Navigating the Holidays With Family After Trauma
- Brainz Magazine
- Nov 27
- 4 min read
Updated: 7 days ago
Karen Robinson, MSW, ACSW, LCSW, CCTP-II, is a trauma recovery expert, bestselling author, and founder of Heal Thrive Dream Holistic Care Inc., where she empowers survivors to heal, thrive, and dream through therapy, coaching, summits, retreats, and holistic healing tools.
The holidays can bring joy, connection, and warmth. They can also stir up old wounds, especially for survivors of abuse, neglect, or painful family dynamics. When you have lived through trauma, the pressure to be cheerful or to keep the peace can feel heavy. You might experience mixed emotions, wanting to belong while also needing to protect yourself.
If this is your story, you are not alone. There are ways to move through the season with more confidence, clarity, and care for your heart.
1. Start holiday expectations realistically
Many survivors hope that the holidays will magically fix past hurts. They may also fear that being around family will reopen old injuries. Both can be true. It helps to set expectations that honor reality. You cannot control other people, but you can choose how you show up.
Before the season begins, ask yourself:
What is most important for my well-being
What situations tend to trigger me
What boundaries protect my peace
Knowing your limits early helps lower anxiety and prepares you for challenges.
2. Give yourself permission to set boundaries
Boundaries are a form of self-respect. They are not punishments or drama. They are protection. For trauma survivors, boundaries help the nervous system stay grounded and safe.
Your boundaries may include:
Limiting how long you stay at gatherings
Declining invitations that feel unsafe
Choosing a neutral location
Planning your own transportation
Not engaging in certain topics
It is okay to say, “I am not comfortable talking about that,” or “I need to step away for a moment.” You deserve safety, not stress.
3. Create a personal safety plan
A holiday safety plan keeps you from feeling trapped. Think of it as a supportive guide for your emotional and physical well-being.
Consider including:
A grounding technique you can use quietly
A supportive friend you can text
A simple phrase you can use to excuse yourself
A backup plan if things get tense
Calming practices such as breathing or stepping outside
Knowing you have options helps reduce fear and gives you more control.
4. Bring comfort items or rituals
Comfort matters. Small rituals help your nervous system feel more stable. Examples:
Wearing a calming scent
Bringing a journal
Listening to peaceful music
Practicing a breathing exercise before entering
Carrying a grounding object, such as a stone or bracelet
These small tools remind your body that you are safe right now.
5. Choose your company wisely
You do not have to spend time with everyone in your family. You can choose who gets your time and your emotional energy.
A healthy company might include:
A trusted sibling or cousin
A partner or close friend
Supportive chosen family
Anyone who respects your limits
Your emotional safety matters more than tradition.
6. Plan for emotional aftercare
Even positive interactions can drain a trauma survivor. Build in a gentle recovery time. Ideas:
A warm bath
Journaling
A comforting walk
Talking to someone you trust
A soft blanket and a quiet show
Meditation or prayer
Aftercare is not optional. It is kind to your nervous system.
7. Consider creating new traditions
You are allowed to step away from traditions that bring more pain than joy. New traditions might include:
Volunteering
Traveling somewhere peaceful
Hosting a smaller gathering of safe people
Enjoying a quiet holiday on your own terms
Cooking your favorite meal
Attending a community celebration
You get to decide what helps you feel whole.
8. Seek extra support if needed
The holidays can intensify trauma symptoms. Reaching out for support is an act of courage. Therapists, support circles, and trauma-informed events can provide grounding and guidance.
You may benefit from joining a structured healing space during this season. Heal Thrive Dream’s Holiday Healing Intensives offer practical tools, compassionate support, and a guided environment to help you move through the holidays with strength and clarity.
9. Remember you are not who you once were
Being around family can bring up old roles or memories. But you are not the person you were during those painful times. You are someone who has survived, learned, and grown.
Repeat to yourself:
I am allowed to heal
I am allowed to protect my peace
I am allowed to choose what is healthy for me
You deserve a season filled with gentleness, honesty, and hope.
Hosted with care by Karen Robinson
These Holiday Healing Intensives are led by Karen Robinson, MSW, ACSW, LCSW, CCTP II, an experienced trauma therapist, coach, and international bestselling author with more than 27 years of clinical experience supporting survivors. Karen specializes in trauma recovery, nervous system healing, and compassionate guidance for those who want to reclaim their emotional freedom and create healthier futures.
Her integrative approach blends evidence-based care with heartfelt, faith-centered support. She understands how painful holiday dynamics can be, and she created these intensives to offer survivors a safe place, grounded tools, and a community that honors their healing.
To join the Holiday Healing Intensives, visit here.
Read more from Karen Robinson
Karen Robinson, Founder and CEO of Heal Thrive Dream Holistic Care Inc.
Karen Robinson, MSW, ACSW, LCSW, CCTP-II, is an internationally recognized trauma recovery expert, bestselling author, and dynamic speaker. She is the founder of Heal Thrive Dream Holistic Care Inc., where she empowers survivors to heal, thrive, and dream through her proven HTD Method and six-pillar framework. Karen integrates traditional therapy with energy and somatic healing to help clients release trauma stored in the body and reclaim their wholeness. She has spoken at conferences, summits, and retreats, inspiring audiences with her expertise and personal journey of resilience. With over 27 years of clinical experience, she brings authenticity, hope, and transformation to every client and stage she serves.
