Not Every Battle is From God – How to Recognise Self-Made Struggles and Build Resilience
- 6 hours ago
- 4 min read
Written by Shardia O’Connor, Cultural Consultant
Shardia O’Connor explores identity, power, leadership, and social conditioning through a values-led, critical lens.
"God doesn't give you more than you can handle." We hear this phrase everywhere, from social media captions to church pews. It's meant to comfort, suggesting we have the strength to endure whatever life throws at us. And in many cases, this is valid, especially when life brings sudden, uncontrollable hardships.
For example, in the Book of Job, a man of integrity suddenly faced immense suffering, not because of his choices, but as part of a larger divine test (Bible, Job). This story illustrates that some challenges are external, unpredictable, and beyond personal control, and in such cases, faith can indeed be a source of resilience.
But not all struggles are divine tests. Many of the battles people face are the result of actual life events or the consequences of choices, context, and circumstance. Conflating these with God given challenges can confuse personal accountability with coping, diminishing our ability to act with agency and resilience.
Understanding external vs. Self-inflicted struggles
The difference between external trials and self-inflicted struggles matters for how we approach healing and personal growth.
External trials are often beyond personal control, such as health crises, accidents, economic recessions, and similar forces. These can be framed spiritually as tests of endurance and faith, in which reliance on something greater than the self provides strength.
But self-inflicted struggles often arise from context, environment, or personal decisions. For example, job loss, while often triggered by broader economic forces, has well-documented psychological consequences. Research shows that unemployment can significantly affect mental health, contributing to anxiety, depression, and reduced life satisfaction.[1][2]
One detailed study examining job loss experiences found that individuals who lost work reported heightened stress, reduced perceived control, loss of self-esteem, shame, and financial strain, illustrating how a real-life event can lead to emotional burden and reduced well-being.
Another broad review confirmed that unemployment is linked with substantially greater depression and anxiety, emphasising that it is a significant public health concern, not merely a "challenge God gave you to prove you're strong."
Evidence on perceived control and resilience
Modern psychological science underscores the importance of perceived control, the belief that one can influence outcomes, as a mechanism of resilience. A 2026 study in Translational Psychiatry found that individuals with higher perceived control during stress exhibited fewer feelings of helplessness, more flexible stress responses, and fewer psychosomatic symptoms, suggesting that perceived control functions as a resilience factor that influences how stress is processed across multiple domains.
In this study, researchers assessed neural, hormonal, and emotional responses to stress tasks and found that people with a stronger internal sense of control showed reduced stress reactions and better mental health outcomes, regardless of the task's external uncontrollability.
This aligns with long-standing psychological theory: individuals who appraise stressful situations as controllable are more likely to engage in active coping, leading to better emotional and physiological outcomes.
Real-life consequences of external adversity
Large-scale research further confirms that unemployment and economic hardship have measurable effects on mental health:
A global analysis across 201 countries showed that unemployment is associated with higher risks of anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, drug use, and eating disorders, indicating the wide-ranging psychological impact of losing work.
Qualitative studies on unemployed individuals reveal negative emotional responses like depression, helplessness, and frustration, particularly during the job-seeking process and repeated rejections.
These documented effects illustrate how real-life events, not divine tests, can profoundly impact mental health, and why distinguishing between the two is essential.
Why it matters to understand the difference
Confusing self-generated struggles and consequences of circumstance with divine tests can:
Undermine personal agency, making people feel powerless instead of actionable.
Promote a passive mindset that discourages strategic change.
Blur the lines between spiritual endurance and practical, psychological adaptation.
True resilience comes from both acknowledging what is beyond control and taking ownership where we do have influence.
Practical takeaways for resilience
Here are strategies to build resilience based on evidence and lived experience:
Pause and reflect. Before labelling a struggle as a divine test, ask: Is this genuinely beyond my control or influenced by context and choices?
Cultivate perceived control. Increasing your sense of agency through actionable goals, routines, and skills strengthens emotional responses to stress. Evidence shows perceived control is a key resilience factor.
Seek support and skill-building. Social support, cognitive reframing, and structured problem solving enhance coping capacities.
Separate responsibility from blame. Owning your choices isn't about guilt, it's about empowerment and growth.
Conclusion
Faith offers strength and hope, especially amid circumstances beyond our control. But not all battles come from God. Life presents a mixture of unpredictable external trials and consequences of human experience, context, and choice. Recognising this distinction empowers us to build resilience with clarity, purpose, and agency.
So when life feels heavy, ask: Is this an external challenge I am enduring, or a life situation shaped by context and choices? Understanding the difference is where real resilience begins.
Read more from Shardia O’Connor
Shardia O’Connor, Cultural Consultant
Shardia O'Connor is an expert in her field of mental well-being. Her passion for creative expression was influenced by her early childhood. Born and raised in Birmingham, West Midlands, and coming from a disadvantaged background, Shardia's early life experiences built her character by teaching her empathy and compassion, which led her to a career in the social sciences. She is an award-winning columnist and the founder and host of her online media platform, Shades Of Reality. Shardia is on a global mission to empower, encourage, and educate the masses!
References:
[1] Olesen, S.C., Butterworth, P., Leach, L.S., Kelaher, M. and Pirkis, J. (2013) Mental health affects future employment as job loss affects mental health: findings from a longitudinal population study. BMC Public Health. Available here.
[2] Arena, A.F. et al. (2023) Mental health and unemployment: a systematic review and meta‑analysis. Journal of Affective Disorders. Available here.
[3] Meier, J., Kollmann, B., Meine, L.E. et al. (2026) Perceived control as a resilience factor: associations with neural, physiological and affective stress responses and mental health. Translational Psychiatry, 16(1), article 39. doi:10.1038/s41398‑025‑03786‑6.
[4] Anaf, J. et al. (2013) The interplay between structure and agency in shaping the mental health consequences of job loss. BMC Public Health, 13:110.
[5] Yang, Y. (2024) Unemployment and mental health: a global study. PMC. Available here.
