The Power of Being Your Authentic Self Through Self-Awareness and Self-Love
- Brainz Magazine
- 11 hours ago
- 4 min read
Written by Orlaith O Brien, Health & Wellness Coach
Orlaith O'Brien is known for her realistic and easy-to-implement advice towards improving ourselves both physically & mentally. While initially her main focus was exercise and nutrition, she has now begun to transition towards mindset and self-development coaching with her clients, as it's usually our mind that holds us back the most.
In a world that constantly asks us to fit in, stand out, perform, and prove, often all at once, it can feel unfamiliar just to be yourself. “Being yourself” is something we hear all the time, splashed across Instagram captions & written on pillows or notebooks. Yet living authentically isn’t always easy, especially when we've spent years, sometimes decades, shaping ourselves around what others expect or what we think we should be.
Living authentically is a process of unlearning, remembering, reconnecting, and slowly turning inward and listening to our inner voice. It’s not about being perfect or even being fully confident all the time. It’s about showing up messy, real, vulnerable and deciding that who you are, right now, is enough.
Reclaiming your inner voice
Authenticity starts with awareness. And self-awareness isn’t just about knowing what you like or dislike. It’s about understanding the “why” behind what you do. Why do certain situations trigger you? Why do you shrink in some rooms and expand in others? Why do you say yes when you really mean no?
Many of us operate on autopilot, shaped by early childhood experiences, societal conditioning, and internalized beliefs. Without realizing it, we might adopt values that aren’t really ours, pursue goals that don’t excite us, or stay in relationships that dim our light. But the moment we pause and get curious about ourselves is the moment we start coming home.
Self-awareness invites us to ask the hard, beautiful, transformative questions. It might feel uncomfortable at first, it asks us to sit with parts of ourselves we’ve ignored or hidden, but that discomfort is growth. When we get honest about who we are and where we’re at, we create space to align with who we want to be.
Journaling, counselling and meditation can all be powerful tools in building awareness. But so can quiet moments of reflection, deep conversations with friends, or even random moments of presence while doing a mundane task. Self-awareness doesn’t have to be clinical or structured; it can be tender and intuitive, a practice of noticing rather than judging.
With time, you start to recognize patterns. You begin to see where you're living for others and where your truth is trying to break through. You get better at spotting the voice of fear versus the voice of intuition. And slowly, lovingly, you begin to choose yourself.
Choosing self-love
Self-love isn’t always soft. Sometimes it looks like setting boundaries that make other people uncomfortable. Sometimes it’s saying “no” to things that once defined your identity. It’s not just bubble baths and affirmations. It’s tough. It’s honest. And it’s often deeply uncomfortable, especially if you're not used to putting yourself first.
Real self-love is about seeing your worth when things fall apart. It’s about forgiving yourself when you mess up, and recognizing that you’re still lovable in the moments you feel the most broken. It’s standing in front of a mirror, not because you love every part of what you see, but because you’re learning to see yourself through the eyes of compassion instead of criticism.
For many of us, self-love has to start with unlearning. Unlearning the belief that we’re only as good as our productivity. Unlearning the message that we need to look a certain way to be accepted. Unlearning the idea that our value is tied to how much we give to others while denying our own needs.
When you begin practicing self-love, you stop abandoning yourself to make other people comfortable. You stop chasing validation because you start to find it within. And that doesn’t mean you never struggle again, self-love isn’t linear, but it does mean you know how to come back to yourself when you get lost.
There is no timeline for healing, growth, or discovering who you are. Some people live a lifetime without ever getting to know themselves. But when you take that first step, it’ll be the most transformative step in your life.
Living authentically in a world that teaches you to perform
Being your authentic self doesn’t mean everyone will like you. It doesn’t mean you’ll always feel confident or certain. It means that you stop putting on a show and start showing up as the person you really are underneath the layers.
That might look like expressing an unpopular opinion. It might mean dressing in a way that finally feels like you. It might involve leaving environments that feel toxic, even if they look good from the outside. Authenticity often requires hard choices, because choosing yourself sometimes means disappointing others.
But here’s the freedom that comes with it: when you live authentically, the connections you form are real. The relationships you build are based on truth, not on versions of you that you perform to be accepted. And the sense of peace that follows from not constantly second-guessing yourself or molding yourself for approval is priceless.
That said, authenticity isn’t a destination; it’s a daily decision. Some days, it’s easier than others. Some days you’ll feel deeply connected to yourself, and other days you’ll slip back into old patterns. That’s okay. What matters is that you keep choosing yourself again and again. Every time you do, you reinforce the belief that you are worthy, not when you prove yourself, not when you earn it, but simply because you exist.
Being your authentic self is not about arriving at some perfect version of you. It’s about unbecoming of everything you’re not, so you can remember who you’ve been all along.
Read more from Orlaith O Brien
Orlaith O'Brien is a leader in physical performance, personal development, and self-improvement. Having overcome mental obstacles in her personal life, she has managed to use those challenges as fuel to build mental resilience, uncover deeper layers of self-awareness, and push her physical limitations. She has since helped hundreds of women transform their bodies and minds, encouraging them to challenge themselves more and delve into things past surface level. With many different avenues to work with Orlaith, you’ll not be short on options to improve yourself, either.
