Lessons on Connection, Advocacy, Empathy, and Joy – Part 2
- May 2
- 10 min read
Updated: 2 days ago
Dr. Diane Jackson Schnoor is a nationally recognized speaker, educator, and children’s literature specialist. Founder of Dr. Diane’s Adventures in Learning and host of the Adventures in Learning podcast, she helps organizations use play-based learning to foster collaboration, creativity, and empathetic problem-solving.
If the first half of my "55 Lessons" was about the "soil" of the self, finding inner peace and learning through failure and success, this second half is about what we grow when we reach toward the light. We don’t live in isolation. What we do and how we grow connects us to the people and the planet around us.
In Part 2, we move from the personal to the community. These reflections are about being the "helper," embracing the Italian concept of abbastanza (enoughness), and learning that we don’t need to save the entire world to leave our little corner of it better than we found it. These lessons focus on how we carry the joy of a life well lived as a beacon of hope for a weary world.
Here are the remaining reflections on how to be the superhero in your own life and a good neighbor to the world
You're never too old to play. Play is a great conductor of joy and connection. You don't have to be "good" at it to have fun. Throw a silent disco for yourself, sing loudly in the car, do a jigsaw puzzle, paint with watercolors, build with Legos, break out the board games, try a new sport or class, grab coffee with a friend, read your way through the kids' section at the library, travel, play the drums. Whatever it takes to experiment, to laugh, to connect, to have fun, to remind yourself that you are not alone.
You are the superhero in your own life. Be who you want to be. Do the work to make a difference in the lives of those around you. Stand up for what's right. Be empathetic and kind. Live a life worth having. Lean into your bright colors or your favored pastels. Find your superpowers and embrace them. Celebrate what brings you joy, what gives you power, what helps you live creatively and with intention. You have one life. Don't wait for a superhero to come save you. Be your own superhero.
But you don't have to be the superhero in everyone's lives. While embracing your inner superhero, recognize that your life, your costume choices, your superpowers may not be for everyone, and that's okay. Let them find their own inner superhero and look for ways to collaborate. Maybe you won't save the entire world, maybe you will, but you can leave your corner of it better than you found it.
Leave things better than you found them. When we went hiking when I was little, we always picked up trash we found along the way and threw it out. I remember my parents would say, "Leave things better than you found them." That applies to hiking trails, but it also applies to making beds or putting away dishes. It can even apply to the places we work, the organizations we volunteer with, our friends and families, our planet. It doesn't take a ton of effort to be considerate. What can you do to leave something better than you found it?
Treat the planet as if you are borrowing it from your grandchildren. One of the reasons I eat vegetarian, mostly vegan, is because I want to reduce my impact on the planet. It's a small choice that has a big ripple effect in terms of resources. It's also the reason I've generally stopped buying new clothes and focus on thrifting and consignment. It's also a reason I've cut my own consumption and am focusing on shopping local and small. But it's also why I'm upping my activism, speaking up, standing up against tyranny. It's not enough to live for yourself or to think I'm fine, the future doesn't matter. Every choice we make has an impact. I want mine to be a continuation where there is fresh water, blue skies, thriving plants, majestic forests, clean air, and where animals and people coexist in a kinder, more empathetic world. I want baby rhinos and braying penguins and spitting iguanas to share space with children who embrace possibilities. I want a world of abbastanza, or enoughness.
More isn't always more. Abbastanza is enough. We are conditioned to think you always need more, that bigger, better, faster, braver, richer is the answer. It isn't. Embrace abbastanza, the Italian word for enough. What is enough? That answer is different for everyone. Mine is love, shelter, food, friends, freedom, thought, reading, speaking, gathering, exploring, traveling. Know what your abbastanza is.
Who you are when you are hurt or sick says more about you than who you are when everything is going right. Pain brings out the best and worst in us, whether it's an unexpected broken arm from a skiing fall, long term Covid, the flu or a cough, or a cancer diagnosis. How do you respond to pain and challenge? Do you curl in on yourself and hide away from the world? Do you curse and rail against the world? Do you ask for help? Do you do the little things day after day to help get just a little stronger? Do you remain in gratitude and keep seeking joy, even when it's tough? I’ve had many opportunities to study and learn about this in recent weeks as my dad is going through a ton of issues with his heart. I’ve been impressed with his sense of humor and his ability to still tell a good story, but I’ve been even more impressed with his willingness to accept help, to learn to ask for help, to smile and ask about the people on the team who are helping him even when he’s feeling pain.
What's the next best thing? This is a game I play with myself when I feel overwhelmed by lists and projects. What's the next best thing to do? It may be getting up from the computer to go brew tea. Do it. Then ask the question again and again.
Microsteps matter. When you are stressed or confused or procrastinating or stuck, it can feel really hard, even paralyzing, to move out of that quicksand. Small steps matter. One step. Then another. Ask what's the next best thing, and do that. If it's not the next best thing, at least you took a step. You can always go back to Shampoo, Rinse, Repeat.
Love your neighbor. This one is pretty central to life, and there are variations of this in nearly every global religion. Love and look after your neighbor. It doesn't say love the neighbors that look or act like you. Be empathetic, compassionate, kind. Do things that help, shoveling snow, dropping off treats or books, hosting dinners, watching pets, saying hello, being present and interested. When danger draws near or neighbors need help, be there, volunteering, protesting, donating. In an age of ice, be the salt that melts hearts, the sand that gives support and stability.
Practice Empathy and Engagement. The golden rule says do unto others as you would have them do unto you. But there's more to it than just treating people like you want to be treated. It's not a one size fits all situation. Practice empathy, taking a real interest in others, listening, asking questions, paying close attention to their stories and their humanity. That empathy is your guide for engagement, for knowing how to connect, for not needing to be the superhero, but rather an ally and friend.
Find the helpers. Look for the helpers in your community, the activists, the educators, the museum workers and librarians, the volunteers, the artists, actors, and musicians, the organizers, the people providing help, nourishment, and community. They are the spiritual backbone of the community, and they will help you too, if and when you need them.
Be the helpers. Join the helpers working in your community. Learn who they are. Support their work. Give time to aid their mission. Volunteer. Write letters. Make calls. Stand up for the things you believe in and speak out. Helping doesn’t just happen in groups. You can also be a helper, good neighbor, and friend to those around you.
Vote in every election. Register to vote. Pay attention to what's going on, especially to local and state politics. Vote in every single election. It matters.
Count your blessings. I used to do this at night, now I try to take time to tick off five things I’m grateful for in the mornings as well, and sometimes when I need a reminder during the day too. There are days when it's easy and days where the five things are harder to remember. But gratitude is a gateway to joy.
Pay attention to details and don't make assumptions. Sometimes two things look a lot alike but have very different properties. You want to know what you're dealing with so you can make smart decisions. Lemon juice and lime juice bottles, and cinnamon and chilli spice jars come immediately to mind. If you don't stop to carefully read the labels, you might wind up with lime juice in your tea or chilli powder in your coffee. It's not bad exactly, but it might not be what you were hoping for.
Zam-Buk is a miracle cure. When I was in South Africa, the photographer Chantelle gave me Zam-Buk, the "real makoya," to help heal a torn fingernail. I've since used it on bruises, cuts, chapped lips, and it's amazing. Maybe it really is a miracle cure, and maybe it only works because I believe it will. Find things worthy of your trust and belief. When you do, embrace them, and stay open to changing your mind or altering your opinions if new and better information comes along.
Print your pictures. If you take a photo that brings you joy, print it and put it on your wall or carry it in your journal. Let your memories live and remind you of their stories.
Post it notes are the best. Mantras, quotes, reminders, post it notes are a great vehicle for prompting our brains to connect to the things that help us grow.
Get a library card, and use it. The public library is such a wonderful invention. Spend time browsing the shelves, check out a book that surprises or intrigues you, go to a public library event just for fun.
Learn a company recipe or two. It's always a good idea to have a few things you make really well that you can do last minute. Pick a soup, a main dish, a side, and a dessert. Learn how to make them well. That way you're always ready for a potluck or unexpected company. Bonus points if you can adapt one of your favorite recipes from your childhood.
Don't pass up a chance to go to a farm market, local art show, or cultural event in town. Be open to trying new things, to supporting local artists, to finding the connections that come from food, music, theater, and art.
Seek out mentors and guides. You don't have to do it alone. Find people with wisdom and stories and a willingness to share. Most people who are making a difference in the world want to leave things better than they found them. They want to help the next generation. But sometimes you have to ask. Be a good listener, and don't forget to say thank you for their time and energy. Follow up with them. Learn from them. Build relationships over time.
Be a mentor and guide. You also have experiences, stories, and wisdom to share. Be generous with those who are seeking. Offer them the kind of friendship and support you want. Help water the seeds of possibilities and joy in others. It's a rich garden.
The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now. You have no control over the past or the future. But you do have control and agency in the present moment. Plant trees of hope, compassion, mercy, change, action. Plant seeds of joy and love. Be a crazy gardener for a wild and beautiful future that you can imagine but may never live to see.
Don't wait for someday to do the things you dream about doing. No one is guaranteed tomorrow. If you want to go to Ireland, figure out how to go to Ireland. If you want to write a book, write the book. If you want to learn to ski, take a lesson. If it's something that tugs at your heart, find a way to make it happen.
Say I love you. Now and often. There's enough hatred and sorrow in the world. Don't be stingy with your love. Smile at the stranger. Call the people you care about. Leave messages. Send notes. Text. And be love.
Take a chance. Invite someone who intrigues you to coffee. Apply for the job that scares you. Go on that solo trip you've been dreaming of. Take the dance class that feels next level challenging. Approach the potential podcast guest who seems "out of reach." The very worst thing that happens is a no. The best? Well, you won't know unless you take a chance.
Find your joy. Sing loudly in the car. Belly laugh with your sister. Dance in the puddles. Hike the hills. Hold your loved ones close. Stay curious and spend an hour watching a spider build its web. Walk on the beach. Talk to the neighbors. Smile at a stranger. Celebrate the things that light you up and bring magic into your world.
Love yourself. Love your messy, complicated, rainbow bright soul. You are a work in progress. You'll make mistakes. You'll take windy, twisty roads. You'll find friends and traveling companions in unusual places who will journey with you for a time. You'll travel through breathtaking vistas and struggle through valleys. Every journey, every friend, every love, every breath, is a step towards finding your deepest, truest, most beautiful nature. You are a divine gift of the Universe. Never forget that.
What seeds are you planting?
If you created a list of 55 things you’ve learned through living, what would be on it? What’s similar on our lists, and what would you add from the richness of your own experiences? How can you carry the joy of a life well lived to be a beacon of hope for a weary world? While you’re waiting for part two, please check out the Adventures in Learning podcast for more stories of hope, empathy, action, and joy.
Read more from Dr. Diane Jackson Schnoor
Dr. Diane Jackson Schnoor, Speaker, Podcast Host, Education Consultant
Dr. Diane Jackson Schnoor is a nationally recognized speaker, educator, and podcast host who believes better learning, and better leadership, start with play. With more than 30 years of experience spanning classrooms, museums, and universities, she helps organizations create environments where curiosity sparks collaboration, creativity fuels critical thinking, and empathy drives problem-solving. Her work blends children’s literature, play-based STEAM learning, and real-world leadership to show what’s possible when we commit to learning and leading through play.
