Sharon LeShane is an Intuitive Healer, Transformative Coach, Spiritual Mentor, Reiki Master, Sound Alchemist, Women's Circle Facilitator, Yoga Instructor and Meditation Teacher. She loves, guides and empowers others to shine, embody and share their inner light.
Positivity is often celebrated as a powerful force for personal growth and resilience, but could there be a downside to always looking on the bright side? While maintaining an optimistic outlook can uplift and inspire, unchecked positivity may also suppress genuine emotions and hinder deeper connections. This article explores the dual nature of positivity, uncovering how it can be both a tool for empowerment and a potential barrier to authenticity.
The benefits of positivity
Healthy positivity plays a powerful role in shaping our outlook on life. It fosters the ability to focus on solutions instead of problems and cultivates resilience when faced with unexpected setbacks.
Embracing a positive mindset helps us cope with stress, maintain healthier relationships and sustain good emotional and mental health. Practicing gratitude and focusing on what is working reduces stress and enhances personal and professional growth.
When positivity is not the answer
Positivity is valuable in maintaining hope and perspective. However, it should not come at the cost of emotional honesty.
Positivity becomes toxic when it begins to dismiss, repress, or invalidate real and uncomfortable emotions. If we pressure ourselves to maintain a positive attitude in every situation, we put on a “happy face” and suppress our feelings.
Spirituality is often used as the reason for unwavering positivity. This results in avoiding feelings associated with emotional pain, unresolved trauma or life challenges. Spiritual bypassing happens when we lean on spiritual practices to escape from our emotions. While this may appear harmless, constantly denying our real feelings is dangerous because it disguises emotional avoidance as spiritual enlightenment.
Discomfort and pain are natural parts of our human experience. Allowing ourselves to feel encourages healing and growth, denying how we feel inhibits it.
Authentic healing requires facing and processing our feelings. Spiritual practices and positivity are useful supports and not meant to be escapes. Reframing our challenges to a positive perspective is useful only after we recognize underlying emotions.
Emotions are natural
In “Conversations with God,” Neale Donald Walsh writes, “Hidden in your deepest feelings is your highest truth. The trick is to get to those feelings.” Feelings are described as the “language of the soul,” with all decisions stemming from either love or fear. Five natural emotions are identified, and when expressed healthily, they are integral to our human experience: fear, love, grief, anger and envy.
Fear is natural and, from the perspective of evolution, was meant to protect us from harm. Accepting fear reduces its power, and it can be channeled to fuel growth. If fear is chronic or repressed, it becomes anxiety and panic.
Love is a natural emotion. When love is expressed freely it creates joy, unity and peace. If love is repressed, it becomes possessiveness.
Grief is a natural response to loss. It manifests in emotional waves and has several stages. If grief is repressed, it becomes chronic depression.
Anger is a natural emotion and our soul’s way of letting us know we are not in alignment. It can inspire positive change and a call to action. Repressed anger is dangerous because it leads to resentment, rage and potentially violent behavior.
Envy is a natural longing for what someone else possesses or has achieved. It can be a healthy motivator. However, if envy is repressed, it becomes jealousy, creating resentment, competitiveness, criticism, bitterness, and hostility.
Awareness of our feelings and practicing healthy outlets for emotional processing are important to our overall wellness. When our natural emotions are suppressed, they become distorted and destructive.
Emotions are a profound gift. They provide insight into whether something aligns with our highest good or not. By embracing our feelings, we become more self-aware and trust our intuition. If we only allow ourselves to feel “positive” emotions and suppress “negative” ones, we miss the opportunities for growth and liberation.
Healthy strategies for emotional healing
Crying
Crying is a natural emotional release, helping to reduce stress and process deep emotions like sadness, overwhelm, fear, frustration or joy.
Laughing
Laughter releases endorphins in the brain, reduces stress hormones, and fosters a sense of connection. Humor and comedy are joyful ways to free trapped emotions.
Talking
Sharing your feelings with a trusted friend, family member, life coach or therapist can be very liberating. Participating in a support group, sharing experiences through public speaking or speaking thoughts out loud in private are therapeutic. Verbalizing emotions is encouraged. However, if you feel overwhelmed and unable to articulate, try screaming into a pillow or singing loudly to your favorite song.
Journaling
Writing thoughts and feelings can be a productive way to understand and release emotions. Journal prompts will guide you to dive into your feelings and their roots. Journaling is a helpful addition to many other activities listed because it will provide further clarity and perspective.
Nature
Spending time in nature through grounding, earthing or forest bathing will enhance emotional well-being. Walking barefoot or connecting with the elements of nature, such as trees, water, grass, sand, or rocks, can evoke feelings of calm and safety. Nature is healing and greatly enhances spiritual connection.
Physical movement
Walking, hiking, running, strength training, cardio, yoga, pilates, qigong, tai chi, boxing, kickboxing, sports and dancing reduce stress. If you don’t have a punching bag but feel it would be a liberating activity, try punching a pillow. Any movement, even tapping, bouncing, or shaking, encourages your body to free stored emotions.
Breathing techniques
Breathing practices are powerful tools for reducing stress and promoting relaxation and there are many to choose from. Various styles of yoga integrate breathing techniques as part of their holistic practice. They include energizing, calming, meditative, alternate nostril, cooling, mindful, and breath retention techniques. Many yoga styles, such as laya yoga, combine breathing techniques with body gestures, locks, and movements, providing an opportunity for a powerful purification and purging of suppressed emotions.
Meditation and mindfulness
Deep breathing, meditation, and mindfulness help to increase awareness of emotions and minimize overwhelm. There are many styles of meditation to explore to find what works best for your needs.
Cold or heat therapy
A plunge in cold water regulates stress response, activates the vagus nerve, releases endorphins and reduces anxiety. Cold water immersion can bring up raw emotions for clearing, especially if combined with breathing techniques. Heat Saunas also offer deep relaxation, stress relief, improved mood and mental clarity. The heat provides detoxification, increased circulation and opportunity for reflection and emotional release.
Creative expression
Practices such as creative writing, poetry, drawing, painting, crafting, sculpting, gardening, cooking, photography, playing musical instruments and singing are all creative expressions. Listening to music, dancing, decluttering, and reorganizing our space allows us to process emotions nonverbally and intuitively.
Self-reflection
Taking time to reflect or engage in self-inquiry helps you gain insight into your emotions. Asking yourself, “What am I feeling?” and “What is this emotion trying to tell me?” can lead to deeper self-awareness and emotional clarity. A healthy change in perspective may follow, especially if journaling follows the self-reflection.
Playing with pets
Pets provide unconditional love and companionship. Spending time with pets releases oxytocin, which lowers cortisol levels and has a calming effect. Caring for an animal allows us to channel nurturing emotions. Playing with them brings laughter and lightens our mood. Pets provide comfort through their soothing touch, and we express ourselves freely in their nonjudgmental presence.
Alternative practices
The following is a non-exhaustive list of alternative practices that support emotional processing: Reiki, Chakra Balancing, Aura Cleansing, Sound Healing, Shamanic Healing, Somatic Therapy, Healing Touch, Emotional Freedom Technique, Reflexology, Massage, Chromotherapy, Crystal Healing, Shiatsu Therapy, Herbalism, Plant Medicine, Hypnotherapy, Aromatherapy, Craniosacral Therapy, Naturopathy, Acupuncture, Acupressure, Tension and Trauma Releasing Exercises (TRE) and Neurogenic Yoga.
Allowing yourself to feel vulnerable and being okay with not having all the answers or solutions right away is part of healthy emotional processing. It’s safe to sit with the discomfort and remind yourself that this, too, shall pass.
After reviewing the above strategies, reflect on those you currently use and consider which ones could be deepened for a greater impact. Evaluate which practices you have not been utilizing and consider which ones have healing potential.
We tend to practice the same routine because it feels comfortable. We also convince ourselves that it’s the best routine to maintain that level of comfort and familiarity. However, if we want to change and grow, we must do something different. That means stepping out of our comfort zone, trying something new and allowing ourselves and our practices to evolve.
Supporting others
When we have developed the ability to manage our own emotions, we can respond healthily to the feelings of others.
When a loved one is suffering, it’s often difficult to listen without trying to solve the problem. It's natural to want to help but losing our perspective is common. We confuse supporting someone with telling them what they want to hear or offering advice. Statements beginning with “well, at least.” “it could be worse” or “Everything happens for a reason,” as well-meaning as this may be, are not helpful or reassuring. They need support and time to feel and process their emotions.
Active listening will be more appreciated than attempts to fix the situation. If they do not want to discuss, offer support with a temporary distraction.
How do we achieve and maintain balance?
The balance between positivity and accepting our emotions means we embrace the full spectrum of our experiences. Instead of forcing a positive state of mind and concealing our true feelings, healthy positivity is a natural byproduct of emotional acceptance.
Self-compassion and surrounding yourself with high-vibration people are crucial elements in fostering emotional wellness.
The energy we absorb from the people around us has a significant impact on our well-being. Evaluate the people you spend time with by noticing if they focus on their problems, all the things they don’t have, or all that is wrong in the world. If you spend most of your time with people with this mindset, your energy will feel depleted.
Spend most of your time with people who focus on constructive solutions, encourage gratitude, practice healthy positivity and offer honest perspectives when asked. You will feel uplifted and energized.
Create a circle of people who support you when needed and celebrate your accomplishments. The significance of trustworthy friends through life's ups and downs cannot be overemphasized.
This Louise Hay quote has helped me and my clients: “All is Well. Everything is working out for my highest good and the highest good of all. Only good will come from this situation and experience. I am safe.”
Courage and honesty are necessary for us to accept and feel uncomfortable emotions. We can choose to practice strategies for emotional processing on our own. However, guidance is valuable as we work through our feelings, learn what triggers them and dig deeper to see the big picture of what they are revealing.
I specialize in blending modalities integrating Intuitive Reiki Healing, Transformative Coaching, Laya Yoga, Chakra Clearing and Balancing, Meditation and Sound Healing.
Some clients thrive in group sessions such as the Awaken Your Authentic Self program, which provides group coaching, a supportive community, and fosters new friendships. Others prefer a customized approach with personalized coaching and mentorship. A complimentary initial session would uncover what would be in mutual alignment.
Positive change starts with action. Are you ready to take the next step toward the life you deserve?
Read more from Sharon Doyle LeShane
Sharon Doyle LeShane, Intuitive Reiki Healer and Transformative Coach
Sharon LeShane is a Spiritual Mentor and Intuitive Healer. LeShane Seaside Vitality ensued from her strong passion for empowering others toward a more fulfilling personal and professional life. She offers Intuitive Reiki Healing, Illuminating Sound Alchemy, Transformative Coaching, Sacred Women’s Circles, Divine Meditation Journeys and Yoga. “Awaken Your Authentic Self “and “Awaken Circle for Women” are programs she created to empower and inspire. Sharon creates sacred space for healing and offers love, guidance, and motivation to assist in connecting with one's higher self and personal power.
