Meta Groselj is an expert Public Speaking & Inner Influence coach helping people profit by using their voice. Her clients are leaders & experts who want to overcome imposter syndrome anxiety to develop that inner power and confident presence to master any spotlight of business and life.
Picture this: you’re standing in front of an audience, the lights are blinding, and your heart is pounding like a drum solo at a rock concert. Your mouth goes dry, your palms start sweating, and you’re suddenly aware of every single person staring at you, waiting for you to speak.
Congratulations! You’ve just triggered the brain’s “fight or flight” response, a prehistoric survival mechanism that worked great when running from saber-toothed tigers but is less helpful when you want to impress your audience with your talk or presentation.
In scientific terms, what you're experiencing is a classic case of "stage fright," a delightful cocktail of anxiety, fear, and the undeniable urge to run offstage. But don’t worry! With a little neuroscience and humor, you can tame the timid squirrel in your brain and turn that anxiety switch in your brain off.
The brain: A stage fright symphony
Your brain, a marvelous blob of neurons and synapses, is orchestrating this “fight or flight” symphony. The star of the show? Your amygdala is a tiny, almond-shaped structure that loves to freak out at the smallest hint of danger. The amygdala is the one screaming, "OMG, everyone is staring at me! They’re judging me!" It’s like the drama queen of your brain, always ready to escalate things to Defcon 1.
Next, we have the prefrontal cortex, the more rational, calm, and collected part of your brain. It’s trying to keep things cool by reminding you that the audience is not, in fact, a pack of hungry wolves. Unfortunately, when stage fright strikes, the prefrontal cortex often gets drowned out by the amygdala’s high-pitched shrieking.
Then there’s the hippocampus, your brain’s memory center, which helpfully decides this is the perfect time to remind you of every embarrassing moment from your past. Thanks, hippocampus. Really helpful.
The physiology: Why you’re sweating buckets
When you experience stage fright, your body goes into full-on panic mode. Your sympathetic nervous system (the body’s personal alarm system) kicks in, flooding your body with adrenaline. This is great if you need to outrun a bear, but not so much when you’re just trying to deliver a speech without fainting.
Your heart starts racing, your blood pressure spikes and your body diverts blood flow to your muscles (because clearly, you might need to run from the podium at any second). Meanwhile, your sweat glands go into overdrive because, apparently, your body thinks the best way to handle social anxiety is to make you as slippery as possible.
The science of not freaking out: Taming the squirrel
Now that we know what’s happening, how do we stop it? Here’s where science comes to the rescue with a few strategies to trick your brain into calming down.
1. The power pose
According to Harvard psychologist Amy Cuddy, striking a "power pose" (think Wonder Woman or Superman) for two minutes can increase testosterone (confidence hormone) and decrease cortisol (stress hormone). So before you hit the stage, find a private spot, strike a pose, and channel your inner superhero. You might feel silly, but that’s better than feeling terrified.
At the very beginning of my career as a trainer, five minutes before the session started, I’d excuse myself to go to the loo and powerposed, powerposed, powerposed. I even lifted myself up on my toes, determined to make myself bigger than I am in reality. And it worked!
2. Breathe like a zen master
Deep breathing is your secret weapon. Slow, deep breaths signal your brain that everything is cool. Inhale through your nose for four seconds, hold for four seconds, and exhale through your mouth for four seconds. Repeat until your inner squirrel stops hyperventilating.
While breathing, focus on your intention. Focus on why you do what you do and what you aim to change with your talk. Focus on your Why and deeply breathe into it, enhancing its importance – not just for you, but for everybody present in that room you’re about to enter!
3. Imagine everyone in their underwear
This classic advice is rooted in psychology. The idea is to humanize your audience by picturing them in a vulnerable or funny state. However, proceed with caution. This can backfire if you find yourself laughing uncontrollably at the image of your boss in polka-dot boxers.
In reality, they don’t have to be naked as much as they have to be normal people with hopes and dreams, laughter and tears, good and bad moments in life, opting to live and love – just like you. We tend to see people through their role and assume they look down on us (but their superiority or inferiority complexes have absolutely nothing to do with us!) See them like you are, of equal worth and value as a human being.
4. Embrace the butterflies
Those butterflies in your stomach? They’re just your body’s way of saying you care about what you’re doing. Reframe your anxiety as excitement. After all, it’s not every day you get to share your brilliance with the world.
Before you walk on stage, look at the room. Look at the people. Look (or think) of the organizers and their hustle to get people in. Appreciate the moment. You are part of history. You are here. Be grateful and, at the same time, proud. This is the kind of humble confidence that is one of the most sought-after speaker qualities!
5. Channel your inner comedian
Laughter is a powerful antidote to fear. If you can make your audience laugh, even a little, you’ll relax, and so will they. Start with a light-hearted joke or a funny anecdote. Avoid knock-knock jokes; those are guaranteed to kill the mood (and not in a good way).
I like to address something that we all know is true: if I speak right before the lunch break, I would ask them to “raise your hand if you're hungry right now” and “raise your hand again If you will keep your attention for just 20 more minutes before we all start eating each other” :) I would continue with something like, “Look to your left, look to your right, who will you have lunch with? Perhaps you can meet someone new today, someone you’d love to eat!” (this is a deliberate mistake, which I then correct) “U, sorry, to eat with I wanted to say eat with, pardon me.“
If it were to happen, I’d foolishly wear a baby blue shirt that looked like a baby pissed under my armpits right before I walked on stage, and I’d use this fact and make a joke out of it. Perhaps I’d even ask the audience, “Does everybody see how sweaty my armpits are right now? Yes, good! I was worried you wouldn't be able to notice, so I overdid it a little bit. I guess I can stop sweating now.
Disclaimer: don’t try to be funny if you’re not naturally funny. I never really plan for jokes. They either come to me spontaneously and I use them, and when I’m spontaneously funny, they usually work. If I plan jokes, I usually bomb. And so will you. Just saying.
6. Practice, practice, practice
Your brain loves familiarity. The more you practice, the less scary it becomes. Even if it’s just practicing in front of your cat, the more you rehearse, the less your amygdala freaks out when you’re on stage.
I invite you to follow this very strict rule of last-day practice: never touch the content on the last day! On the last day before any talk, tame your inner dialogue to start supporting your mission.
Don’t just practice your presentation, practice your belief as well, and this way you’re ready to become the master squirrel tamer!
Conclusion: The show must go on
Stage fright is as natural as squirrels in a park, but with a bit of science and some humor, you can keep those nerves in check. Remember, even the most seasoned performers get stage fright, and that’s what makes them human (and sometimes more entertaining). So the next time you’re about to step into the spotlight, take a deep breath, strike a pose, and remember: you’ve got this. And if all else fails, just imagine the audience in their underwear, preferably polka-dotted.
Break a leg! (Figuratively, of course.)
Meta Groselj, Public Speaking & Inner Influence Coach
Meta Groselj is an expert Public Speaking & Inner Influence coach helping people profit by using their voice. Her clients are leaders & experts who want to overcome imposter syndrome anxiety to develop that inner power and confident presence to master any spotlight of business and life. She is also a master Storyteller & Art of Persuasion specialist, helping entrepreneurs and founders create impactfull decision-making presentations that "sell" from the stage and generate measurable business results. She calls her clients Future Voices as she is on a mission to shape up the voices of leaders changing the world.