The Hidden Struggles and Strengths of Women with ADHD
- Feb 13, 2025
- 5 min read
Written by Rosie Elvin, Coaching, Workplace Training
Rosie is a senior lecturer in interior architecture and design and founder of 'ADHD Focus', a business which specialises in talks raising awareness about ADHD, coaching and creating e books and video courses, for students, parents and individuals with ADHD.
In recent years, there has been a surge in ADHD diagnoses, particularly among women. Dr. Tony Lloyd, CEO of the ADHD Foundation, stated that their data indicates a 400% rise in the number of adults seeking a diagnosis since 2020. For many, this recognition comes decades later than it should have, leaving them to navigate school, work, and relationships without understanding why they struggle in ways others seem not to. The underdiagnosis of ADHD in women is a serious issue, often leading to misinterpretation of symptoms, missed opportunities, and mental health challenges.
Why are so many women diagnosed late?
Historically, ADHD has been viewed through a male-centric lens, with diagnostic criteria based on studies primarily conducted on hyperactive young boys. As a result, girls and women who present differently, often with overwhelmed and internalised struggles, go unnoticed. Rather than being seen as having ADHD, they are often labelled as "disorganised," "too sensitive," "anxious," "lazy," or simply "busy women." Many learn to mask their difficulties, developing coping mechanisms that work until the demands of adult life, such as university, work, or parenthood, become overwhelming.
The impact of late diagnosis
Without proper recognition and support, women with undiagnosed ADHD frequently experience anxiety, depression, and burnout. Many report struggling with:
Executive functioning challenges: Difficulty managing time, staying organised, and following through on tasks can make daily life feel exhausting.
Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD): Intense emotional reactions to perceived criticism or failure, leading to perfectionism or avoidance.
Hyperfocus and burnout: The ability to become deeply immersed in tasks when there is a looming deadline, sometimes to the point of neglecting basic needs, followed by periods of extreme exhaustion.
People-pleasing and masking: A lifetime of trying to "fit in" can lead to an identity crisis, exhaustion, and a loss of self-confidence.
The pressure of societal expectations on women with ADHD
Women, particularly those with ADHD, often face immense societal pressures to be organised, nurturing, and constantly on top of responsibilities at work and home. The expectation to "do it all" managing careers, households, parenting, and relationships, can lead to chronic stress and burnout. Many women with ADHD struggle with executive functioning, which makes multitasking, time management, and sustained attention difficult. Yet, societal expectations rarely accommodate neurodivergent differences, leaving many women feeling like they are constantly falling short.
During ADHD Focus coaching sessions, many women, often highly successful business owners, share their struggles with executive functioning. Despite their achievements, they frequently feel the need to mask these challenges, working hard to appear organised and in control at all times. This constant effort to manage and conceal difficulties with planning, time management, and focus can be mentally exhausting. Many describe feeling overwhelmed behind the scenes, relying on coping strategies that are not always sustainable. The pressure to maintain a polished, capable image can also make it harder for them to seek support or acknowledge the impact of their neurodivergence on daily life.
The role of hormones in ADHD
For many women, ADHD symptoms fluctuate with hormonal changes throughout life, making management even more complex. Hormones like estrogen and progesterone play a significant role in dopamine regulation, which is already a challenge for those with ADHD. Key hormonal phases that impact ADHD include:
Menstruation: Many women experience a worsening of ADHD symptoms in the days leading up to their period due to a drop in estrogen levels. This drop affects dopamine levels and executive function.
Pregnancy & breastfeeding: Some women report improved focus during pregnancy due to increased estrogen. However, postnatal hormone shifts and sleep deprivation can heighten ADHD challenges. Breastfeeding, which also affects dopamine levels, can impact mood and focus.
Perimenopause & menopause: As estrogen declines during perimenopause and menopause, many women experience a significant worsening of ADHD symptoms. This often leads to late diagnoses. It can be a critical time for reassessing medication and support strategies.
The link between ADHD and the criminal justice system
There is a well-documented link between undiagnosed ADHD and the criminal justice system, with women being particularly vulnerable. Studies suggest that a disproportionately high number of women in prison have ADHD, many of whom were never diagnosed or supported earlier in life. Struggles with impulsivity, emotional regulation, and executive functioning can contribute to behaviours that lead to legal trouble, particularly when compounded by socioeconomic disadvantages and trauma. Addressing ADHD in women before it leads to crisis points, whether in mental health, employment, or the justice system, could significantly reduce incarceration rates and provide better support pathways.
Navigating ADHD as a woman
The good news is that understanding ADHD can be life-changing. With the right tools and mindset, women with ADHD can embrace their strengths and create strategies to work with their brains, rather than against them. Some key approaches include:
Self-compassion and awareness: It can be liberating to recognise that ADHD is not a character flaw but a different way of thinking.
Structuring daily life: External tools such as planners, reminders, and body-doubling techniques can make managing tasks easier.
Setting boundaries: Learning to say no and managing energy effectively prevents burnout.
Finding community: Connecting with other neurodivergent women can be incredibly validating and empowering.
During my coaching sessions, I support women in managing executive function challenges, issues with inattention, and understanding their impact. We also focus on reframing their experiences in a way that fosters self-compassion and empowerment. Many of these women have only recently discovered they have ADHD, often after years, or even decades, of struggling without knowing why certain aspects of life felt more difficult for them than for others. Because of this late diagnosis, they often carry a lifetime of internalised criticism, self-doubt, and feelings of failure, shaped by societal expectations and past experiences of being misunderstood or dismissed.
Our work involves unpacking these deeply ingrained narratives, recognising where coping mechanisms may have developed out of necessity rather than choice, and shifting perspectives to see their ADHD-related traits as part of their unique strengths rather than flaws. We explore how masking and perfectionism have played a role in their personal and professional lives, how these patterns might be holding them back, and how they can start to embrace more authentic and sustainable ways of working. Through this process, they begin to see their challenges through a new lens. This new perspective acknowledges the resilience, creativity, and determination they have always had, while also allowing space for self-acceptance and strategies that truly work for them.
ADHD strengths in women
While ADHD presents challenges, it also comes with unique strength. Many women with ADHD are highly creative, empathetic, and resilient. Their ability to think outside the box, focus on passions, and connect deeply with others makes them invaluable in various industries.
Recognising ADHD in women is not just about addressing difficulties; it is about unlocking potential. By fostering understanding, promoting diagnosis, and providing proper support, we can ensure that women with ADHD thrive, not just survive.
Read more from Rosie Elvin
Rosie Elvin, Coaching, Workplace Training
Rosie is dedicated to razing awareness and supporting individuals with ADHD across various sectors. She also conducts talks and workshops for university staff equipping them with essential tools to support students and staff with ADHD. Additionally, Rosie offers online courses to parents and careers to empower them to provide effective support to students with ADHD during their university experience. Rosie emphasizes that ADHD doesn't define a person and believes in empowering individuals to achieve success. As an ADHD coach, she provides insights and identifies resources to help individuals thrive.
