Written by: Andrée Funnell, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
The inner critic in us and our limiting beliefs are more dangerous and damaging to us than any feedback we may have been given by someone else. How often do you find yourself dwelling for far too long when you’ve made a mistake or been given less than helpful feedback. As humans, we tend to focus on the negatives and the glass is half empty rather than the positives, and glass is half full. Consequently, this may result in us holding ourselves back and not making the most of the opportunities that come our way. Do you wonder whether you are good enough and tend to compare yourself with others?
Imposter Syndrome
When you have achieved something new that perhaps you had strived for, for a while, is when imposter syndrome can strike. The inner critic may be telling that you don’t deserve the success, joined by self-doubt and thoughts creeping in that you are not good enough and will get found out soon. One way to overcome these self-doubts and negative judgments is to turn your negative belief into positive, empowering beliefs. You need to tell your inner critic that you are valued and worthy and change your mind-set about your own abilities.
Limiting Beliefs
Limiting beliefs are what constrain you in some way and limit your outcomes and achievements in life. They are about you and your self-identity. You form your beliefs through your direct and past experiences, which you have drawn a conclusion from. You may have beliefs about rights, duties, abilities, permissions and so on, and these beliefs create your view of the world in general or about other people.
"Find someone who will listen and possibly offer a different perspective to your thinking."
Beliefs are a powerful driver of behavior. Whatever you believe you can or cannot do will flourish. Negative beliefs suppress capabilities and have an adverse effect on our work and personal lives, often affecting our relationships and stop us from achieving remarkable things. Habitually they are not based on any kind of reality or past experience, just self-doubt.
What you will notice is your feelings and thinking patterns are negative and hold you back. Statements such as “I must not fail”, “I feel like a fake”, I’m not good enough need to be turned into positive empowering statements. You may also find yourself downplaying the success you have had with thoughts such as “I was just lucky”, or “it was no big deal”.
TIP: Find someone who will listen and possibly offer a different perspective to your thinking.
Self-Talk
Your self-talk is a combination of conscious thoughts plus unconscious beliefs and biases. As humans, our brains have evolved to focus on the negatives over the positives in order to keep us safe – ‘fight or flight mode’. What you need to do is to train your mind-set to look for the positives. Hence, this goes a long way towards building confidence and gaining a balance between the negative and positive inner voice. In his book ‘The Chimp Paradox’ by Stephen Peters, he states that when that inner voice becomes overwhelming and limiting, it is because your chimp is playing up. What you need to do is to listen to your adult brain and tell the chimp to behave. When your brain is in negative overload, some simple techniques can help such as Mindfulness, exercise, reading or going outside for a walk and connecting to nature.
Mindfulness can help you to - spend time slowing your pace; your senses can really take in what is around you. Your breathing will slow down and you will find your attention becoming focused on the here and now. This gives you a chance to clear your mind and start exploring what is going on in your self-talk.
Focus on the Positive
Awareness of how you think and act is a powerful tool. Being aware of your negative thinking patterns is the first step to changing your mindset and your life. It is time to start treating yourself differently. One way could be to start looking for positive things around you and tap into your positive emotions. On a day to day basis, we experience positives as well as negatives, however it is the negatives we tend to ruminate on.
So what can you do about those negative thinking patterns? Firstly, you can start looking at what triggers them and how to reframe them in your mind to something more positive.
For example, instead of saying you’ve failed because you made a mistake or didn’t get a promotion, consider the mistake a learning opportunity or the promotion as “not the right time for me”.
Key Tips to help you get rid of the imposter and inner critic:
Identify the patterns of behavior
Know when they occur and why?
Understand what triggers them
Define your Limiting Beliefs, what are they and how do they constrain you?
Recognize the self-talk, whose voice is it and what are they saying?
Stop feeding your ‘Chimp’ (inner critic).
Turn limiting (negative) beliefs into Positive Empowering beliefs
Find some useful tools.
You can sign up for ‘The Wheel of Life exercise to start you on your journey of self-discovery to find out who you are and what you want from life here!
Andrée Funnell, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Andrée is a multi- award winning Coach, Learning & Development consultant, best-selling author and speaker, who is the founder and driving force behind the success of Aspiring Future Competence (AFC). Since its inception in 2002, AFC has helped clients across a wide range of business sectors to get visible, get heard and get ahead by applying inspirational ways to bring about positive change and empowerment. She has over 20 years HR & training experience working in corporate organisations and a further 18 years delivering development solutions that make a difference to people’s careers and lives. She is a qualified coach, professional trainer and NLP Practitioner. She discovered that Authenticity is the key to happiness, fulfillment and success and is keen to get the message out there to others. ‘Behind the Mask’ is Andrée’s literary debut about ‘Authenticity’. It’s an essential interactive step by step guide to turning your life around and achieving the kind of life you deserve by living authentically.
