The Truth Beneath the Running Mascara of Perfectionism
- Brainz Magazine
- 3 hours ago
- 8 min read
Written by Ranya AlHusaini, Mindset Transformation Guru
Ranya Alhusaini is a mindset transformation guru. Besides, she is a Hypnotherapist, Rapid Transformation Therapy Practitioner and NLP. Ranya dug her way through self-discovery, curiosity and knowledge.
She wasn’t aware yet what was missing in her perfect life? She had almost everything she would desire. Her life was lined up and organized inside a structural map of high expectations, social status, and glittering labels of how life should look like. She knew exactly where she was going, what she was doing, and how well she was cruising within the aisles of ambition, glamour, and attention. That’s when she walked out of the meeting room with a flawless smile. No one noticed the hidden lines beneath her tired eyes.
In the pursuit of perfectionism, professional women often wear their shimmering mask toward evident existence. What’s behind that mask is another battle of doubts pulled from memories, high expectations, and harsh social standards.
In today’s article, we shed so much light into each and every low-dimmed corner of perfectionism, and how to overcome the perfectionist’s mindset.
What is the silent contract you never signed?
You were born with zero knowledge of what’s hiding behind the corners of everyday. You were born in a beautiful form, smiling at the sight of your mother and cracking to your dad’s funny behaviour, not to forget how absorbing your raw subconscious mind is processing events. From a young age, you were taught that perfectionism equals acceptance. You were taught to get the grades, wear the smile, and say the right thing. You have silently signed the contract. With its silent terms and conditions, you have abided blindly to follow: How to be perfect, loved, valued according to social standards. Perfectionism revolves around an austere standard set by the community’s seniors. You are always reminded to avert from messing up otherwise you will not belong!
What is the running mascara metaphor?
You are striving to become that perfect someone as you walk up the ladder of success, recognition and popularity. Inside your mind, you catch yourself repeating certain limitations. You are constantly flipping in between for a conflicting games of high expectation. Pretending all is appropriately under control. Late at night, your mascara is running down your cheek, rivers of doubt, pain, obligation, harsh judgement and emotional exhaustion. Remember, perfectionism is an outcome of a traumatic incident registered inside your mind, “prove them wrong”. Behind the facade of running mascara is a countless pace of refusal, based on:
Illogical limitation
Emotional exhaustion cycle
The gap between loneliness and your achievements
The conflict between what you desire and how you were raised.
Perfectionism is reflecting a polished face of how it should look, even when the tides run so high. The running mascara is a metaphor revealing what’s happening behind closed doors, like overthinking, crying in silence, anxiety, burnout, and self-doubt.
The running mascara is an expression an emotional release while living to the expectation of strict script.
What are you hiding behind the running mascara of perfectionism?
A running mascara down your cheeks isn’t just a makeup smudge; it’s what you hide and yet never acknowledge because you were taught to suck it up!
Your running mascara is a compilation of compressed energies, buried truth and hidden layers of struggles you are holding private to your heart, such as:
The fear of being "found out."
The burnout buried under a smile.
The loneliness that achievement can't soothe.
The guilt of resting
Remember you are allowed to fail, to feel, and to rest when you are exhausted.
What perfectionism may be signalling toward?
You crave approval from an external force: You are constantly waiting for external approval
A response to conditional love: The belief that only productivity can gain you respect and love.
A coping mechanism for control: You are controlling outside forces, fearing out: uncertainty, and unpredictability.
A shield from shame: You believe that vulnerability reflects mediocrity, minority, and embarrassment. You are running on a script of “I don’t want to uncover my vulnerable side.”
10 perfectionist thoughts that sabotage your self-worth
If you are in a place tying your worth with how well you are doing in life. You are attaching your self-worth with how well you perform. What you fail to inherently acknowledge, you condition it under the following beliefs:
“I’m only worthy if I achieve more.”
“If I make a mistake, I’ll be rejected.”
“I have to be the best even when I rest.”
“Asking for help is a sign of weakness.”
“If it’s not perfect, it’s not good enough.”
“There’s always someone doing it better than me.”
“I need to prove myself.”
“I’m worthy if I succeed.”
“I’m lovable if I don't make mistakes.”
“I’m enough if I never show weakness.”
With these beliefs on mind, you are realizing how internal negative scenarios are ruining your life as you follow blindly the script. Training yourself to catch it intentionally, you are flipping negativity into a positive turn in your life.
What is the cost of perfectionism?
Perfectionism can silently crawl into your life masked as: over-ambition, inflexible discipline, or an austere commitment to excellence. Beneath the surface is a complex interplay of psychological factors that can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, burnout, and diminished self-worth. The question here is, what can cause “Perfectionism”? Diving deeply into the depths of your subconscious mind’s reasoning is a combination of genetic predispositions and environmental influences of early life experiences, such as:
Conditional love
High parental expectations
Exposure to criticism
All the above can engrave a strong belief to prove your worth by exceeding expectations based on flawless performance. Over time, this belief system becomes internalized, driving individuals to set unattainably high standards for themselves and others.
Below are perfectionism’s negative thinking loops?
When you keep a hand on how, what, and when your reaction is taking its turn around a situation, you will build strong evidence of tolerance, familiarity, and adaptability to your inner world and senses. Hence, identifying the signals of perfectionism can pave down the road to transformation these signals are:
My way or the highway: Extremism can leave no space for improvement. You are strongly believing that life is white or black and no ground for grey. Remember conformity, extremism, and being fixated into a certain belief are signs of a fixed mindset. The fixed mindset believes in no improvement
Procrastination: You are constantly finding excuses of not moving forward.
Being your worst inner critic: You find excuses to inappropriately criticise your plans.
Avoiding delegation: You are not permissibly allowing others addition you believe others are not aligned with your performance standards.
Hyper-sensitivity to feedback: Every feedback sounds like harsh criticism thrown your way, holding you tightly to a painful yesterday.
Questions you need to ask yourself to reclaim back your self-worth
Your self-worth is a deep, sought-after journey, an inner travel toward consciousness, and the true alignment to your own being. Your worth isn’t tied to how well you perform, or how well you look, or how much you earn; it’s simply the truth behind your existence. You learn to give pieces of yourself to your family, society’s expectations, pressure, and perfectionism- until you’re left wondering Who am I, or Can someone accept me as I am, or Why do I have to strive so hard to pull my presence together. Therefore, the below set of deep questions can take you deeper toward your existence, purpose, and your presence:
1. When did you exactly started believing you wasn’t enough?
At this moment, all you do is contemplate your journal’s lines, tracing the root. Your intention is to download all pent-up energies suppressed. You speak your truth, the triggers, your feelings and the stories in between. When you trace your story lines, you remind yourself of every comment, failure, comparison, or a relationship you had to face all alone. Now dig deeper within your feelings and trace your reasoning. Ask yourself, what was your feelings when you had to face this? What makes you think so? Where in your body your feeling is residing? And what do you learn from this incident? Can you unlearn this belief? If yes, what other ways can you unlearn old beliefs?
2. Whose voice is louder than yours in your head?
While navigating deep in your journey, tune into your inner world, inspect the voices that keep finding a space inside you, revolving with situations. Ask one more deep question- whose voice is this? Is it a parent? A partner? Or Society? At this corner, your inner critic might be echoing someone else’s standards. Identifying this voice allows you to separate the truth from the old programming, catching that on the spot can lead you progressively into flipping the old into a healthier narrative.
3. What are you tolerating at this stage that drains your energy?
Personal activities that drain you strip your vitality. In here, your self-worth can build more on healthy boundaries, for it protects your inner peace.
4. How do you validate yourself?
A deep question, like: What do you need to hear right now from someone you cherish? Validating your worth can start with what you say to yourself, such as praising, approving, liking, or cheerleading. Being your own cheerleader can pull your energy level, elevate your presence, and ground your confidence and tenacity. What you speak to yourself can add value, depth, and context to your personality’s upgrade throughout the lines.
5. If you believed you were already worthy, how would you behave differently
This is a mirror moment revealing who you are without the Fear of guilt, shame, and failure. If you believe you are worthy enough without society’s labels, you are undressing all expectations stitched by conformity and likability.
6. Which part you have suppressed to be accepted?
This question is an eye-opener, leading you further down to the unknown. Your unknown was buried long ago for you to gain your kinship approval. You are hiding a part of you that was disapproved by many around you, allowing them to take the lead. The key to discovering the hidden is to travel into the depths of your own world, unleashing all ties to the confinement you had to bear. At this round, you are detaching and connecting back the dots to the unknown. Allow yourself to travel, discover, ask and console to find peace.
7. What do you truly desire?
When you fully accept yourself, you are much aware of your own needs. Filtering down every aspect of an idea coming your way. Self-Understanding can pay off toward finding peace, harmony and alignment.
Ready to shed the mask and embrace your true self?
You've achieved success, yet something feels missing. The relentless pursuit of perfection has left you exhausted, questioning your worth. It's time to break free from the conformity of perfectionism.
Join me for a complimentary 30-minutes discovery call. Together, we'll explore how to:
Uncover and challenge limiting beliefs that fuel perfectionism
Cultivate self-compassion and embrace your authentic self
Develop a personalized roadmap to a balanced, fulfilling life
This is more than a conversation; it's the first step toward reclaiming your inner peace.
The question here is, are you ready to take a forward leap towards mindset transformation?
Ranya AlHusaini, Mindset Transformation Guru
This is Ranya AlHusaini, a mindset transformation guru. My mission is to motivate professional women to unlock their self-worth and live a balanced life. With so much curiosity and self-awareness, I have developed my way with strength and determination. My expertise was well maintained as I took years to understand and develop my own through different modalities, and from there I understood human's nature and reaction. The modalities I use and consult throughout the session are NLP, Rapid transformation Therapy technique, and Hypnosis. So, if you want a switch or a makeover in your life, hop in for a mindset transformation session! I have attached a photo of myself as well!
