital Life – and reached a whole new work-life balance level by leveraging the digital skills. This shift would not have been possible for Marilda if she had not discovered the power of affiliate marketing. She is now the owner of her time and can build her career around the family (not a life arranged around the job as it used to be). Her mission is to empower other women to stand up for themselves and make the same shift. Hence Marilda offers a program that walks you through specific steps to learn the skills you need to create a profitable online business from scratch.

Written by: Jesi Carroll, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Here’s the thing. It can be easy to feel afraid of taking steps towards the things we want in life. It’s overwhelming, the outcome isn’t guaranteed, and committing to something unknown can feel like a huge risk. It can become catastrophized quickly. Or maybe someone has helped you to lay out all the action steps in digestible, bite-sized chunks? Now it’s about the motivation to see it through. “Do I really want this?” “Do I have the grit?” “How do I know if this is something or THE THING I should spend my time on?” Making moves in life towards our goals can feel all-consuming and because of that, the movement can feel slow or like it’s not happening at all. But I want you to remember this famous saying: It’s all about the journey, not the destination. When we don’t enjoy the process of our goals, it makes life miserable and has us questioning if the goal is even worth it. However, if we DO enjoy the process of achieving our goals, we tend to achieve them faster and with a fire lit inside of us. A fire that keeps the motivation burning long past the first goal so we can continue to the next one. Here are my top 3 tips for moving towards your next goal in a more enjoyable (and dare I say FUN) way: 1. Release the Black and White, All or Nothing Mentality: By this I mean saying things like, “𝘐𝘧 𝘐 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴, 𝘪𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴.” Or “𝘐𝘧 𝘐 𝘧𝘰𝘤𝘶𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦, 𝘪𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘶𝘮.” Or “𝘐𝘧 𝘐 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺.” It’s all scarcity thinking. You see, a leap towards our goals can be as big or as little as we want. We don’t need to sacrifice everything, and in an instant at that. (𝘖𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘘𝘜𝘈𝘕𝘛𝘜𝘔 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘱𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘴𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘵 𝘣𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦). If we can see life as a marathon and not a sprint, we become reassured that small action steps made consistently over time are what changes the game. 2. Stop Doing What You Think Everyone Else is Doing: For instance, social media has many feelings that instant success is a thing. Therefore, we see a lot of comparisons and living out of integrity to re-create what seems to be working for another in the hopes of achieving faster. This can lead to people screwing themselves over and quitting all means of stability to go all-in on their dreams. (I am guilty of this because someone once told me “If you have a plan B, you don’t have a plan A” and I lived by it). You do not need to hustle until you can’t function anymore to make up for the stability you just took yourself out of. Try planning on the side of what you’re currently doing. You’d be amazed at what one thing per day in the direction of you want can add up to over the course of a month, 6 months, a year, etc. 3. Guess and Make a Move. One Inch of Action is Stronger than a Mile of Intention. If you don’t know what to do, it’s time to guess and give something a try. It’s time to start making actual movements. Otherwise, you will be stuck in the thinking, researching, longing, and waiting phase forever. Even if you guess wrong and end up moving in a completely weird direction that you realized wasn’t right, doing this will never be a failure. Instead, it will allow you to learn quickly while creating clarity at the same time. One thing that helps me to feel better after making one move towards something I desire is to attach a reward to the thing. Upon completion of the task, I allow myself something to look forward to. This inspiration keeps me going when the going gets annoying/tough. (Some of my favorite rewards: taking a bath, taking myself to a restaurant I’ve been wanting to try, extended time outside, eating the snack I held off on, watching a new movie, a nap, listening to a new album, playing a new podcast episode, etc.) But ANYTHING goes! These are just a few ideas to get you moving towards your goals, but there’s one more thing I want you to know. There IS a light at the end of your tunnel. I promise you this. And if you need help and guidance to figure that out, there is no shame in asking for it. Follow Jesi on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin and visit her website. Read more from Jesi! Jesi Carroll, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Jesi, certified Life Design Coach, specializes in mentoring career driven women to find more fulfillment in their life as she guides them through the navigation of chaos on the way to purpose. Having spent over 6 years working at some of the biggest corporations in the world as a Recruiter, she is a master relationship builder and understands how to help people achieve high levels of success while maintaining integrity along the way. She's ready to combine her career success strategies with her 10+ years of psychology and personal development education to show you how to have it all! She offers 1on1 Life Coaching, Mindset and Self-Love Healing, Career Transition Guidance, and Self-Purpose Discovery. It's time to heal at the soul level and get back to who you were truly meant to be!

Written by: Nicole Posner, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Have you ever wondered why you are more supportive of certain team members and less so of others? Read on to understand the impact of this practice and 5 useful steps to address it. Come on… be honest. Do you have a favourite child? If you don’t have your own children, I bet you know someone who outwardly adores one of their little cherubs more than others. The child who can do no wrong. The child who breaks your iPad but you smile and let it go. The child who is allowed to stay up an hour later than his or her siblings. Why do you think that is? In many cases it’s because they are easy, compliant, communicative, helpful, caring, thoughtful and responsive. And when they make like easy for you, you are more willing to ‘make allowances’ and be more accommodating towards them. And in the workplace it is no different. But what about the difficult personalities? The ones who make your busy days challenging. The ones who create disruption. They can be draining, exhausting, very time consuming and the chances are you will be less inclined to put yourself out for them. This can become problematic if you don’t recognize it or are unwilling to admit your bias. As a measuring stick, why not consider how you might react in the following situations. When a team member knocks on your door and asks you for support and guidance on a project? Do you happily welcome them in or do you find it an irritating interruption as they do this constantly and at inconvenient times? When a team member asks to schedule a meeting? Do you share that your calendar is wide open for them or do you begrudgingly squeeze them in to a 15 minute slot? When a team member wants to talk through some exciting new ideas? Do you invite them for a coffee to discuss or do you suggest they jot their thoughts down in an email for you to consider? When a team member puts in a request to take the afternoon off for his / her son’s birthday party? Do you agree without hesitation or suggest he / she takes it as half a day’s holiday? Can you see where I’m going with this? If you constantly feel challenged or irritated by one of your team, this will show up in your communication style and your behavior, whether you are aware of it or not. A good example of this playing out might be a situation where a team member frequently talks over others in a meeting. Not only is this disruptive, it’s disrespectful and annoying. You might find yourself unconsciously dismissing their ideas because of your irritation (even though their ideas might have actually been quite good) and instead giving the floor to one of your ‘favoured’ team members. The team member who is just so accommodating! In order to break the chain of difficult and unhelpful communication between you and change the dynamics of your relationship, a little exploration is required. Instead of staying stuck in your beliefs and frustration about this person that they are difficult, why not examine what really infuriates you about them. Having clarity on what is driving your reaction is essential before you can address it. Once identified, arrange a conversation to discuss it. This could be in a weekly catch up or over a coffee but don’t wait until a formal performance review as it will continue to be a source of irritation and only escalate. This might be a tricky conversation so plan it well. Share you observations and then offer a big helping of curiosity. Hand it over to them. Ask what their thoughts are about your comments. Their reply may be surprising. Perhaps your team member is unaware of their unhelpful style or just very enthusiastic to share ideas. Or you may be shocked to find that this ‘overtalker’ is actually very nervous in these meetings so overcompensates by domineering the conversation. Until you’ve understood the reasons and discussed it, nothing will change. Neither therefore will your attitude to them. Discuss what support would be helpful. This could be coaching, training or simply regular check-ins with you. These steps are a much more efficient use of your energy to build rapport and your relationship and once your team member starts to implement the changes, you will no doubt view them in a much more amiable light and will sense a change in your approach towards them too. But please…. no more favorites! Want to learn more from Nicole? Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin and visit her website. Nicole Posner, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Nicole is a Communication and Conflict Expert, supporting leaders, business owners and high-performing teams to communicate and navigate difficult conversations with confidence, courage and compassion. She is a Consultant, Executive Conflict Coach, accredited Workplace Mediator and Trainer and has an interest in the psychology of conflict combined with extensive experience in PR and Communications. Her clients include CEO’s, Leaders, Senior Executives and their teams across multiple sectors. Nicole is author of many published articles on communication and workplace conflict in the following publications: Thrive Global, SME Magazine and HR Magazine. She was featured in COACH Magazine in 2020 and is a regular podcast guest and contributor to local radio shows discussing conflict and communication issues in the workplace. Last year she was a shortlisted finalist in the UK National Mediation Awards 2020.

Written by: Tom Paine, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Why can't you speak in public? It's because I keep telling myself so! Over the years, I held a firm belief that I couldn’t speak in front of an audience. If there were more than 2 people around, I would fumble my words, turn red, and generally make a mess of what I was trying to say. Every time this would happen, every time I would mess up. And after each episode, I would reaffirm to myself: ’you can’t speak in public, so don’t even bother next time!’ Was this story true? Was my ‘belief’ based on fact? The answer was quite simply ’no ,’ and here’s why… I realized that beliefs are not based on evidence. They were merely the result of experiences in my life. I also learned that thoughts create your beliefs. Therefore I was ‘thinking myself’ into this negative belief about public speaking. After realizing that this was the case, I started to challenge myself to get better at it. I started to practice more in the run-up to presentations, and I would prepare what I wanted to say ahead of the event. I also prepared a few pre-rehearsed anecdotes before social events, just in case the spotlight was on me to tell a story. I would visualize the conversation going well, with me at the heart of it. The result of this new belief that I could improve, was a better outcome. Not perfect, but a step in the right direction. I realized that if I changed my attitude by not telling myself the same old story of ‘you can’t speak in Public,’ I had half a chance. Over the years to come, I was promoted to a position that involved hosting office meetings. My job depended on public speaking, so I had to start performing. I mastered Sales Meetings, sometimes in front of 50 + staff. Next up was my wedding speech, keeping 100+ guests entertained (and even making a few family members cry!). My confidence was growing. I even saw it as a new challenge to push myself to get better results. I wanted to continue to prove myself wrong! Disproving my limiting belief culminated when I delivered my Grandad’s Eulogy to friends and family at his funeral. A truly emotional day, but one of great pride as I conquered that limiting belief by delivering a speech my Grandad would have been proud of. So, the question needs to be asked: are your beliefs working for you? There are so many stories that we tell ourselves, thoughts, and beliefs that work against us. They stop us from living a life of true potential. I always enjoy giving this example to my clients as they look to overcome their limiting beliefs. It gives me a sense of pride. It gives my clients a methodology in how to prevent the beliefs that are holding back their lives. Try starting today. Recognize those doubts and thoughts that are keeping you from fulfilling your true potential. And start living! Follow me on LinkedIn , Twitter and visit my website for more info! Read more from Tom! Tom Paine, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Tom Paine is a Certified Life Coach, offering expertise in resilience, confidence growth, and relationship management. Professionally, Tom spent ten years working in the Recruitment sector. He built an excellent reputation as a specialist IT Consultant, eventually becoming a Business Manager, leading sales teams responsible for £8m annual turnover for global and SME organizations, relocating to London and Manchester. Tom’s sales team operated at 18 staff at its peak, ranging from Junior Consultants to Principals, Managers, and Team Leaders. Tom coaches people based on their needs, supporting them to overcome restrictions in their life. Tom's clients experience a renewed sense of confidence, well-being, and energy, enabling them to take control of their lives to start living with happiness and fulfillment. He blends corporate experience, spirituality, and goal setting to fantastic effect.

Written by: Amanda Cottrell, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Do you ever find yourself in a situation where you think that you have no idea how you are going to make it through. Then a few days, months, or years later you look back and you are amazed at how the struggle you went through actually made you stronger. You may even look back at times that you struggled and still wonder how you ever made it through. Right now each and everyone of us has gone through a year and a half of unique struggles either personally, relationally, professionally or a combination of all three, as the world navigated the pandemic. When I look back on this year I am amazed at how truly strong and resilient people are. Even our smallest members of society have shown a tremendous amount of resilience. Businesses had to quickly learn how to continue to do thrive while their employees worked from home. Parents and teachers had to promptly step up and learn to teach and learn online along with the students. Children had to learn in a very different way then ever before in history. Doctors and nurses had to navigate unknown territory and many small businesses had to pivot the direction of their business in order to survive the downturn the pandemic brought on. Yet we all made it through and are truly stronger in some way. Maybe you learned a new skill. Maybe you learned how to enjoy the simpler things in life. Maybe you had a relationship fail and now you are learning to rebuild your life. No matter what you went through or are going through as we begin to emerge from the lockdowns and isolation each and everyone of us is stronger in some way from that experience. I look back on many aspects of my life and realize that I am way stronger than I give myself credit for. If you look back on your life I am sure there are aspects that you will find that you can, with 100 percent certainty, know that you are stronger for that experience. For example, when my daughter was two, I went through a divorce while teaching full-time and completing a master's degree. When I look back now I have no clue how I made it through that time, but I know that I did. I am also very grateful for that experience because I know that it made me stronger. Now, whenever I am struggling with something, I make a joke saying, “I survived completing my masters while working full time with a toddler in the middle of a divorce… I can achieve anything I put my mind to.” Even with surviving and thriving through that, I still find that life has its ebbs and flows. There are times when I am very motivated to achieve my goals and take the next steps towards what I want to achieve and there are times when I feel at a loss and really unproductive and don’t know which way to go next. When these situations arise it is important to be gentle with yourself. I know for me, that the pandemic really took a toll on my mental health and my drive to achieve my goals around my writing and illustrating books. It almost felt like a time of nesting and rest was needed and I feel as though my goals sat on the back burner. Now as we emerge from what felt like a time in limbo, there seems to be a new sense of drive and hope. If you also felt like the last year and a half was like living in a groundhog day and life was not really flowing the way you had hoped, know that you made it through and you truly are stronger than you think. With this newfound strength maybe it is time to step up and start taking action towards whatever goal you have personal, relational or professional. Strength comes from within. You always have a choice in any situation. If you are feeling stuck find that inner strength to take the first step. Don’t let fear of the unknown hold you back. Trust in your strength and begin to daily take steps towards what you want to achieve and believe me in five years you will look back in awe at how far you have come. Follow Amanda on Facebook, Instagram, and visit her website for more info! Read more from Amanda! Amanda Cottrell, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Believe! Create! Inspire! Amanda Marie Cottrell is a woman who wears many hats with a BA in Political Science, B.Ed in elementary education, M.Ed specializing in creativity and technology, Reiki master, yoga for young children instructor, artist, mom, author, illustrator, and teacher. She also runs an arts-based business teaching art and mindfulness workshops. As an educator of young children for over 14 years, Amanda’s passion is education and creativity. She believes that everyone has creative capacities. Her mission is to empower people by tapping into their unique creative gifts through connection and mindfulness. Namaste!

Written by: Jarod Anderson, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Have you ever reached the point where you just wanted to leave your 9-to-5? Maybe it is to escape a toxic work environment, make more money, free up more time, or engage in something more purposeful and fulfilling. Whatever the motivation, it is a big decision and one you should not take lightly. I should know because I am smack dab in the middle of such a transition right now as I write this. Choosing to leave my 9-to-5 was a matter of regaining control of my time and money, and pursuing financial independence from my 9-to-5. Don't get me wrong, the pay was good, but I knew it would never provide true freedom where my time and money were concerned. Hence, I had a decision to make. I could play it safe and remain on the same level, or I could take a calculated plunge into the unknown in search of something greater. I chose the latter. Are you considering taking a similar plunge but don't know where to start? If so, this article is just for you. Here are 7 "reality checks" that can help you "think through" such a transition and give you the confidence to do what feels right for you. Ready? Let's begin 1. The Reality of Present Circumstances One of the main things that helped me decide to leave my 9-to-5 was my acknowledgment of my frustrations with the present. I was tired of getting paid once a month and trying to limit my entire life to the confines of a fixed salary. How do you feel about the current conditions around your work, time, and money? If they stayed the same for the next ten years, would you be okay with that? Are you in a toxic work environment? Do you feel fulfilled in what you are doing? Do you dread getting up on Monday morning? Whatever the answer, be honest with yourself regarding any frustrations about the present. Make a list of these items, and then write 1 -2 small action steps you can take to bring about a small yet impactful change. It could be something as small as making a decision or shifting your perspective. The important thing is to be honest, and commit to taking action to move the needle forward. 2. The Reality of the Fear of the Unknown "What happens if things don't work out?" The fear of the unknown is one of the biggest obstacles to leaving a job. I know this was the case for me. I was consumed with the thought that things may not work out as planned and I would look like a fool. Let's be honest--that's a scary thought. But what you must realize is that this is your faulty projection of the future based on fear. Just as sure as you can imagine things not working out, you can imagine them working out. All I know is that we tend to get out of life what we believe, not what we want. If that thought is your dominating belief, stay put because you may attract that very outcome. The key is to create a picture of things working out and then develop a plan. See things working out in your favor. Rather than worry about tomorrow, focus on what you can do to make a positive change today. I want you to get a journal and take the time to script out your new ideal future. Don't worry about how; just create the picture and write it out. 3. The Reality of Failing One of my favorite quotes by Michael Jordan is: "I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I've been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." Understand that failure is not final. It is only feedback to be used to tell you what you can do better next time. Where leaving my job was concerned, I made peace within my telling myself that my biggest disappointment would not come from failure, but instead never having tried. I am sure you have failed at something before, and guess what? You lived! Embrace the truth that failing by no means makes you a failure. It just simply means there is likely a better way you have yet to discover. What I found is that what looks like failure can simply be a lack of planning. Make a list of what you would consider failure where transitioning from your 9-to-5 is concerned, and then create a plan of things you can do today to minimize those things from happing. Not as scary anymore, is it? 4. The Reality of the Fuel of Finances Out of the seven realities, the need for money is probably the one that runs deepest. Many of our frustrations with the present and fears about the future could be alleviated if we had more income. Let's be honest; we need finances to function in almost every aspect of our lives. The problem is, we depend on one stream of income (our jobs), which makes us dependent on this source. So even if your 9-to-5 is in a toxic work environment, doesn't pay enough, or adversely impacts your health, it's hard to leave because that's your only source of income. That's why I always encourage my clients to establish multiple income streams. Your life expands too greatly and frequently to be maintained by one source of income. Think of it like this, the bigger your vehicle, the more fuel it needs to function. The bigger your life, the more finances you will need. Once I realized my paycheck would never provide enough fuel for the size of the lifestyle I desired, I knew I had to find a better way. This strikes at the core of the struggle many face regarding their work, time, and money. Make a list of things you can do to generate some extra streams of income. 5. The Reality of Believing for a Brighter Future You often hear people say, "If I knew then what I know now, I would do things a lot differently." Well, then is long gone, and now is here to stay. So what are you going to do with what you know now? What if you could recreate your future to reflect the inner desires of your heart? The beautiful thing is that YOU CAN! All it requires from you is a shift in perspective, a willingness to change some faulty beliefs, and the courage to make some different choices in life. You have been given the unique ability to choose, create, and change. But, you must first believe. What's possible for you is determined by how you think. Furthermore, your life tends to move in the direction of your dominant thoughts. As Napoleon Hill said, "Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve." What do you believe about yourself and the potential of your future? 6. The Reality of Having to Take a Leap of Faith It's human nature to want to have all of the steps and answers mapped out before moving forward, but that's not how life works. Often, you have to "step out on faith" without fully knowing "how: everything will work out, but knowing they will. I'm not saying to skip planning and preparing, but sometimes you have to advance based on an inner belief and conviction with no outward evidence. As you ponder over your next move, ask yourself, "Is this decision being motivated by fear or faith?" 7. The Reality of Experiencing True Freedom in Life Finally, I want to talk about what this entire article is all about--freedom. Being free from debt, student loans, living paycheck-to-paycheck, exchanging time for money, and from having to work on a job that you can't stand. Imagine what life would be like if you had the time, money, and freedom to live independent of your 9-to-5? Is such an existence possible with your full-time job? Only you can decide that. But whatever you do, promise me you will pursue whatever is in your heart and not settle for less than you desire or deserve. Follow Jarod on his Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin and visit his website to learn more. Jarod Anderson, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Jarod Anderson, also known as "The 9-to-5 Exit $trategist" is a mindset coach and author who challenges and empowers working professionals to live financially independent of their 9-to-5. After getting laid off from his first job, Jarod knew he had couldn't put all his trust in one source of income and would have to script out a different path for his l. Hence, he committed to changing his mindset about work, time, and money so he could break so he would one day be in a position to live life on his own terms. Through his books and course, Jarod empowers others to live more independently of their 9-to-5 by changing their thinking and creating multiple streams of income. Jarod is the author of the book" Five Star Mentality: The MIndset of the Super Achievers," and has recently created his blockbuster course, The Psychology of the Employee Mind: How to Elevate Your Mind, Money, and Finances Beyond the Limitations of Your 9-to-5. To learn more about Jarod, visit his website at www.empoweredwithjarod.com.

Written by: Viloshni Moodley, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Do these all sound like foreign terms? There is lots to be explored in this space to have adult fun, play, create memories and develop a strong bond. Heard of Aphrodite? She was known as the Greek Goddess of love, beauty & sexuality. Aphrodisiacs has its roots in Ancient Greece and comes from the name of Aphrodite. Aphrodisiacs can be termed as a love potion. Usually, it is a source that is used to bring on sexual desire in people in the form of food, alcohol, or drugs. There is no scientifically proven evidence that any food can stimulate human sex organs. Food and sex are known to be two of the greatest pleasures to mankind. I am not surprised that food and the act of eating can stimulate a desire within the body. Five senses that can be used to lure sexual interest Sight, touch, sound, scent & taste are the five senses that can be used to lure sexual interest in an individual with an expected physiological response on the genitals to follow. Visually erotic food can stimulate our most erotic organ, our brain. Foods that resemble certain erogenous zones are referred to as phallic and yonic-shaped foods. Some of these phallic foods are eel, carrots, cucumber, licorice, bananas, etc. Some Yonic food examples are oysters, mango, fig, peaches, kiwi, clams, passion fruit, etc. I am sure you were told ‘'not to play with your food when you were younger'’. This is the opposite of that childhood lesson. You can play a variety of food games from starters to dessert taking you through the stage of desire, foreplay to orgasm. Aphrodisiacs can boost your sex drive and spice up your sex life. This is a list of some of the foods that are aphrodisiacs: Exotic Fruits Pomegranate, Fig, Pineapple, Dates, Quince and Papaya Common Foods Mushrooms, Honey, Potatoes, Onions, Goji Berries, Garlic, Oysters, Liquorice, Fresh Figs, Apples, Asparagus, Carrots, Chocolate, Green and Black Olives, Chilli Peppers, Baby Tomatoes, Bananas, Peaches, Pumpkin Pie or Seeds, Aloe Vera leaves, Cayenne Pepper, Ginger and Coriander. Pheromones are chemicals secreted by the body that act like hormones outside of the body to trigger a response of the other individual. This is a primal form of communication. Hormones work internally and have a direct influence on the behaviour of the individual that responds to the one secreting them. Pheromones in humans maybe present in bodily secretions such as urine, semen, breast milk or vaginal fluids. Potentially saliva, breath, and axillary (armpit) sweat. Some aphrodisiacs have been identified in the form of a scent. Both aroma and scents have a pleasant smell. Aroma refers to herbs, spices & food whilst scent is related to a fragrance. Sexy aromas for men: Cinnamon, popcorn, pumpkin pie & doughnuts Sexy aromas for women: Melon, chocolate, oranges & bread Sexy scents for men: Vanilla, lavender & jasmine Sexy scents for women: Musk, orange blossom & sandalwood Additional scents that have been noted for their aphrodisiacal effects: Saffron, musk, sandalwood and patchouli. Androstadienone is the term for a woman’s natural scent. Men can apparently identify a woman’s horniness or when she is not feeling it through a distinct scent. Androstenone, secreted only by males increases a women’s libido, especially if she is close to the time of ovulation. There is so much to know and find out on this topic and I have shared a ridiculously small area that you can use to heat things up. Loveology University has a full course on Aphrodisiacs that you can take. Start your exploration with food and what works for you, you will never know unless you try. What an incredible adventure to embark on cooking with passion & creativity, creating games to sizzle your relationship. Attitude in anything you do is the important ingredient and can spice up even the smallest effort. A cube of ice can produce sensual and erotic feelings. The ice can be rubbed up and down your partner's spine, behind the ears, down the neck and around the breasts, on the inside of the thighs, and so on. Fresh cream can also be effectively used on different areas of the body and licked off. Hide a dab of honey on your body and allow your lover to find it. Can you come up with a menu suggestion, now that you have some of the foods that are aphrodisiacs? Make it interesting with finger foods that can be easily fed to your partner. In all that you do, just make sure its fun! For more information, follow me on Facebook, Instagram and visit my website! Read more from Viloshni! Viloshni Moodley, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Viloshni Moodley is an accredited Master Sexpert, Relationship & Love Coach practicing as an Online Intimacy Coach. She is the founder and owner of Ultimacy Online, since leaving her over 25 years of management experience within Corporate South Africa. Her passion for empowering individuals with positive sex education and breaking the cycle of negative conditioning has influenced her decision on establishing Ultimacy Online. She believes relationships are the most important factor to overall well-being and thus passionate about making a change to ensure people have more fulfilling relationships. Having a happy, healthy relationship provides balance in individuals and couples. Individuals equipped with sex-positive information diminish the misnomers and shame associated with sex. It provides a basis to make informed decisions for the persons sexual health and promotes safe behaviour. This can contribute to making a difference in the horrific stats we are faced with daily on gender-based violence and sexual health issues. Ultimacy Online was a 2020 Brainz Magazine 500 Honouree. Viloshni has been a recipient of the Great Indian Women Award in the category of an Indian Women Making an Impact for 2021. TEDx Speaker on “The Importance of Intimacy."

Written by: Perri Chase, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Before we begin, I want you to take a moment to notice what your mind did when you saw this headline? Did your mind get excited? Did your mind think that it was gross? What did it feel like in your body? Did you think you don’t have power? Did you demonize power? What do you think about power? Do you think you have less power because someone has more? Or do you have this idea that someone has to give you power? Or maybe you think you need to take power away from someone? Or maybe you think you are too powerful? Let me take a moment to redefine power and change the way you look at this forever. As a culture, we have assigned the term Power to mean “power over,” “domination,” and “force.” But power, at its root, is an energetic resource. It is correct that money is a form of power, because money is an energetic resource. But understanding and mastering energy is every human’s birthright and you don’t need money to do that. How do you do that, then? Here are 9 ways you can reclaim & cultivate power: 1. Have excellent boundaries Ah, boundaries. Those pesky things. We live in a codependent society full of entitlement to people’s time, energy, and attention to such a degree that people who exercise good boundaries are sometimes considered mean or even narcissistic. But don’t let that be a deterrent for lovingly looking out for yourself. Many people violate their boundaries for the sake of looking "nice" or "likable". Boundaries are a set of self-guidelines that assist in keeping us outside the range of regret, resentment, or self abandonment. All boundaries need consequences if they are violated, or they aren’t boundaries. Boundaries do not include controlling other people. They are about exercising sovereignty and self-control. Try these full sentences on for size: "No." "I’m sorry I not available for that." "Thank you but I’m not interested in having this conversation." You will gain so much power from just this one thing you will be shocked. 2. Stop comparing yourself to other people Oof! What a way to spend energy! Your attention is your most powerful asset. Why would you give it away to other people via comparison? When you compare yourself to others it can have a paralyzing effect leaving you stuck in your mind and not moving from the truth of where you are now. Pro tip: Turn that attention back on what you want to create and watch it grow. 3. Stop seeking external validation The world is not your Daddy. You don’t need permission from anyone or anything to do or be anything. That is just your desire to fit in and maintain this idea that you are good and going to belong. This is your Ego trying to make sure it is doing a good job for everyone but the Truth inside you. Shift this internally. What do you feel about something? Is it true for you? Why are you seeking permission? What is the underlying fear? What is the worst thing that would happen if other's didn't approve? If you can release the grip on the need for approval this one you will free up a ton of power. 4. Let go of your goals Give up my goals?? But how will I ever be happy or achieve anything or have that thing I think I want? Goals are always Egoic. What that means is they are validating your identity. Meaning if I do X it will mean Y about me. It is why they are only temporarily satisfying. The Ego gets hungry for a new one right away. Your identity is then propped up by the achievement of the goal and then you need to find another goal in order to keep this cycle going. This is very similar to running on a hamster wheel. Many times we use the force of will to go against the truth of where energy is flowing to hit goals. Think of salmon swimming up river. This takes an enormous amount of energy. Try asking yourself "where is the energy flowing?" Following a deeper current often means taking steps on a staircase where you can only see the next step. You may not always understand it or find it fits your preferences, but if you learn to surf the wave without an agenda you will find yourself with a ton more power. 5. Be grateful Gratitude is an expansion practice. It opens up your container to be able to receive more. Think of it like this, if you are bitter and closed then you are like a closed fist. Even if something arrived you would not be available to take it. When we practice gratitude we extend an open palm signaling we are available to receive. Try a public practice of posting on social media for 30 days something you are grateful for daily and watch more come your way. 6. Cultivate Sexual Fire Yes. This involves your genitals. Sexual practices, like my modality SXBMB™️, a guided solo pussy stroking practice, cultivates power. This – and semen retention practices for those with a cock – is an excellent way to expand your nervous system, excavate buried trauma, and expand one’s container. If you do not have a relationship with your genitals or your body, you will have a hard time acquiring power. When we have our sexual energy repressed or off we will be stuck in our mind. Zero power exists in the mind. 7. Stop using alcohol, drugs, food, porn, video games, scrolling, personal drama or outrage to off-gas or numb Sorry for taking away all your toys and entertainment but numbing and off-gassing is a way we misspend power. Off gassing is when we have extra energy we don’t know what to do with and find it uncomfortable to keep in our bodies so we spend it on poor choices. Numbing is an attempt to push the sensations down into the body to quash them. Both of these are a response to not wanting to feel. The ability to hold sensation and feel it without numbing or dumping is the key to true power. It may take time for you to stop these. And that is ok. Noticing this pattern is the first step. 8. Heal your wounds Easier said than done, I know. However, when we are deeply wounded we create pockets inside of us that need protecting. That kind of protection requires a full time armed guard. Translation? A very expensive employee. Or think of it like powering an electric fence 24/7. The bill will be high! When you heal your wounds, meaning that you go in and FEEL what has been buried, you are able to open and more energy can flow in. This is the same thing as the closed fist/open palm example. Again, this takes time and working with skilled alchemists who know how to guide you at the pace your body can heal without re-traumatization. 9. Focus your energy on creation Putting your attention on pure creation, (one that’s of service to something more than self validation), is the number one way to acquire power. When you serve power, life force, and creation, you are given more. Resources show up so you can continue to serve. In every moment ask yourself: What is this in service to? Something bigger? Or my ego? I understand that this is incredibly simplified and it is something I spend years with students on in my memberships DEVOTION & HOLDER, but you can make changes today just from this small list that will impact your life. Energetic Mastery is a worthy practice as it aligns you with the Universal Law and doors and windows start opening all over the place. It is the foundation to everything I teach. If this calls you to learn more, please visit HouseofFire.com or follow me on Instagram and Facebook. Perri Chase, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Perri is a Mama, Wife, Woman, Channel, Teacher, and Practitioner of deep devotion to the Feminine. She lives a life in service to the deepest truth, as an energy, in all things and beings. She believes that our total and truest full expression is our soul’s purpose. She teaches pathways in life, relationships, expression, sacred medicine and business that all center the frequency of Feminine Truth, including her Foundations in Energetic Mastery path, DEVOTION. She created the sexual embodiment modality SXBMB™️ and the unique business pathway Magic Led Business™️.

Written by: Prue Sulicich, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. This is for all the mums and wives who want it all. You can take the woman out of the home, but you can’t take the homemaker out of the woman. I am a wife, mum and have a house to run. Therefore, I am a homemaker. Yes, that is an old-fashioned term, but one that I have decided to look at from a different perspective. And why can’t I embrace it? What is so bad about wanting to be a homemaker as well as an entrepreneur? Why do we have to choose? As a child, I was always maternal and nurturing. I dreamed about having children, creating a loving home, and looking after them with home-cooked meals, quality time, and old-fashioned values. As I grew and this became a reality, I wanted more. I wanted to be in business. And I have decided it does not need to be an either/or situation. We can have it all! We can be a loving wife, mother and be amazing, successful business women. I plan to do just that, and also help other women do the same. Starting a business was what I imagined as the perfect balance between wife, mum and success. Juggling time and energy came with the role, yet I loved it. But, for some reason guilt kept surfacing. As did doubt and imposter syndrome. So what kept me from fully embracing my choices? Because it was my choice. My choice to have kids. My choice to stay home and take on the homemaker role, my choice to start a business. MY CHOICE. Then why did guilt and doubt keep surfacing? It’s simple. Outdated beliefs. Yep, those pesky thoughts we believe to be true, but are actually not! It’s because they have been so well-practiced, they come easily and readily! You can always count on them to slide in when you are about to do something hard, or new, or when things are falling apart in the moment. Here are the Top 3 beliefs that keep us feeling we are failing at it all, when really, what is happening is we are living our dreams! ONE: Being a homemaker is unworthy. You may think you are not contributing financially, therefore are not equal. You may think others do not see the value in your work. Plus, you hear the term housewife and we imagine the 1950’s. No choice but to be a housewife. No equality. Undervalued. No say. This, my friends, is now not true. The path laid by our forewomen has given us our independence. To be truly equal in my eyes is to have the choice to do what we want as individuals. We are there. We have the choice. I don’t spend my days in an apron and headscarf jumping to every whim or need of my family; what I do is keep the place going to a standard I am happy with, that keeps me in a place of mentally being satisfied. I am fulfilling my role to my own standard and doing what makes me happy in my own life. TWO: We can’t have it all. We can’t be a good Mum and a good business woman. This thought is very common. But so is the scenario of women having it all. It was not long ago in our history that women did not have a choice. Of course, we are going to think this. But it also stems from expectation. We hold ourselves to such high expectations that we are bound to fail. THREE: You can’t outearn your husband/partner if they work a job and have a career. WOW! This is my own personal favourite. Of course I am going to stay small and play safe if I believe this. This thought is just a flow-on from the first two and no wonder, right? But it is simply not true! Of course, it is possible to outearn our spouses. So now what? We have discovered it’s our beliefs holding us back; what do we do with them? This is my favourite part. Awareness - write down everything that you think that is keeping you feeling terrible. Then stay in awareness by doing this exercise daily. Decide - to not think the old thought anymore. I love saying out loud, “I see you old thoughts, thanks for popping in, but I am not thinking of you anymore.” Call it out! Tweak it. Find a new sentence that you can counter the old thought with in the moment. For example; Being a homemaker is unworthy. To tweak it say; “I am being and doing what I want to please me and my family.” Then rinse and repeat. The road to this realization and perspective was long and bumpy. It has taken me years to realize that it is OK to choose the role of homemaker and entrepreneur and validate myself. I don't need anyone else to validate my worthiness. I know this is true for many women who are entrepreneurs but also mothers and wives. Don’t dull down your aspirations to be the best housewife, mum, or wife ever just because you want to be an awesome business woman. Do it all! Be it all! It is possible. Want to know more from Prue? Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin and visit her website. Prue Sulicich, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Prue Sulicich is passionate about offering women the opportunity to know themselves so well, nothing can stand in their way to reach their dreams. Prue identified as a dreamer, but was held back by the belief that women are mothers and wives first. Prue was nervous, shy and someone who never liked to be in the spotlight. Over the last decade, Prue started successful businesses but never took them beyond being a "hobby" because of this belief, even though deep down, aspired for more. After coming out the other side of a major family crisis, Prue was able to hold strong and took her own self-development to the next level. Completing a Life Coaching certification honed her newly found passion to a skill, Prue then founded her business, Head Coach, and is now offering help to women similar to herself, achieve their dreams, be it, weight loss, self-love or anything in between. Prue has big goals in this space and is determined to use her own transformation as an example to other women struggling with self-belief or lost identity by taking small steps to make big changes.

Written by: Cheryl Gray Hines, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Integrity is congruency and consistency between your words and your actions. It is honoring your agreements and the values you profess to hold true. It is having conversations to address issues and completing what you have committed to do. It is not letting your values be become tainted out of fear of rejection, potential conflict, or short-term gain. Having integrity means taking responsibility not just for the good things but when you screw up as well. It is recognizing that where you have fallen short of what you have committed to with yourself, in your interactions with others as well as professional responsibilities and pursuits in the past, present and making it right going forward. It means acknowledging that the direction, actions, or commitments you believed were the best that may not have been. Whether you are the CEO, executive, D&I or HR leader or a rising star in middle management, an attribute of an effective and respected leader is being honest and leading others with integrity. In the Leadership Challenge, 6th edition by James Kouzes and Barry Posner data was collected from over 100,000 over 30 years and 87% identified honesty as one of the most admired characteristics of a leader. People across all types of industries and organizations want leaders who they can trust because of their integrity. Integrity is about more than glaring examples of personal or professional misconduct and large organization catastrophes. Everyday integrity matters in how you show up, interact with others and how we manage the systems/processes within our organizations or social structure. It is your everyday actions that support what you say and either demonstrate or diminish your integrity. Everyone has times when they fall short in integrity like not following up as promised, setting a personal or professional goal and not doing all you can to reach it, or committing to something you don’t have the capacity or resources to accomplish. One thing to recognize about integrity is that you will never have 100% integrity. There will undoubtedly be promises broken, commitments made that were not fully considered that you cannot keep, areas where you do not follow through, false statements made in the name of expediency or without sufficient understanding or information which compromise your integrity. That is when you must go into restoration mode to restore your integrity. Restoration mode may be in the form of an apology or acknowledgement that you were wrong, which can be a blow to the ego you are safeguarding. It may require listening to or even seeking out other perspectives because your approach quite frankly is self-serving and is not contributing to what you said you wanted to accomplish. It may require a reassessment of what you have the capability or capacity to do. Restoration of your integrity may be acknowledging that you cannot handle everything on your own and need the assistance of others. The good news is you can restore your integrity!!! To restore integrity, you must communicate it to the appropriate person(s), as soon as you realize you’ve blown it with a commitment, when know you are not going to do what you said or recognize you are unable to do what others expect of you. It means communicating without getting into reasons or excuses, acknowledging the impact of not keeping your word, and making a new promise, which you then keep. Let’s look at an example of in the workplace that diminishes your integrity and then steps to restore your integrity. There is a new project that you have been procrastinating on doing. You have had it on your priority list for weeks to complete the first phase. You have set time aside to focus on it, yet it keeps slipping off your schedule because you can do it tomorrow and there are more pressing items that take its place. Some of areas of preparation could be delegated but that will take time to explain you say you don’t have. You have let yourself become distracted whenever you get started telling yourself you don’t have enough information to start, you need to get more perspectives, you need more time to really go in depth, you just have too much on your plate and continually push it off your schedule. Tomorrow you have a meeting where you are supposed to talk about project however you are not prepared and have to reschedule the discussion. The delay will now impact other people being able to make decisions and act. So you affected your workability and created feelings of inadequacy. So how do you restore your integrity now? Here are five steps to restore your integrity: 1. Give up the story. Story is the fabrication that you create in your mind because of an absence of information or to create a scenario that better serves you. Story is all excuses you made up like: you can do it tomorrow, it will take time to explain if you delegate, not enough information to get started, need more time to start. Story operates in the past to address the reasons why. So now when you are restoring your integrity you are in the present, where there is nothing. Just being aware that the story is in the past and now there is nothing. By creating a clear, still space, you can look and see what is there, look at the stress in the story that you made of the past. You can look at what is in front of you, without the filters of fear or regret, of resentment, blame, or shame, or guilt from the past, or fear, anxiety or worry about the future. This will complete the first step towards restoring integrity. 2. Acknowledge your broken promise/word. Next, you have to acknowledge that you have broken the promise which you made. In this case the promise of completing the first phase of a project and that impacts the work of others. You have to accept the fact, responsibility for your actions and apologize. 3. Clean up the consequences of the break. This is the most important step. You have to clean up the consequences by acknowledging the impact of breaking your word. In this case your impact on the ability of others to make decisions and act on work connected with the project. 4. Make a new promise. Make a new promise and ensure that you keep the promise and restore your integrity by ensuring that you are prepared for the next meeting and subsequent meetings in the future. 5. Ensuring that you keep the promise next time. To enable that, you need to put a structure in place by analyzing what went wrong. In this case, allocating time that you dedicate to doing what you can, getting assistance where needed and thinking of the consequences or impact of breaking my promise. Drop the excuses and instead think of the benefits which will give you power to focus and finish as well as access to workability. Remember, "Integrity means workability!" Integrity in the workplace requires individuals at all levels to establish and maintain a culture of honesty, transparency, equity, respect, trust, accountability and adjusting based on the situation and impact on the people it serves internally and externally. Integrity is the foundation of a successful organization because it preserves the reputation and respectability of the leaders and the company. Follow Cheryl on Instagram, Facebook, Linkedin and visit her website. Cheryl Gray Hines, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Cheryl Gray Hines is an accomplished entrepreneur, executive coach, and mentor with a mission to support women to live authentically and be their best. Her deep expertise in leadership, organizational development, and business strategy has equipped her to coach executives and leaders through the most challenging transitions. As founder of C. Gray & Associates, she teaches Fortune 100 corporations, federal agencies, and high-net-worth entrepreneurs that leadership integrity is the foundation of stellar business performance.

Written by: Kelly Hater, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. What is “Mom Guilt?” Mom guilt is the nagging feeling that we as moms are not fulfilling the expectations of motherhood projected upon us by modern society. Mom guilt, like other types of guilt, is an emotional feeling that requires self-reflection about something we did, or think we did, that was wrong or harmful. Feeling guilty when we did something wrong or hurt someone is normal. Oftentimes though, moms feel guilt that is out of proportion to our actual situation, and it can linger, causing harm to our parenting foundation, our mindset and overall feeling of value and self-worth. This false, excessive guilt is invasive and whether we know it, guilt is making decisions in our life that sabotage our ability to achieve self-actualization as a mother. “Modern women are burdened with more expectations than any generation has ever had, brought on by the greatest breakthrough of opportunities any generation has ever experienced. Guilt is not going away. It’s getting stronger than ever before.” – Valerie Burton “Let Go of the Guilt Stop Beating Yourself Up and Take Back Your Joy:” Mom guilt rears its ugly face when we: Compare ourselves to other moms, parents and caregivers Ruminate over our decisions (past, present, future) Say yes when we should say no Lack of self-confidence Let people encroach our boundaries Get guilt tripped into doing things we don’t want to do Engage in toxic relationships that cause stress, resentment, and recurrent disappointment Our well-being is out of proportion Feel like we could have done more or have not done enough all the time Do not celebrate our success to accommodate other people's feelings Do not voice our personal values and beliefs even when we want to What Does Mom Guilt Look Like and Why Does it Happen? Mom guilt can come in many forms, as many forms as there are ways to parent our children. However, a common form of mom guilt does not look like anything...it is an internal feeling of failure. We have all been there. Scrolling through our social media platform of choice and noticing that it seems as though all our friends are leading their best lives and doing everything way better than we are. If we are even doing anything at all. The mom guilt sets in quickly and it cuts deep. We look up from our phone and see our children sitting in front of the tv, because it is raining outside and there is no end in sight. We look back at our phone and see that the post that got to us is not even current, it is from the past, and someone just threw it up there. Most likely because they and their children are doing the same exact thing we are doing. But it does not matter. The mom guilt is already there and it does not shake that easily. Now we will carry this guilt around with us for the rest of the day and it will influence the rest of our parenting decisions. Am I a bad mom? Lazy? Are my kids going to grow up disadvantaged? Am I a good enough role model? When we ask ourselves these questions, where does the mind go? Mom guilt or non-guilt? Non-Guilty Mindset: The questions are merely a mental check-in to make sure we and our kids are on the path we have set out on and that we are completing the tasks we want to get done to live a fulfilling life. Guilty Mindset: These questions seem to mean more. They would make us feel as if we are “failing” as a mom. Bring tears to our eyes. Why? Are our children really going to suffer life-long consequences from watching a movie? Most likely not...but our mind begins to race. We start to panic that we are not living up to the “mom life” expectations we have ingrained in our minds. At this moment we must go deep within, not wide. As we need to regroup our well-being and lifestyle. What are the effects of mom guilt? Moms can spend an enormous amount of emotional energy feeling guilty. It sends us into a downward spiral of negativity and unhappiness. Living in a negative state of mind about ourselves, eating away at mental and physical well-being. Career Sacrifices Moms who work outside the home often feel guilt, some refer to as “working mom guilt” because it is experienced by a group of women who go to work by choice or by necessity; therefore, spend less time at home raising their children. Working moms feel guilty because they feel like the amount of time, they spend with their children is equivalent to the amount of love they feel towards the child. My dear friend told me, “I’ll never forget the feelings of guilt at daycare drop off every morning. I used to make my husband go completely out of his way to drop off our kids at their daycare just so I would not cry that day. I felt like leaving my kids in the care of another adult somehow meant that I was incapable of caring for them myself and that they were in some way being harmed by me and my disconcert for their health and well-being. Looking back on it my thoughts were totally irrational, but they never ever went away until eventually I quit my job.” Working moms can also feel guilt from preferring to be at work and not at home with their child. In this case the inner voice berates and nags at us all throughout the workday by saying “What kind of mom does not want to be with their kids every day? An unloving, uncaring mom. You obviously don’t care about your kids because you enjoy working and the intellectual stimulation.” Stay-at-home-mom Guilt Stay-at-home-moms feel guilty as well. As most stay-at-home-moms are not making an income; therefore, relying on their spouse financially can cause guilt, shame, or even embarrassment. As our responsibilities are in the home we are focusing on cleaning, organizing, meals, etc. The homestead duties are never ending. Even as we are home with our children, we still spend little undivided time with them. A common whirlwind of mom guilt. Anxiety and Depression Whenever the feelings of mom guilt are excessive and begin to interfere with the mom’s life and relationships it could be a symptom of other more serious mental health conditions such as anxiety disorders, postpartum depression, and compromised immune systems. If mom guilt is excessive, it is suggested to seek professional help from a medical healthcare provider for a diagnosis. Solution to the Gap When a mom is stable with a mental health condition and/or cleared from any conditions. Now what? Because we are still struggling with the complexities of motherhood. This is where The Mom Coach™ “on demand” comes into play. As a survivor of postpartum depression, losing my dad to suicide, a wellness coach and personal trainer for over 15 years. There was a gap before this program was created that needed to educate and challenge moms to build confidence in the complexities of motherhood from season to season. Way too many of us put band-aids on issues that need to be addressed on a deeper level. We need to stop trying to fill the void and get to the bottom where the actual issue sits. When we feel that issue screaming at us. We need to stop turning our backs. When we feel that grumbling inside, stand up and look straight at it with open eyes, open arms, and an open heart. How To “Deal” With Mom Guilt First off, stop “dealing” with the guilt and go deep. We need to go deep with our awareness: Overcoming mom guilt is possible with shifting to a positive mindset. Positive self-talk turning “can’t” into “can” and the “should” into “must” Clarify life purpose reflecting on values, talents, passion, and skills Learn and apply how wellness affects everything in our lives Review the circle of control, circle of influence, and circle of concern Set forth into the growth zone Assert our dream into a stretch goal Use several SMART goals to support the vision You can be everything you are! Thriving Mom Even though our mom's guilt seems to only affect us, it permeates every decision we make. Mom guilt can be a useful tool to inspire us to try new things and flex our mom muscles to get things done. When mom guilt becomes excessive and suffocating though, we need to seek help from others around us who will cheer us on in motherhood. Join the proven course subscription filled with support, education, journal worksheets, and challenges designed exclusively for moms everywhere. Children do not need a perfect mom, they need their confident, patient, and loving mom. It is important to not let mom guilt determine our worth as mothers. Mom guilt is just a feeling and feelings, although intense at times, are temporary. Moms have the ability to manage feelings in a positive way that builds emotional resilience. Realizing that we cannot be everything to everyone all the time will release us from our fears and catapult up into self-growth. Despite our shortcomings, we will be a hero in our children’s eyes as they blossom into adulthood. If we know our own limits and can enforce our limits, we will have the opportunity to embrace happiness that unfolds because of letting go of our mom guilt. Follow Kelly on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Pinterest and visit her website. Read more from Kelly! Kelly Hater, Executive Contributor, Brainz Magazine Kelly Hater, the owner of Mama Bear Domain, has over 15 years of coaching experience and a B.S. in Health Promotion specialized in Exercise Science. She specializes in helping clients overcome mom burnout, providing a clear, decisive plan that leads her clients on a path of success. Her clients no longer let mom guilt steal their identity and goals. Moms deserve to be happy and live a fulfilling life. She personally has overcome overwhelming struggles herself. Get the accountability needed to take action. As a mom of two, she gets it.