Why Perfectionism Is the Silent Killer of Joy, Creativity, and Authenticity
- Brainz Magazine
- May 12
- 4 min read
Updated: May 13
Written by Tatjana Gaspar, Coach, Consultant & Author
Tatjana Gaspar is a certified Systemic Coach and Online Trainer who uses methods that focus on the clients’ individual goals, thus aiming at improving their business or life situation. She is also the CEO of the Latin American Chamber of Commerce in Switzerland, where she organizes events, hosts webinars and is responsible for operational and financial issues.
We live in a culture that often celebrates perfectionism like a badge of honor. "She’s such a perfectionist," people say, meaning it as a compliment, a sign of high standards, ambition, and an unstoppable drive to succeed. But here’s the uncomfortable truth: perfectionism is not a strength. It’s a trap! A shiny, seductive one, but a trap nonetheless.
Very often, perfectionism is a trait attributed to us women. When it is noticed, the common signal we receive is that we should be proud of having fulfilled the expectations of others. But what about our own expectations? And what do they have to do with perfectionism?
Perfectionism: A mindfuck in disguise
At first glance, perfectionism seems noble. It masquerades as diligence and ambition. But underneath, it’s often rooted in fear, the fear of not being enough, of being judged, rejected, or unseen. It creates an internal pressure to constantly perform, achieve, and control outcomes. But no matter how hard we try, “perfect” is a moving target, one we never reach.
That’s why perfectionism is the perfect mindfuck. It sets impossible standards, then blames us for not meeting them. We end up in a constant loop of trying harder, doing more, and still feeling like we’re falling short. Worse, we start to believe the lie that if we just worked a bit harder, got it just a little more right, we'd finally be safe, successful, and accepted.
But we won’t, because perfectionism has no finish line. And what exactly do “harder” and “more right” mean? That should perhaps be defined first!
Self-sabotage in a pretty dress
Perfectionism is one of the most socially accepted forms of self-sabotage. It looks like productivity, but it is often procrastination in disguise. We wait to launch our website until it's "just right". We hold back on applying for that job opportunity because we’re “not quite ready”. We rewrite the post or the email ten times, never hitting “send”.
The real danger? We convince ourselves we’re being smart, responsible, or strategic – when in fact, we’re holding ourselves back from action, visibility, and impact. And all because we’re afraid to be seen as flawed.
Here’s the paradox: the more we try to be perfect, the more we disconnect from our power and ultimately from ourselves.
The death of creativity and flow
Creativity doesn’t thrive in perfection. It thrives in play, curiosity, imperfection, and risk. When you’re trying to be perfect, you’re not exploring, you’re policing. You’re editing yourself before you even begin.
Perfectionism activates the inner critic. That’s the voice that whispers to us: This isn’t good enough. You’re not good enough. Others have more experience. People will laugh. You’ll fail. It’s too late. You’re too much. Are you sure about this? Aren’t you afraid? So many have failed before you. This voice is toxic to innovation, spontaneity, and confidence. It stops us from experimenting, from growing through failure, and from truly expressing what’s inside us.
In other words, perfectionism kills the muse.
Authenticity can’t breathe in perfectionist air
Authenticity means showing up as who you are, not as who you think you should be. It’s messy, it’s real, it’s honest. But perfectionism wants us to polish our rough edges, smooth out our wrinkles, curate our image, and show only the shiny highlights. It demands that we hide our vulnerability, which is the very gateway to trust, connection, and impact.
The result? We create distance from others and from ourselves.
Instead of being authentic, we try to act. But most of us are not actors. An actor slips into a role and tries to play it perfectly. In real life, however, he or she has nothing in common with that role. If we admire the perfect screen or stage performance, we are oblivious that they are real-life people underneath their masks. Our role, on the other hand, is not to act and wear a mask, but to be authentic and credible in real life.
When we try to be perfect, we stop listening to our intuition. We ignore our needs. We perform instead of being present. We protect an image instead of cultivating a relationship with our audience, our clients, and our deeper self.
Losing ourselves while trying to be everything
One of the biggest dangers of perfectionism is how quietly it robs us of what matters most: our energy, our time, our joy.
We overthink every decision. We overdo every task. We overanalyze every word. We exhaust ourselves trying to get it “just right,” even when no one else would notice the difference.
Meanwhile, we’re missing the moment. The real connection. The creative spark. The spontaneous idea. The sense of ease and lightness that comes from being, not just doing.
We forget who we are when we’re constantly trying to be more.
The antidote? Progress, presence, and purpose
I propose that we make an agreement with ourselves. Here’s the shift: From now on, let good enough be good enough!
Not because we don’t care, but because we care enough to stop sabotaging our energy and purpose in the name of something unachievable. Let’s give ourselves permission to be human and vulnerable, and to embrace our imperfection.
So, start before you feel ready. Share before it’s perfect. Speak before you have the full plan outlined in your mind. You’re allowed to grow in motion. Perfection is no longer the goal.
Presence is. Progress is. Purpose is.
Tatjana Gaspar, Coach, Consultant & Author
Tatjana Gaspar is a certified systemic coach and online trainer who uses methods that focus on the clients’ individual goals, thus aiming at improving their business or life situation. She is also the CEO of the Latin American Chamber of Commerce in Switzerland, where she organizes events, hosts webinars and is responsible for operational and financial issues. Before coaching, she spent 20 years in international wealth management and leadership positions with different banks in Zurich. Initially, Tatjana obtained a degree in hispanic and russian literature and history from the University of Geneva. She is a firm believer in life-long learning and fluent in seven languages.
