It's Okay to Feel Stuck
Written by Britt-Mari Sykes, Career Counsellor
Britt-Mari Sykes, Ph.D., CDP, is a career counsellor and founder of CANVAS Career Counselling, working remotely with clients across Canada.
We can feel stuck at any point in our career lives. Feeling stuck is okay, it’s an invitation to bring more focus and awareness to what we are experiencing. By embracing this moment of pause, we can uncover valuable insights, reassess our goals, and take the necessary steps toward a more fulfilling path forward.
We can feel stuck about career choices or the direction we believe our careers should take. We might also feel stuck in jobs or positions that are unfulfilling and lack meaning or purpose. We can feel stuck when facing a career change and are unsure about our next steps. We may feel conflicted and trapped by the compromises we are making in our careers, which can lead to feeling stuck. Additionally, we might feel stuck at retirement age, contemplating the end of our careers or the start of a new work chapter.
When I think about my work as a career counsellor, I have to say that feeling stuck is the most common reason clients reach out to me. It is also an experience for which most of us want a quick fix. This is understandable. Feeling stuck doesn’t feel good, but it’s also a valuable invitation.
Feeling stuck is an invitation
The experience of being stuck encourages us to be more present, pause, reflect on our experiences, and stay open to new awareness and perspectives. When we feel stuck, we are reminded that our lives and careers do not follow perfectly planned and executed paths. Our lives and careers are dynamic, characterized by movement, and subject to constant change. We experience and engage with this movement, which is further influenced by many factors, including new perspectives, possibilities, choices, decisions, changes, and shifting directions. Being stuck offers us a chance to consider how we experience, navigate, and incorporate change in our lives and careers.
Accepting our feelings of being stuck might seem counterintuitive to freeing ourselves from those same feelings. However, acceptance creates space for a deeper awareness of how we are experiencing our lives and careers. This awareness can often bring greater clarity to the questions, concerns, fears, or hopes behind “the stuck.” The experience and feelings of being stuck now have more context. This clarity, in turn, provides valuable information that we can explore creatively, uncovering possibilities, choices, or options we may not have considered or believed possible.
Client experiences
What does being stuck sound like? How can we begin to unravel some of that “stuck”? Let’s look at two examples.
“I want change, but I am afraid of making the wrong choice”
Sound familiar? We want to change, shift, or move forward in our lives in some way, but we get stuck in the fear of making a wrong decision or choice.
Break it down into parts. Below are sample questions to start. What additional questions would you ask?
What do you want to change? Write it out and describe it in detail.
Why is this change important or meaningful to you at this stage of your life or career?
How could this change impact your life? What new possibilities might it create?
How motivated are you to take steps toward this change? Can you imagine a first step? What would it be?
What aspects of this potential change could you research, gather information on, or explore through informational meetings?
Can you differentiate between what a right or wrong choice might look like? How would each feel?
What might happen if you made a wrong choice?
“I am burnt out in a stable job and an established profession. Do I take a chance and make a change?”
Burnout can significantly affect our relationship with work and career. As shown in this example, it’s common to find ourselves in a conflicted situation where we feel stuck. The job is stable, which is important, but we’re experiencing burnout. Our well-being needs attention despite the job’s stability. We want to make a change, but doing so means leaving a secure job and income. We feel stuck. What should we prioritize?
Break it down into parts. Below are sample questions to start. What additional questions would you ask?
What does my burnout feel like? Write it out and describe it in detail.
When did I become aware of my burnout? What changes did I notice? What was happening around me, at work, and in other areas of my life?
How is burnout affecting the way I work, my attitudes, and contributions? How is burnout impacting other parts of my life?
Have I tried making any changes, even small ones, to address my burnout? What were these changes? How did they feel?
When I think about prioritizing my well-being at this point in my life, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Can I imagine how it would feel to put my well-being first? What is one thing I would do for myself?
How important is job stability to me? How meaningful is this profession to me? Can I imagine changing jobs and careers?
What makes this job meaningful beyond the stability?
What possible changes can I make in my current work environment?
For further reflection
Reflect on your personal experiences of feeling stuck.
What is it like to feel stuck? What other words, feelings, and sensations do you connect with your experiences of being stuck?
What are the context(s) contributing to feeling stuck?
What is your experience inviting you to be aware of, question further, or to change?
Career Counselling can help at any stage of your career life. Contact Britt-Mari Sykes at hello@mycareercanvas.co for more information or to book a consultation.
Britt-Mari Sykes, Career Counsellor
Britt-Mari Sykes Ph.D. is a Career Counsellor and founder of CANVAS Career Counselling working remotely with clients across Canada. Britt-Mari offers a reflective and strategic process to clients, one that integrates their lived experiences, values, and aspirations. This experiential approach to career counselling helps clients gain greater clarity and perspective and design practical steps towards a more meaningful relationship with work and career.
