Written by Jacqueline Frost, CEO & Founder at Elevate Talent
Since 2016, Jacqueline has been dedicated to empowering and inspiring future female leaders, sharing her tips and strategies through Elevate, a global virtual programme where over 9000 women have graduated. She is the host of the Finding Your EPIC podcast and author of the Finding Your EPIC book, published in 2024.
We’ve all been there. A colleague asks for a last-minute favour, your manager has another ‘urgent’ task that needs your immediate attention, a co-worker brings you into help when they have overextended themselves. The urge to say yes can be overwhelming. But what if saying no is actually the key to unlocking your career potential and building stronger professional relationships?
Understanding the struggle
Research suggests many struggle with this. In our Elevate sessions, attended each month by around 1000 women worldwide, only 2% confidently claimed to be masters of saying no, while half admitted it depends on the situation. This widespread difficulty highlights a common professional challenge balancing the desire to help others with the need to protect our own career growth and success.
Saying yes to everything can lead to burnout, resentment, and a decline in overall quality of work. When we overcommit, we often sacrifice our own professional development, leading to feelings of overwhelm and dissatisfaction. It’s essential to recognise that it’s okay to prioritise our own career over the demands of others.
Why is it so hard to say no?
Several factors contribute to this challenge:
Fear of missing out (FOMO)
We worry about losing opportunities or damaging professional relationships. The fear of missing out on potential career advancements or networking opportunities can pressure us into saying yes, even when it’s detrimental to our own professional goals.
The desire to help
Our innate desire to be supportive can sometimes override our own professional needs. Helping colleagues is rewarding, but when it becomes a compulsion at the expense of our own career advancement, it can lead to negative outcomes.
Pressure to be a team player
We want to be seen as cooperative and accommodating. The workplace culture often glorifies those who are always available, which can make it challenging to assert boundaries.
However, it’s crucial to remember that by establishing clear limits, you’re demonstrating respect for yourself and your professional time. This doesn’t mean being rude or uncooperative; it’s about clearly communicating your career priorities.
Reflect before you respond
When faced with a request, consider these questions:
Does this align with my career goals and values?
Do I have the capacity to take on this additional responsibility without compromising my professional performance?
Will saying no negatively impact my reputation and/or career progression?
If the answer to any of these questions is no, it’s perfectly acceptable to decline. Remember, it’s not about saying no to everyone; it’s about saying no to what doesn’t serve your career. Yet often, we overlook the real, tangible benefits to saying no, such as:
Reduced professional stress: By saying no, you reduce your workload and alleviate stress. This leads to a more balanced and productive career.
Improved focus: Prioritising tasks allows for better concentration and productivity. When you’re not stretched thin, you can give your full attention to the tasks where you can add the most value to your team and organisation.
Enhanced professional relationships: Setting boundaries can actually strengthen professional relationships by preventing resentment. When you’re clear about your limits, colleagues are more likely to respect them and value you and your time.
Increased professional self-esteem: Confidence and self-respect grow with each “no.” Each time you prioritise your career needs, you reinforce your professional worth.
Better time management: Saying no helps you prioritise your professional time effectively. This enables you to allocate time to activities that align your career goals and values with the organisation’s.
Mastering the art of saying no is an empowering skill that can significantly improve your career. By setting boundaries and prioritising your professional goals, you can reduce stress, enhance your focus, and build stronger, more respectful professional relationships. Remember, practice makes perfect. Start small, build confidence, and remember to focus on where you add the most value.
Hear more on the subject of saying no from Carmina Lees, my guest on the Finding Your EPIC® podcast: Season 1 - Episode 18 - EPIC No!
Read more from Jacqueline Frost
Jacqueline Frost, CEO & Founder at Elevate Talent
Jacqueline is a recognized leader in female executive development and mentoring. While her background includes a significant tenure in investment banking, her passion lies in empowering women to excel in leadership roles. She started her mentoring journey in 2009, sharing invaluable strategies for navigating high-pressure environments. Realizing the transformative effect of these lessons, she founded Elevate in 2016. This global virtual leadership program has equipped over 9,000 women from 50 countries with the skills to lead and influence in diverse industries. Her vision is to make leadership development accessible to women worldwide.