Reframing Not Just Replacing Old Windows
Written by: Richard Hilton, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
What is reframing? It is a technique/s that is used to change a mindset about a particular problem and the thought process of thinking about a problem that has become distorted. It could have started out as something quite small and insignificant, then turned into something that now appears to be big when in fact, all along, it is the same little problem.
You might be looking at a situation in your life and thinking to yourself, how do I overcome this obstacle? And how “stuck” I am in that situation. This could be something obvious to someone looking at the problem from the outside, but to you, it makes little sense. In my case, a friend of mine was telling me to run online groups and to have a different subject each week, which made sense (I hadn’t got anywhere with running them). Someone explained about getting caught up in the tyranny of “How,” which is exactly where I was and all the time thinking about “How” do I do this thing instead of getting on and doing it. This other person said that you could run groups in person face to face which is something that I had forgotten about as well.
What is the use of reframing? And how can you use it in situations in your life? For example, if you have a roof that has fallen in, you’d have a roof light, or a leaking pipe could be a new water feature. Admittedly these are not very useful, but if you start looking at situations differently, then it could help to resolve the situation that you are in.
How can you do this yourself? Through such aspects as the second or third-person point of view, what is being said? How is it being said? What is the body language like? What is the interaction between before and after?
You could physically take up a different position and act as a child would. Instead of standing up or sitting down, you could, for example, stand in a different way when thinking about the problem, or turn to one side and then the other what would that particular situation be like then for you? As you take up these different positions, what does it feel like in your body? Is there more tension or less tension in a body part compared to where it is usually found? Are there emotions and feelings coming up that weren’t there before?
How about looking through the situation and using an imaginary set of binoculars and or a microscope to give very different perspectives of that situation as you look at it through a broad picture and then look at it in finer detail? A bird’s eye view and getting above the situation and being able to swoop and glide around with a sense of freedom what would that sense of freedom be like as you easily move about the problem or situation that you are currently facing?
Useful ways to reframe for yourself:
Write down your thoughts, which will bring them to your awareness, and as it is now on paper, you can begin to figure out how to change that thought process.
Is what you are saying to yourself factual? As I mentioned earlier, thoughts over time can get severely distorted. Where can I find the evidence behind this thought? What is the evidence behind this thought?
Is this thought useful for me? Or is there a better way of thinking about my situation?
Would I say this to a friend if they were facing the same problem? We generally tend to be kinder to our friends and are more self-critical. What would happen if you were kinder to yourself?
Are you being positive for the sake of being positive? When it could be that you are facing disaster and living in a “Pollyanna” world. What would a more realistic approach to the problem be like?
Where is the meaning in this situation? Will you be more compassionate towards yourself or others? What little things can you be grateful for?
Turn thoughts into actions which can then turn into deeds, and that can help you to feel better.
Where energy flows, attention goes. What is it you are currently focusing on and is it useful?
Finally, know when reframing is useful and when it isn’t. If you are in the middle of an important meeting or in a physical altercation, reframing probably isn’t the best thing to be doing at that point in time.
Richard Hilton, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Richard is a former member of the British Army. Upon leaving the military he studied extensively in self-defense, Conflict Management. Due to going through a difficult period on leaving, he realised that he needed to make major changes in the direction of his life He then began to study NLP and Hypnosis. He is now helping veterans and first responders with the difficulties and challenges that they are facing on a daily basis. He has also self-published his first book "Whispers over Windermere"
