The Hidden Side of Transformation and What No One Tells You About the Journey
- Brainz Magazine
- 6 hours ago
- 11 min read
Indre Ratkele is a Success & Transformation Coach, the creator of "I am Ready," a personal development course and the author of "Master the Basics of Investing. A Practical Guide to Succcess." She helps individuals overcome harmful habits, align their mindset, and achieve personal and financial breakthroughs.
Have you ever thrown yourself into personal growth with full commitment, only to feel more confused, isolated, or emotionally tested than ever before? If so, you are not alone.
In today’s world, starting a personal development journey has never been easier. With Google searches, YouTube videos, AI tools, podcasts, and countless free resources, knowledge is right at our fingertips. More and more people are becoming aware, awakened, and inspired to grow. The world is buzzing with self-help advice, manifestation techniques, and healing strategies.
But here’s what almost no one talks about: what happens after the excitement fades? What happens when you’re already deep into your transformation, and the journey isn’t as glamorous as social media made it seem? When the path gets lonely. When the Universe tests you again and again, not to punish you, but to refine you, to mold you into the highest version of yourself.
This article isn’t just for beginners who are curious about growth. It’s for the ones already walking the path. The ones evolving. The ones navigating spiritual fatigue, emotional upheaval, or confusing, even painful, relationship shifts. If that’s you, this is your reminder: you are not lost, and you are not alone.
Why starting is easy, but staying true is hard
The starting line feels exciting, full of possibility and hope. You feel inspired, motivated, and determined to heal. You want to grow, to transform, to become the best version of yourself. And with so many tools available today, it feels effortless to dive in headfirst.
I always say this: once you board the personal development train, there is no going back. You become fascinated, even addicted, to learning about yourself, your energy, your mind, and the secrets of the Universe. It’s an incredible feeling, but here’s the truth: the deeper you go, the harder it becomes to stay consistent.
Why? Because the deeper your transformation, the more the Universe tests your commitment. These challenges are not a sign of failure, they’re proof that you are stepping into alignment. And alignment is not always easy.
Growth isn’t all gratitude journals, meditation playlists, and positive affirmations. Sometimes growth looks like heartbreak. Sometimes it feels like isolation. Sometimes it means losing people you love, breaking apart old versions of yourself, and sitting with pain you thought you had buried forever. And yes, sometimes it feels like your entire world is falling apart before it finally comes together.
The solitude that no one sees
When I started my personal development journey, I didn’t just choose solitude; it chose me.
Some of my closest relationships fell away. Others I had to walk away from. At the time, it felt heartbreaking and unfair. But now, looking back, I can honestly say it was one of the greatest blessings of my life. Thank you, Universe, for removing everything and everyone that no longer aligned with my growth.
My healing began in silence, just me, my pain, and my will to survive. The only thing that kept me going was my son. He was my light, my reason to wake up each day, and the anchor that stopped me from giving up completely. I wanted to protect him from the pain I was feeling, but the truth is, my solitude affected him too. When I withdrew, he lost friendships as well. That was another layer of guilt I had to carry.
For a year, I lived in darkness, navigating grief, searching for answers, and trying to piece myself back together. I cried. I doubted everything. I questioned whether life would ever feel good again. But slowly, through sheer determination and faith, I began to rise.
Mentors like John Assaraf and Natasha Graziano became my guiding lights. Personal development programs, subconscious reprogramming, and daily meditation helped me shift my inner world. These practices didn’t just heal my wounds; they helped me rediscover my identity and finally find peace within myself.
But here’s what most people don’t tell you: this journey doesn’t end. There is no finish line where you suddenly “know it all.” If you think you’ve arrived, you probably haven’t even started. Transformation is a lifelong process. We are energy, constantly evolving, vibrating, and interacting with the quantum field. There’s always more to learn about yourself and the Universe.
Your only real job? Learn to enjoy the process. Embrace every lesson, every person, every experience, even the painful ones. Become like a river: flowing, trusting, moving forward with calm confidence, no matter the obstacles. Because the truth is, there will always be challenges. But the more you trust, the more you flow, the more life opens up in miraculous ways.
The danger of getting lost in the tools
You can read every book, attend every workshop, and follow the most brilliant teachers, but here’s the truth: if you’re not careful, you can lose yourself in the process. It’s easy to start chasing the next tool, the next mentor, or the next method, hoping it will finally “fix” everything.
But your path is not meant to look like anyone else’s. We are all unique with different traumas, different lessons, and different timelines. Every mentor, every spiritual teacher has walked their own road. What worked for them may not work for you. And if you let others dictate your healing journey, you risk opening the door to more confusion and chaos.
I learned this the hard way. There was a time when I ignored my intuition and handed my power over to others, thinking they knew better than me. I followed every instruction, every ritual, every piece of advice, but instead of feeling aligned, I felt lost. I disconnected from my truth. I ignored the signs my body and soul were giving me. And in the end, I found myself sitting with even more pain and the same unresolved wounds, plus disappointment and exhaustion.
That experience taught me a powerful lesson: not every healer is meant to heal you. Not every teacher is meant to guide you. And the reason is simple: your journey is yours. No one knows your soul’s path better than you do.
This is why I wrote this article: to remind you to trust yourself first. Yes, mentors and tools can be amazing. I’ve learned so much from incredible people and practices, but the most important guidance you’ll ever receive comes from within. When you silence that inner voice in favor of someone else’s authority, you disconnect from the very source of your power.
If you take only one thing from this section, let it be this: stay anchored in yourself. Use tools as support, not as a replacement for your own wisdom. Because the biggest danger on this path isn’t failure, it’s losing the connection to who you truly are.
When the universe tests you
The moment you commit to growth, the Universe responds, not with comfort, but with challenges. People, situations, and experiences will appear that test your strength and your alignment. These aren’t punishments; they’re lessons. They’re invitations to rise higher.
Ask yourself:
Are you honoring your boundaries?
Are you trusting your intuition, even when it’s hard?
Are you living your truth, or someone else’s version of who you should be?
I used to believe that every person who entered my life was a gift, a sign of support, love, and purpose. But over time, I learned the truth: not everyone is here to stay. Some people are teachers disguised as friends. Some come to mirror your unhealed wounds. They poke at the parts of you still craving validation, love, or approval. And that can feel painful even unbearable at times. But the purpose isn’t to break you. It’s to show you where the work still is.
When you face these tests, it’s easy to slip into self-doubt:
“Why is this happening?”
“Am I doing something wrong?”
But remember this: if the Universe is testing you, it’s because you’re ready to level up. You’re strong enough to face this lesson and grow from it.
These tests often feel like loss: losing people, losing comfort, losing old versions of yourself. But every ending makes space for something greater. And every challenge carries a hidden message: stay true to yourself, no matter what.
Self-worth is the ultimate lesson
One of the most transformative lessons I’ve learned is about self-worth. Early on, I allowed people into my life too easily. I gave my love, trust, and energy freely, believing that everyone had pure intentions. But over time, I realized that not everyone operates from the same place of awareness. Some people bring lessons, not long-term companionship. Some reveal the areas of ourselves we still need to heal.
Rather than seeing this as betrayal, I began to recognize it as divine design. The Universe was teaching me to choose myself first. It was showing me that self-worth isn’t about ego or pride; it’s about honoring your own energy, your boundaries, and your path. Every time someone disrespected my space or intentions, I learned an essential lesson about discernment, courage, and love – love for myself, not just for others.
When someone in your life hurts or disrespects you, don’t view it as a failure. See it as a mirror, reflecting what still requires attention within yourself. How you respond to these situations is just as important as the lesson itself. You can set clear boundaries while responding with love and gratitude, acknowledging the role they played in your growth. This is how you prevent negative patterns from repeating and stop inviting unnecessary chaos into your life.
The quicker you recognize, understand, and release what no longer serves you, the more empowered you become. And as you do, gratitude becomes a natural companion. You begin to see that people aren’t “good” or “bad” in themselves; they are instruments of learning, helping you refine your awareness, strength, and self-respect. The energy you put out into the Universe returns to you, so choosing love, clarity, and intention ensures that your growth continues in alignment with your highest self.
Signs you’re losing yourself on the journey
As you progress on your personal growth journey, it’s easy to become so focused on transformation that you start losing touch with yourself. Awareness of these signs is crucial, they are signals guiding you back to your own center.
You might begin doubting your intuition. That quiet inner voice that once guided you may feel faint or uncertain. When this happens, it’s a signal to pause and reconnect with your inner wisdom rather than blindly following external advice.
You may ignore physical discomfort or energetic fatigue. The body is your most immediate barometer of alignment. Exhaustion, tension, or illness can indicate that you are overextending your energy or giving it away too freely.
You could start relying on others’ validation more than your own. Seeking approval is normal to an extent, but when it becomes the compass for your decisions, you risk losing the authenticity of your path.
You may rush to trust or love before fully observing intentions. Sometimes your eagerness for connection can override caution, leaving you vulnerable to influences that aren’t aligned with your growth.
These signs are not failures; they are guideposts. Each one offers an opportunity to step back, reflect, and recalibrate. They remind you that the most important relationship you have is with yourself. When you recognize these patterns and respond consciously, you preserve your energy, honor your path, and continue to grow in alignment with your highest truth.
Not everyone is meant to stay
As you evolve, you will meet people who feel aligned, inspiring, or even spiritually elevated. Some will uplift you, while others will serve a different purpose. Not everyone is meant to stay in your life long-term, and recognizing this is an essential part of personal growth.
I was and am tested constantly. Every season, new people enter my life, and in the beginning, I often believed they were my heroes, my lifelong friends, my people. But over time, I experienced many disappointments. Some weren’t honest, and some used me for their own purposes. It was painful, but now I understand the lessons they were teaching me: self-love, self-worth, trust in the Universe, trust in myself, and trust in my intuition.
Once I fully understood these lessons, the Universe stopped sending me the same kinds of people for the same tests. Yes, I still meet new people, but now I observe their role in my life before fully opening my heart, home, and soul. I protect my peace and remain aware, continually learning and growing.
Some people come into your life not to support or transform you, but to test you. Their presence may challenge your boundaries, trigger old wounds, or reveal areas where you still need healing. These encounters can be uncomfortable, even painful, but they carry important lessons about discernment, resilience, and personal growth.
Pay attention to how you feel in their presence. Sometimes your body communicates more clearly than your mind: headaches, tension, fatigue, or a sense of heaviness are signals telling you something is out of alignment. Your intuition is trying to protect you and guide you toward what serves your highest good.
Accepting that not everyone is meant to stay allows you to release relationships with gratitude rather than resentment. It creates space for people and experiences that truly align with your path, and it strengthens your ability to set healthy boundaries. Over time, this awareness helps you build a supportive, nourishing environment that reflects your growth and honors your journey.
Protect your energy with these anchoring principles
As you navigate your personal growth journey, protecting your energy becomes essential. The more aligned and aware you are, the more sensitive you become to outside influences. Learning to anchor yourself is not about shutting people out, but about creating a space where your inner guidance can flourish and your healing is honored.
Trust your intuition over any strategy
Your inner compass is more accurate than any external advice, strategy, or trend. Every time you listen and act on your instincts, you strengthen this internal guidance system, making it louder and clearer.
Pause before giving your energy away
You don’t owe anyone immediate access to your time, attention, or emotions. As healers, empaths, or simply conscious individuals, it’s natural to want to help others. But always give from overflow, not emptiness. Protecting your energy ensures that you remain grounded, focused, and resilient.
Let people earn their place in your life
Trust should build slowly. Avoid putting someone on a pedestal too quickly or rushing to share your heart. Observing actions, intentions, and alignment over time allows you to maintain clarity about who genuinely supports your growth and who may inadvertently or deliberately create disruption.
Always check in with yourself
Ask: Does this feel safe? Aligned? Authentic? Temporary happiness or excitement is not the same as lasting truth. Your inner experience is the most reliable barometer of whether someone, situation, or path serves your highest good.
Final thoughts: You are not alone
If no one has told you this today, let me: You are not behind. You are not broken. You are just becoming.
I’ve failed many times, trusted the wrong people, ignored my gut, and abandoned my truth for someone else’s vision. But I’m still here. Stronger. Wiser. Clearer.
And you will be too.
Transformation doesn’t have to be perfect. Life doesn’t have to be easy. But the more you choose yourself, every day, the more powerful your healing becomes.
Trust the signs. Ask for guidance. Anchor into your truth.
You are never alone.
Ready to step into your next chapter?
If this article resonated with you, my program, I Am Ready, is designed for those committed to growing through life’s challenges on their own terms. It is self-paced, practical, and deeply immersive, helping you to:
Shift your mindset and strengthen self-belief by addressing limiting patterns
Learn from life’s tests and disappointments while trusting your intuition
Protect your peace and set healthy boundaries in relationships
Align with abundance, energy, and clarity in daily life
Create environments and habits that support lasting personal and professional growth
Through guided exercises, meditations, affirmation audios, video lessons, and lifetime access, this program equips you with the tools to transform your experiences into wisdom and growth.
Take the first step here: i-amready.com
Not ready to dive fully into the program yet? Start by tuning into my podcast, where I share weekly insights, personal experiences, and actionable strategies for navigating life’s lessons with confidence and self-trust: Listen on YouTube: @IndreRatkele
Or, if you are ready for personalized guidance, you can work directly with me and let me support you through your personal development journey. Reach out anytime at contact@indreratkele.com
It is your moment to honor your journey, trust yourself, and say: I am learning. I am growing. I am ready.
Read more from Indre Ratkele
Indre Ratkele, Success & Transformation Coach
Indre Ratkele is a Success & Transformation Coach, the creator of the "I Am Ready" personal development course, and the author of "Master the Basics of Investing: A Practical Guide to Success." Drawing from her journey of overcoming harmful habits, self-doubt, and negativity, Indre helps individuals unlock the power of the subconscious mind and the 9 Environments of Success to create transformative change. Her mission is to guide others toward clarity, confidence, and a life of abundance through mindset alignment and practical strategies.
