The Case Against Bounce-Back Culture
- Brainz Magazine
- Jun 25
- 7 min read
Written by Amy Spofford, Pre & Postnatal Coach
Amy Spofford is well-versed in pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and mom life. She is the founder of Eat What Feels Good, LLC, a platform promoting healthy preparation for and healing from birth so new moms can enjoy their little ones.
Bounce-back culture has shaped how our society views and values mothers. It sets the expectations about a woman’s appearance after having a baby. A new mother is said to have “bounced back” if she returns to her pre-baby size and shape within a short amount of time after giving birth; if she doesn’t, there is an omnipresent cloud of judgement waiting for her. In this article, we will explore the emotional and physical ramifications of indulging in the ‘bounce-back’ mindset and what we can do about it.
It’s a societal problem
Our culture expects us to carry and birth a baby, and then look like we have not just carried and birthed a baby. If a new mom isn’t back in the gym and wearing her old jeans within a “reasonable” amount of time, she is said to have “let herself go.” It seems that people do not want visual reminders of our pregnancies, and they make moral judgments based on whether we have been able to make the evidence of childbearing disappear. It’s so ingrained in our societal narrative that even women seem to have these expectations of other women. It's unfair, unrealistic, and can cause real damage, emotionally and physically.
Mental health ramifications
After having a baby, it’s natural to notice the extra skin and fluid retention on our bodies. It’s natural to want to get back to how we looked before we were pregnant, too. What’s not natural or healthy is to send messages to pregnant and new moms that they should be worrying about this immediately after they give birth. The emotional impact of bounce-back culture is the result of piling on body image issues on top of all the other mental burdens of new parenthood that already exist. We are sleep deprived, bleeding, and healing. Our hormones are busy trying to adjust, we are dividing household responsibilities with our partners, and we are managing the needs of a tiny human. We do not need to add weight loss pressures to all that is already happening, especially not early on (but truly, not ever). Feelings of inadequacy and self-loathing can easily creep in when we are supposed to be caring for a newborn and ourselves, but are made to feel like we still aren’t doing enough.
Especially for those with ongoing pelvic floor issues, delayed healing from birth, or even just lack of help and support at home, adding fitness pressures can negatively impact mental health and increase the risk of Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders (Nichols, 249 & Ou, 31). Prioritizing the wrong things at a time that's already overwhelming is doing a huge disservice to parents everywhere.
Physical ramifications
The physical consequences of forcing ourselves to lose the baby weight before our bodies are ready can be extensive and long-lasting. Trying to exercise too soon, while we should be getting the rest we need and deserve, can prolong hormone imbalances and delay organ healing. Our pelvic floor consists of a network of muscles that have just been strained by pregnancy and stretched during birth. If we do not allow for their full healing, we can expect ongoing incontinence issues and even pelvic organ prolapse (Brighten, 42 & Nichols, 244). Once we get to the point of prolapse, it is difficult to regain full pelvic stability without extensive rehabilitation or even corrective surgery. Bringing these issues to light is so important in the prevention of further delays to our healing.
If our psyche is so heavily infiltrated by bounce-back culture, it will impact decisions we make during the postpartum period that could further sabotage our physical healing. We can do some real harm to ourselves with weight loss strategies like over-restricting calories and pushing water over foods. We need nutrients when we are healing from having a baby, so if we are choosing to deprive ourselves of real and consistent nourishment to be in a calorie deficit, we will impede our healing and end up extending the whole process.
The best way to have your organs return to their rightful locations, drop extra fluid and fat gained in pregnancy, regain prior skin elasticity, and heal the exit ramp of delivery is to let yourself heal fully, slowly, and without dietary restrictions or undue strain on your body (Nichols, 218). The more effort you put into that in the early days (that is, the less you do and the more you embrace rest), the faster and more complete your healing will be. This is a complete mindset shift from the propaganda that moms are currently being fed. We need to go from restriction and discipline to nourishment and rest.
I am a huge proponent of moving our bodies, but I caution against intense exercise after pregnancy until we are safely healed and ready. Building strength and endurance will set us up well for mothering toddlers as well as for our hormonal, mental, and physical health as we age, but there is time for that. Now, it’s time to rest and enjoy that baby.
Historical support for nourishment and rest
During the fourth trimester, which is the three months after giving birth, optimal healing is fostered by as much rest as possible and gentle movements like walking and yoga, which can graduate to more intensive exercise after physician clearance. Many cultures that adopt ancestral health practices hold this time period as sacred, and villages gather around a new mom to help her (Nichols, 218-224 & Ou, 25-30). They cook for her, provide her with supplements, and make sure she is hydrated, while also helping to care for the baby so mom can rest. In our modern world and especially in the United States, this level of “cocooning” is not often possible due to limited paid parental leave policies in workplaces as well as a decline in people living close to their families. Modern moms, as a result, are often isolated and left to do much of the household duties while they are also caring for a newborn and healing themselves.
Affecting change in postpartum paradigms
Women need to actively fight against the judgments we were conditioned to have about our postpartum bodies and ourselves in general if we are to be spared from the damages discussed here. There are many aspects of modern society that can be improved on for new moms to feel supported in their healing journeys. We cannot possibly mention them all in one article, and none of them can be solved in a day. What I believe we can do, though, is to highlight the factors that are counterproductive to our mental and physical health as we heal from birth and provide alternative approaches and mindsets that can serve us better. If we do this, we can prevent harm and usher our new parents into their roles feeling supported and nourished.
We can start by sharing our postpartum stories honestly, reaching out for connection to those in similar phases of life, and showing the same love and care to ourselves as we would to a friend going through the same situation. As friends or relatives of new moms, we can reach out virtually, send care packages, help organize a meal train for when the baby comes, and make meals if we are able. However near or far, we can work on building a connection with new parents. This connection will breed solidarity and understanding, and when you have those things, chasing superficial “evidence” of bouncing back will seem trivial. What matters are things like a new mom’s emotional state, whether she has someone to call if she needs support, whether she’s getting enough nourishment in her body, and whether she is managing her physical healing.
Learning to love and appreciate ourselves and our bodies
The antidote to bounce-back culture has to be radical self-love and self-acceptance. It’s the only way we can block out the extreme pressures we are receiving from all around us that tell us to be smaller. This can start with acknowledging the miraculous transformation our bodies have gone through to get to this point. Taking the time to reflect on the physical requirements of pregnancy, birth, and healing can help put into perspective the astonishing capabilities of the human body.
That being said, we do not have to love everything about our bodies or beat ourselves up for wanting to return to fitness. We do not have to call our stretch marks “tiger stripes” and call ourselves “warriors” if that doesn’t feel true to us. We can still have a deep appreciation for what our bodies have achieved without toxic positivity or inauthentic confidence. We can look forward to healing and improved function while being content with our bodies being as they are for now. I refuse to allow shame to enter my thinking regarding my body anymore. And I want that for every new mom, because it feels like freedom. It feels like compassion. It feels like love.
Read more from Amy Spofford
Amy Spofford, Pre & Postnatal Coach
Amy Spofford is a Pre & Postnatal Coach, a Nutritional Therapy Practitioner, and a mom of three little ones. Practicing as a speech-language pathologist in a nursing home rehab setting during a pandemic made pregnancy and early parenthood beyond difficult. Amy used her holistic nutrition certification and research skills to dive deep into all things pregnancy, birth, and postpartum, thinking there has to be a better way to navigate this season of life. This led to her becoming certified as a Pre & Postnatal coach. Her mission is to reduce the incidence of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders by providing education and support to pregnant women through their transition into postpartum.
Works Cited:
Brighten, Jolene. Healing Your Body Naturally After Childbirth: The New Mom’s Guide to Navigating the Fourth Trimester. Self-published, 2015
Nichols, Lily. Real Food for Pregnancy: The science and wisdom of optimal prenatal nutrition. Self-published, 2018
Ou, Heng. The First Forty Days: The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother. Abrams, 2016.
Johnson, Kimberly Ann. The Fourth Trimester: A postpartum guide to healing your body, balancing your emotions & restoring your vitality. Shambhala, 2017.
