Written by: Rita May, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
When we want to overcome emotional eating or other issues related to eating (e.g., compulsive overeating, binge eating, weight loss), we usually concentrate on two things. Changing our actions and optimising our environment to feel less triggered to overeat.
While these are useful and necessary steps, you will see that for a real, long-term transformation, we need to address other levels of change too.
Why? Because very often the solution is not on the same level where the problem was discovered.
But what are these levels of change?
The 6 levels of change
Robert Dilts has developed a wonderful model for the description of change processes: the Dilts Pyramid.
He formulated the model based on Bateson's logical levels of learning. In Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) this model has gained immense importance and has become one of the most important coaching models.
It basically shows the levels of motivation for change. Higher levels generally have a greater effect on lower levels than vice versa. You will also see that the solution to a problem is rarely found at the level of the problem.
Let’s see the 6 levels.
Environment
On the lowest level is our environment: the place, the time of the day, the people surrounding us, and the smells, tastes, and sounds around us.
Behaviour
The next level is our behaviour. The level of behaviour refers to all our actions and reactions: our activities, our words, our gestures, our movements, our breathing, etc. Basically, it is what we do in our environment.
Capabilities
Then comes the level of capabilities. Our abilities, skills, talent and knowledge we have and don’t have. Do we have the skills, knowledge, and abilities to do the necessary actions well? Do we need to learn to do something better? It’s also about thinking and feeling and the awareness of these abilities.
Values and beliefs
The 4th level contains the beliefs, opinions, principles, values, and inner standards that drive our actions (consciously and unconsciously). These motivate us to do the actions and use our capabilities. But we’ll only do the actions if our values and beliefs are in congruence with them. We learned these beliefs and values during our lives from others, from books, etc.
Identity
Close to the top of the pyramid is the level of identity: the self-image. It answers the question: Who are you? Who are you not? If we don’t identify ourselves with the person who would do a certain thing, we won’t do that action. For example, I’m not a smoker, so I don’t smoke.
Vision or mission
The highest level is the level of affiliation, mission, or vision. This is about our professional, family, social, or perhaps philosophical, religious affiliation and vision. It is about the “big questions” in life: “Why do we live?”, “Why are we here?”, “What did you want to contribute by doing that?” “What is your goal?”
Using the Dilts Pyramid in connection with emotional eating
Let’s see how we can use the Dilts pyramid to unpack all the levels of changes and motivation related to emotional or compulsive eating.
Environment
Exploring the environment is a great way to discover your triggers for overeating. It could be certain times of the day, particular places, being with specific people, or in some situations. Or it can also be a combination of these. What in your environment triggers emotional eating for you?
Answers could be: when I get home from work in the evening, when I pass a bakery and I smell the baked goods, talking with my boss, arguing with someone, having too much to do, trying clothes on in the dressing room, being on the beach, etc.
Now you become aware of these environmental factors, so when next time you’re in this environment or situation, you will notice your trigger instead of mindlessly and automatically turning to food.
Behaviour
What is it about your behaviour that contributes to emotional or compulsive overeating?
Answers could be: I don’t eat enough during the day and become ravenous by the evening; I suppress my feelings, or I distract myself from them by eating; I don’t stop before eating to check in with myself on whether or not I’m hungry and if not hungry, what makes me want to eat; I mindlessly eat and snack while I’m doing something else; I eat too much highly processed foods containing additives, sugar, and fat that disrupt my hunger signals; I don’t keep healthy foods at home, so I need to order fast food in the evening, etc.
After answering this question, we look for useful behaviours that can replace the old ones or prevent them from happening. For example, taking time to relax during the lunch break, checking in with myself before I eat, or shopping for healthy foods.
Capabilities
How do you carry out the activities and what skills do you need to learn?
Answers could be: I can’t recognise my hunger and fullness signals, I can’t tolerate my uncomfortable feelings, I can’t figure out what makes me eat when I’m not hungry, I can cook well, but I don’t know how to cook healthy, balanced meals, I can’t be kind and patient with myself, etc.
At this level, strategies play a special role. They describe the internal processes that lead to a certain result. It is necessary to interrupt inappropriate strategies and learn new, effective alternatives.
For example, learning the following skills: differentiating between physical and emotional hunger, recognising your fulness signals, improving your emotional tolerance, preparing healthy meals, accepting and being kind to yourself, getting help from a coach if you don’t know which skills you need to learn and how to learn them, etc.
Values and Beliefs
Which beliefs could cause emotional eating or compulsive overeating?
Answers could be: I always have to do everything perfectly or not at all (including diets); I can only relax when I’m eating; I need to eat to feel good; I can only eat large amounts; I don’t have time to eat properly; I’ll always be fat, etc.
The way to rewrite a belief starts with questioning that belief. Is it really true? What if it wasn’t true? Then find a positive statement that is still believable but cancels out the negative belief.
For example, food gives me joy for only a short time and then I need to deal with the consequences of eating too much; there are many ways I can enjoy myself other than eating; eating and being healthy are important to me, so I find the time to buy or prepare healthy foods; my past does not define my future; I can get through tough things; I can do hard things; I can learn new things easily.
Then you act on these new beliefs and create evidence that you can do it. The more evidence you create, the easier it will be to believe these new statements and perform the actions (behaviours) that they initiate.
Identity
Who am I? Who am I not?
Answers could be: I’m an emotional eater or compulsive eater, I’m a high-achiever who has no time for herself, I’m fat, I’m not a healthy eater, I’m a victim, I’m bad, I’m weak, I’m undeserving, I’m hopeless.
Here it is important to go deeper into the true personality. For example, we can ask ourselves: "Who am I really?" "How am I?”, "How am I not?", "How do I not want to be?
Then you can choose a new identity such as I’m a healthy, strong, resilient person, and I deserve, I´m a healthy eater who doesn’t follow diets, I’m a naturally thin person, I’m a sporty person, etc.
Then similarly to your beliefs, you “try on” this new identity and act on it. This way, you gain evidence that makes it easier to identify yourself with this new personality.
Vision
Do you belong to a group of people on the professional, private, religious, or philosophical level? What is your role in this world?
The boundaries of the present identity can be broken with this awareness and integrated into a comprehensive sense of self. This can be achieved in various ways, such as creating a vision board, meditation, spiritual experiences, love, etc.
A vision to eliminate emotional eating could be: I will be a good example to my children, and I want to be an inspiration to my children (or others) to live a healthy lifestyle without obsessing about food. Maybe your religion or spirituality gives you the motivation and strength to change. Or you join a group of people who also want to change and have the same vision.
Summary
If you really want to stop emotional or compulsive eating for good, you need to change on all levels. If you only change your environment and behaviour, which is actually what most people do, you won’t have long-term transformation.
If you work with me 1-on-1, we will go through all these levels and make the changes needed for each of them. Of course, the lower levels are easier to change (that’s why most people only work on those), but the higher the level, the greater the influence it has (on the lower levels).
It’s important to explore all levels because the solution is often not at the level where the problem is discovered, and the levels also depend on each other. If you change something at a lower level, it may lead to a change at a higher level. However, if you change something at a higher level, it always leads to a change at a lower level.
If you want to have a chat with me about your specific situation, book a free 60-minute call here.
Rita May, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Rita May is a scientist turned Emotional Eating and Health Coach. She helps driven professionals and entrepreneurs who are successful in other areas in their life but struggle with their weight because of emotional and stress-eating.
Her coaching method is based on three pillars: the science of nutrition, psychology, and a bit of spirituality.
She doesn’t believe in the one-diet-fits-all approach. Instead of giving you a diet plan, she helps you choose a way of eating that you enjoy because that’s the one you will be able to sustain in the long term.
However, nourishing your body is not enough. Our well-being is also affected by stress, relaxation, thoughts, emotions, beliefs, joy, self-awareness, our personal history and so much more.
Using her Mindfulness to Food Freedom method and How to stop eating your feelings workbook, she helps her clients eliminate emotional and stress-related overeating or binge eating. She designed her Healthy Habits for Permanent Weight Loss program to help busy professionals and entrepreneurs lose weight and improve their health with just a little time investment per week so they can focus on their work, business, and family.
