Written by: Denys Khromov, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Do you know what is the biggest mistake that many startups make? They focus exclusively on their product or service and forget about branding. Indeed, what you provide to your customers has to be top quality but branding is the driving force behind the process of recognizing and scaling any business. There are several important steps when it comes to branding, from understanding your business's unique selling point (USP) to pinpointing your target audience, and you need to know how to get it right. It is a mistake to think that branding is just a name or a logo. A brand is all about the identity of the business, its values, story, tone of voice, attitude, beliefs, and soul. Of course, it is important to create an image and a name for the startup but you need to dive deeper to introduce your uniqueness to the world. “Proper branding is the key to your startup’s success.” 5 important parts in branding a startup There are a few important things that you need to know about branding and how to make it right for your startup. 1. Ideology The first thing is ideology. In other words, the positioning of your company. To build it right, you need to know exactly what your business is like and what emotions it evokes. You also need to think of the USP and make it super clear for people who know nothing about your company (yet). Plus, explore the market, identify your target audience and learn everything about them. A quick tip: the narrower your target audience, the greater the chance of hitting the bull's eye. 2. Story Once you have found your audience and niche, you need to introduce your startup as a person with its own character. Come up with a catchy name, create a story and then sell it. It's no secret that startups take time to be recognized by people. However, building your brand story and the right storytelling will help you a lot. The story has to be filled with real emotions, so make it memorable but reliable. As for naming, it has to be short (not more than two or three words) and speak up for either your business core or your business uniqueness. The name, image, vision, and look of your branding messages have to be carefully elaborated and clear to your target audience. This step is very important when you start working on your branding strategy. 3. Identity Next comes the visual – logo and identity. Keep in mind that the visual has to reflect your unique idea and be likable to the people you target. If you sell handmade unique bags for women, you don’t have to be focused on the audience that purchases mass-market bags for men. 4. Communication Now, let’s talk about communication which also has to be clear and unique. You have to find your tone of voice and know how to maintain long-term communication with your audience and potential clients. In order to succeed you need to use multiple channels. Try to use non-standard media besides the old ones like TV or outdoor. Today, there are so many other channels that you can use, like social media, emails, website content, blogs, guerilla marketing and so on. Use digits and letters because they are consumed better, and enriched with images and colors. It is essential to build emotional connections with your clients because this is how we make them trust you. Do not be afraid to show yourself in the most non-standard way! Believe us, people like it when you are different from others! Be brave to impress the audience but make sure you look solid at the same time. “Do not be afraid to show yourself in the most non-standard way!” When you just appear on the market, you already have so many competitors, so that is why you need to have a sketch of branding from the start. Branding helps you generate familiarity, new customers and also returning ones. It is not a secret that people prefer to come back and buy again if they liked your product. But first, you have to reach out to them and be unique to stand out from the crowd. Once you get the order, make sure your service or product is trustworthy and the client will be 100% satisfied when ordering from you. If one client likes you, be sure that this person won’t hesitate to refer even more potential customers to you! This is how well-done branding works in tandem with a quality product. 5. Brand consistency The last step to take before you launch is to be absolutely consistent with the whole brand. Make sure the positioning of your brand is clear and reflects all benefits of your business. Also, you need to be absolutely ready with the planning of the year, as well as with all social, PR, and creative communication. Another good thing about branding is that it improves your staff’s pride and job satisfaction. Clearly, people who work for a business that has strong branding are more eager to work better and they are proud to be a part of something unique. They want to ensure the startup’s success and are more willing to work. But also, don’t forget to show your employees that their efforts are appreciated and you genuinely value them. “People who work for a business that has strong branding are more eager to work better.” As you can see, startup branding is extremely important from the very beginning of your company’s path. You need to introduce the business to your target audience in a clear and unique way. Well-done branding is the key factor to the success of every company as it establishes you as a reliable and interesting company. Follow me on LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Denys! Denys Khromov, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Denys Khromov is an inspirational leader in the IT world, his passion of resolving complex problems and ability to scale operations for high-demanding companies is amazing. Worked with Forbes 500 clients with zero-failure and extreme satisfaction. During the free time loves to read books, play chess and tennis.

Written by: Cynthia Appiah, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. As a transformational life coach, I have the privilege of working with ambitious people who are destined for greatness, but often times, they have a difficult time finding their purpose. Throughout the years, people have approached me and asked me the question: “ How do I know or find what my purpose is?” To help answer this question for my clients and the many people who have asked this, I have created 7 helpful tips I share with my clients and other ambitious people who find difficulty in identifying their purpose. I am a believer in God, who is my source of living ( some identify it as pure energy, the universe, Allah, etc.). Whatever you call the “source”, and in this case, for me, it’s God. I believe God has given every person what they need to succeed in life so that we all can live abundantly. Therefore, I will start this piece with a bible verse from Romans chapter 12 versus:6–8. “6 We all have gifts. They differ according to the grace God has given to each of us. Do you have the gift of prophecy? Then use it according to the faith you have. 7 If your gift is serving, then serve. If it is teaching, then teach. 8 Is it encouraging others? Then encourage them. Is it giving to others? Then give freely. Is it being a leader? Then work hard at it. Is it showing mercy? Then do it cheerfully.” I believe one of the reasons we are on this earth is to use our God-given gifts to enhance the lives of others. Once you have identified your gifts, it opens the door to your purpose. Here are my 7 helpful tips on how to identify your God-given gifts that will open the door to your purpose. Tip 1. Identify all your interest. Identify everything you love to do and everything that just comes easy and write it down. Take this time to brainstorm and truly focus on what makes you happy and focus on what skills and talents come easy to you without hesitation. Tip 2 .Pray about it or meditate to help calm your mind and center you. If you are a believer, praying helps you stay grounded and focused. Some meditate to help them become more centered. In this state, what you have identified in tip number 1 becomes visibly clear and the answer will start to appear for you. Tip 3. Ask your friends & family for guidance. When you surround yourself with friends and family who are supportive and encouraging and each one loves to see you win, their opinions and perspectives can help you further identify your gifts. Sometimes friends and family can help point you or identify some of the great characteristics that can help you come closer to identifying your gifts. They can help you answer questions such as: *What are some of the great things about you? *What do people admire about you? Tip 4. Narrow Your List Using what you have identified in the previous process, narrow your list of talents, skills, and interests you have identified. Tip 5: Come back to the list with a fresh set of eyes Out of college, I held a job as a healthcare marketing and administrative assistant for a healthcare policy agency. Every time I created a project and presented it to my manager, she would say, “ Cynthia, good job, but let’s come back to it and look at it with a fresh set of new eyes.” What she said was so excellent, and as an adult and a life coach, I have implemented this thinking in everything I do. Apply this thinking to the list you have narrowed. Coming back to your narrowed list with more clarity can help you become closer to identifying your gifts that will lead you to your purpose. Tip 6. Number it from 1–10 Using your narrowed list of skills and talents you have identified for yourself, number your interest and the things you love to do with ease from 1–10. If you did not give your identified skill or talent a 10, remove it from the list. What you have removed, can still be a gift, but it is not your passion that can provide you with the tools needed to lead you to your purpose. If it is a 10, that is a passion and will be more purposeful to follow. Tip 7. Create an action plan for your purpose Look through the list you narrowed and does anything your friends or family say about you match up with what you have identified? Was there a common skill, passion, or talent that was consistent? Use the list you have identified to create an action plan to unleash your purpose. This tip takes a lot of self-discovery. It is very important to do this with clarity, so take your time to get to the result you are looking to achieve. Here is an equation I have developed to empower you to live your purpose. Passion+ Cultivate + Persistence + Share with the world to enhance the lives of others consistently = Purpose A person’s passion often times is tied in with their gift. If you cultivate and persistently pursue your God-given gift and share with the world consistently, you have reached your purpose. In conclusion, every person on this earth has a gift, and being able to share that gift with the world is what makes you unique, and honing in on that gift is what can empower you to unleash your purpose. The path to self-discovery and following the tips, I have shared with you today will help you get to the results you are looking to achieve and unleash your God-given gift that will lead you to your purpose. Submit questions you have on how you can identify your purpose, to info@beautyfromwithincc.com Cynthia Appiah, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Cynthia is the host of Cynthia TV, a Pageant Competition Expert, social media content creator, motivational speaker, mentor, and life coach. As multi-talented diva, Cynthia has helped her clients break through the obstacles that seem to be holding them back, while empowering each person to GET THE CROWN in life. She has spent 10 + years helping individuals to create a lifestyle of success and balance. Her goal is to use her entertainment platform to inspire ambitious women and pageant beauties to embrace their beauty from within. She feels fortunate to have found her calling and is passionate about making a difference in other peoples' lives. Life's too short to be unhappy, unsure, or unfulfilled.

Written by: Christy Roberts, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Life is meant to be fully lived, it’s why we are here. Imagine your life is a Hollywood movie and you’re the writer. You can scribble it out, tear it up and start again whenever and wherever you like. Keep perfecting it, keep changing it, write well and edit often. Living an extraordinary life doesn’t just happen, we create it. We are born full of limitless possibilities and potential. We are born with curiosity, optimism, love, and adventure. Our minds have the capacity of the most powerful computers on the planet, and we are the operators. To reach our potential we must learn to fly, unlock the chains and restrictions that hold us back and set ourselves free of our inhibitions. This is what you were born to do, it’s why you’re here! It’s your life, so create your masterpiece There are many layers to this conversation, including: Learning to free the residual build-up of the trapped emotional pain we all carry. Learning to free your mind from the beliefs that limit you. Creating more empowering beliefs. Finding your authentic self ‒ the person you were always meant to be before life came along and changed you. Discovering who you are meant to be and what you’re truly capable of. Connecting with the things that motivate and inspire you. Unearthing the pathway there, mapping it out, and creating your own unique blueprint. Taking the actions needed to create the life you want. Never settling for less, stopping, or giving up. Always remember, you don’t have to do this on your own. Self Directed Healing is a very effective natural therapy for releasing deep emotional pain and clearing limiting beliefs. Working with a Life Coach will guide you in the right direction toward your goals. It will fast-track your results and keep you focused and accountable. Investing in yourself and improving your life is the best investment you will ever make. Did you know that only 2% of people are living their life by design? Most people drift into an ordinary, mediocre existence, i.e.: Making do Getting by Being reasonably happy Doing OK Not blinging in bliss ‒ but content Do you want to be in the 2%, living your life with passion and purpose, but have no idea where to start? Are you ready to level up? Then read on … The 7 Steps to Living with Passion and Purpose Living with meaning and purpose is like rocket fuel for humans. In a nutshell, here’s the higher level process I follow when working with clients: Identify where you are now Decide what’s most important to you Clarify your future vision (what is your purpose?) Recognise your blocks, hurdles, and challenges Work towards healing and removing the blocks Plan a pathway, your map, toward your future vision Take small and consistent actions. Your purpose must align with your values and beliefs. Goals that are aligned with who you are as a person, with your values and your beliefs will naturally connect with your intrinsic motivation and create passion and purpose. What do you want? Setting your expectations and creating a blueprint, helps you get clear on what’s important to you, and acts as a guide for where you need to focus and concentrate your efforts. Well-set goals can be incredibly motivating, and as you get into the habit of setting and achieving goals, you'll find that your self-confidence builds. Brainstorm: What do you want? Here are some examples: Do you want to be the next CEO? Do you want a promotion? Do you want to grow or start your own business? Do you want to be a leader and help others? Do you want to have a balanced life? Do you want a better relationship? Do you want to improve your love and sex life? Do you want more quality time? Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to heal an injury? Do you want to improve your health and fitness? Do you want more money in the bank? Do you want to finish some studies? Do you want to give back to your community? HOT TIP: Consider how you’ll feel when you achieve these goals. Give yourself time to feel those feelings, in your body. Meditate, visualise and write it down, always connecting with the feelings. Ultimately, the goal you are seeking is really about the feeling you’ll get when you achieve these things, it’s not the actual thing! For example, do you want to feel more joy, love, freedom, and inner peace? This is the real goal, all the other ‘stuff’ is simply the vehicle to help you attain it. SO … if joy, love, freedom, and inner peace are the ultimate destination you’re seeking then why isn’t everybody working towards getting there? It’s because we don’t know how. We’ve never been shown or taught these skills. So many of us are stuck in the relentless, day-to-day, hamster wheel of life, and we’ve lost our vision, our way. The distance between your dreams and your reality is called focused action. Taking Focused Action … Consider: What is something that you can do right now or today, each day, every day, and just do that. Keep moving towards your goals. When it comes to living on purpose, it’s important to set goals in the key areas of your life, e.g., health, career, relationships, wealth, and interests. Download our free Goal Setting Workbook now to get started. Get excited, this is totally doable, and keep going … One of the reasons I'm successful in business and in life is that I don't give up. The minute you give up, that's it, game over. I'm very connected to my bigger purpose and vision ‒ my WHY. I regularly work on the belief systems and emotions that limit and block me. I work on getting really clear on my goals. I decide on the strategies I'm going to implement to help me reach my goals. I work to continually develop and improve my skills. I review my goals regularly, and correct course if needed I stay focused and take consistent action. Decide to take action. What we focus on is what we get. If you want results, you need to act. What happens when you’re ‘off course’? In an ideal world, we set our goals, map out the steps, take action, get some momentum, take more action, and reach our goal. However, that’s not usually how life works. It’s rarely that straightforward. When it comes to your life and the goals you set yourself, the trick is not to worry about making a wrong decision, it’s learning to course correct. How do you know when you’re off course? When you’re not living on purpose? The 2 most obvious signs are: confusion and unhappiness Notice your pain and triggers. How are they showing up for you, and what set them off? Mental and emotional pain or discomfort is saying – “Hey, that’s not it!” This is a good thing, notice them, and see them as indicators. This is your internal compass or guidance system. It’s your body telling you to course correct. It’s all feedback, so PAY ATTENTION! If and when things dive and you find yourself off track, don’t give up! Just pay attention and course correct ‒ it’s simply feedback. Remember: the past cannot be changed, and the future is the direct result of what you do right now! Next steps: Download our free Goal Setting or Procrastination Workbooks. Check out my Brainz article on: 9 Smart Goal Setting Questions You Need To Ask Yourself. Listen to our Podcast on Overcoming Self Sabotage. If time management is a challenge for you, I encourage you to come along to our Master Your Time ‒ Master Your Life FREE MasterClass Or check out our self-paced online program Master Your Time ‒ Master Your Life. Need some help, then reach out ‒ we offer free discovery calls. We’ll discuss where you’re at, where you want to be, what needs to change, and how working with a world-class Coach & Healer could be the next step to fast-track your results toward living your life with passion and purpose. Your life is so precious, don’t waste it. The POWER is in your hands. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Christy! Christy Roberts, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Christy is the Global Self Directed Healing Practitioner Trainer, an award-winning Coach, and Grief Educator with over 20+ years of Human Resources and Organisational Development experience. She helps people journey through the toughest of life’s challenges, like grief, trauma, anger, anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, fear, overwhelm, stress, and burnout. Christy is passionate about unlocking our human potential, transforming mindsets, and supporting people to get out of their own way and live their ultimate lives by achieving the success and results they desire. She provides Coaching, Self Directed Healing, Workshops, and Educational Resources that positively impact people, leaders, and workplaces. As Founder of Creating Change, she is driven to make a change in our society and culture, so that we are more authentically connected to ourselves and living with passion and purpose.

Written by: Tony Martignetti, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Do you have the influence you want in your career, life, and relationships? The old school of influence comes from force. This is where people must be commanded, put in their place, and punished if necessary to get them to comply or get on board. But history has repeatedly shown that whether it’s your nation, your coworkers, or your kids, force takes a lot of energy and, in the end, almost always fails against our human nature to resist. Influence, however, is power WITHOUT force. What carries the most power is when people see you as someone who is clear in your message, authentic in your voice, and aligned in your actions. When leaders live this way, their reputation begins to precede them, which is an indication that they have become rich in “social capital.” When people hear about your merits from others, they begin to trust and admire you before they even meet you. But here’s the deeper cut. When you carry yourself in a way that raises the bar for how others around you show up in the world, they start to follow you, trust you and are loyal to you, not just because they like you but because you carry a quality that has them “want to be like you.” That is ultimately what it is all about and why learning to be a leader of positive influence is an evolutionary journey. As Lao Tzu famously said, “The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.” And the journey to being a powerful and influential leader starts with how you respond to the next thing that comes up for you to deal with. Something to think about as you go through your day. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Tony! Tony Martignetti, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Tony Martignetti is a trusted leadership advisor, experience creator, author, podcast host, and speaker. He brings together over 25 years of business and management experience, formal training, and extreme curiosity to elevate leaders and equip them with the tools to navigate through change and unlock their true potential. He loves guiding people to find clarity in their lives so they are energized, fully present, and unstoppable. When leaders unlock their potential and lead from a place of inspired purpose, they impact and inspire everyone around them. He has dedicated himself to helping people live inspired lives. Before becoming the founder and Chief Inspiration Officer of Inspired Purpose Coaching, he was a finance and strategy executive with experience working with some of the world’s leading life sciences companies. Along his journey, he also managed small businesses and ran a financial consulting company. Tony is the host of The Virtual Campfire podcast and the author of "Climbing the Right Mountain: Navigating the journey to An Inspired Life."

Written by: Gina Lokken, ICF PCC, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Ever feel like you're just going through the motions as a leader? Not sure how to get your team to engage and get excited about what they need to do? Enter the vision board. Some of you may be thinking, "Vision boards? That seems like a poor use of company time." But I'd challenge you to reconsider that perception. Vision boards are not only a fun way to get your team to step outside the formal patterns of everyday work habits but also an opportunity to create a unified sense of direction for the new year. You'd be surprised at how much fun dreaming together as a team can be and how motivating it is when you're all moving in the same direction with clarity and purpose! To plan your own team vision board for 2023, follow these steps: Gather the team and explain the concept of a vision board. A vision board is a visual representation of what you want to achieve in the future. It can be a collage of pictures, quotes, and other things that inspire you and show what you want to achieve as individuals and as a team. Set a date for the vision board session. This is a great team-building activity, so choose a time that works for everyone. Encourage team members to bring materials that inspire them and represent their goals. These can include images, quotes, and other elements they want to include on the board. Set up a large workspace where the team can lay out their materials and create their vision boards. Encourage team members to be creative. Encourage them to dream big and include things on their vision board that may seem out of reach at the moment. Take turns sharing your vision board with the team. As team members learn more about each other's goals, they should be encouraged to help and support each other. Hang the completed vision boards in a central location where the team can see them every day. This will help keep the team motivated and focused on achieving their goals. Check-in with the team regularly to see how they are progressing towards their goals and make adjustments as needed. By creating a team vision board, you can make planning for 2023 fun and energizing. It's a great way to bring the team together and get everyone excited about what the future holds! Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Gina! Gina Lokken, ICF PCC, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Gina is passionate about helping female entrepreneurs, business professionals, and leaders infuse God into their everyday personal and professional lives so that they can become the person He designed them to be. She firmly believes business and faith do not have to be separate, and business does not have to be boring. Gina specializes in strengths-based leadership and team building, creating cultures of joy through neuroscience practices, leadership and communication training, and creative coaching methodologies that propel her client's past what they originally thought was possible!

Written by: Sally Higoe, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Have you ever noticed how some people tend to cause pin-drop silence when entering a room? These people seem to “own the room” even without having to say anything; everyone senses that this is a leader. In a leadership role, you want to exhume that type of confidence in people around you and earn their respect. But let us face it. You will not always feel confident. Some days you are at the top of the world; others, you hide behind curtains. Taking on the leadership position in any job appears to be the simplest part of the job. Well, it is not. Every leader needs to appear confident and communicative, all without having to stamp their authority on their subjects. It is an understatement to say that most leaders’ experiences can be bruising. It can be anything, from responses of disgruntled staff, unruly subjects, or complicated conflicts to solve, all of which lead to a downward mental spiral and consequently to a blow in confidence. Leadership success correlates much more closely to high confidence than competence. The question is, how do you conjure up confidence? A concrete place to start, especially when you’ve just gotten into a leadership role, is by exercising the “imposter syndrome.” Although it is not the best name for something relating to a leader, it is an effective measure. Walk and talk with confidence until you feel confident. Start by emulating someone you think oozes confidence. Act like you deserve to be in that role, and own it. Unless you are terrible at faking, your actions and body language will sell you out as a confident leader. You will eventually start believing in yourself and become it. Be More Self-Aware While at it, become more aware of your body language. For example, when your body releases stress hormones, they lower your mood and sour interactions with those around you. Even when emotions are slightly slumped or you feel at ease, your body sends an external message of a knock in confidence. By understanding your body language, you can balance out your internal chemistry with how it affects your confidence. Confidence does not only come from wanting to be it. Part of it is from the satisfaction of getting things done. Confidence is built on accomplishment. The secret is to make priority lists and manage time properly. You can do that in these ways. Give your team the guidance they need. Set achievable targets. Avoid procrastination. Follow a system. Own your responsibilities. Focus on your strengths when executing plans. Deal with one activity at a time. Your to-do list will never be blank. But if you ever find yourself wishing for more hours in a day, that’s a good sign that you got lost in your planning... time to readjust. Better planning reflects on the quality of the execution, and that will consequently build on your confidence. Just like a yawn, confidence is infectious. This is a scientific fact enabled by mirror neurons in the brain. According to neuroscientist Margaret Steward, the brain likens self-efficacy to self-confidence. Confidence does affect not only your behaviour, but also that of the people around you. The behaviour of the people around you can also bring doubt. Surround yourself with confident people. Your cheerleaders are a positive influence but sometimes also unhealthy, as they support your poor and good decisions. People with confident personalities can be people you trust, fellow leaders, or mentors. Limit relations with people who bring down your confidence but learn to discern the difference between healthy critics and negative people. However, your confidence will not always be at a hundred, even as a great leader. Learn how to balance out your dull days with some laughter and playfulness. In challenging situations, this helps put things into perspective. With a clean and healthy perspective, you can diffuse things easily, develop creative and collaborative solutions, and keep difficult situations under control. This fuels positive relationships with your team as they feed off the positive energy, impacting your confidence. A leader’s self-confidence will mostly impact their instincts, communication abilities, and motivation before they do others. Remember, your team relies on your confidence to take on risks and carve a path for your staff to follow. I work with clients to help them become Emotionally Fit. In a nutshell, this helps leaders to deal better with uncertainty, allowing them to be more confident and clear in both themselves and the direction they’ll take. If this is something that you’d like to know more about, please email me and we’ll make time to chat. Follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Sally! Sally Higoe, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Sally is uniquely world-experienced in building resilience, emotional fitness, and quality sustainable practices in leadership. Her experience across multiple countries leading high-performing teams in high-pressure outlying remote environments has amplified her ability to know what it takes to connect a conscious leader to their team, with outstanding results. Having spent decades on diverse projects in every climate imaginable, Sally discovered the critical aspects of authentic leadership and team alignment. She has now blended research-based, proven methodology with her pragmatic approach and ability to 'be herself' to create the transformative Align & Shine program. There, she guides formerly flustered, confused, and internally insecure leaders, to tap into their true classic selves, without the need to conform to outside pressures, helping them become bold, present, courageous, and energized leaders who genuinely connect with their team AND their business. Sally is co-author of Resilience in Leadership, Pt 1 of the book series, leader of both community and international hardship projects, and accredited in scientifically proven Human Behavioural Profiling and Meta Dynamics ' thinking-based methodology, adding to her Practitioner of Coaching credentials. Most importantly though, Sally, Founder of Team Resilience Method, is now on a mission to show striving leaders how to shine, gain clarity and create a ripple of positive change, from the inside out.

Written by: Maryann Lombardi, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. So, the universe decided we needed more excitement in our lives and has generously provided us with a recession ‒ or is getting ready to. Yay? "Simply put, a recession is when the economy stops growing and starts shrinking." Thank you, The New York Times. A recession brings with it negative consequences. An economic downturn can make the things you buy more expensive as economic growth slows. The stock market can tank which has direct effects on the value of your stocks. It can get harder to get a loan because interest rates rise, and the job market gets crappy. "Well, that sucks, thanks for the downer, Maryann." All of this stuff is stressful but don't panic. You have choices. So What do I do? It can feel like you have no control during a downturn, but that is far from the truth. You can wait to see what happens or seize the opportunity. If you choose to take action, you have more control of your destiny than you think because change is a great opportunity. You can reach out to your financial planner for guidance, or start interviewing someone so you have one on call. You can postpone any big purchases you had planned, and you can reassess your job situation. All of this will generate positive outcomes. A recession is a good time to be proactive about your career opportunities. Take a look at your current job. Does it pay you enough for what it costs you mentally and emotionally? Is it worth it? We can see from watching our teachers and health services professionals quit that there is only so much one can take before enough is enough. There are lots of ways you can make extra income and work from home. Whether you keep your day job or ditch it, starting a side business is a good way to go. How do I Get started? 1. Set your purpose Before you start a side business, ask yourself why. What do you want to accomplish with this new business? Do you want to make more money? Or challenge yourself? Follow your passion? Whatever reason, write it down ‒ name it. There is power in the act of naming what you want to do and the impact you want to have. Before you even take action, naming it allows you to start processing what it will be like to achieve your goals of making more money, building something you have control over, and following your passion. 2. Set Clear Financial Goals Start by setting clear financial goals with your new side business. Ask yourself, how much money do I want to make each month, and how much you are willing to spend? Maybe you want to earn an extra $1K to help offset any rising costs the recession may bring. If your job is at risk, you may be testing out the limits of what is possible to earn with your side business to see if it can become a full-time income. Spoiler alert, in many cases it can. You don't have to spend money to start a side business but you should. Hiring a good business coach will help you avoid pitfalls and distractions and meet your financial goals faster than doing it on your own. Can you do it on your own? Yes. Google and YouTube are your friends. You can sift through content and figure out most of what you need to know. It will just take you a lot longer and feel more overwhelming. 3. Start with what you know and who you know There is no need to reinvent the wheel with your new side business. Start with selling something you already are great at to people you already know. If you are a teacher, first, god bless ya, second, you are great at many things! With the rising percentage of families choosing to homeschool their kids, seize the opportunity to offer after-school tutoring and support to those families who choose to homeschool. According to Forbes, "the latest report, through January 17, 2022, 1,106,777 distinct applicants had applied to 853 colleges that use the Common App" That's a lot of college essays that need editing, a lot of kids you previously taught who need help, and families already in your network that will pay for extra support. 4. Make time You may not have time but you can make time for your side business. We have more control over our time than we think we do. We choose to direct our time toward our priorities. If you need to know where your time is going, do a time audit. You may be surprised by what you learn. I've included a worksheet to help you with this at the end of the article. Once you know how you spend your time, redirect and reshuffle that time to make room for your side business. Ask for help from your partner, friends, and family. After all, your success at this new venture is also their success! In conclusion Author Jeannette Walls said, "Sometimes you need a little crisis to get your adrenaline flowing and help you realize your potential." So get out there and exercise your control to change your life! Download my Time Management Worksheet to see where your time is going and how to redirect it! Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Maryann! Maryann Lombardi, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Maryann Lombardi is a business launch coach and author. She has spent the past 20+ years working with cities, organizations, and communities, building policies, programs and resources to grow the creative workforce and help entrepreneurs thrive. She now channels that expertise and insight into helping women and non-binary individuals build wealth and independence by turning their expertise or personal experience into a profitable business.

Written by: Leon El-Alamin, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Review of 2022 Programs and Recognitions. The MADE Institute provides services to individuals returning to Flint, Michigan following incarceration. Flint is the birthplace of General Motors and was the location of the water crisis in 2016 which has dramatically impacted the people who live here. As citizens return to the community, they arrive with “the clothes on their backs” and face a myriad of challenges. MADE assesses each individual and creates a comprehensive case management plan that addresses their unique challenges and circumstances. Number of Program Participants Since our inception we have provided job training, transitional housing, access to health programs and a myriad of other support services. In 2022, we ushered in new growth and beginnings as we started to return to more of our pre-pandemic programming. We are proud of the work the MADE Institute was able to do over the last year. Since 2016, our programs have provided training and services to 1,000 individuals. Programs include our EPIK Life Skills Program, Google Certification and more. Over 75% of the 2021 EPIK Life Skills Program participants have demonstrated skills in resume writing, job searching, networking, and interviewing. One new program that was launched last year was a health and wellness education program with Michigan State University. Program participants participated in weekly classes including hands-on cooking classes and health education sessions. In addition, The MADE Institute had our first cohort complete an energy auditing & weatherization training. The program ran throughout November and provided training opportunities to help our participants secure jobs helping set them on a better path for their future. In addition, we launched a partnership with the City of Flint and Genesee County to continue to work on blight and the rehabilitation of homes in the area. We have been working to clean up the neighborhoods near our transitional homes by rehabbing abandoned homes and taking care of lots which have become overgrown and filled with waste. 2022 Accomplishments and Awards Other highlights for the 2022 year include having our director Leon El-Alamin receive several awards. First, he was honored by the Michigan Founder Fund with the Community Trailblazer Award. He also received the Changemaker of the Year award from the National Clean Water Collective. We were also honored to have him participate in the 2022 Accelerator Session for REDF in San Francisco. He had a chance to participate in the accelerator employment social enterprise program. The cohort was among the 126 leaders from 34 states that the REDF Accelerator has engaged since launching in 2016. In the coming months, Leon El-Alamin and our program manager, Marsha Thrower, will start a fellowship program with the Enterprise Ventures of Color. We also expanded our marketing through our partnership with VREEL and with Brianz Magazine. VREEL is a digital networking platform that transforms business cards into a digital format. Leon will have monthly features in Brianz Magazine regarding MADE's programs. Overall, 2022 was a year of dramatic growth and increased outreach for The MADE Institute. We are excited to see all the new doors that open in 2023. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Leon! Leon El-Alamin, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Leon El-Alamin is the founder and Executive Director of the M.A.D.E. Institute, that stands for Money, Attitude, Direction and Education. Growing up on the North Side of Flint, Leon was a good kid who took refuge at his grandmother’s house to escape the challenges he faced at home and out on the streets. After graduating from high school, the allure of earning fast money made Leon start selling cocaine. A few years later, a shootout over a drug turf war landed him in the hospital where he spent a month in a coma. The incident led to his eventual arrest and imprisonment on drug and weapons charges. At the age of 30, Leon was released from prison after serving part of his sentence then founded MADE.

Written by: James McWilliams, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Psychotherapy and counselling are increasingly seen as invaluable services to maintain our everyday mental health and long-term well-being. The support of a counsellor or psychotherapist can have a huge impact both personally and professionally. However, searching for an appropriate therapist can be a minefield. Here are 5 top tips for finding the right psychotherapist or counsellor for you. 1. Before Starting the Search, Consider Key Issues & Your Goals Think about the key issues you would like to explore and what you would like to achieve (i.e., goals and objectives) by the end of the experience. For instance, if you wish to explore a relationship difficulty, your goal may be to find ways to improve your communication style and alleviate anxiety. This can help to focus your search on practitioners with the relevant skill set or expertise. Note, most practitioners will use the introductory or initial session to ask relevant questions about the issues/themes you would like to focus on and briefly discuss important aspects of your life. 2. Decide on In-Person vs. Online (or a combination!) Since the pandemic, an increasing number of practitioners now offer an opportunity to have either in-person (face-to-face) therapy, online via a video conferencing platform such as Zoom, or a hybrid combination of the two. If you prefer to have therapy online, location will not be an issue. This opens up the potential to work with a practitioner anywhere in the world! Both in-person and online therapy have their pros and cons. Some clients find in-person more personable and relatable. Others may find online more convenient, less intimidating and equally effective. Think about what is going to be more beneficial for you in the longer term. Ultimately, the therapist needs to be accessible to motivate you to commit to the experience. Like going to the gym, if it is too far away you may be less likely to make the journey there. 3. Decide Your Budget A more expensive therapist does not necessarily mean a more effective one! A counsellor or psychotherapist in private practice can charge anywhere between 50-120 (GBP) per session. Sessions are typically 50-60mins in duration and are usually weekly. Some practitioners may offer a fortnightly frequency depending on their availability and the types of issues to be explored. Be prepared. Depending on your needs and how much you are willing to explore, therapy may be a long-term endeavour, so how much you are comfortable paying will need to be considered from the outset. It is not unusual to want quick fixes to issues. Be patient. Lifelong issues are unlikely to be healed within a few weeks or months. 4. Consider Specialist Expertise/Experience Specialist expertise may be relevant if there is a specific area you are wanting to explore. For example, if you are wanting to explore issues around sexuality or gender, you may want to work with someone who has experience working with people in the LGBTQ+ community. For a comprehensive list of the types of therapies available, click here. However, the key is trust and the dynamic you forge with the counsellor or psychotherapist. Feeling comfortable, being honest, and willing to share aspects of your life with a trained practitioner is crucial to the effectiveness of the experience. 5. Picture & Profile In my opinion, finding a therapist is a lot like house-hunting. Go with your gut instinct when looking at someone's picture and reading their profile. Do they look like someone you feel you could trust or could relate to you? Ask for a free telephone consultation to get a feel for what they are like. I offer all my prospective clients a free 15-minute call. Then, if you agree to have an initial session use this opportunity to gauge how much you feel at ease with them. Trust your intuition! Importantly, make sure the therapist is licensed or registered with a professional body to ensure they adhere to the highest ethical standards in their practice. For example, the BACP and UKCP are two of the largest, recognised professional bodies in the UK. For further guidance, feel free to contact me at McWilliams Therapy. Alternatively, check out the following directory links for therapists based in the UK: Counselling Directory: https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/ Well Doing: https://welldoing.org/ Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/counselling BACP Directory: https://www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists Follow me on LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from James! James McWilliams, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine James McWilliams (PgDip MBACP) is a psychotherapeutic counsellor in private practice; seeing clients in-person in central London and online. A registered member of the British Association of Counselling & Psychotherapy, James is a qualified Psychosynthesis practitioner. Prior to establishing his private practice, McWilliams Therapy, James has 15 years of corporate experience in the broadcast & media industry including six years at The Walt Disney Company. James is also a passionate member and supporter of the LGBTQ+ community; having volunteered for Switchboard, a London-based helpline service, and Terrence Higgins Trust’s Counselling Service.

Written by: Sasha and Daniel, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. On the surface, it doesn't seem that way. Women are highly capable and do not need strong men to survive. But do they thrive without a strong man in their lives? Here we discuss what it is to be a strong man, why women need them and how strong men are sometimes confused as weak and toxic men. The many waves of the feminist movement have helped level the playing field, and rightly so, for men and women. However, whether it's equal, fair and balanced is a topic for another conversation. Women are intelligent, strong, and capable of forging their careers and earning their own money; women no longer need men to survive financially. They can stand on their own two feet and do it successfully. Women have become achieved leaders and are thriving in previously male-dominated fields. More women than ever are choosing to become mothers without having a male partner. Thanks to the scientific discovery of IVF, men are not needed, in the traditional sense, for reproduction anymore. Unfortunately, there is a downside. Women have had to become more masculine to succeed in this male-dominated world. Women shut down their emotions, intuition and instincts to operate like men. Women react to messaging suggesting the only way to succeed is to hustle, push and use force to achieve. With women becoming stronger and more masculine many men, as a result, have become emasculated and passive in their relationships, leading to the rise of the sensitive new-age guy who is more feminine, gentler and more passive-aggressive than men have been previously. As polarity and imbalances of the feminine and masculine in the world occur, it naturally affects all aspects of life. Do men know their place in the world? A man can't know how he fits in this world if he is uncertain of his role as a man. Men need to know they are valid, have worth, are appreciated, and contribute to the world. What is required to be a man for a woman when he is confused with the mixed societal messages? For example, women are taught to be independent and stand on their own two feet, so how does a man know how to be there for her emotionally? To lead and be decisive in a relationship, a man can be labelled as controlling. Yet the truth, many women are yearning for men to step up and take the lead so she doesn't always have to. When a strong man is there for a woman, she helps him reveal his potential and be solid and certain in who he is. Adored, appreciated and desired, she becomes the air under his wings. She builds him up to be even stronger and contributes to his and society's betterment. What is a strong man? He is devoted, centred, and present with grounded energy. He provides safety, protection, and consistency. Mission-driven, he has a clear purpose, intention and direction. He is decisive and confident and takes the lead. A strong man leads with openness, integrity, compassion and concern for others. He is courageous, fierce, and brave and faces his fears. Rawness, passion and creativity give him great depth. He holds love in his heart and is open with his feelings, leading to deeper intimacy and connection. He is thoughtful and caring and embraces vulnerability. His grounded energy and certainty within himself create a safe emotional space for the woman. A woman doesn't have to carry a strong man's emotions, and he allows freedom for hers. Why do women reject strong men? Some women will push against strong men and their existence because of their wounding by weak men during childhood experiences or while growing up. Feeling unsafe and unsupported by a weak male figure, many women have not had the experience of a genuinely strong man. Somewhere along the way, masculine strength has been labelled as toxicity. When a woman rejects her femininity and lives more in her masculinity, she is unable to allow in a strong man and thus rejects him instead. Why do women need strong men? A strong man, in his groundedness and certainty, offers emotional, physical and spiritual safety to a woman. A woman needs to feel safe emotionally to thrive as her true self. Feeling desired with deep intimacy and polarity between them restores the natural flow of the universe. A woman can breathe again when she doesn't need to be everything to everyone else because a strong man will allow her to shine. We learned from Joseph Campbell that she wouldn't need to reduce her effulgence to match a man less evolved than herself. What does it mean for a woman to have a strong man in her life? A strong man allows a woman to relax into herself and her femininity. He is her emotional safety and comfort, and he sees her; he listens, respects and adores her. She feels closeness, opens her heart fully and allows her intuition and instincts to thrive. She becomes his greatest confidant and wise sage, valued, needed and appreciated for her brilliance. She drops her masculine shield, which allows her to stop overdoing and being everything to everyone and nothing to herself. Instead, she accepts help, learns her limits and says no when she has a strong man by her side who supports her to be the full expression of herself. Answering the question Of course, women can survive without strong men, but for women to thrive, she needs a strong man. Strong men are necessary in this world, in relationships, workplaces and families, just as the world needs feminine women. Neither a strong man nor a feminine woman takes away from the other; they raise each other in love, adoration and support of each person, being the most full and best version of themselves. God/Source created the masculine and feminine for a reason, and we all need it for order, balance and clarity. If you want more polarity and balance in your relationship, download our 14 Guiding Principles on our website. See our previous article here. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Sasha and Daniel! Sasha and Daniel, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Sasha and Daniel specialise in relationships, human behaviour and experiential healing. Their collective 14 years as coaches taught them that patterns from previous relationships and upbringing could adversely affect their connection, even knowing they were soul mates. So from day one, they consciously designed their relationship by creating 14 principles to guide their behaviours and focus. Sasha and Daniel aim to heal the world with their love by showing couples how to turn towards each other again for fulfilment, intimacy and connection. Sasha and Daniel offer exclusive 1:1 coaching and retreats for couples that are at 80% and want that extra 20%. They teach simple, actionable principles for partners who love each other but have lost their way.

Written by: Tara Antler & King Gabriel, Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. The Everlasting Moment. There I am, without a sense of self, blissed out with no identifiable reason for it, no one to point to, and nothing with which to point, yet, I feel as if a quintillion orgasms are condensed into this one experience. It is complete fulfillment with no recognizable reason for it. It just is. There is light everywhere; In fact, it appears that I am this light. I see this light from a frontal view, I am the entire light stretching out without a limit, and I am a point on the upper right side of the light. It is so fulfilling and beautiful that I could stay here forever. It’s September 29th, 2009, and I’d just finished my initiation into the Agape International Spiritual Choir in Los Angeles, California. Coincidentally, the name for a new member of the Choir at Agape is “New Light.” The requirements to become a New Light were to have a certain number of hours of community service either as an usher or volunteer, and to pass the singing auditions. I’d completed the service requirement and enjoyed my regular spiritual practices, which allowed me to grow in ways I couldn’t have previously seen as possible. Music had called me from the tender age of 3, just about when I began meditating and I knew that it would be a part of my journey. The Life Template The beginning of this life has remained etched in my mind as if it was yesterday, and by the beginning, I am referring to existence before being in a physical body. I was light, in the form of a body, though much lighter and slightly different in structure, as there were no apparent legs or arms. Yet, there appeared to be what we would call wings or at least light that spread from the body in the area you would assume wings would be, and there was a beautiful golden-white glow everywhere. This perception of myself made a significant difference in m thoughts about life and the way I acted within it. I remember, as a child being outside with the trees, having moments of deep inner communication, and an inclination toward meditation, music and introspection into human behaviour. The Ultimate Teacher My Mother would light a kerosene lamp and place it on the kitchen table, and I would sit there and steer at it feeling the calm within me. I enjoyed a very rich (rich in experience) childhood due to My Parents’ Love and dedication to Us. My mother and I would take walks together where no one said a word, but peace and inner understanding were always present. At a fundamental level, I knew that things always worked out for the best. Enter the “Bad Guy” I then started the public schooling sysytem, and interacted with different people with diverse beliefs, views and concepts about life’s true meaning. The idea of sin, not as error, but as a symbol of unworthiness was introduced by the prominent system of religious belief common to our island and at the age of 7, I made a divergent and unexpected choice. I found money in an envelope in a hallway, and instead of doing the “right thing,” I enacted the Universally known law of “Finders Keepers.” At the moment, it felt like a fantastic opportunity. Yet, a little while after claiming it, inner turmoil ensued, so I began my money management venture and soon discovered that for a 7-year-old, $110 might as well have been a million dollars because I could not even begin to crack into it significantly. I bought sticky toys, (you know the type that sticks to the wall and roll down while clinging to the wall). I picked up soft drinks( which my parents would have never given to me at that point), gum and silly things that a 7yr old would want. I even gave $10 to a Friend, but I couldn’t spend enough to get rid of it, which I then desperately wanted to do as the conflict within began to heighten. Soon the search was on for a culprit as someone had reported the money as stolen instead of lost. Now I knew, that I didn’t steal it, as it was just lying in the hallway, but I had already felt so guilty in my efforts to rid it that I couldn’t even begin to explain my thought process or the circumstances by which I had acquired this fortune to anyone else. In short, I was reported by my friend to whom I generously gave $10, and I was severely punished by being carried around the school and beaten by several teachers and the principal This sort of abuse, as it is now categorized, was somehow acceptable in my culture and time. My parents, believing I had taken a wrong turn, allowed the punishment, believing that correction in the form of punishment was due. The embarrassment was on par with the physical pain incurred in the beatings. I felt like I was a bad person, and with each teacher that casted a comment and felt righteous in delivering her wrath to me, I began to experience a deeper and more intense degree of guilt and shame. Contrary to the expectation that this would curb my ways, the feeling of guilt and shame only made me consider myself a lost cause. Maybe I was just a “bad guy”, and so I continued thinking and feeling this and made a series of errors that could have brought disgrace and shame if discovered. I observed how I felt, and it was the same feeling of being bad each time I acted in this way. I was not too fond of it, but it seemed fitting. The Almost Psychopath I discovered a few things about human behaviour through this experience The real challenge was how perceived myself, so after observing, I derived an action plan. If I was ever going to do anything like that again,I had to convince myself that I was doing the right thing. I believe this is where psychopaths originate (they convince themselves that their actions are justified despite the divergence from the voice of their consciences). Fortunately, my meditative practices continued through this time, and my heart became the focal point of my meditation. There was a tangible shift within me, and one day, I just stopped doing the things that made me feel like a bad prerson. I had done wrong and learnt right. But on a much deeper level, my perception of myself had shifted. Logic to the rescue I became aware of a simple logical idea that was so self-evident that it could be easily overlooked, but it engendered the basic difference between a “positive” person and a “negative” one. The simple logic behind it was as follows: A person behaves as he perceives himself A positive person perceives himself healthily A person can become positive by perceiving himself healthily This was accompanied by straightforward methods of transmuting the former into the latter. The perception I held of myself shifted and how I saw the entire world and my place in it changed as a result. My life became more about observing my reactions and those of others. I discovered ancient, occult and self-evident ways of altering perception without hallucinogens or mind-altering substances and after exploring the effects myself and running through hundreds of case studies with my clients as a Spiritual Practitioner, I began teaching methods of transforming perception with practical tools and practices which allowed students to live from a healthy view of themselves and thrive in life. The Defining Moment So, as stated previously, on September 29th, 2009, after putting all that I had learnt into practice and being in a position of service while exploring consciousness through my own life experience, a moment of pure ecstatic unequivocal bliss was experienced. The word experience may not necessarily suffice, as there was nobody or object per se that experienced it. It was a moment in which no time, or measure of it was available, as there was nothing to measure with. It was as if Liquid Lovelight was flowing upon itself, and I was it, observing it and immersed in it simultaneously. I have no idea what the duration of this event was, as I was not present or prepared for it, so I had no reason to time it. In fact, for me, the entire Universe and all that seemed real from a human perspective did not exist. Then, out of nowhere arose a thought, in fact it was more of a memory than a thought. It was the memory of a dream I once had when I was ten years old, in which “Jesus” (of whom I was taught in school and Sunday school, at a nearby Church), came to the edge of a huge body of water on a huge boat. The boat docked on the water’s edge, and I was invited onboard. It seems as if this was the end, as the earth was cracking as if an earthquake was taking place. He invited me onto the boat and I refused, as the requirement was that I leave my mother behind. I refused and said that I would never leave without her, and then I awoke. This was the memory which arose in the middle of this totally blissful experience, and as if a choice was made again in that moment, I chose to return for my mother. The next thing I remember is arising from the bed in my room and feeling as if the biggest secret in existence had been revealed to me. I saw that who I was as a being was not the surface self (made up of my possessions, Behaviours, Feelings, Values, Beliefs, Worldviews or even my Ultimate allegiance) but my awareness of it all, yet to make a change within the experience, my self-concept was what was in need of change. I came across a model of the layers of perception which echoed my view, and it was certainly worth looking at. The model was known as the culture onion, and showed the layers of the individual’s expression from his Ultimate Allegiance all the way down to the things that he was surrounded by, known as Artifacts. As far as the perception was concerned, a person’s ultimate allegiance was the central idea that governed the many levels that proceeded as a result, hence the change was within the individual, and those who knew that Love, Light and Peace were within, would live a life reflective of those principles, while those who saw a void, or nothing, or darkness, would have a corresponding life. A negative person can therefore become positive by becoming allegiant to the Love, Light and Peace. I certainly did. Now this is not to say that life became magnificently easy as a result. In fact, there were many challenges, heartbreaks and events that would knock most people on their butts for a lifetime, yet that resilience, strength and faith that I was now aware of, allowed me to know once again that “everything was indeed alright.” Hence My Ultimate Allegiance was and is to Spirit, the Spirit of Joy, Fulfillment, Bliss, Love, Abundance, Prosperity and Peace. So I ask you my positive friend …Where is your Ultimate Allegience? Who is King Gabriel? He is an individual interested in elevating the earth and humanity, bringing fulfillment to the lives of my brothers and sisters. Co-Founder of the Ascension Academy of LIght, Spiritual Teacher, Healer and Practitioner, best-selling Author, Musician and Engineer. He’s worked alongside the likes of Rev. Michael Beckwith and Rickie, John Gray, Lisa Nichols, Karl Eric Unander (Norwegian Healer), Steve Harvey and Stevie Wonder. He’s also Shared the stage with Chaka Khan, Will I am of the Black Eyed Peas and many Others. Becoming a positive person is more about seeing Yourself as You truly are, and not as the story of Your life has dictated. Discovering yourself and living as him/her is a contribution that matters to everyone in the world. Only you can shine away any darkness that may reside in your mind, and only you can maintain the awareness of the light that is within you. yourself So, it's totally up to you to put in the effort to find your authentic self. It's time to take action now. Connect with me in our Facebook Group so we can move toward what You’re up to in life and speed you along your way. We help Visionaries, Heart-Based Entrepreneurs and Light Leaders to thrive in all areas of life, remember how powerful they are and lead intuitively and exceptionally. Feel free to join our facebook group and connect and let me help you to live a life that has a huge positive impact on the world. Success, Joy and Fulfillment are yours as you become aware of the support that is already within you. Remember, it's never too late to make changes in your life! Join the walk with me on Facebook. Follow Tara and King on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin, or visit their website. Read more from Tara and King! Tara Antler & King Gabriel, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Tara Antler & King Gabriel specialize in Intuitive Healing, Soul Coaching & Spiritual Life Mentoring. They both discovered yoga and meditation, and were guided to walk an awakened path when they were very young. They have dedicated their lives to helping others remember who and what they truly are, become masterful manifestors, activate their Soul's purpose, and experience happy-harmonious relationships! Co-Founders of the Ascension Academy of Light ‒ they empower Families, Light-Workers, and Leaders around the world to consciously create thriving, extraordinary, purpose-led lives!

Written by: Dr. Jeni Wahlig , Executive Contributor Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. Most couples report that communication is the biggest problem in their relationship, so they seek help to communicate better. But the truth is, communication is not the real problem, nor is learning better communication skills the best solution. Underneath communication breakdowns are three more important problems, and until you address these, neither communication nor your relationship will improve in the lasting ways you want and deserve. Communication is not the problem I’ve been working with couples for over a decade, and what I have found is that most couples identify communication as one of the most pressing problems in their relationship. Many couples’ therapists and coaches would agree and thus place a heavy focus on helping couples to improve their communication. I was there once too in my work with couples until I saw that any improvements we made in session didn’t stick in the long run. Despite a lot of learning and practicing more effective listening and speaking skills, couples were still struggling to make ground during difficult conversations. They’d describe feeling as if they were just spinning their wheels and report that their conversations would just end in another blow-up followed by a shutdown. Now, I’ll admit—it’s easy to reason that communication is the problem because it is typically during the process of communication that the real problems manifest and wreak havoc on the relationship. Worse yet, most of us rely on verbal communication as the means by which we resolve problems, express needs, attend to differences and disagreements, and experience both connection and repair with one another. So, if communication is the vehicle by which we address problems in our relationship, and the vehicle isn’t working (so to speak), isn’t it fair to say that fixing the problem of communication would be the most important goal for being able to improve the relationship? Yes, and no. You see, when most people think about “getting better at communicating,” they think about improving their ability to effectively send the message they intend and about developing active listening skills so that their partner can feel more heard. While speaking and listening skills are indeed important, (so much so that we do still teach these in the advanced stages of our couples coaching program ) , they are not enough to make a real difference in your ability to communicate. The reason? Because not having communication skills is not the problem; not being able to use communication skills is the problem. And there are three main “problems” that not only impact one’s ability to communicate effectively but can also cause other problems in the relationship. What you really need to work on 1. Nervous system regulation Your nervous system plays a critical role in how you interact with others . You might have the greatest communication skills in the world, but if your nervous system becomes flooded , you won’t be able to use them. The primary goal of your brain is to keep you alive, and your nervous system is always assessing incoming information for whether it is a threat. This doesn’t always mean a threat to your physical well-being in relationships, although it could. It may also be a threat to your emotional well-being, your sense of self, your hopes and dreams, your expectations, your energy level, your experience of safety and security, or even your faith in the future of the relationship. When something in your relationship—a topic, tone, or even look from your partner—gets identified as a threat, your nervous system is going to activate. Nervous system activation can feel like anything from mild discomfort (annoyance, irritation, anxiety) to a full-out flood (panic, rage, shut-down). As your distress increases and you near the edge of your window of tolerance, you will become less and less able to tap into your consciousness, impulse control, and all of your communication skills. When you cross the line into emotional flooding, your nervous system has gone into full-on self-protection/survival mode. Your reptilian brain has taken over, you move into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn , and effective communication is impossible. These are exactly the moments during which couples experience communication as the problem, when in fact the problem is that they have lost the ability to regulate their nervous system. If you want to be able to communicate effectively and resolve problems, you must be able to stay within a window of tolerance. This doesn’t mean that a difficult conversation will not continue to be difficult or uncomfortable—it will! There’s just no getting around that sometimes. However, if you can regulate your nervous system enough to keep yourself from becoming flooded, you will be much better equipped to share your thoughts clearly and receive your partner’s response with a more open heart. 2. Healing your inner exiles Many of the struggles that arise in relationships (including the struggle of an activated nervous system) do so because our partner’s behavior has activated a part of us that carries unhealed injuries and their accompanying fear and/or shame. No doubt, we all have parts of us that have been hurt, abandoned, or neglected in the past, as well as parts that may fear we are not good enough, that others cannot be trusted, or that love will not last. Because these vulnerable parts are so uncomfortable and distressing to experience, we tend to lock them away and put up defenses and self-protective mechanisms so that we do not have to feel them. World-renowned therapist and creator of Internal Family Systems Therapy , Richard Schwartz, calls these parts of us Exiles . Your exiles have a powerful impact on your ability to experience connection, closeness, and safety with your partner. Carrying the weight and impact of previously unmet needs and hurt caused by people who were supposed to love and care for you, these parts will look to your partner for the love, care, and connection that they so desperately need. However, your partner has their own parts too, and they will inevitably fall short of providing the redemption and healing that your parts so desperately want from them. It is as if your exiles look to your partner to be the life raft that will save them and keep them afloat throughout the turbulent waters of life. The problem is that not only does that position your partner to be the one underwater, but also that your partner’s exiles want you to be their life raft, too. So, you fight and struggle for who gets to be on top, whose needs get to be met, whose story and feelings get to be heard and honored, or whose desires and expectations get priority. As you can imagine, this arrangement is neither very satisfying nor stable for either partner. What we then see happen most often is that each partner blames their partner for the problems in the relationship. They try to communicate their hurt and frustration in hopes that their partner will agree, change, or comply. And when that doesn’t work (as often it doesn’t), they might redirect their frustration at themselves—blame themselves as the problem and try to become whomever they need to be in order to appease their partner. Unfortunately, placing blame is never an effective solution, and eventually, one or both partners become exhausted and conclude that their relationship is inherently flawed and no longer worth being in. The only way out of this unwinnable struggle is to do your own work of attending to and healing the hurts and fears of your inner exiles. In truth, these vulnerable and tender parts of you cannot be healed by anyone else. It is the unconditional love, comfort, and attention that only you can give that your exiles really need. As you begin to heal from within, you release your partner from the burden of having to be your healer. What’s more, you will find a sense of security and stability that is not dependent upon how your partner behaves, thus empowering you to respond to problems more consciously and effectively (and communicate better!) 3. The story you’re telling Our minds make sense of our lives through stories . Each of your inner exiles has a story about what happened to them and how they feel about your partner. When you are in an argument with your partner, you’re telling yourself a story about your relationship and what it means that this argument is happening. When you’re reflecting on a problem or dissatisfaction in your life, there’s a story there. Your stories develop as a result of what you are paying attention to, the beliefs and associations you hold with related experiences, and the meaning you are giving to what is happening now. When couples are struggling in their relationship, there is always a story being told about it, and it’s not an empowering one. They are likely to have gotten into negative sentiment override about their partner and/or their relationship and are experiencing themselves as either the victim or the problem. These stories not only color the lens through which they see their partner, their relationship, and their future together, but also become self-fulfilling prophecies. In our Empowered Accountability work with couples, we help partners to understand the relationship between the stories they are telling and the results they are getting in their relationship. Most people do not realize the way that their story is contributing to the problems that they are having, nor, more importantly, that they can change their story and thus change their experience. Consider an example: Your partner comes home hours late from work without any communication about it. What story would you tell? If you told the story that it was because they must be having an affair, how would your nervous system be feeling? What exiled parts might be activated? How would you communicate with them when they walked through the door? And how do you think that would go? Probably not great, right!? Even if you had later learned that the lateness was because of an accident on the way home and the lack of communication was because their phone had died, it is possible that the damage would already have been done. The problem in this example, as you can see, is neither the partner coming home late, their lack of communication about it, nor the communication that happened when they did. The problem originated in 1) the story that was told about the partner’s lateness, 2) the triggering of an exiled part in response, and 3) the emotional dysregulation that occurred and prevented you from being able to communicate with the calm, curious, caring, and connecting energy that would have been ideal. If, in this example, you had become aware of the story you were telling yourself and were then able to shift the story by asking yourself empowering questions , like “If I give my partner the benefit of the doubt, why else might this be happening?” chances are high that the outcome would have been much better. Learning how to notice and consciously shift the story you are telling when you are feeling upset in your relationship is a key skill with the potential to improve things dramatically ‒ and you don’t even need to communicate! The power to improve your relationship What if you knew how to tell a different story about the problems in your relationship, had skills for taking care of your vulnerable exiles when they arise, and were much better able to stay within your window of tolerance even when you were activated? Likely, you’d be much more effective at using the vehicle of communication to resolve problems in your relationship. Better yet, as we’ve seen, you’d also be a lot less likely to have fewer problems in the first place! So, as important as communication certainly is, it’s not where your power lies. Your real power for changing and improving your relationship comes from within—from the work that you do within yourself to grow your window of tolerance and regulate your nervous system, to heal and comfort your inner exiles, and to be aware of and consciously choose the stories you’re telling yourself within your relationship. Doing this inner work is not easy, and we encourage you to consider finding the support of a therapist or coach to support you along your journey. In our work with couples, attention to these three pillars of inner work is foundational to what we teach and how we support our clients. I invite you to learn more about our work by checking out our website . For more great information and tips for improving your relationship(s), join our mailing list and follow us on Facebook , Instagram , and TikTok . Read more from Dr. Jeni! Dr. Jeni Wahlig, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Dr. Jeni Wahlig (she/they) is a transformational relationship coach, licensed couple & family therapist, teacher, author, & public speaker. She identifies as graysexual queer, genderqueer-femme, polyamorous, white, able-bodied, & a parent. Self-proclaimed “relationship nerd,” Jeni has dedicated her career to studying relationships & supporting couples, particularly within the Queer & Trans communities. In partnership with her soulmate, Calvin Osili, Jeni offers critically conscious relationship education & coaching through their business, PowerfuLove. Their mission is to empower couples with the knowledge and skills they need to move beyond struggles & consciously create an extraordinary relationship.