Duane Haynes is an author and “fellow” of the inspirational poetry book “To Flourish, God is the Light, We are its Spectrum”. This inspirational poetry book is sold worldwide and is available in English, French, Spanish, eBook, and on an album “ To Flourish ”. He has over 1,119,317 reviews of 5 Stars of Excellent and “Most Popular Book” by Trustpilot. Duane Haynes, Ordained and Anointed Prophet and Poet Who is Duane Haynes? I was born in Denver, Colorado. I was born with a twin brother whose name was Darrell. I have two other brothers and a younger sister. I hold a BA in Technical Writing from Metropolitan State College in Denver, Colorado. Can you tell us about the key message in your book “To flourish, god is the light, we are its spectrum” and how it resonates with readers? I don’t consider my poems and pairables a message but a gift from God to help readers find their pathway to realizing their purpose in life and the way home. The inspirational poems and pairables in my book help readers find their reason for their life here on earth and the purpose God has for them. What inspired you to start writing at such a young age, and how has your journey shaped your work today? At the age of 12, I had a life-threatening accident that placed me in a coma for about 3 days. When I came to, I realized that I had changed. I remembered being in a place I knew in my heart as Heaven. “God showed me all of Heaven and Love. He then told me what I must do, and gave me a gift and said,” Go back into the world and give them this gift, tell them so that they can find their pathway to the way home”. About two months later, I began writing poems, and what I wrote confounded those close to me. The insight and depth in my writings were beyond their comprehension at such a young age. To some, my poems were prophecies, and to others, insights. For me, it was sharing my gift. I continued to write with a higher perspective and greater love for God. With my poems and pairables, I try to get readers to look at themselves and others through the eyes of God, hoping to make a change in their lives. How do you describe your unique approach to writing, and what makes your poetry stand out? My writings are inspired and written in a unique way. I would go to sleep, and late at night I would wake up, write a poem, and go back to sleep. My poems and writings are inspired by God. Each poem was written to be given to someone to answer their prayers and to guide them during their trials and tribulations. God instructs me to put the poem in an envelope, and later he tells me who to give the poem to when that person is put in my path. Each person knew in some way that this was supposed to happen and accepted the poem with anticipation. It’s like they knew. I guess my poetry stands out because it’s supposed to. Your works are often referred to as prophetic; how do you interpret this in relation to your mission? Writing my poems and completing my part by giving them to the person they were intended for, remembering what God told me. “Go back to the world and tell them, so that they can find their pathway to the way home”. Each poem was given to the person I believe God placed in my pathway, and I must stay obedient in God's will. Can you share a pivotal moment from your life that continues to influence your writing and personal philosophy? Everyday God shows me new revelations and insights on life, purpose, prophecies, pairables, and poems. This is the gifts God has given me to use as a part of the body of Christ. Because I’ve been to Heave and learned the way home, my poems and pairables can help others find their pathway to their way home. How do you believe your experience, including your near-death experience, has shaped your spiritual and literary voice? After meeting God and receiving his gift. I realized that it was a greater gift to actually meet and touch God in spirit, see Heaven, experience true love, and then be given the opportunity to come back and help others find their pathway to the way home. That is a gift in itself. What role do you see your writings play in helping others understand the deeper aspects of life and the divine? I believe my writings are inspired by God. These inspirational prophetic poems and pairables, when read by others, remind them that God knows what they are going through and gives them revelations and prophecies to help them. God reminds us that he has never forsaken us and shows us in my poetry. Too many times we feel God has forgotten us and lets us handle our problems on our own, forgetting who we are and whose we are. Then we believe that and feel lost with no identity or purpose in our lives, and give up. Reading my inspirational poetry book “To Flourish, God is the Light, We are its Spectrum” helps readers find themselves, their purpose, and reminds them that God is always with them. You’ve spoken at numerous schools and universities; how do you approach inspiring young writers through your lectures? My lectures at schools and university centers around my statement,” What You Write Matters”. I believe that writers are gifted because not everyone can be a writer. I inspire writers to use their gift to write what is positive and true, no matter what. Write to inspire others in hope, peace, and happiness. Writers can take an emotion. Write it on paper, and the reader can get that same emotion out of it. That is the gift writers have. I tell writers to use their gift to help others see and experience life in a positive way. Can you explain the impact your poetry and plays have on your audience and how it encourages personal growth? My inspirational prophetic poems and pairables in my poetry book “To Flourish, God is the Light, We are it’s Spectrum”, has impacted audiences and readers around the world. I have over 1,119,317 reviews of the “Excellent and Most Popular Book” by Trustpilot. My book is available in English, French, Spanish, paperback, audiobooks, e-books, and on an album [To Flourish]. The impact of these poems is expressed worldwide in positive ways. My inspirational poetry book has been nominated “Best Nonfiction Inspirational Poetry Book in the World,” “Best Nonfiction Poetry Book in the World,” and listed in “1000 Leaders of World Influence” by the International Biographical Centre in Cambridge, England. Readers have found answers to their prayers and helped them find purpose, meaning, fulfillment, and God's purpose for them in their lives. My plays give audiences the experience of the life of Christ and God’s greatness. My performances and presentations of my poetry at programs and functions leave audiences in “aha” moments and are overwhelmed by the revelations and insights revealed to them. What advice would you give to inspiring writers looking to connect their work with deeper spiritual meaning? My advice to inspiring writers is to use your gifts to encourage others to be the best that they can be with faith and hope. Seek and write the truth using the gifts given to you by God in poetry, prose, plays, novels, songs, etc. Leave your readers with encouragement, hope, peace, a feeling of belonging in believing better of themselves by knowing there is a purpose for their lives, and knowing that God is with them always. How can your teaching and writing help individuals and communities experience greater awareness and transformation? My inspirational prophetic poems and pairables inspired by God give readers and communities hope in knowing that God is in control and putting their trust in him. My writings inspire readers to not give up because God has not given up on them, no matter what. Your best days are not behind you but in front of you, and they are yet to come. Be who God wants you to be and do. For when two or more are gathered in his name. He will be with us all. Follow me on Facebook and Instagram for more info! Read more from Duane Haynes

Written by Alex Mellor-Brook , Co-Founder of Select Personal Introductions Alex Mellor-Brook is an Accredited Matchmaker, Relationship Coach, and leading media expert on modern relationships, featured across international TV, radio, podcasts, and press. With 28+ years’ experience, he is Co-founder of Select Personal Introductions and Vice Chair of the UK’s dating industry governing body. Family relationships are meant to provide safety, belonging, and unconditional support. Yet, for a growing number of adults, family ties become a source of emotional distress rather than comfort. Family estrangement, the decision to limit or completely end contact with a close relative, is one of the most painful and misunderstood experiences a person can face. With recent media attention on high-profile family rifts involving well-known public figures, including ongoing speculation around the Beckham family, the topic has entered mainstream conversation. These stories often spark strong opinions, but behind every public narrative lies a deeply personal psychological reality. This article explores family estrangement from a balanced, evidence-based perspective, offering insight, understanding, and practical tools for those navigating fractured family relationships, whether they hope to repair them or need to step away for their own well-being. What is family estrangement? Family estrangement refers to the physical, emotional, or psychological distancing between family members, often involving prolonged or permanent loss of contact. Unlike temporary fallouts, estrangement typically follows long-standing relational difficulties and unresolved emotional pain. Estrangement can occur between parents and adult children, siblings, or extended family members. It may be mutual or initiated by one party, and it is rarely impulsive. Most people report making repeated attempts to repair the relationship before deciding that distance is necessary. How common is family estrangement? Despite its taboo nature, estrangement is far from rare. Research consistently suggests that approximately one in four adults is estranged from at least one close family member. In the UK, family estrangement charities report a rise in adults seeking support for long-term parental and sibling estrangement. Importantly, estrangement cuts across age, gender, class, and culture. It is not a modern phenomenon, but social media and public discourse have made it more visible, particularly when celebrity families experience conflict in the public eye. Why do families become estranged? There is no single cause of estrangement. Instead, it develops through cumulative emotional experiences that erode trust over time. Common contributing factors include: Long-term emotional invalidation or criticism Controlling or boundary-violating behaviour Unresolved conflict and repeated misunderstandings Differences in values, identity, or lifestyle Perceived lack of emotional safety Often, estrangement occurs not because of one dramatic incident, but because a final interaction becomes the moment when one person realises they can no longer sustain the relationship without harm to themselves or their wider family. Narcissism, control, and power dynamics In some families, power imbalances play a significant role. Psychological research highlights that relationships marked by excessive control, lack of empathy, or rigid authority can become increasingly damaging in adulthood. While the term narcissism is frequently used in popular culture, clinically it refers to patterns of behaviour characterised by an excessive need for control, difficulty tolerating independence in others, and limited capacity for emotional reciprocity. In parent-child dynamics, this can manifest as resistance to a child’s autonomy, guilt-based manipulation, or emotional withdrawal when control is challenged. It is important to note that labelling is not always helpful, what matters most is how behaviour impacts emotional wellbeing. The cumulative effect: When one moment tips the scale Many estranged adults describe a buildup of emotional injuries rather than a single cause. Over time, repeated boundary violations or unresolved conflicts can lead to emotional exhaustion. Eventually, one interaction, a phone call, a comment, a refusal to listen, becomes the point at which continuing the relationship feels more harmful than ending it. This moment is rarely about anger alone, it is often about self-preservation. Different narratives within the same family One of the most painful aspects of estrangement is that each family member may hold a different version of events. These narratives are shaped by personal experiences, emotional needs, and long-standing family roles. It is common for people on both sides to feel they have been hurt the most. From a psychological perspective, multiple truths can coexist. Understanding this does not require agreement, but it can reduce hostility and allow space for compassion, even without reconciliation. The impact on wider family relationships Estrangement rarely affects just two people. Siblings, partners, children, and extended family members often feel caught in the middle. Some may take sides, others may withdraw, and some may pressure reconciliation without fully understanding the emotional cost involved. This can create secondary losses, where people grieve not only the estranged relationship but also changes in family gatherings, traditions, and support systems. Mediation: Listening to understand, not to respond When reconciliation is attempted, mediation can be valuable, but only when all parties are emotionally safe and willing. Effective mediation focuses on listening to understand rather than listening to defend or retaliate. Without this mindset, attempts at reconciliation can reinforce existing wounds rather than heal them. Social media, boundaries, and when to block In the digital age, estrangement is complicated by online visibility. Social media can reopen emotional wounds, invite comparison, or expose people to public commentary on private pain. Blocking or muting family members online is not necessarily an act of hostility. For many, it is a temporary or permanent boundary that supports emotional regulation and healing. Is reconciliation always the goal? There is a widespread belief that family reconciliation is always the healthiest outcome. Psychologically, this is not always true. While some estranged relationships do find a way back through accountability, changed behaviour, and mutual respect, others remain unsafe. Healing does not always require reunion. For some, peace comes from acceptance, boundaries, and building chosen family relationships elsewhere. Can there be a way back, and should there be? When reconciliation is possible, it usually requires: A willingness on all sides to reflect and take responsibility Respect for boundaries Realistic expectations, rather than a return to how things once were There is no universal rule about who should make the first move. What matters is not who reaches out, but whether any contact prioritises emotional safety and genuine understanding. Moving forward with clarity and compassion Family estrangement is not a failure of love. Often, it exists because love was present but could not thrive under the conditions imposed. By approaching estrangement with nuance rather than judgement, people can make informed decisions that protect their well-being, whether that means rebuilding bridges slowly or closing a chapter with dignity. Moving forward If you are navigating family estrangement, know that your experience is valid. Support, therapy, and reflective work can help you process your grief, set boundaries, and move forward with confidence, whatever path you choose. Understanding family estrangement equips us all to respond with empathy rather than assumption, and to recognise that sometimes, walking away is not giving up, it is choosing to survive. For those navigating complex family dynamics or the impact estrangement can have on relationships, support can be valuable. Relationship coaching can offer space to reflect, rebuild trust, and move forward in a way that feels healthy and intentional. Follow me on Facebook ,   Instagram , and visit my LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Alex Mellor-Brook Alex Mellor-Brook , Co-Founder of Select Personal Introductions Alex Mellor-Brook is one of the UK’s leading voices on love and modern relationships. He is the Co-founder of Select Personal Introductions, a multi-award-winning dating and matchmaking agency supporting elite singles across the UK and worldwide. With over 28 years of experience, Alex is an Accredited International Matchmaker and Science-based Relationship Coach, known for blending empathy, strategy, and science to help professionals, entrepreneurs, and public figures build lasting relationships. His expertise is regularly featured across international TV, radio, and press. As Vice Chair of the UK’s dating industry governing body, he also champions higher standards, ethics, and professionalism. Support and help resources: Mind 0300 123 3393 StandAlone Email: contact@standalone.org.uk Samaritans 116 123 (24/7, free) Email : jo@samaritans.org PEAK Support Network Further reading: What Research Tells Us About Family Estrangement How a Narcissist Can Push a Family to Estrangement

Written by Cherie Rivas, Transformational Therapies & Coaching Specialist Cherie Rivas is a Transformational Therapies and Coaching Specialist who guides her clients to reconnect with their purpose, reignite their passion, and reclaim their power. By blending psychology, breathwork, NLP, hypnotherapy, and somatic healing practices, her clients are able to break through limitations and unleash their highest potential. Transforming reactivity into revelation, and pain into power. There’s a moment we all know too well, that quick rush of heat in the body when something or someone hits a nerve. Words blur, the breath shortens, and logic dissolves into a tide of emotion that feels impossible to stop. It’s in those moments that it’s easy to think we’ve failed some invisible test of emotional control, but what if these reactions aren’t signs of weakness at all? What if they’re messages, sacred messengers guiding us toward parts of ourselves we’ve long forgotten to love? To live consciously is not to avoid being triggered, it’s to learn from what our triggers reveal. Every emotional flash, every surge of defensiveness or withdrawal, is an invitation to deeper self-awareness. Beneath each reaction lies a story, one that, if understood, can expand our emotional intelligence, our empathy, and ultimately, our capacity for authentic connection.   The hidden curriculum of emotion We are not born emotionally intelligent, we become so through experience. Emotional intelligence grows in the soil of self-awareness, and few experiences fertilise that soil more richly than our triggers. These moments expose the gap between who we believe ourselves to be and what still lives unhealed beneath the surface. This hidden terrain is ‘the shadow,’ the collection of traits, emotions, and desires we repress to fit in, stay safe, or remain loved. It’s not our darkness but our unintegrated humanity, the anger we were told was unacceptable, the sensitivity we learned to hide, the power we were afraid to claim. Over time, these exiled parts take on lives of their own, waiting for moments of vulnerability to reappear. When something triggers us, it’s often the shadow stepping forward, saying, “Please, see me now.” The person who dismisses us might awaken an old wound of invisibility, or the colleague who exudes confidence may mirror the self-assurance we abandoned. These aren’t coincidences, they’re opportunities for integration.   From reactivity to awareness The bridge between shadow and emotional intelligence is awareness. Yet in the heat of the moment, awareness is rarely our first instinct. Our nervous system, conditioned by past pain, leaps to defence before our higher reasoning can intervene. The body remembers what the mind forgets. This is why nervous system regulation is the foundation of emotional growth. When we’re triggered, our physiology floods with signals of threat, our heart races, muscles tighten, and focus narrows. In this state, emotional intelligence temporarily shuts down empathy, and reflection requires safety. The first step, therefore, is not to analyse the trigger but to anchor ourselves. Breathe, ground, soften. By restoring safety in the body, we create space for awareness to re-enter. Once calm, we can begin to explore. What is this reaction showing me? What part of me feels unseen or unsafe?  Curiosity dissolves defensiveness, and what once felt like an attack begins to feel like a revelation, a conversation with the self we’ve been too busy to hear.   The teacher within the trigger Every emotional reaction contains information. Anger can point to where our boundaries have been crossed or ignored. Jealousy might reveal where we’ve abandoned our own potential. Shame often guards the threshold of authenticity, a signal that something in us longs to be met with compassion rather than critique. When we approach triggers as teachers, we shift from self-judgment to self-inquiry. Instead of suppressing or performing composure, we begin to engage our emotions consciously. This is where emotional intelligence deepens, not in the absence of emotion, but in the ability to interpret its wisdom. Shadow work makes this possible by turning the mirror inward. We stop asking, “Why did they make me feel this way?” and start asking, “What is this showing me about myself?” That single reframe transforms reactivity into reflection, and reflection into growth.   Perception, projection, and the mirrors we meet Our triggers often appear through other people, and it’s here that shadow work most clearly refines emotional intelligence. Every perception is a reflection of what we react to in others, often revealing what remains unresolved within ourselves. Perhaps the friend who seems too needy mirrors the vulnerability we suppress. The partner who avoids conflict might echo our own fear of confrontation. The colleague who takes up too much space may remind us of our own silenced voice. Each judgment, each irritation, each emotional spike offers a mirror not to shame us, but to illuminate the parts still seeking reconciliation. This recognition expands empathy, the cornerstone of emotional intelligence. When we see that everyone is reacting from their own unhealed stories, compassion naturally replaces judgment, and what once triggered defensiveness now invites understanding. Emotional intelligence, in this light, is less about control and more about connection.   Integration: Where awareness becomes wisdom Awareness alone is not enough, it must be integrated. Integration means welcoming home the parts of ourselves we once rejected, not to indulge them, but to understand them. It’s the moment when the trigger no longer hijacks us because the wound beneath it has been met with love. Growth through our triggers is not a one-time revelation but a cyclical process of self-awareness, acceptance, reconciliation, integration, and embodiment.   Self-awareness: recognising when we’re emotionally activated. Acceptance: meeting that reaction without judgment. Reconciliation: exploring the story or wound behind it and restoring inner harmony. Integration: insight becomes lived understanding, embracing the lessons and gifts. Embodiment: emotional intelligence expressed effortlessly through presence and behaviour. Each time we move through this sequence, our emotional capacity expands. We become less reactive, more discerning, more attuned, not because life stops challenging us, but because we no longer lose ourselves in the challenge. Integrated emotional intelligence is not about staying calm at all costs. It’s about staying conscious in the midst of emotion, feeling deeply without drowning, expressing honestly without harm, and responding with choice rather than compulsion.   The spiritual thread: Wholeness through awareness Although shadow work is anchored in psychology, its destination is spiritual. To meet our triggers with presence is to walk the path of wholeness, the reunion of the fragmented self. Each time we turn toward our discomfort with compassion, we reclaim lost energy and return to authenticity. This is emotional alchemy, transforming the lead of unconscious emotion into the gold of awareness. From this perspective, emotional intelligence is not just a skill but a state of consciousness, the recognition that every emotional wave, no matter how turbulent, can return us to stillness if we meet it with awareness.   The gift beneath the reaction In time, we come to see that our triggers were never enemies, they were invitations. Each one pointed us toward something sacred, the parts of ourselves that wanted to be understood, loved, or liberated. When we engage with our emotional life this way, we stop chasing perfection and start cultivating authenticity. We listen more deeply, respond more thoughtfully, and meet life with an open heart rather than a guarded one. That is emotional intelligence in its truest form, not polished restraint, but embodied awareness. Our triggers teach us where love has not yet reached. They guide us from reaction to reflection, from separation to connection, from self-protection to self-mastery. And as we learn their language, discomfort becomes a doorway not to who we should be, but to who we’ve always been beneath the noise. Follow me on Facebook , Instagram , LinkedIn , and visit my website for more info! Read more from Cherie Rivas Cherie Rivas, Transformational Therapies & Coaching Specialist Cherie Rivas is a Transformational Therapies and Coaching Specialist with a passion for shadow work. With nearly 20 years of corporate leadership experience and expertise in psychology, breathwork, NLP, and energetic healing, she helps her clients reclaim their power and purpose. Through her unique blend of traditional and complementary modalities, Cherie guides her clients to break free from limitations, step into their fullest potential, and create a deeply fulfilling life. She has also been a featured speaker for the Women Thrive Global Online Summit, sharing her insights on empowerment and transformation.

To Flourish: Duane pen lines of love and radiates compassion Born under an indigo Denver sky, Duane E. Haynes entered the world ten minutes after his identical twin, as part of a vibrant family of five children. Little did anyone know that this young boy's life trajectory was to take a dramatic turn. A fall that nearly took Duane's life at the tender age of twelve spontaneously reshaped his future as an acclaimed writer and gift-bearer. Yet, the journey was not easy. Torn by the complexity of existence, he wrote through darkness and discord. But as dark clouds always part, Duane re-emerged with a revitalized heart, his writings beautifully reflecting his evolution. In these tumultuous times, when positivity is most needed, a beacon of hope shines bright between the pages of a book that speaks directly to the soul. "To Flourish" is a poetry collection that offers readers a refreshing dose of optimism and resilience in a world that often feels dark and uncertain. "To Flourish" is more than just a piece of literary art; it's an embodiment of hope, an ode to every individual's ability to transform their own lives. This special anthology is a must-read for those seeking solace, self-discovery, and the unwavering courage required to forge their own path in this complex world. Duane E. Haynes's life story inspires awe, rekindling faith in the power of resilience. His near-death experience and the aftermath shine through his craft, giving hope, insight, or prophecy depending on the reader's perspective. But above all, it symbolizes Duane sharing his divine gift with the world. Mr. Haynes' accomplishments include "Outstanding Man of the Century," "1000 Leaders of World Influence," "2000 Outstanding Intellectuals of the 20th Century," by the International Biographical Centre in Cambridge, England and "Who’s Who in the World, 2000," by Marquis, NJ. Duane has also been honored with his "Fellow" (FABI) and "Order of International Ambassador" (OIA) by the American Biographical Institute in North Carolina, USA, in the year 2000. Get to know more about the author by visiting www.toflourishhdh.com. Duane Haynes Executive Contributor Author Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. DO I QUALIFY? Duane Haynes Author To Flourish: Duane pen lines of love and radiates compassion Born under an indigo Denver sky, Duane E. Haynes entered the world ten minutes after his identical twin, as part of a vibrant family of five children. Little did anyone know that this young boy's life trajectory was to take a dramatic turn. A fall that nearly took Duane's life at the tender age of twelve spontaneously reshaped his future as an acclaimed writer and gift-bearer. Yet, the journey was not easy. Torn by the complexity of existence, he wrote through darkness and discord. But as dark clouds always part, Duane re-emerged with a revitalized heart, his writings beautifully reflecting his evolution. In these tumultuous times, when positivity is most needed, a beacon of hope shines bright between the pages of a book that speaks directly to the soul. "To Flourish" is a poetry collection that offers readers a refreshing dose of optimism and resilience in a world that often feels dark and uncertain. "To Flourish" is more than just a piece of literary art; it's an embodiment of hope, an ode to every individual's ability to transform their own lives. This special anthology is a must-read for those seeking solace, self-discovery, and the unwavering courage required to forge their own path in this complex world. Duane E. Haynes's life story inspires awe, rekindling faith in the power of resilience. His near-death experience and the aftermath shine through his craft, giving hope, insight, or prophecy depending on the reader's perspective. But above all, it symbolizes Duane sharing his divine gift with the world. Mr. Haynes' accomplishments include "Outstanding Man of the Century," "1000 Leaders of World Influence," "2000 Outstanding Intellectuals of the 20th Century," by the International Biographical Centre in Cambridge, England and "Who’s Who in the World, 2000," by Marquis, NJ. Duane has also been honored with his "Fellow" (FABI) and "Order of International Ambassador" (OIA) by the American Biographical Institute in North Carolina, USA, in the year 2000. Get to know more about the author by visiting www.toflourishhdh.com . All articles LOAD MORE CREA Global Awards presented to Duane Haynes Author The CREA Global Awards is proudly presented to the honoree by the Brainz Magazine Selection Committee, in recognition for their creative and innovative ideas, adaptability in business, or for their contributions to sustainability and mental health projects. Caroline Winkvist Editor-In-Chief Daniel Ålund Selection Committee Brainz 500 Global Awards presented to Duane Haynes Author Brainz 500 Global Awards is proudly presented to the honoree by the Brainz Magazine Selection Committee, in recognition of their entrepreneurial success, achievements, and dedication to helping others. Caroline Winkvist Editor-In-Chief Fredrik Elfqvist Selection Committee Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise. DO I QUALIFY?

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