Social Media is Not Safe for Gay Dads
- Jun 7
- 4 min read
Written by Bryan McColgan, Physician Journalist
Dr. Bryan McColgan is an international authority on IVF and surrogacy for gay men. He is the founder of the Gay Dad Reporter, the world’s first online platform dedicated to news about surrogacy and rainbow families with a focus on gay men.
Most of our lives are spent online. We work. We shop. We chat. We share. We connect. All online. However, this online world - much like our real world, does not treat everyone equally. LGBTQ+ people are one group who has recently suffered increasing backlash, hate, and discrimination online.
Initially, the Internet and social media was a beacon of hope for LGBTQ+ people. Someone growing up in a conservative family or a small town could reach out and meet other like-minded individuals. They could connect and become friends, sometimes even ‘chosen family.’
Now, the vast majority of LGBTQ+ people regularly witness harmful content, feel less safe, and are less inclined to express themselves online.
Most of our online world is wrapped up in social media. Meta (Instagram, Threads, Facebook), Alphabet (YouTube), X (formerly Twitter), and TikTok are the current rulers of the social media landscape.
GLAAD’s Social Media Safety Index analyzes and tracks these social media titans with regard to their safety for LGBTQ+ users. In 2026, GLAAD reported significant failings and worsening online hate and protections for the queer community.
These are some of the key findings:
Platforms are largely failing to mitigate harmful anti-LGBTQ+ hate and disinformation that violates their own policies.
Platforms disproportionately suppress LGBTQ+ content via removal, demonetization, unwarranted age-gating, and forms of shadowbanning.
Social media companies continue to withhold meaningful transparency about content moderation, algorithms, and use of AI.
GLAAD also does yearly report cards. With 100 points being a perfect score, in 2026 all platforms except TikTok saw a decrease in their LGBTQ+ safety score, and every platform had fairly poor scores overall.
This is not good news for LGBTQ+ people, but what about an even smaller and more marginalized population, LGBTQ+ parents?
The GLAAD Social Media Index report does not mention gay dads explicitly, but I think it is safe to assume the results are the same or worse compared to the general LGBTQ+ population.
Two new gay dads in Los Angeles were recently targeted and physically attacked in person by a MAGA influencer trying to create hateful content. Celebrity gay dad Colton Underwood has written a memoir dedicated to his son, where he addresses the online hate he and his family receive.
Despite this hostility, gay dads are still using these platforms to connect, share, and support each other. Facebook has numerous gay dad communities for surrogacy, adoption, and country-specific gay parenthood. I, myself, am a member of Gaypapporna, the gay dads group in Sweden. Instagram and TikTok have celebrity gay dads showcasing their fun-filled travel and Disney lifestyles. Reddit, although not included in the GLAAD report, also has r/gaydads with over 15,000 followers.
However, these platforms and groups are at the whim of the social media giants. When reports last year came out that Meta was unilaterally removing queer Facebook groups, there was panic in the gay dad and surrogacy communities. Groups scrambled to change their names in hopes of going undetected and saving their community.
Because of the fear and sensitivity surrounding these groups, the moderators have to incessantly police posting and content. Even I, an intended gay dad who has an entire brand about becoming and being a gay dad, have been blocked from posting on Reddit and Facebook groups. The guidelines and sharing cannot truly be open for fear of retribution from the increasingly restrictive social media overlords.
I love following gay dads sharing their journeys and jokes about becoming and being parents. I am one of them. I think this representation is important, but if the large social media sites are full of hate, suppressing our content, and leveraging algorithms and AI that choose who and what to promote, is this the safest and best way to showcase our lives as gay dads?
I think there should be another way. I think there should be another platform that is just for us as intended and current gay dads.
Niche social media platforms are not completely new. Two examples of popular niche social media sites are Strava for exercise enthusiasts and Goodreads for bookworms. Both of these sites allow these communities to share, discuss, and bond over their shared interests without having to expose themselves to the policies of the gargantuan social media overlords.
They say it takes a village to raise a child. What if we had our own Gay Dad Village? A place that is safe for all who want to become or are gay dads, to share advice and stories, and to support each other.
I would love for such a platform to exist. If you would be interested in building it with me, please reach out here.
Gay men have always been resilient. Even during the darkest times in our history, we have managed to form connections and community in the face of hate, bigotry, and suppression. Underground gay bars, secret hanky signals, and now Grindr have all allowed us to find, communicate, and connect. It’s time to evolve beyond the confines of the current social media landscape and have a fit-for-purpose, safe platform for all gay dads.
Read more from Bryan McColgan
Bryan McColgan, Physician Journalist
Dr. Bryan McColgan is a Stanford and Columbia University-trained physician who is currently on his first journey to fatherhood through surrogacy. Navigating IVF and surrogacy in the United States from his current home in Sweden led Bryan to start the Gay Dad Reporter, the leading online platform dedicated to assisted reproduction for gay intended fathers. His mission is ethical surrogacy for gay intended dads everywhere.
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