Inspiring Surrogacy Journeys and Support for Rainbow Families – Interview with Bryan McColgan
- Brainz Magazine
- Oct 8
- 6 min read
Dr. Bryan McColgan is a Stanford and Columbia University-trained physician who is currently on his first journey to fatherhood through surrogacy. Navigating IVF and surrogacy in the United States from his current home in Sweden led Bryan to start the Gay Dad Reporter, the leading online platform dedicated to assisted reproduction for gay intended fathers. His mission is ethical surrogacy for gay intended dads everywhere.
Bryan McColgan, Physician Journalist
Introduce yourself! Please tell us about you and your life, so we can get to know you better.
While I am a doctor and journalist, I also identify as a gymnast, gay man, husband, expat, current dog dad, and intended human dad. When I’m not researching and writing for Gay Dad Reporter, I can be found watching action movies, reading a science fiction novel, baking a quick loaf, or wandering through the forest with my dog, Ruth. I’m proud to be a ‘basic’ gay who loves Disney and Christmas, and I will always say ‘yes’ to a pumpkin-spiced latte. I feel most free on a gymnastics trampoline, and I spend most of my time wearing athleisure. I have spent my life in the U.S., Africa, and Europe, and I care deeply about my ‘chosen family’ of friends I have met along the way. I often think about the legacy we all leave behind, and I hope to live my life so that the world is a better place because of my being in it.
What inspired you to start Gay Dad Reporter, and how does it reflect your personal journey?
I started Gay Dad Reporter as a way to organize my own research and thoughts about my husband and my surrogacy journey. IVF and surrogacy, especially international surrogacy, are incredibly complex logistically, financially, and emotionally, and I found that writing was the best way for me to navigate and process the journey. During my own research, I found the narrative around surrogacy was either lacking, biased, or outdated. At worst, the discourse online around surrogacy is either extremely commercial or equates it to child trafficking. I felt there needed to be more objective, useful information for gay men wanting to become fathers through surrogacy. I also wanted to share gay dads’ stories about their own journeys so that others can learn from their experiences. Gay Dad Reporter has expanded to include articles on rainbow families, novel assisted reproduction technologies, and the changing regulatory landscape of global surrogacy, offering the Internet’s most balanced view on ethical surrogacy and gay fatherhood.
What are your current goals for your business?
I want Gay Dad Reporter to be the no.1 resource for gay men pursuing surrogacy and navigating fatherhood. I want Gay Dad Reporter to inspire other gay men to pursue their dreams of parenthood as well as to counter the negative vitriol around surrogacy and rainbow families. I want Gay Dad Reporter to be the voice of gay intended and current dads, as it is more important than ever for us to be visible and proud of who we are.
For someone just starting their journey into surrogacy, what advice would you give?
A surrogacy journey is not a race, but if it were, it would definitely be a marathon. First, read Gay Dad Reporter and reach out to me with any questions you may have. Second, think if surrogacy is the best path towards fatherhood for you, or would you prefer adoption or fostering? Third, identify and bring your support system along for the journey. This can be your partner, family, and/or friends, but they will be instrumental in helping you navigate the challenges that will undoubtedly arise. These are three great steps to take to start running your surrogacy marathon.
What is the most rewarding part of helping others become parents through Gay Dad Reporter?
As a doctor, I could only help the patient in front of me. With Gay Dad Reporter, I can help gay men all over the world. When I get a message that a gay intended dad learned something useful on the site or was inspired by another dad’s story, I feel incredibly proud and grateful. I truly believe that rainbow families and the diversity they bring will make the world a better place, and I feel this is my contribution towards that better future.
Where do you see Gay Dad Reporter in the next few years? Any exciting plans for the future?
In order to expand the voices of gay dads and their surrogacy journeys, I am planning on expanding the authorship for Gay Dad Reporter. Currently, I compose all the content for the site. It would be great to have other ‘reporters’ who could write about topics unique to their journey, country, profession, family, or fatherhood experience. In addition to this, I would love to develop a global community for gay dads. Most of the conversations around surrogacy for gay men happen on large social media platforms like Facebook groups. The unique and sensitive nature of this community and the shared knowledge and experience could benefit from a self-contained, niche social media enterprise, and I would like Gay Dad Reporter to lead that development. I am always open to collaborations and partnerships, so if you are interested in contributing to Gay Dad Reporter as a writer and/or building a global platform for gay intended and current dads, please reach out via the Gay Dad Reporter site.
What message would you give to those looking to become parents but feeling uncertain about the process?
No one, myself included, knows everything about surrogacy. It’s constantly evolving and every journey is unique. You don’t have to be 100% certain before you start the process. Begin by reaching out to me via Gay Dad Reporter or talking with friends who have gone through the process. As I said, the Internet is a challenging place to find objective, useful information around assisted reproduction, and AI search is making this even worse. So start with trusted resources like Gay Dad Reporter and people in your life to talk through what a journey could look like.
Who inspires you to be the best that you can be?
My husband, Victor. He is such a caring, gentle, and sensitive human being who is also the most resilient person I have ever met. I want to be great to thank him for all the support and love he has provided me.
If you could change one thing about your industry, what would it be and why?
I would love for the description of surrogacy to change. Currently, surrogacy is described as ‘altruistic’ or ‘commercial.’ Altruistic is when the surrogate or gestational carrier receives no direct compensation. Commercial is when the surrogate receives payment for the journey. I think this distinction is completely misleading. First, all surrogacy journeys are altruistic. These amazing women are helping people have a family they could otherwise never have. Regardless of direct payment, surrogates want to help people and care deeply about the family they are helping to create. Second, commercial surrogacy makes it sound like the process is completely devoid of human emotion. I believe with my whole heart that all surrogates should be compensated. No one would ever consider not paying the doctor, lawyer, or agency in a journey, so why should the surrogate be okay with it? Lastly, compensated surrogates and these journeys are still incredibly joyful, happy experiences for all involved, and intended parents and compensated surrogates form incredible relationships. It is unfair to polarize surrogacy into altruistic and commercial definitions when an ethical journey can happen in either.
Tell us about a pivotal moment in your life that brought you to where you are today.
I moved to Sweden on a whim. My husband got a job, and I wanted a change of scenery. I had no idea how hard the transition would actually be, and it was compounded by the COVID pandemic. However, it was during this isolation that I started Gay Dad Reporter. If I had stayed in the U.S. with my known job and social life, I don’t know that I would have had the same time, opportunity, and courage to start this project. While I would never recommend someone move halfway across the world to start an enterprise, it has been the silver lining in my sometimes cloudy and often sunless experience living in the Nordics.
Thanks for taking the time to learn more about Dr. Bryan McColgan. If you’d like to stay up to date with all topics related to surrogacy and fatherhood for gay men, visit Gay Dad Reporter and sign up for the newsletter.
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