Written by Mark Proctor, Leadership and Success Advisor Mark Proctor is a success advisor, leadership coach, and former elite military leader with over 30 years’ experience developing high-performing teams worldwide. He empowers leaders to build courage, clarity, and lasting impact through values-driven action. I want to talk to you directly for a moment, not to leaders in general, not to the concept of leadership, but to you, the person reading this, probably between two other things, with a meeting queued up and a screen that has not gone dark in hours. Before you move to the next paragraph, I want to ask you one question. When did you last truly listen to someone? Not hear them, not wait for them to finish so you could respond, but listen. The kind where you set everything else down, turn the volume off inside your own head, and give someone the only thing that is genuinely yours to give ,your full, undivided attention. If it takes you a moment to remember, that tells you something important. What I was told about myself I have been told, more times than I can count, that one of my strengths is listening, that people feel heard in my company, and that I show I care about their story and their subject, regardless of who they are or what title they carry. I do not share this to make a claim. I share it because it took me a long time to understand why it mattered. The nineteen-year-old with a problem they can barely put into words, and the chief executive holding something they have never said out loud, carry the same human need, to be heard, to feel that what they are saying lands somewhere, that it counts, that they count. Every human does, no matter their age, position, or status. When I listen, really listen, I am not just gathering information. I am telling someone that they are worth my full attention, that their experience, their concern, their hesitation, their hope matters to me, not as data, but as them. That is not a soft leadership principle, but rather a foundation of trust. What listening is not Let me be direct about what most of us are doing when we think we are listening. We are waiting, planning our response, deciding whether we agree, half-processing what is said while the other half is already somewhere else, whether that is the email we did not reply to, the call after this one, or the question we should have answered yesterday. We nod, we make the sounds, and the person in front of us feels it. They do not always know what to call it, but they feel it, the sense that their words are landing in an empty room. Over time, that feeling does something quiet and destructive. It chips away at trust. People stop bringing you the real things. They give you the edited version, the safe version, the one they think you want to hear, and you lose the thing you most need, the truth of what is actually happening in your team. Think of it like a tree. If you only water it occasionally, or half-heartedly, it survives but rarely thrives. Roots stay shallow, branches stay narrow, and the fruit, when it comes, is thin. Listening is the same. Neglect it, and connection stunts, tend it with care, and what grows between you and the people you lead goes deeper than you expect. What is not said The part that took me the longest to learn is that the most important thing in a conversation is often not what is said. It is the pause or check before the answer, the word chosen to avoid a different word, the sentence that stops just before it would have become too honest, the question that never quite gets asked, or the person who says “I’m fine,” with their eyes and body saying something else entirely. Active listening is not just about receiving words. It is about reading the space around them, the hesitation, the change in tone, the thing someone circles three times but never quite says, the thing. If you are only listening to what is said, you are listening to the edited version. The room is always telling you more than the words. The question is whether you are present enough to hear it. The technique that changes everything I am not a fan of leadership formulas, but there is one thing I have practised for years that I will share with you, because it is simple and it works. When someone finishes speaking, wait two or three seconds, no more. Do not rush to fill the silence. Let it sit. What happens in those seconds is remarkable. The person in front of you often finds the real thing they wanted to say, the sentence they had not quite got to, the admission underneath the headline, the actual question they were building toward. In those same seconds, you also have time to actually process what was said, rather than react to it. That strategic patience costs you nothing. What it gives you, however, is often everything. Why listening underpins everything Leadership is often discussed in terms of strategy, vision, decisions, and culture, the big calls, the ambitious targets, the principles a leader stands for. But all of it depends on something very simple, and something that has to come first, before the strategy is set or the decision gets made, before the culture is claimed to exist. If you cannot hear what is actually happening in your team, your most important calls are built on incomplete information. If the people around you have learned that the truth does not land with you, they stop offering it. You get the edited version, the safe version, the one designed to satisfy rather than inform. Listening is not a soft skill. It is leadership infrastructure. Without it, belonging is performance, foresight is guesswork, and integrity goes untested. With it, you are building on something real. Three questions worth asking Be patient with these. They are not designed to make you feel good. They are designed to make you honest. Who in your team has not had your real attention recently, not your presence, but your attention? What has someone been trying to tell you that you have not quite heard? Where is silence in your team telling you something the words are not? If those questions sting a little, you are paying attention. What you can do today One conversation, that is all. Before it starts, put your phone face down, not to the side, face down, or better still, do not have it at all. Close the laptop. Give them the whole space. When they finish speaking, wait two to three seconds before you respond. Just wait and see what comes. At the end, ask one question you would not normally ask, "Is there anything you wanted to say that you did not quite get to?" Then listen to the answer. Where to go next Listening without thinking is just noise received. In the next article, I want to turn to what happens after you have truly heard the room, the discipline of reflection, and why most leaders skip it at exactly the moment it matters most. If any of this has stirred something, and you would like to talk it through, I would welcome a no-obligation conversation here. You can also find more of my work here. “The room is already telling you the truth. The question is whether you are quiet enough to hear it.” Listening is not waiting to speak. It is giving someone your full, undivided attention. Every human, regardless of age, position, or status, deserves to feel heard. What is not said is often more important than what is. Pause for two to three seconds after someone finishes speaking. Then ask what they did not quite get to. Without active listening, leadership is built on assumptions rather than truth. The room is always telling you the truth. The question is whether you are present enough to hear it. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Mark Proctor Mark Proctor, Leadership and Success Advisor Mark Proctor is an internationally recognized success advisor and leadership coach with more than three decades of elite military leadership experience. He specialises in helping leaders overcome self-doubt, elevate their confidence, and translate values into measurable action. After a distinguished global career, Mark founded Green and Scarlet Leadership to develop courageous, principled, and high-impact leaders. His work blends strategic insight with deep human understanding, empowering clients to think to the finish, act with purpose, and unlock their full potential. Mark’s mission is simple: build confident leaders who change their world for the better.

You run the staining, and the signal looks strong. But something feels off. The pattern is not what you expected, and the replicates don’t quite match. At this point, you’re not sure whether the issue is biological or technical. If you’ve worked with the CALB2 antibody, this situation is familiar. You are not alone. Many researchers run into the same problems, especially when results look “almost right” but are not fully convincing. Why does CALB2 staining look correct, but still feel unreliable? In most cases, this comes down to “specificity”. CALB2 belongs to a family of calcium-binding proteins, and some share similar epitopes. This increases the risk of cross-reactivity, especially with proteins like calbindin. The result is subtle. You may see stronger-than-expected staining or slightly unusual localization. The controls don’t completely fail, but they don’t fully confirm the result either. To address this, validation needs to come first. Check whether the antibody has knockout or knockdown validation. Always include a secondary-only control. If possible, test a second antibody clone to confirm the staining pattern. Consistency across antibodies increases confidence significantly. Why do results change between experiments? This is where consistency becomes the issue. One experiment works well, but the next produces different results even after using the same protocol. In most cases, the problem is not dramatic. It’s the small variations that affect the overall performance, such as: Antibody batch differences Little changes in incubation time Repeated freeze-thaw cycles The solution is simple, but you need to be consistent. Try these simple steps to keep your CALB2 results reliable Split antibodies into small portions to keep them stable. Note the exact incubation times instead of estimating. Use the same validated antibody batch whenever possible. Why does the signal sometimes disappear or look weak? Now you’re in the realm of “sensitivity” and “optimization”. CALB2 expression is not uniform. Some tissues have high levels, while others have low. Sample preparation plays a big role, too. Over-fixation can mask epitopes. Under-retrieval can leave them hidden. Even when CALB2 is present, you might not see it. What can help improve weak or missing CALB2 signals? Try different buffers or pH levels by changing the way you prepare the sample Test weaker or stronger dilutions to see what gives the best signal. Experiment with shorter or longer incubation to improve visibility. Avoid changing everything at once. Only tweak one variable at a time so you know what actually works. Why does CALB2 work in IHC but fail in western blot? Many researchers get stuck here. The key is “application compatibility”. Proteins are in different forms depending on the technique: IHC preserves proteins in native or semi-native form Western blot denatures proteins Some antibodies only recognize one form. It’s not your technique; it’s biology. Check: Has the antibody been validated for your specific method? Are there published references using it in the same way? Why does CALB2 staining vary across tissues? CALB2 isn’t just a simple marker; it behaves differently depending on the biological context. In neurons, for example, staining is usually strong and clear. In other tissues, such as tumors (mesothelioma), expression can be much more variable. What may appear as inconsistent results is often just the biology of the tissue itself. To make sense of this variability, it’s important to include proper controls in your experiments. Use a known positive tissue to confirm that the antibody can detect CALB2 when it is present, and a known negative tissue to show that any staining you see is specific. Simple things you can do to keep your CALB2 results reliable Double-check antibody specificity before trusting the signal. To improve your signal, try to change your sample prep, antibody strength, or incubation time. If you want consistent results, split your antibodies into small portions and stick with one batch.

Written by Saaid Radwan, Behavior Analyst and Family Consultant Saaid Radwan is a Behavior Analyst, Neurodiversity and Family Consultant, and CPD Certified Trainer with 20+ years of international experience across the UAE, MENA, Europe, and Central Asia. He specializes in ABA, communication support, emotional regulation, and family-centered care, advocating inclusive, lifelong development. May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and this year I wanted to do something different. Instead of speaking about teenagers, I asked one to speak for herself. Parthnia, my co-author, is 14 years old. She has moved schools multiple times, navigated family changes, and learned to read rooms before most children learn to read chapter books. What follows is not a case study, it is a voice. One that deserves to be heard, not because it is unusual, but because it is far more common than we admit. The many layers we wear "Mental health affects everyone differently, depending on their age and their experiences. Even the way they respond to specific situations, everyone reacts differently to certain things." For me, it started early. It caused me to build different layers of personality depending on who was around. I became someone who could shift and adapt to whatever room I walked into. It sounds like a skill, and maybe it is. But when you're 14 and you've already forgotten which layer is the real one, it feels more like survival than strength. The brain and the fear that never leaves "The fear of being judged never fully leaves. Whether it's about your looks or your personality, the words you use, the way people perceive you, the fear of judgment never leaves you." It becomes automatic. You develop habits you don't even notice, checking what you're doing, if someone laughs behind you, trying to blend into the crowd as much as possible because you don't want to be the center of attention. People always notice what you're doing and what you're saying. At least, that's what your brain tells you. Everyone reacts differently. Not everyone wants to hide their emotions or build walls. Some people do the opposite, they crowd, they perform, they try to fit in with specific people. Some people just hide everything they think to themselves. There's no single way to carry it. The cost of reading every room "For me, I always had to plan every move and every word before I said it. It helped me grow my emotional intelligence a lot, which honestly helped me in so many things and in so many situations." This is the part people praise. Adults call you "mature for your age." Teachers say you're "wise beyond your years." They're not wrong, you do notice every detail. You see people's reactions to things others miss. You always know the right advice to give, what they want to hear, how to guide them through the right path. But they don't see the cost. "It can also impact you negatively because you give everyone an excuse for treating you badly. Because you think of everything that goes on in their head, you put yourself in their shoes, it’s almost hard to fit back into yours." You focus on everyone's life and overthink every word you say to them. Even the people you're most comfortable with. Something small happens, and it repeats in your head for hours. You think about every next move and how it affected others, even if they affected you more. You always know how to say the right thing, which honestly can make you feel different. Because not everyone thinks the same way you do. Sometimes it feels like no one will ever understand you the way you understand them. The loneliness of being the problem solver "When you try to open up to people, you wish they could comfort you the same way you comfort them. It's extremely lonely." You never want anyone to feel the same way you did in their situation. So, you become the problem solver in everyone's life. You never allowed yourself to make a simple mistake, which sounds good, but it means you never gave yourself the chance to just be normal, to be a kid. It caused me to have more stress than I should have. It feels like you're constantly fighting with your own mind. You stop trusting people the same way because you don't want them to have a chance to hurt you again. You apologize just to keep the peace, even for things that weren't your fault. You start believing love has to be earned instead of deserved. Sometimes we hide our feelings so well that we even stop feeling them. Stop recognizing them. We stop noticing them. Silence feels safer because speaking about my feelings never seemed to make things better. Independence by default "I became independent because I felt like I had to handle everything myself. Maybe I was just scared to do small things like order food or be in social situations or talk to people or be judged, but I learned to carry everything else alone because I felt like no one would worry about me the way I worry about others." It can be really upsetting. Lonely sometimes. What I'm learning "Everyone finds their own battles, which is why it's important to have a healthy mindset, take time to heal and learn to love yourself. It's okay to ask for help and there's nothing shameful about it." Don't let people control your thoughts, opinions or decisions. Set goals for yourself and do everything you can to achieve them. Even if the goal is something as simple as learning to say no, or asking a question in class, or just getting out of your comfort zone and the things you're used to. "It's okay if not everyone likes you. It may not feel like that, but you need to understand that even if you may not notice it, there's always going to be someone who's not going to like you and it's okay." You need to love yourself so you can accept that. Having a few friends is better than surrounding yourself with people who constantly make you feel like you're not enough, or misunderstood, or like you don't belong. As a behaviour analyst with nearly three decades of experience, I can tell you that what this young woman describes is not rare and it is certainly nothing to be ashamed of. The emotional intelligence she developed is not a flaw, it is a genuine strength, one that will serve her throughout her life. The ability to read a room, to sense what others need, to guide people through difficulty, these are remarkable capacities that many adults never fully develop. What she is experiencing is not "bad" or broken. It is what happens when a sensitive, aware mind learns to protect itself in a demanding world. The hypervigilance that travels alongside that intelligence? It is not a weakness, it is simply the other side of the same coin. Like any learned pattern, it can be adjusted with the right support. Here is what I want her and every teenager like her to know: Your emotional intelligence is a gift. Your sensitivity is not something to fix or outgrow. What needs attention is the balance of learning to turn that remarkable awareness toward yourself with the same kindness you offer everyone else. Practical steps forward Begin by naming the pattern when it happens. When you notice yourself over-planning every word or absorbing someone else’s mood, pause and label it, “This is my caretaking pattern showing up.” Naming creates distance, and distance creates choice. Another helpful practice is the “reverse check-in.” Before asking someone else how they are doing, ask yourself first. This helps you build the habit of becoming your own first responder instead of always placing others’ needs ahead of your own. You can also start setting micro-boundaries. Begin with one small “no” or one honest “I need a moment” each day. These are not rejections of others, they are affirmations of yourself and your own needs. Finally, find one safe outlet. This could be one person, one journal, or one space where you do not have to perform, protect, or plan your next move. It is simply a place where you can be yourself. Asking for help is not a confession of failure. It is an act of self-respect. The same courage that allows you to carry so much for others can be turned toward allowing someone to carry something for you. Her final words are perhaps the most important: "Learn to love yourself." For a 14-year-old who has already learned to carry so much, this is not a cliché. It is a goal. It is one worth supporting starting now. Follow me on Instagram and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Saaid Radwan Saaid Radwan, Behavior Analyst and Family Consultant Saaid Radwan is a Behavior Analyst, Neurodiversity and Family Consultant, and CPD Certified Trainer with over 20 years of international experience across the UAE, MENA, Europe, and Central Asia. He specializes in ABA, communication support, emotional regulation, and family-centered care across the lifespan. Saaid is passionate about inclusive education, early intervention, and empowering families and professionals through practical, compassionate strategies. His work bridges evidence-based practice with real-world impact.

Are you unintentionally holding back your team’s potential? Learn to identify and overcome the most frequent coaching pitfalls to become a more effective and inspiring leader. Expert Panelists 1. Create space for ADHD business owners A common mistake when coaching ADHD business owners is offering a flood of solutions or trying to push them into rigid systems that clash with their natural way of thinking. ADHD isn’t about a lack of motivation; it’s about managing focus, energy, and the constant juggling of ideas. Instead of overwhelming them, ask questions like, “What feels manageable to tackle right now?” or “What’s pulling your energy away from where you want it to be?”. By focusing on their immediate needs and strengths, you’ll help them build confidence and clarity. Coaching isn’t about fixing – it’s about creating space for their brilliance to shine. Errin Anderson, ADHD Business Coach 2. Smart strategies Coaches often make the mistake of doing everything themselves, which can lead to burnout and inefficiency. Here are the top five mistakes to avoid, along with strategies to help you focus on what truly matters and work more effectively. Writing all your own content is a common mistake taking first place at number one. There is no need to recreate the wheel and write all your content if you are not a writer and do not love to write. Use several resources that were expertly designed and written already. Learn about how AI can help you brainstorm outlines, save time, and save you money. 2. Managing all areas of your business alone tops the mistake chart at number two. You are not the expert in everything; stay focused on what you do best and hire experts for the other areas. Trying to do it all leads to being spread thin and less quality work with clients. 3. Doing all the marketing yourself lands at number three for most common coaching mistakes. Unless you went to school for marketing, you will eventually want to hire experts to help you. This is a profession in itself and will steal time away from doing what you love and not be as effective as paying an expert. 4. Not planning for time off, sick time, and holidays. When running your business, time off can seem impossible, but if you burn out, so will your business! 5. The final common coaching blunder is making your business your higher power is common coaching mistake number five. You are not your business; it is a part of your life, but you need to nourish your relationships and self-care, make time for spirituality, hobbies, and physical activities, and always make some time for play! Check out the workbook, Happiness is an Inside Job Playbook, for material, you can use with your clients so you do not have to re-create the wheel and for your own inner reflection and self-care. Ria Flanagan, Award-winning Author, Speaker & Business Leader 3. Transform to a personalized approach A critical mistake in coaching is adopting a one-size-fits-all approach. Leaders often fail to recognize the distinct needs and preferences of each team member. This standardized approach not only undermines the fundamental purpose of coaching but also limits the potential for breakthrough moments. These moments occur when leaders take the time to understand and adapt to each team member’s distinct learning style, professional aspirations, and personal challenges. Understanding individual cognitive patterns, communication styles, and motivators allows leaders to develop personalized coaching that drives meaningful progress. This tailored approach is a hallmark of expert coaches, and it’s a key reason why their clients achieve such remarkable results. The impact of tailored coaching extends far beyond immediate performance improvements. It fosters a culture of psychological safety where team members feel seen and valued, leading to higher engagement, innovation, and sustained excellence. Sandy Linda, Life Coach with Grief Expertise 4. Balance praise with constructive feedback It's easy to avoid difficult conversations to keep the peace, especially for those with a 'Good Girl Syndrome', where pleasing others takes precedence. Effective coaching requires nurturing with honesty – balancing praise with constructive feedback. A helpful tactic I employ is the 'six praises for one critique' ratio, a strategy I've adopted from the Tony Robbins world. This approach isn't just about being kind; it's a strategic method to ensure feedback is digestible and empowering while maintaining rapport with the person you're coaching. By integrating critical insights amidst ample recognition in a safe space where it’s clear you appreciate and root for this person, you provide a supportive yet challenging environment that encourages growth and resilience. This method allows you to be truthful without being harsh, ensuring your team feels valued and motivated to improve. Remember, genuine growth stems from a blend of encouragement and real, actionable feedback – without the latter, you risk enabling your team’s blind spots. Julie Vander Meulen, Empowerment Coach for Ambitious Women 5. Practice active listening One of the most common coaching mistakes is failing to truly listen. When coaches listen only to respond or to guide the conversation toward their own solutions, they miss the opportunity to understand their team members’ perspectives fully. To avoid this, practice active listening by being fully present, asking clarifying questions, and reflecting back what you hear. When your team feels heard and understood, they are more likely to trust your guidance and unlock their potential. One of our teachers, Dr. Wayne Dyer would often say, "When you silence your own voice and open your heart to others, you create a space where transformation can truly happen." Kapil and Rupali Apshankar, Life, Business and Relationship Coaches 6. Avoid 'telling', embrace coaching Confusing "telling" with "coaching" stifles growth and creativity. While it may feel efficient to prescribe solutions, this approach often stifles growth and creativity. Effective coaching requires curiosity – asking powerful, open-ended questions that empower individuals to find their own solutions and build confidence in their abilities. Avoid micromanaging or jumping to conclusions; instead, create a safe space where team members feel heard and supported. By practicing active listening and fostering self-discovery, you'll cultivate not just performance, but a deeper sense of ownership and motivation within your team. Heidi Albritton, Mindfulness & High Performance Coach

Wondering how to keep your team motivated during the summer months? Our expert panelists offer effective strategies and tips to boost team morale and maintain productivity throughout the season. Expert Panelists 1. Lead with intention Summer distractions are inevitable, but keeping your team motivated starts with you. As a leader, your energy and mindset set the tone. Prioritize self-leadership – ensure you're aligned with your values, maintain healthy boundaries, and model the balance you want your team to embrace. Motivation isn’t a quick fix for summer; it’s something you build all year through trust, consistency, and intentional leadership. Encourage flexible schedules, celebrate small wins, and create moments of connection. When your team sees you leading clearly and intentionally, they'll stay engaged and inspired. Motivation isn’t just about productivity – it’s about fostering an environment where people feel valued, energized, and empowered to do their best work. Fabienne Renders, Women’s Leadership Mentor | L&D Expert 2. Inspire through connection Keeping your team motivated during the summer requires a blend of inspiration, flexibility, and personal growth to maintain momentum and boost morale. 1. Set Clear, Inspiring Goals: Encourage the team to set summer-specific goals that are both challenging and achievable, giving everyone a shared purpose and a sense of accomplishment. 2. Emphasize Work-Life Balance: Promote flexible schedules or summer hours to help team members enjoy the season, which can improve focus and reduce burnout when they’re at work. 3. Incorporate Team-Building Activities: Plan engaging, low-pressure activities like outdoor lunches, team retreats, or even virtual gatherings to build connections and keep the atmosphere lively. 4. Offer Personal and Professional Development: Encourage growth by providing opportunities for learning, such as workshops or short courses, keeping the team engaged in self-improvement. 5. Practice Positive Reinforcement: Regularly recognize achievements and efforts, using praise and rewards to motivate team members and keep morale high. Use visualization and intention-setting techniques to help the team focus on their goals, creating a collective mindset of success and resilience throughout the summer. Dr. Kapil and Rupali Apshankar, Life, Business and Relationship Coaches 3. Engage with new environments If you’re not guilty of this, you’re either lying or in denial. The day is longer. The sun shines brighter. There’s playfulness in the air. And you’re stuck in the office, wishing you were anywhere but there. Those eight hours suddenly feel like an eternity. You’re not the only one feeling the summer pull, though. Your team is, too. And it’s not only pulling their attention away. It’s also pulling their productivity and motivation. But things don’t have to fall to the wayside during the summer season. There are actions you can take to help your team stay focused and exhilarated about working during this time. Summer is a time of renewal and innovation. Your leadership approach should mimic this. If your team is craving to be outside, break away from the norm and take them out there. Hold your meetings outdoors. This can be the vicinity of your office building (such as a rooftop, terrace, or garden area), in a park, at the beach, a museum, etc. The sky is the limit. And don’t be afraid to mix it up with each meeting. Take them to different spaces around your city – and even outside of it. Do team-building activities together, combining work and play, such as doing brainstorming sessions on a hike or organizing a scavenger hunt. The key is not to feel like you have to stay in the office when the weather is gorgeous. When you change up the environment and activity, you’ll keep your team engaged, happy, and inspired to do their best work as you all continue to meet company KPIs for the quarter and beyond. Olga Zapisek, Founding CEO & Principal Coachsultant at Novedia Creative 4. Boost the team's morale Summer can challenge focus and motivation, but the right leadership approach makes all the difference. These seven practical steps help foster trust, clarity, and purpose, boosting morale and keeping your team engaged throughout the season. 1. Creating an Environment of Trust and Collaboration: Trust is the foundation of an effective team. Without it, team members may feel insecure, which can lead to decreased motivation and engagement. Leaders should focus on building open and transparent communication where everyone feels heard and valued. Collaboration is key to achieving shared goals, and trust between team members allows for the free exchange of ideas and problem-solving without fear of criticism. 2. Setting Clear Goals and Expectations: Team motivation increases when every member knows what is expected of them. Clearly defined goals provide the team with direction and a target to aim for. Goals should be realistic, measurable, and aligned with the team’s skills and resources. 3. Providing Support and Development: People are more motivated when they feel their professional development is supported and valued. Leaders should invest in training, mentoring, and career development opportunities that help team members enhance their skills and achieve their career goals. Professional development not only increases motivation but also builds loyalty to the organization. 4. Recognizing and Rewarding Efforts: People want to be appreciated for their work. Recognition for well-done tasks can take various forms—from public praise to more formal rewards. It’s important for leaders to regularly acknowledge the effort and successes of the team, which boosts morale and motivation. 5. Promoting Autonomy and Responsibility: Team members are more motivated when they have a certain level of autonomy in making decisions about their work. By giving the team responsibility for completing tasks and projects, leaders build a sense of ownership and engagement. 6. Creating a Sense of Shared Mission: A team that sees its work contributing to a larger goal is more motivated. Creating a sense of shared mission that unites all team members gives employees the feeling that their work is meaningful and impactful. 7. Establishing a Positive Organizational Culture: An organizational culture that promotes positive values such as respect, openness, and support is crucial for team motivation. A positive work environment, where team members feel comfortable and appreciated, fosters greater motivation and engagement. Motivating a team is a process that requires consistency and commitment from leaders. Leaders who understand and implement these principles will be able to create a team that not only achieves high results but also derives satisfaction from work and is ready for future challenges. Katarzyna Dorosz, Business Coach & Lecturer 5. Show genuine interest and care Betting your success on your daily motivation is a dangerous game. High highs followed by low lows are the biggest enemy for your consistency, even for pro athletes. But how to avoid it? People who are deeply connected to their true purpose tend to experience fewer ups and downs. They are not just motivated, they are DRIVEN – driven by a vision that feels larger than themselves. If we have a crystal clear idea of how we want to live our best life in every aspect, motivational issues become a thing of the past. Ask yourself what makes your heart shine and your eyes sparkle, and start following just yourself instead of everyone else's ideas of a great life. If you already know your own vision and want to help others be more driven, it’s important to learn about them and their personality traits. Do it like some of the greatest sporting coaches out there, Carlo Ancelotti, for example, and view people as individuals first. Show genuine interest and care for them beyond their job roles if you want a driven team that follows your vision. Stefan Peter, Pro Soccer Mindset Coach 6. Mix summer ease with team drive It’s important to find a balance between maintaining productivity and allowing for relaxation. Flexible working hours can help employees enjoy the season while staying focused on their tasks. Incorporating outdoor meetings and team-building activities can foster a sense of camaraderie, keeping the team engaged. Setting clear, achievable goals aligned with the summer’s more relaxed pace ensures continued progress without overwhelming your team. Additionally, regular recognition of individual contributions boosts morale, while open communication helps manage workloads, preventing burnout and sustaining motivation throughout the season. Gilles Varette, Business Coach

Feeling stuck or unsure about your next career move? These practical hacks will help you gain clarity, set smart goals, and speed up your path to professional success. Expert Panelists 1. Plan smarter Start with a rapid self-audit: identify your top strengths, values, and the gaps standing between you and your next role. Run “micro-experiments,” like short freelance gigs or volunteer projects, to test new fields and sharpen skills without long-term commitment. Craft a one-page roadmap with a clear vision statement, milestone dates, and metrics to keep you focused and accountable. Leverage targeted speed-mentoring sessions and purposeful weekly outreach to expand your network and gain insider insights. Finally, embed accountability through a peer “growth buddy” and public commitments to turn goals into measurable progress. Yujia Zhu, Social Entrepreneur, Author, Executive Coach 2. Heal from the inside out When you heal from within, your mission and direction become clear. Your career isn’t separate from your inner world, it grows from it. The more you heal, the more aligned and purposeful your direction becomes. Here’s what that journey can look like: 1. Go for healing sessions with someone who is a good person with good vibes and talent. 2. Process the experiences and integrate the things that come up. 3. Love yourself, even if it’s culturally challenging. 4. Connect deep within your soul to find your mission in life. 5. Connect to the stars if you believe in guidance. 6. Own yourself and take over the world. Jonathan Dubrulle, Healer-Influencer 3. Safety first Successful planning starts from a place of safety. If you’re feeling stuck and your nervous system is on high alert, it’s likely busy protecting you from perceived threats – whether that’s a toxic boss, a stagnant role, or financial pressure. When you sense that the path you’re on isn’t right but you’re unsure what comes next, pause and ask yourself: “In this moment, what do I need to feel safe?” Strategy flows from clarity, and clarity begins with safety. Yolan Bedasse, Writer | Coach 4. Reverse-engineer your path One of the most powerful career planning hacks is to begin where you want to end up. Close your eyes and vividly imagine your ideal day at work five or ten years from now. What are you doing? Who are you with? How do you feel? Get specific. What kind of impact are you making? What does success look and feel like to you, not what others expect of you? This vision becomes your internal compass, keeping you focused no matter how noisy or uncertain the outside world gets. Now, reverse-engineer your path. What skills, experiences, and relationships would make that vision a reality? What challenges might you need to overcome, and who could help you along the way? Instead of drifting through “next steps,” every choice becomes intentional, aligned, and infused with meaning. To put this into action, write down your vision in vivid detail, identify three capabilities you must build, and map one bold step you can take this week to move closer to your goal. Revisit and refine your plan often. Because when your career planning flows from clarity and heart, not just ambition, you fast-track your growth while staying true to yourself. Dr. Kapil and Rupali Apshankar, Award-Winning Board-Certified Clinical Hypnotists | Board-Certified Coaches 5. Start with a strong foundation Change is an unavoidable part of our careers, and career planning is an ongoing process. The goals and strategies we develop and implement throughout our professional lives, especially during times of change, require a strong foundation. That foundation begins with our experiences and self-reflection. Whatever stage of life you are in, try these six questions to bring clarity to your planning: 1. What is your current relationship with work and your career? What are you experiencing? 2. What are your expectations and aspirations for work and your career? 3. What do you want to contribute to and be a part of, and why? 4. What do you want to learn more about, be exposed to, and gain skills in, and why? 5. How do you want to work at this stage of your life? Do you prefer more structured work, being self-employed, or something else? 6. At this stage in your life, what are your most pressing questions and concerns? Britt-Mari Sykes, Career Counsellor 6. Be aligned and authentic The fastest way to accelerate your career is to pause and “get undressed” first. Not physically, but energetically. Unpack why you want what you want, strip back the expectations you’ve absorbed, and ask yourself if this path is truly aligned with you. Most people skip this step, only to realise years later they’ve climbed the wrong ladder. When your career goals come from authenticity rather than pressure, action becomes effortless. There’s no overthinking, only clarity, alignment, and faster success. Gem Dentith, Personal Transformation Consultant & Coach

Written by Dr. Omosefe Christina, Medical Doctor, CEO and Founder Dr. Omosefe Christina is a Medical Doctor, Entrepreneur, and Founder of Elite Exams. She blends frontline clinical practice with medical education and community programmes to help International Medical Graduates (IMG) and African families flourish in their careers and communities in the UK. When I began mentoring internationally trained doctors in the UK, I encountered a physician who had previously served as a senior clinician overseas, leading emergency units, managing teams, and saving lives on a daily basis. Six months after her arrival, she struggled to adapt to the new system. Eighteen months later, she did not pass her postgraduate examination. This outcome was not due to insufficient clinical knowledge, but rather a lack of familiarity with the system, unstated expectations, poor understanding of the curriculum and assessment structures, local shorthand and medical abbreviations, and implicit cues presumed to be universally understood. She arrived and immediately sought to meet the expectations for NHS service delivery. This scenario exemplifies the reality of many IMGs and why differential attainment remains high. According to a 2024 article by Lane, Shrotri, and Somani, many international medical graduates in the UK face challenges adapting to the system, including working in isolated roles, receiving little constructive feedback, and having few opportunities for career progression. These factors can affect their ability to pass postgraduate examinations. The unspoken curriculum in medical training According to NHS Employers, 4,880 internationally qualified doctors left NHS practice in 2024, representing a 26% increase from 2023, when 3,869 left. This highlights ongoing shifts in the NHS workforce and the significant role of internationally trained doctors. These doctors bring extensive international experience, often while managing the challenges of migration, relocation, licensing examinations, and family obligations. Nevertheless, they are expected to perform at a comparable level to their UK-trained peers within weeks, despite being unfamiliar with the healthcare system. The professional exams they sit and the assessments they undergo were designed for a different candidate, those educated, socialised, and trained in the UK. In such instances, success assumes: Familiarity with local communication and consultation styles Understanding how the NHS navigates authority, when to escalate, how to raise concerns, and what "speaking up" looks like in practice Understanding of reflective learning and its application in healthcare education For international medical graduates, these are new territories to add to their steep learning curve. A 2025 systematic review in Frontiers in Medicine examined equity issues for internationally trained doctors. The review found some evidence that induction programs could provide beneficial support, however, it highlighted that access to these structured programs varies significantly across NHS trusts, resulting in inconsistent experiences for IMGs. The authors also noted limited evidence that current induction programs consistently improve adjustment or performance, indicating that both inconsistent provision and uncertain impact remain key challenges. Frequently, internationally trained doctors devote their initial years to adaptation rather than professional advancement. This process often involves extensive self-directed study to understand expectations and regulations, even as they are evaluated by these standards in both peer and formal assessments. This situation does not provide a level playing field, rather, it creates a delayed start for internationally trained doctors. The myth of "merit" When disparities in examination results emerge, common explanations include language barriers, communication styles, and "cultural fit." These explanations are convenient because they place the responsibility for adaptation solely on the internationally trained doctor. However, they are incomplete, as they overlook a critical issue, the system evaluates performance without critically assessing whether its metrics accurately reflect clinical competence. A BMJ Open study[1] analysed performance data across multiple postgraduate exams and found that even after adjusting for knowledge and clinical experience, IMGs scored significantly lower than UK-trained candidates. A 2024 British Journal of General Practice paper reported similar patterns for the MRCGP clinical skills assessment. If clinical knowledge is not the primary differentiator, it is necessary to examine what factors contribute to these disparities. Language can serve as a proxy for perceived capability. Accent, tone, and phrasing may influence perceptions of confidence or empathy. In high-stakes oral examinations, these nuances can affect outcomes to a greater extent than examiners may recognise. Assessment is not a neutral process, it reflects the culture of its designers. When those responsible for designing assessments do not represent the diversity of the assessed population, the definition of "merit" may shift toward conformity rather than genuine competence. True reform means rethinking what we measure, not "How well does this doctor fit our culture?" but, "Can this doctor deliver safe, effective clinical care within the NHS system?" In practical terms, genuine reform requires that internationally trained doctors are evaluated based on their clinical abilities rather than their assimilation to local norms. Competence should be assessed according to the actual demands of the role, not by the degree to which IMGs conform to existing expectations. Moving beyond one-off fixes Numerous NHS organisations have introduced 'mind the gap' initiatives, mentorship networks, cultural awareness courses, and advocacy projects. Professional IMG networks have also established community learning groups and peer support systems. While these interventions can offer benefits, lasting improvements require systemic changes focused on accountability and inclusion. According to a BMJ report, the NHS has recently introduced its first standardised induction programme for international medical graduates, marking an important step toward a more sustainable and supportive approach. Standardised, funded induction for IMGs. The GMC and several NHS England pilot programmes show that structured local induction within the first three to six months cuts attrition and improves confidence levels.[2] Equity audits in education and assessment. Regular analysis of progression and pass rates by training background, with oversight at the institutional rather than the individual level.[3] Rebalanced assessment structure. Shift from oral exams that reward verbal style to structured assessments that test clinical decision making. Use blinded scoring where possible. Train examiners not just to recognise their own bias, but to actively interrupt it, which means calibration with real cases and feedback, not one-off workshops. Recognition of prior experience. A consultant leading an emergency unit overseas should not have to restart at a foundational clinical level. Reform means establishing equivalency pathways that credit prior clinical training and leadership experience, allowing entry at the appropriate training tier rather than forcing a restart. It means paying for experience, not pretending it does not exist. It means treating an IMG's prior clinical experience as relevant, not as a liability to work around. Meaningful governance inclusion. This is shared governance with real power, by actively seeking IMG doctors to help design the training standards and assessments they are judged by. This is not consultation, it is co-creation. Using their perspective and experience of what the system actually demanded of them, and what it is missing in the induction and settling phases of migration, is essential in building a progressive healthcare system. This is not about lowering clinical or learning standards. It is about ensuring that what we measure accurately reflects clinical excellence for every member of staff in your organisation. What we can change now Although large-scale reform progresses slowly, targeted local actions can yield a significant impact. Currently, IMGs are assessed by supervisors who determine their clinical competencies. The disparity between necessary systemic change and feasible local interventions defines much of the IMG experience and is often where failures occur. Supervisors and educators who recognise this gap do not wait for top-down reform, instead, they foster supportive environments through structured feedback, recognition of prior experience, and encouragement of professional opportunities. While these measures do not replace structural reform, they are essential for supporting IMGs during transitional periods. Three proven practices consistently make a difference: Structured feedback. According to the General Medical Council's Fair Training Pathways review, providing behaviour-based feedback linked to clear assessment criteria can help reduce subjectivity and support better exam performance for internationally trained doctors. The review also highlights the value of learning from international expertise. IMG colleagues contribute clinical experience from healthcare systems unfamiliar to many UK practitioners. Supervisors who actively seek their perspectives and genuinely listen gain valuable insights, as do their teams. This process extends beyond 'cultural awareness', it acknowledges that clinical experience acquired abroad constitutes genuine expertise. Active sponsorship, not solely mentoring. While mentoring is valuable, sponsorship involves advocacy, such as recommending individuals for research opportunities and facilitating access to networks where leadership pathways are determined. IMGs frequently demonstrate clinical excellence but may remain excluded from these informal networks. Doctors who receive sponsorship and support are more likely to advance into research and leadership roles, whereas those without such support are less likely to do so, regardless of their competence. Redefining fairness Differential attainment is frequently described as a gap, but it is more accurately a lens that reveals the intended beneficiaries of institutional structures. While diversity is often discussed, fairness continues to rely on individuals adapting to existing norms rather than on systems evolving to accommodate diverse backgrounds. Many doctors currently occupying non-training positions were previously leaders in their home countries. Despite their expertise, they must repeatedly demonstrate their readiness. Each instance of burnout or disengagement represents a loss not only for the clinician but also for patient care. Patients do not benefit from systems that exclude capable clinicians due to unfamiliarity with local practices. Instead, they benefit from workplaces that recognise and value competence, regardless of where it was acquired. Fairness in medicine is not an act of charity, it is essential for building a sustainable workforce. The NHS is dependent on its international workforce. Staffing shortages, clinician burnout, and increased patient wait times are exacerbated when capable doctors leave because the system fails to support them. When institutions embed fairness into assessment, induction, and leadership, they are not acting out of altruism but necessity. Doctors, including IMGs, deserve systems that acknowledge their competencies and facilitate their contributions. This approach is fundamental to building a progressive NHS characterised by effective clinical practice. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Dr. Omosefe Christina Dr. Omosefe Christina, Medical Doctor, CEO and Founder Dr. Omosefe Christina creates digital learning platforms that turn frontline experience into practical support for international doctors in the UK. She is the CEO of Elite Exams, which supports the medical education of international trained doctors aspiring to become independent GPs. She builds digital systems, courses, platforms, and automated learning pathways to support doctors who migrate to the UK. References: [1] Woolf et al., 2016 [2] 2024 analysis of structural challenges for IMGs in the UK healthcare system [3] HEE Diversity and Inclusion Framework

Do you find yourself feeling confused or drained after interacting with certain people? Our expert panelists break down the most common mistakes people make when dealing with narcissists – and share smarter, healthier ways to respond. Expert Panelists 1. Seek approval In Dr. Charlotte Bedasse’s book Offense Kills: Healing From the Emotional Triggers that Hold You Captive, she explains what happens when you deal with a narcissist and the common behaviors you can expect. Here are two common mistakes people make and how to respond instead: 1. Expecting a narcissist to acknowledge when they’ve made a mistake and take accountability for their actions. They are masters at convincing themselves that reality is the lie they rehearse repeatedly, and they will twist the truth until you begin to question your reality. 2. Mistaking their displays of affection for empathy. A narcissist is incapable of considering another individual’s emotions. When dealing with a narcissist, the best thing to do is to go “DEEP”. A concept taught by American Clinical Psychologist, Professor Ramani Durvasula: Don’t Defend, Don’t Engage, Don’t Explain, and Don’t Personalize. Yolan Bedasse, Writer | Coach 2. Shoulder responsibility Many people fall into the trap of accepting blame when dealing with a narcissist simply to avoid conflict. Over time, this gradually erodes your self-worth and reinforces the narcissist’s distorted narrative that they are never at fault. Learning to hold your ground, even when it feels uncomfortable – is essential to protecting your sense of reality. Brianna Anderson, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner 3. Trust their words Expecting empathy or accountability from someone who consistently shows they are unwilling or unable to offer it. Many individuals also fall into the trap of over-explaining themselves, hoping clarity will resolve conflict, when in reality it often fuels further manipulation. Another mistake is believing that if they just try harder, be more patient, loving, or understanding, the narcissist will eventually change. People often internalize the blame for the narcissist’s behavior, which slowly erodes their confidence and sense of reality. Ignoring early red flags or repeatedly giving the benefit of the doubt can keep someone stuck in unhealthy dynamics far longer than they deserve. A healthier approach is learning to set firm boundaries and recognizing that protecting your emotional well-being is not selfish, it’s necessary. Ultimately, the most empowering shift is moving from trying to fix the narcissist to focusing on your own clarity, limits, and self-respect. Yujia Zhu, Social Entrepreneur, Author, Executive Coach 4. Sacrifice your boundaries Trying to reason with a narcissist as if they’re dealing with someone who values mutual understanding, they don’t. They value control, attention, and emotional leverage. Another common trap is over‑explaining or defending yourself, which only gives them more material to twist. People also expect empathy or reciprocity, and that expectation keeps them stuck in a cycle of disappointment. The healthier move is to set clear boundaries, stick to them without debate, and stop taking their reactions personally. When you stop feeding the dynamic, you start reclaiming your clarity and energy. Dr. Ari McGrew, Founder, Business Psychologist 5. Dismiss instincts Relying solely on logic and communication to navigate narcissistic dynamics is ineffective because it does not operate on mutual understanding but on control and manipulation. Many people stay in these dynamics far longer than they should because they override the signals of their own body, the tension, the exhaustion, the constant feeling of walking on eggshells. The body often knows long before the mind is willing to admit what is happening. Learning to trust those signals is often the first step in breaking the cycle. Therese Lyander, Writer & Private Mentor 6. Prioritize others' needs In my experience, the mistake I made was believing that if I just worked harder, clarified more, and absorbed the pressure, the situation would stabilize. Instead, overfunctioning only created more dependency and less accountability. I found myself explaining repeatedly, carrying conversations that were not mine to carry, and slowly losing clarity and energy in the process. What changed for me was realizing that leadership is not about enduring dysfunction but about protecting alignment, access, and mission. Boundaries did not damage the relationship; they revealed the truth of it. Chris Suchánek, Founder, Chief Strategy Officer, and Speaker 7. Feed the cycle Trying repeatedly to explain themselves in the hope that clarity will lead to understanding. Many believe that if they communicate better or provide more context, the conflict will resolve, but these dynamics are rarely about misunderstanding and more often about control and emotional leverage. The more you defend or justify yourself, the more the conversation stays trapped in a draining cycle. A healthier response is to keep communication calm, brief, and clear while refusing to engage in endless arguments. Simple statements such as “That is not how I see it” or “I am not continuing this conversation right now” can protect your energy and establish boundaries. When you stop trying to win the argument and start protecting your emotional well-being, the dynamic begins to shift. Dr. Kapil and Rupali Apshankar, Award-Winning Board-Certified Clinical Hypnotists | Board-Certified Coaches

Do you know how the way you communicate impacts your leadership? Our expert panelists break down the most common communication mistakes leaders make – and share practical insights on how to avoid them and lead with greater clarity, trust, and confidence. Expert Panelists 1. Miss team signals Leaders miss team signals in how they respond. People are not just listening to your words, they are learning what is safe to say, what is worth raising, and what is better left unsaid. Eventually, they start deciding whether it is safe to say anything at all. To break this cycle, start by noticing your response in the moment someone takes a risk to speak. That moment can shape everything that follows. Leadership is not defined by what you communicate. It is defined by what your team feels safe to say back and that is something every leader can change. Sharon Banfield, HR Consultant | Strategic Coach 2. Lack emotional clarity If your message doesn't align with what you actually feel, people will sense it – and your credibility takes the hit. Before you communicate, ask yourself: Is this coming from fear or faith? Ownership or victimhood? Your energy sets the undercurrent of your entire organisation. Use it wisely. And here's what people are actually hungry for: leaders who are certain about the vision, yet honest about the journey. Those who draw on the wisdom around them and openly acknowledge what they don't yet know. That kind of vulnerability about the how doesn't weaken your leadership. It deepens it, because it signals trust. And trust is what transforms a message into a movement. Elsbeth van Lienden, Founder Field Intelligence Tribe 3. Authority without empathy Communication plays a defining role in how leaders build trust, inspire teams, and guide performance. One of the most common mistakes leaders make is being unclear, which can create confusion, misalignment, and missed expectations. Poor listening is another major issue, as it makes employees feel overlooked and weakens connection and morale. Leaders also hurt their credibility when they avoid difficult conversations or fail to give timely, constructive feedback. Overcommunicating authority without empathy can make teams feel controlled rather than supported and motivated. By practicing active listening, being transparent, and tailoring messages to their audience, leaders can communicate more effectively and confidently. Avoiding these mistakes helps leaders strengthen relationships, earn respect, and create a more focused and trusting work environment. Yujia Zhu, Social Entrepreneur, Author, Executive Coach 4. Hide behind polished words Polished language often hides what leaders avoid naming. When a leader prioritizes a smooth narrative over the "productive distress" required for growth, they inadvertently signal that the environment is not safe for truth-telling. In complex systems, trust is not built through the absence of conflict, but through a leader’s ability to hold the steady heat of competing values without retreating into vague, over-managed certainties. The task of the leader is to use language that helps people stay oriented within ambiguity, rather than providing a false sense of closure that protects the leader’s authority at the expense of the group’s adaptation. By failing to name the "elephant in the room," communication becomes a work avoidance mechanism that leaves the most critical challenges unaddressed. Maya Niksic, Leadership Coach 5. Unclear expectations Many leaders unintentionally weaken their impact through common communication mistakes such as unclear expectations, reactive responses, or failing to truly listen. Over time, these habits can erode confidence and make even the strongest strategies difficult to execute. Great leadership begins when communication becomes intentional, transparent, and rooted in respect. Rita Farruggia, CEO and Founder of HappyBeingWell.com 6. Fail to communicate honestly Leaders lose credibility when their message is vague, overly polished, or emotionally disconnected. People want direction they can act on, not speeches they have to decode. When you communicate with clarity, honesty, and a willingness to name what others avoid, your team feels safer and more aligned. Effective leadership isn’t about sounding authoritative; it’s about making sure people know exactly what you mean. Clear communication is the fastest way to build trust and momentum. Dr. Ari McGrew, Founder, Business Psychologist 7. Lose meaning behind targets Goals tell people what to do, mission explains why the work matters and what standard it deserves. When leaders focus only on targets, people aim for completion. When they articulate the mission behind the work, and the craftsmanship it calls for – people feel called to pursue excellence. The leader’s role is not simply to give direction but to name a purpose worthy of people’s best effort. That clarity transforms communication from instruction into inspiration, and it’s where trust, ownership, and exceptional performance often begin. K. Joia Houheneka, The World's Premier Excellence Coach 8. Avoid real dialogue Early in my career, I convinced myself that a well-crafted email could handle anything – a performance concern, a course correction, even a difficult conversation I didn't feel ready to have out loud. It can't. Email strips away tone, body language, and the back-and-forth that keeps meaning intact, so what you intend as a nudge lands as a reprimand, and what you offer as praise reads as sarcasm. I've watched carefully worded messages detonate relationships that a five-minute conversation would have strengthened, simply because the reader brought their own anxieties to a medium that couldn't reassure them. The hardest lesson I've had to learn, and keep relearning – is that the more important the message, the less it belongs in your outbox. Pick up the phone, walk down the hall, or book thirty minutes: your words deserve a voice. Phillip Shoemaker, CEO & Security Consultant 9. Communicate only in crisis Silence during calm builds reactive communication cultures. This creates a culture where communication feels like a warning sign rather than a source of connection and guidance. Consistent, proactive communication – even when there is no urgent news – builds the psychological safety and trust that high-performing teams need to thrive. Brianna Anderson, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner 10. Ignore emotional impact Ignoring emotional impact erodes trust in communication. You may be clear on the message, but if people feel dismissed, rushed, or unsafe, the message is lost. Leaders often underestimate how tone, timing, and presence shape trust far more than content. A quick comment in a meeting, a delayed response, or a reactive email can quietly erode morale. To avoid this, slow the moment down. Before you speak, ask yourself what the person in front of you needs to feel in order to perform at their best. Practice naming emotions as much as outcomes by saying things like, “I know this is frustrating” or “I can see the effort you put into this.” Be direct, but human. When leaders communicate with emotional awareness and intention, teams feel respected, trust increases, and conversations become catalysts for alignment instead of resistance. Dr. Kapil and Rupali Apshankar, Award-Winning Board-Certified Clinical Hypnotists | Board-Certified Coaches

Written by Kathy Cook, Director of Kathy Now Then Coaching Kathy is Director of Kathy Now Then Coaching, drawing on 15 years’ experience as a teacher, SENCo, Assistant Educational Psychologist, Young person coach, and parent. She supports families to rebuild relationships and help young people thrive amid the evolving pressures of today's education system. Drawing on her experience in education since 2006, as a teacher, SENDCo, Assistant Educational Psychologist, and parent, Kathy Cook supports families in rebuilding relationships and helping young people thrive amid the pressures of modern education. Who wouldn’t love to win the lottery and take the financial pressure off, even just for a while? It’s an appealing idea. But when we begin to see money as the solution to our problems, exploitation is often not far behind. For adults, this might show up through gambling or an unhealthy drive to climb the career ladder at the expense of health and family life. For young people, however, exploitation can take a far more slippery path through county lines. Safeguarding against county lines Have you heard the term county lines before? If I hadn’t spent years working in education, I’m not sure I would have. Safeguarding has always been central to my work with children and young people. It’s also something many people don’t realise is everyone’s responsibility. If you have a concern about a child or young person, it matters, and it should never be ignored. County lines refer to the exploitation of young people to distribute illegal drugs. They are often groomed into these roles through promises of money, status, and belonging, meeting emotional needs as much as financial ones. But beneath the surface, the risks are severe. This exploitation rarely affects just the young person. Families can also become victims through a process known as cuckooing, where a home is taken over and used as a base for criminal activity. What may begin as an attempt to cope or get by can quickly escalate into a situation that feels impossible to escape. Young people themselves are often dehumanised, referred to as easily replaceable “Bic” pens, and become part of a hierarchy that feeds on vulnerability and the need for recognition. It is exploitation at its starkest. It’s not happening here It’s comforting to believe that this isn’t happening in our communities. I used to think the same. Early in my role as an Assistant Educational Psychologist, I was shocked to learn that a pupil could not attend their education placement in a Pupil Referral Unit because it was on a different “patch”. It felt like something out of a novel, but it was real, and it was affecting access to their education. I have known families who are now serving prison sentences as a result of being cuckooed, families who never set out to be involved in anything illegal. Their vulnerability was targeted, and the consequences were life-changing. This is happening more often than we might realise, and it may not even be part of a statistic because it hasn’t been recognised yet. Education and youth justice service Within the education system, there are still gaps that some children fall through. For those young people, the outcomes can be stark. There are well-documented links between low levels of academic attainment and involvement in the criminal justice system. It raises an important question: at what point are these individuals being let down? How can we work with the Youth Justice Service as a preventative approach rather than a reactive one? A world where people struggle to read, write, manage finances, or regulate their emotions is isolating. Despite progress, aspects of our system still echo the past, repeating cycles without addressing root causes. Recognising the signs There are services available to support young people affected by exploitation. But, as with all safeguarding, awareness is key. We need to recognise the signs: Sudden access to money or expensive items Changes in behaviour, secrecy, or withdrawal Unexplained travel or absences New associations with older individuals or groups Exploitation doesn’t always look obvious, and it doesn’t always happen in another city. It may be closer than you realise. Straight talking: What can we do? If you have a young person in your life, help them understand that money is earned over time. Quick money often comes with hidden costs. This is not to say that having high aspirations is bad, but it is about building awareness and resilience. If you have concerns, don’t ignore them. Don’t hope they’ll disappear. Reach out for support. There are organisations equipped to help, often discreetly. We want young people to grow in independence, but they also need to know there is always a safe space to return to. Keeping communication open, being curious, and listening without judgment can make all the difference. Actions are often taken with the best of intentions, or even as a cry for help. Let’s not allow more young people to become statistics. A collective responsibility Safeguarding is not just a professional duty, it’s a shared responsibility. By staying informed, speaking up, and supporting one another, we can help protect children and young people from exploitation. Let’s allow children to be children, safe, supported, and free to thrive. It’s their protected human right, too, under the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Kathy Cook Kathy Cook, Director of Kathy Now Then Coaching Now Then Coaching takes its name from a warm greeting used by Kathy’s late grandparents and a reminder to focus on now, while growing from then. With experience across primary, secondary, and specialist settings, including Alternative Provisions, Kathy has supported families through both one-to-one coaching and educational support. She helps adults reframe how behaviour is understood, recognising that not all needs are loud or disruptive, some are quiet and easily missed. Kathy advocates for moving beyond labels such as “naughty” or “disengaged”, encouraging a more compassionate, curious approach that asks what a child may need rather than what they have done wrong.

Written by Julie Wan, Psychotherapeutic Counsellor Julie Wan is a UK-based Psychotherapist and Counsellor specialising in anxiety, life transitions, and attachment work with teenagers and adults. She integrates humanistic-existential psychotherapy with developmental psychology to help clients gain clarity and freedom. As conversations around ADHD and autism continue to grow, many people are reexamining long-held feelings of shame, difference, and self-understanding. This article explores neurodiversity through a relational and phenomenological lens, reflecting on diagnosis, societal structures, and the importance of understanding human experience with curiosity rather than reduction. Why neurodiversity conversations matter right now Conversations around ADHD and autism have become increasingly visible in recent years. For some people, diagnosis brings an enormous sense of relief and understanding. For others, it can feel uncomfortable or limiting, as though their identity risks becoming reduced to a label. The longer I sit with clients, and reflect on my own experiences too, the more I find myself questioning these kinds of either or positions. As someone with lived experience of neurodiversity alongside my professional work as a therapist, I have become deeply curious about the ways people make sense of diagnosis, difference, and identity. Part of what drew me to writing this article was a tension I have increasingly noticed, both personally and professionally, yet rarely seen spoken about explicitly. Within existential and phenomenological traditions, there is often understandable caution around reducing people to labels, whilst at the same time many people experience diagnosis as profoundly meaningful, relieving, and validating. I have found myself increasingly reflecting on how we might hold both of these realities together without rushing too quickly towards a conclusion. Perhaps this unresolved tension is part of the paradox itself. As a therapist working from a phenomenological and existential perspective, I am often less interested in asking what a person objectively is, and more interested in understanding how someone experiences themselves and the meaning they make of that experience. Thinkers such as Ernesto Spinelli have deeply influenced my thinking in this respect, particularly around remaining open to experience rather than reducing people too quickly to fixed assumptions or categories. At the same time, I have also found compassionate psychiatric voices such as Edward Hallowell incredibly valuable. What I appreciate in his writing on neurodiversity is that he acknowledges both the reality of struggle and the humanity of the person experiencing it, without collapsing them entirely into pathology. I think that balance feels important to me. When diagnosis brings relief I have sat with clients who, after years of believing there was simply something wrong with them, experienced diagnosis as profoundly relieving. Suddenly, experiences that once felt confusing begin to make sense within a different framework. The narrative can shift from “I am failing” to “perhaps my brain works differently within a world that expects certain ways of functioning.” The shame softens. Self blame loosens. There is often more room for self compassion. Yet, diagnosis is not always experienced positively. Some people feel boxed in by labels, fearful of being reduced to a category or seen only through a diagnostic lens. Others worry that diagnosis somehow defines the boundaries of what they can become. Both of these realities matter to me. Public understanding of neurodiversity is still shaped by stereotypes. ADHD, for example, is often imagined through the image of the hyperactive, disruptive, misbehaving boy unable to sit still in a classroom, yet many women and girls are only diagnosed later in life, after years of masking or quietly struggling in ways that went unseen. Many adults receiving diagnoses later in life describe not only relief, but grief too. Grief for the years spent believing they were lazy, difficult, disorganised, too sensitive, or fundamentally flawed. This is one reason why I would describe myself as neurodiversity affirming in my therapeutic work. Not because I believe diagnosis should define a person completely, nor because I think every human struggle should be explained diagnostically, but because I have repeatedly seen how understanding oneself differently can create compassion where previously there was only shame. The systems we live within At the same time, I also find myself increasingly reflecting on the social structures we live within and the ways they shape what becomes visible as difference in the first place. Modern life rewards certain ways of functioning. We tend to value sustained attention, organisation, productivity, emotional regulation, and the ability to function consistently within highly structured environments. This is especially visible within education and workplace cultures shaped around standardisation, efficiency, and conformity. This does not mean neurodiversity is unreal. Attentional, sensory, emotional, and social differences are very real lived experiences. But I do wonder whether the impact of those differences, and the extent to which they become disabling, shameful, or pathologised, is shaped in relationship with the environments people are trying to navigate. Even the language we use reflects this at times. Terms such as disorder can subtly imply malfunction or defect, shaping how people come to understand themselves long before compassion or context enter the conversation. It is perhaps no coincidence that many people celebrated for creativity, innovation, or challenging convention are also people whose minds work differently. Traits that may be pathologised within rigid environments can, in different contexts, become sources of originality, creativity, and vision. It leaves me wondering whether, at times, the problem lies less within the person themselves and more within environments that struggle to accommodate different ways of thinking and being. If our societal structures were different, would we even use terms such as neurodivergent in the same way? Human neurological variation has likely always existed, yet the meanings we attach to certain traits are inevitably shaped by the cultures and expectations we live within. Someone who struggles within highly standardised environments may experience themselves very differently in spaces that are more flexible, creative, or adaptive. Some evolutionary and anthropological perspectives have also suggested that traits now associated with neurodiversity may once have been experienced very differently within earlier human communities. Human beings lived for much of history within smaller relational groups where survival depended on a range of different strengths and ways of responding to the environment. Within those contexts, traits we might now associate with ADHD, such as novelty seeking, scanning the environment, creativity, spontaneity, or responding quickly to change, may not necessarily have been understood through the lens of disorder in the way they often are today. Different people within a group may naturally have gravitated towards different roles based on their particular strengths. Of course, this does not mean neurodiversity would never have brought struggle or challenge. Nor does it mean earlier societies were somehow ideal. But it does invite reflection on the possibility that some forms of distress emerge not only from difference itself, but from the relationship between that difference and the structures people are expected to function within. Beyond reductionism From a phenomenological perspective, human beings do not exist separately from relationships, culture, expectations, and the social worlds they move through. Diagnosis itself does not emerge in a vacuum either. It exists within particular ideas about what is considered normal, productive, functional, or acceptable. This does not make neurodiversity unreal. Rather, it invites us to reflect more deeply on the relationship between individuals and the worlds they are trying to navigate. I am also drawn to aspects of R. D. Laing’s thinking, particularly his concern that diagnosis can sometimes become reductionist when human suffering is separated from the wider context within which it emerges. At the same time, I do not entirely reject diagnosis in the way some perspectives critical of psychiatry have done. Within the systems we currently live in, diagnosis can provide language, support, understanding, access to help, and relief from shame for people who may otherwise feel deeply alone in their struggles. I think this tension matters. A relational way of understanding people As a relational therapist, I am far less interested in fixing people than in helping them understand themselves more compassionately and honestly. Much of my work involves creating a space where people can begin making sense of themselves outside rigid narratives of defectiveness or failure. Very often, the people I work with do not seem broken to me, although they can feel that way. More often, they seem overwhelmed, ashamed, exhausted from masking, or worn down from trying to fit themselves into environments that do not naturally accommodate who they are. This is why I often find myself interested not in rejecting diagnosis, but in remaining curious about how it is being held and experienced. In my work, I sometimes find myself gently challenging the idea that struggles belong entirely within the individual at all. As a relational therapist, I see human beings as inseparable from the relationships, systems, environments, and social expectations that shape their lives. Sometimes this opens up a different kind of conversation. If the structures surrounding someone were different, would those struggles feel the same? Would they even be understood in the same way? Perhaps diagnosis can be understood not as a fixed identity, but as one possible lens through which people make sense of themselves. A lens that can offer validation, language, understanding, support, and self-compassion within the at times limiting societal structures that we live in, whilst still leaving space for complexity, individuality, and humanity. Closing reflection As a neurodiversity affirming therapist working relationally with both adults and teenagers, I continue to find myself deeply interested in the ways people make sense of themselves, their struggles, and the worlds they are trying to navigate. Both personally and professionally, I believe there is something profoundly healing about moving away from shame and towards greater understanding, self-compassion, and curiosity about what it means to be human. Follow me on LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Julie Wan Julie Wan, Psychotherapeutic Counsellor Julie Wan is a Psychotherapist and Counsellor working on the South Coast of the UK and the founder of Rockshore Therapy. Registered with the BACP, she works from a humanistic-existential framework, integrating phenomenology, attachment theory, and developmental psychology. Julie specialises in anxiety, transitions, and relational difficulties with teenagers and adults. Her work is known for its depth, clarity, and ability to reduce self-blame while supporting clients to see their situations more clearly. She has previously worked with organisations including the YMCA and brings a rich background in education and teaching to her therapeutic practice.

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