Why Quick Fixes Don’t Work and What to Do Instead for Lasting Personal Growth
- Brainz Magazine
- 11 hours ago
- 11 min read
Written by Charlotte Phelps, Founder
Charlotte Phelps, Founder of The Alchemy of Being, transformed her life from a terminal prognosis into a mission to empower others. She offers tools and insights, born from her own journey, for personal growth and holistic health, helping individuals curate their unique 'Toolbelt for Life'.
Ever feel like you’re searching for quick fixes to happiness or wellbeing, only to end up overwhelmed and stuck? The truth is, there’s no single answer. Life is always changing, and so are you. In this article, I’ll show you why building your own “toolbelt for life” is the key to real, lasting personal growth. You’ll discover how to curate the skills, habits, and resources that work for you, so that you can meet each moment with confidence and ease.
What is a toolbelt for life?
Life isn’t one-size-fits-all. Each of us faces different challenges, and we all have our own desires and dreams. Yet we’re often told there’s a single answer or a perfect solution to living well. The truth is, thriving in life is much more like being a skilled craftsperson than a flat-pack assembler. A craftsperson never relies on just one tool. They keep a whole toolbelt at their side, ready to pick the right tool for each unique job.
Every day brings something new, and who we are changes as we move through life. What worked for you last year might not fit today. I’ve learned this through my health journey, which has been full of trial, error, and discovery. That’s exactly why the idea of a toolbelt for life works so well. It’s about building up your own collection of skills, habits, resources, and perspectives-the things you can reach for as you grow, face challenges, or want to enjoy life more fully. If you’d like a deeper dive into this concept, I’ve also shared more in this short video that brings the toolbelt for life to life.
It’s not about finding one magic answer. It’s about having a range of options, so you’re ready for whatever life brings and whoever you’re becoming. This is at the heart of The Alchemy of Being, and it’s why we believe curation always beats quick fixes.
Why quick fixes fall short for personal growth
We live in a world that sells us instant gratification. Quick fixes and silver bullets are everywhere, promising overnight transformation or a single solution to complex challenges. But real, sustainable change is rarely that simple.
Sometimes, it does feel like you stumble onto a magic quick fix: you try a new practice or tool, and suddenly things start to click. But if you look closer, it’s almost always because of all the groundwork you’ve already done. That tool is more like the last straw that made the camel’s back strong enough – not the straw that broke it That new tool only works because of the layers you’ve built up from everything you tried before. Each step, even the ones that seemed to fail, that didn’t seem to ‘work’, played a part in your personal growth and in getting you ready for that breakthrough.
Curation is about recognising that your journey is unique and layered. It’s not about chasing the next shiny thing or expecting a one-size-fits-all answer. Instead, it’s about thoughtfully selecting, testing, and integrating tools that fit you right now, while honouring the work you’ve already done. The art is in seeing how each piece fits with the rest. Sometimes what feels like a sudden win is really the result of patient, ongoing curation.
So, rather than searching for a miracle solution, see your growth as a process of layering and refining. Every tool, every attempt, and every lesson adds to your personal toolbelt, making you more prepared for whatever comes next.
Layering: The secret to sustainable personal growth
Our needs change as we move through life. What helps us today might not be what we need tomorrow. Sometimes, a tool that once felt essential fades into the background, while something that didn’t work before suddenly becomes just what we need.
Take my experience with Dr Joe Dispenza’s meditations. The first time I tried them; I just couldn’t get on board. His way of speaking just made me giggle, and every time I tried, I’d lose focus and come out of my meditative state. But eight years later, I came back to his work. By then, I’d built up other skills like quietening my mind and finding my centre. With those in place, his meditations became transformative for me. I wasn’t ready the first time, but the groundwork I’d done over the years made all the difference.
It’s the same with physical tools. For years, I relied on an infrared sauna bag to help manage pain and inflammation. I used it religiously, three times a week, and it worked well for me. Then something shifted. I didn’t enjoy the process anymore and found myself drawn to Epsom salt baths and lying on an acupressure mat instead. These new tools gave me the same benefits in a way that suited where I was at that time. My sauna bag has been in the cupboard for two years now, but I know its value and I’m sure it’ll make a comeback when I need it again.
Layering is about building up a range of tools and knowing that your needs will keep evolving. It’s about being open to revisiting things you’ve tried before and letting go of what no longer serves you, for now. Growth is never linear. The key is to keep adding, adapting, and curating your toolbelt so it always supports the person you are becoming.
How to curate your own toolbelt
Curating your toolbelt is not a one-off task. It’s a living process that grows and shifts with you. Here’s how to approach it, step by step, across all areas of your life:
1. Reflection
Start by checking in with yourself. What are your current challenges? Where do you feel stuck or stretched? What’s working well, and what feels off? Honest reflection helps you see what you need right now – not what you “should” need, or what worked for someone else.
2. Exploration
Once you know what you’re looking for, start exploring. This isn’t about trying something once and making a snap judgement. Many tools and practices need time before you really feel their impact. Try a new meditation for a fortnight or stick with a new movement practice for a month. Give yourself permission to experiment, repeat, and notice how things feel over time. Sometimes you’ll get an instant ‘yes’, but more often it’s the tenth try, not the first, that reveals a tool’s true value.
3. Selection
Not everything will fit, and that’s okay. The key is to notice what genuinely resonates with you, but only after you’ve given it a fair chance. Ask yourself: What feels natural? What gives you energy or brings relief or clarity? These questions matter, but timing is everything. Sometimes it takes repeated practice before you can really answer them. Trust your process and remember that some tools need to settle in before you can decide if they belong in your toolbelt.
4. Integration
A tool only works if you use it. Integration is about weaving your chosen tools into your real, everyday life – turning them from ideas into habits. This is where the real transformation happens. Building a new habit takes intention and patience. It’s not about overhauling your routine overnight but finding simple, realistic ways to use your tools regularly. Maybe it’s a five-minute breathing exercise each morning, a creative session once a week, or a regular walk in nature. The key is consistency, not perfection.
If you want to dive deeper into the science of habit formation and learn how to make new practices stick, check out our Habit eBook.
Remember, integration is about making your toolbelt truly useful – one small, steady habit at a time.
5. Adaptation
Life changes, and so do you. What’s on your toolbelt today might not serve you in 3 months. Stay open to swapping things out, trying something new, or returning to an old favourite when the time is right. Adaptation is what keeps your toolbelt relevant and useful.
Curated inspiration: What’s in our toolbelt right now
Everyone’s toolbelt for life is unique. What works for one person might not work for another, and that’s the beauty of curation. Instead of giving you a prescriptive list, I want to offer a window into what’s currently working for me and the Alchemists here at The Alchemy of Being.
Think of these as inspiration, not instruction. Use them as prompts for your own exploration, and remember: your needs, preferences, and timing are your own.
MindEveryone at The Alchemy of Being meditates, but none of us do it in quite the same way. Vicky loves Dr. Dispenza’s Walking meditations. Sally tunes in to the healing sounds of Jonathan Goldman and practices heart-brain coherence breathing to find calm and focus. Charlotte prefers to use her in-harmony meditation cushion, blending sound healing with guided meditations.
This is a great example of how even one tool – like meditation – can look completely different from person to person. The key is to explore, experiment, and find the version that feels right for you. There’s no single correct way; it’s about discovering what helps your mind feel clear, centred, and resilient.
Body
This is where you’ll probably see the biggest differences in toolbelts. For some of us, intense physical movement is essential. Nicky thrives on CrossFit, loving the challenge and the energy it brings. Mole is happiest cycling, clocking up miles, and soaking in the scenery. Sally prefers the gentle, flowing movements of Xiang Gong, which help her feel balanced and calm. Ben loves a spot of cold immersion swimming. For Charlotte, as she is doing EDS, movement has had to become softer – long gone are her days of hockey and tennis now a softer gentle walk in nature with her dog is what feels best.
Physical self-care goes beyond movement. For some, it’s the ritual of a facemask or a pedicure, or the simple pleasure of body brushing. Others might have a skincare routine that helps them feel refreshed and cared for. These small acts can be just as important as exercise when it comes to feeling good in your body.
And of course, what we eat, and how we sleep plays a massive role in how we feel. We won’t go into detail here, but everyone knows the difference when they eat something that truly nourishes them and when they’ve had a good night’s sleep.
The point is there’s no single right way to look after your body. Your needs and preferences will shift, and that’s perfectly natural. The real skill is listening to your body and curating the practices that support your wellbeing, whatever that looks like for you.
SoulWhen it comes to the soul, it’s all about what brings you joy. The things that light you up and make you feel truly alive are unique to you, and that’s exactly how it should be. What your soul aches for is often the thing that brings a smile to your face, a sense of peace, or a burst of excitement.
For Sally, it’s dancing on tables and letting go in the moment. Charlotte finds her joy in cooking up a feast and sharing it with friends and family. Ben’s soul lights up when he’s being creative, writing meditations, and sharing his knowledge with others. For Nicky, nothing beats the joy of sharing first-time experiences with her kids.
There are endless ways to fill the soul pocket of your toolbelt. It might be painting, singing, writing, or spending time in nature. It could be heartfelt conversations, laughter with friends, or simply sitting quietly and feeling grateful. The important thing is to notice what brings you joy and make space for it, however big or small.
Your soul’s needs are intensely personal. Let your joy lead the way and keep curating your toolbelt with whatever makes your spirit soar.
These are just a few examples from our toolbelts currently. They’re not the answer, but they might spark something for you. The real art is in noticing what you’re drawn to, giving it a fair try, and being open to what feels right for you.
Your toolbelt will look different, and that’s exactly how it should be.
Common challenges on the curation journey
The journey of curating your own toolbelt isn’t always smooth or straightforward. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of options out there. There are so many books, podcasts, courses, and modalities, each promising to be the answer. Sometimes, this abundance leads to ‘analysis paralysis’ – you end up stuck, unsure where to start or what to try next.
Impatience is another common hurdle. It’s natural to want quick results, especially when you’re struggling. You might try something for a few days, not see instant change, and move on. Or you might fall into the trap of believing there’s one perfect tool out there, and if you just keep searching, you’ll find it, and everything will fall into place. The reality is, that growth and healing rarely work like that.
It’s also normal to feel frustrated when a tool that worked for someone else doesn’t seem to work for you. This can lead to self-doubt or the sense that you’re doing it wrong. But the truth is, your journey is unique. What supports someone else might not suit you, and that’s not a failure – it’s just information to help you refine your approach.
I remember a time when I was sure that finding the perfect diet would solve everything. I jumped from one eating plan to another, keto, paleo, intermittent fasting, low-carb, vegan, you name it, hoping each new approach would be the answer. I’d get frustrated when I didn’t see instant results, or when something that worked for someone else didn’t work for me. It took me a while to realise that there isn’t one magic way to eat well. The real progress came from paying attention to how different foods made me feel and making small changes that suited me, not just following the latest trend.
So, if you ever feel lost, impatient, or overwhelmed, know that you’re not alone. The curation journey is life-long, and it’s meant to evolve as you do. Be kind and patient with yourself, stay curious, and trust that every step – even the frustrating ones – is moving you forward. Your toolbelt is yours to build, at your own pace, in your own way.
But hey, there’s no stigma or negativity in choosing to ask for help either. Sometimes, having someone to talk things through with can make all the difference. If you want to chat about where you are, what you’ve tried, and what you could be missing, why not book a one-to-one? I offer personalised Alchemy Sessions where I help you curate your unique toolbelt. Book your session here.
Curating your own path to lasting personal growth
You’re already on your journey. The real question isn’t whether you’ll take the next step, but how you’ll shape it. Curation is about noticing what’s working, being open to new ideas, and choosing what feels right for you over time. There’s no finish line – just an ongoing process of discovery and refinement.
If you’d like some support or inspiration as you curate your toolbelt, here are a few ways The Alchemy of Being can help:
Check out our Wellness Wiki and Resource Centre for insights and specific modalities.
Feeling overwhelmed by all the options? You’re not alone. If you’d like a bit of guidance, you can ask for advice from our Alchemists here.
Subscribe to our newsletter and Follow us on Social Media for regular tips and inspiration for personal growth. It’s just adding us to your toolbelt! And bonus – you’ll be entered into our monthly giveaway – a free 121 with an Alchemist of your choice…
Book a session with me if you want help to assess your current toolbelt and get some personalised recommendations for tools to explore.
Curating your toolbelt for life isn’t about chasing quick fixes, getting it perfect, or ticking off a list. It’s about being open, staying curious, and honouring what feels right for you as you grow and change. Every tool you try, and every lesson you learn, adds depth to your journey. Trust yourself, be kind to yourself, and remember you’re never alone on this path. The Alchemy of Being is here to support you in lasting personal growth, whenever you need it. Keep curating, keep exploring, and let your unique journey unfold.
Read more from Charlotte Phelps
Charlotte Phelps, Founder
Charlotte Phelps's life took a pivotal turn at 33 when she was given just six weeks to live due to a likely bowel perforation. This diagnosis came after a decade of being told she was fine by the medical world, making it both validating and shocking. Forced to explore unconventional options to survive, Charlotte not only regained her health but underwent a transformative journey of soul, mind, and body. She also developed a profound need to understand how she had lived, which sparked a decade-long exploration of holistic practices and alternative approaches. This journey ignited a deep passion to share what she’d discovered with others, leading to the creation of The Alchemy of Being.
